InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I LOVE THE JUSTIN."

Roy Harper is No One's Sidekick (imnosidekick) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2013-04-28 16:59:00

Current mood:	blah
Entry tags:	beleg cuthalion, jean grey (phoenix), joe simmons, roy harper (red arrow) ii, tomoe hotaru (sailor saturn), zevran arainai

[Locked from Clintowyn. Open to others]
So why is it that when you finally call someone out on the fact that they've replaced you, when you've tried to avoid bringing up that fact for months now, that you're the one who ends up feeling shitty? I mean, Hell, it's not as if he doesn't have a RIGHT to have a romance and be happy. Hell *I* have one and I'm happy. I just...

It's... Just that I'm no longer any active part of the guy's life and he's stopped giving a shit about me and it HURTS and when I finally tell him how I feel, I'm the one who feels guilty about it?

I'm...confused. And NOT the one at fault.

(Post a new comment)

	easy_lover 2013-04-28 09:19 pm UTC (link)
	I know this is a silly thing to say, but perhaps you could write him a letter? It helped me with my father. You do not have to send it if you do not wish, but you can say what you are thinking. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-28 09:21 pm UTC (link)
	How is it that you know all the best ways to make me feel better? You're amazing and no matter how sad I get, I'm so glad that I have YOU. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easy_lover 2013-04-28 09:36 pm UTC (link)
	I understand rejection from a father figure. All too well. I love you too. I still hope that you two will work things out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-28 09:40 pm UTC (link)
	...yeah, yeah you WOULD. And now I want to come and hug and find you. And I love you so much. I'd be nuts by now without you so thank you for tolerating my weirdness and putting up with me. And thank you. I hope so too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easy_lover 2013-04-28 10:06 pm UTC (link)
	I am with our son, out on the patio. We should go swimming, the day is nice. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-28 10:10 pm UTC (link)
	That sounds like a great idea. And we have to get his swimming lessons continued so he can be adorable on TV! I'll be right out. And just had a mental image of myself as his mother. Good LORD. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easy_lover 2013-04-28 10:14 pm UTC (link)
	We're his two fathers, like the old television show. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-28 10:23 pm UTC (link)
	We clearly need a theme song. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easy_lover 2013-04-28 10:33 pm UTC (link)
	oh god I'm sure they'll come up with one (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-29 12:24 am UTC (link)
	I kinda hope they do, admittedly. It'd be funny. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	glaiveofsilence 2013-04-28 09:44 pm UTC (link)
	I...I think I know what you mean. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-28 09:51 pm UTC (link)
	I mean...I don't want him to be UNHAPPY and his fiancee is really great for him, but I'm just...cut out of his life, it feels like. And I'm never sure when or if I'll be bugging him and...it hurts. I'm sorry you've got that going on too. Barton was like my big brother or a dad, and now... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sir glaiveofsilence 2013-04-28 09:58 pm UTC (link)
	My...my foster brother moved out a few months ago and he has a girlfriend now. She's nice and we talked recently and I still talk to him a lot, but I miss him. It's not like it used to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Milady

imnosidekick
2013-04-28 10:01 pm UTC (link)

My archery coach, well former coach, wound up engaged at Christmas and hasn't really spent any time with me at all since then. He....we went through a LOT while we were working together, he took care of me after I had a life changing accident and things and it feels like, I don't know, like he's trying to throw things away. And his fiancee is...I like her but...

I just want Barton back yeah. It's so DIFFERENT.

I'm Roy, by the way.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-29 12:41 am UTC (link)
	Maybe you can find a quiet place and try to say something to him, tactfully, and explain more precisely how it hurt you. After giving yourselves some time to think on things, without pushing matters again, right away? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-29 12:44 am UTC (link)
	That probably IS better than what I'm trying. I don't know, my coping skills are SHIT. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beleg_cuthalion 2013-04-29 12:50 am UTC (link)
	I find that sometimes distance can offer better perspective. Look at it this way, it's like firing a bow. You want to be further away so you know what to aim at, and not have your target trying to eat your face! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	closetheloop 2013-04-29 01:49 am UTC (link)
	You're being kind of passive aggressive about it. Maybe not at fault, but you can call them out on it without turning it into a shit storm. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-29 02:12 am UTC (link)
	Am I? I could be, I admit. It's hard to figure out this stuff sometimes. But yeah that's why I locked it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	closetheloop 2013-04-29 02:14 am UTC (link)
	You're posting to strangers on the internet instead of talking to him about it. Seriously, not trying to be a dick but this is shit teenage girls do. Go talk to your bro, sort it out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-29 04:13 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, cause I have no idea what I'm supposed to do to handle it, really. So...kinda teenage girlish. See there's a solid idea. Thank you! (Reply to this) (Parent)

heartofflame
2013-04-29 01:52 am UTC (link)

But you are seeing it in terms of fault. Of bring wronged.

Perhaps you both have relationships that required work, or at least, maybe he did. And maybe it's not intentionally abandoning you, but it feels that way.

I think weighing how intentional the hurt really is and removing words like 'fault' might help you regain your balance. If you're seeing growth as worthy of blame, it's bound to go terribly.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-29 02:13 am UTC (link)
	I...don't see it as any kind of growth I guess. More of a moving on that happened as a conscious choice in my head. Maybe if I step back I'll get the perspective you're talking about. It's hard though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartofflame 2013-04-29 02:22 am UTC (link)
	A personal relationship is not always visible to the outside. He might have needed to focus on that and letting that grow. Not every part of life needs to be public. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2013-04-29 04:03 am UTC (link)
	There IS that. It's more...frustration I guess. Among other stuff talking. I...probably jumped the gun. (Reply to this) (Parent)