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Tweak says, "Sup Suzie Q?"

ᴡᴇ ᴘɪʟʟᴀɢᴇ, ᴡᴇ (plunder) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2016-12-16 15:54:00

Entry tags:

!complete, kenzi malikov, killian jones (captain hook), regina mills (evil queen)

Who: Royal Pirate Family + Liam, who randomly appears!
What: Wish granted
When: Yesterday, the 15th
Where: Haus of Disney Villainy
Rating/Warnings: Loads of feels
Status: Complete

Christmas in Ireland was beautiful - so many snug pubs, secret hideaways, lovely landscapes. The mountains were especially nice, ridges covered in snow, and looking like something picturesque from a Narnia novel. Liam was a traditionalist though, partial to the beauty right there at home in Belfast - the markets were free, at least, with tonnes of food, decorations, arts and crafts. Plenty of things to look around at, even if most of what they wanted couldn’t be afforded. But when Killian was younger, Liam would trudge through the snow and walk with him until they made it to Santa’s post box, at the market, and watch as his little brother dropped off a letter every year. Always before 21st December, that way they’d get a letter in return - it was one tradition that had obviously lost its magic and splendour as they grew, but overall a nice break from the crummy flat they lived in, often reeking of booze and cigarette smoke. Or, on Christmas especially, burned ham.

Brennan never did figure out how to cook a Christmas ham. He also never figured out how to not be plastered for the holidays.

One year as a holiday treat, they’d even managed to have afternoon tea at Titanic Belfast. In a replica of the first-class dining room (even the napkins were Irish linen, very posh), it had been a wonderful experience stuffing themselves with sandwiches and scones. He hoped that Killian took Kenzi to do that - it was where Liam would have taken her, something for the two of them.

But now, this Christmas. He stopped and picked up a holly wreath for the door, specifically holly, as it was also tradition that went back a long way, and was pleased to see the candle in the window when he arrived. Knocking cheerily, he couldn’t wait to see the surprise when everyone realised he’d made it for Christmas. Well, it was a long trip from...he’d come from Belfast, hadn’t he? Actually granted leave for the holidays this year. That was something.

Ho ho ho, bitches. Kenzi was pretty stoked this year all things considered - everything was going along nicely with having had convinced her majesty Gigi McTits on the Nightmare Before Christmas holiday decor. Gave the home a nice, gothic-like touch which was something the once-titled Evil Queen was actually alright with, and overall, home was cozy. It was especially so with the addition of the little starfish that was constantly being doted on - Meara was visibly growing from being a squirmy that cried non-stop to a teeny human that was beginning to smile more and recognize those around her.

And it was probably a good age to do a family activity like, oh, make a gingerbread brothel? It was a project they were working on in the living room, the fireplace crackling in the background, pieces of candy and cookie sheets making a mess on the coffee table. Once her niece developed more of an understanding of things it’d of course be a house, but Kenzi would enjoy putting little dollops on the gingerbread people for boobs while the infant had no idea what anything was.

Regina wasn’t participating, not with the baby snuggled up onto her bosom with her little fingers clasped around the ring Killian had given her. Such a shiny thing that caught her daughter’s curiosity, and she at least wasn’t at the age where she had the strength to yank it off her neck. There was also no getting up from the designer sofa even if someone was at the door, so that expectant look was delivered at Killian and the sibling that could be his twin to deal with it.

“Fiiiiine, I got iiiit,” sighed the mini-pirate as she rose from the floor. Sweatpants with little shark designs and a tanktop to lounge around with was what she was dressed with, but the despite the fashion laziness that pitch-black hair was on fleek, silky and straight, and that eye makeup was still eternally flawless. There was a hop-limp to the door (her foot had pins and needles, noooo), and she didn’t look through the peephole to detect who it was.

Kenzi was hoping it was girl scouts selling cookies or something.

But what she didn’t know when she opened the door was that she’d be looking at someone so familiar, someone with a nose that matched hers, someone who shouldn’t be made flesh into this world yet somehow was. And at that moment she had forgotten every word in the English and Russian language, because all that came out from her mouth was a very strained uhhhhhhhhh.

Kenzi seemed surprised, and Liam wondered why that was. Did he forget to zip up his trousers before he knocked? It took a quick glance down to confirm, just to be sure - but no, he looked impeccable. Dark slacks paired with a crisp dress shirt, complete with tie and a sweater, winter coat thrown over that. His boots were clean, but he made sure to politely wipe them off on the doormat outside.

“Am I too early?” he asked, his Irish burr not as scalded as Killian’s - but still quite a brogue, lively somehow, he just always sounded like he was getting the most out of life. “Here, put this up and give me a hug, why don’t you!”

The wreath went on the door right as Killian moved to see what all the commotion was about (and why Kenzi was just standing there letting cold air blow in). Compared to Liam, prim and polished, the pirate looked tragic - his Jolly Roger long-sleeved t-shirt was one he hadn’t been able to salvage all the way from baby stains, and the grey lounge pants weren’t anything fancy. Brothel tits would have to wait a moment, because what the fuck was this?!

“Liam??” Killian was going to pass out. Or throw up. Perhaps both. All the colour drained from his face, he didn’t appear to be well, because he was essentially looking at a ghost.

Bigger brother and little sister collided in an embrace, one she didn’t know how to handle - the urge to return the hug overcame the knee-jerk instinct of trap, is this a trap because Kenzi didn’t and couldn’t understand what was going on, what was even happening. He was warm and alive and breathing, and she was flabbergasted and still fairly speechless.

“Li - Killy, it’s - uh, what is -” Oh, look, words! It was a miracle sounds equivalent to nonsensical keyboard smashing didn’t come out instead.

It was then that Regina managed to pull herself from the couch, blanket wrapped around Meara to shield her from the cold blowing in because they were just standing there, door open, talking to someone who sounded very much like -

“What the hell’s going on?” Words didn’t escape her even if the sight was clearly impossible, because the person at the door looked like Liam. Sounded like Liam. And perhaps she was a little more on the jaded side as well, thinking that maybe this was some kind of sick trick and she was wondering whose balls she had to curse for something like this. Noises and coos came from Meara, and the queen’s hold tightened around her protectively. “Killian, this can’t really be - ?”

“Aw, hello!” Liam was just so pleased when little sis threw herself at him - bear hugs were very much his thing, so he put both arms around her and wrapped her up like she was a tiny Russian doll of a present. “Why are you all so surprised to see me? Is it so strange that I’d want to be with my family for Christmas?”

Killian swallowed what felt like sawdust and glass, a few times, before he could even speak proper words. Seemed like his tongue had been coated in cement because he couldn’t bloody well talk. “I don’t - it looks like him?” he said to Regina, flabbergasted cobalt gaze darting back and forth between her and the sight of a cheerful Liam hugging Kenzi. “I remember thinking I wish he could be here, to meet Meara and spend Christmas with us - “

Oh, fuck it all, that wish. It had come true somehow. Now his eyes were watery - please excuse him, he must have dust in there. Did Liam not realise he was dead? Was this actually Liam, or some bizarre spirit form? He looked very human, cheeks flushed, eyes bright. Overall, he was coherent and exactly like...himself.

“You’ve been busy, brother?” he asked, noticing the baby in Regina’s arms. ‘Noticed’ was a bland word though - he looked ready to burst with joy. “Can’t I come in?”

“Ah, right. Yes, of course.” Killian awkwardly cleared his throat and stepped back.

Regina had been around enough to know what that meant, and there was always a chance that wishes would become reality around this time of year - but they never lasted. Last year it was the medical bills, but this was…

“We just didn’t want you catching us making a gingerbread brothel,” blurted the youngest sibling of the three, reminding herself that she didn’t wake up in some funky version of Undercounty because that had been the first and only (not anymore) time she talked to Liam. He passed on, and it both hurt and made the half-heart she had burst with joy at the same time. “But, yeah, come in, it’s chilly.”

Killian was playing along, then so would Kenzi.

Meara flexed her tiny fingers, and her mouth went wide to let out the cutest and squeakiest of yawns - the tension in the room didn’t stop the sleepy smile, and Regina resumed to gently bounce her for that rhythmic soothing. “You can stay as long as you like,” she told Liam, her throat feeling a tad constricted, but she cast a glance over to Killian to decipher what her pirate was even feeling. What he planned to do.

“A gingerbread brothel? That’s clever,” the big(gest) brother chuckled, and indeed, when he stepped further into the house he had to admire what they’d started. So much colour and frosting (and breasts, those too) - he’d never had a candy house like this growing up. Occasionally they’d make gingerbread stout bread though. Speaking of - “You still love gingerbread, don’t you?” Liam asked Killian, his cheeks nearly splitting open because of his warm smile. Genuine. Everything about him was so genuine, Killian could hardly believe this was actually happening.

“Well, yes - “ he stuttered, answering sheepishly. “I was going to make Guinness gingerbread at some point.” Also an Irish tradition, as if it were any big surprise to have alcohol involved somehow. “Let me take your coat, you prat. Like Regina said, you can stay as long as you’d like.”

He slipped out of his coat when instructed, eager to meet the littlest member of the family. “Well, thank you both. I’ll stay long enough to take Kenzi out to do a few things. If we can’t be in Belfast for Christmas, I’ll bring the traditions here - oh, and now who is this?” Referring to the baby, naturally.

“This is Meara,” Killian introduced her. “Your niece. She was born in September.” And to his credit, he managed to get that out without choking up at all.

“Can I?” Liam hoped to hold her, of course. Killian nodded, looking at Regina - he was still at a bit of a loss, but he so far planned to just...go with this. Whatever it was.

As far as Regina could sense with those finely honed magic senses, she didn’t sense anything awry from Liam - no suspicious aura, not even a zing of something off, which is what made accepting this so difficult. And yet he had not the slightest damn clue what was going on, and she wondered if he would realize during his stay that this would last. Saying something about the circumstance seemed like outright cruelty, so with Killian’s bob of approval and without further ado…

“Ah, of course,” she finally answered, cherry-colored lips curved into a small but genuine smile. With care, the little bundle was transferred to Liam, tips on how she liked to be held whispered so the baby would be comfortable, and not a wailing terror in her uncle’s arms. “I take it we can count on you to help to deal with infamous diaper blow outs?”

Hold that pose, kiddos. That polaroid camera Kenzi had been using for their mementos had been nearby, and even if there was still a sufficient amount of what the fuck in regards to what was happening, this was a sight she couldn’t bare to not trap in time.

And maybe it was also a way to test if Liam was like, a vampire or something. “Baby Starfish meets her uncle for the first time - so not letting this moment go. Say cheeeeeese.”

Liam carefully held the precious cargo, with Meara all nestled in the crook of his arm as he rocked her a bit and took in the sight of her with those clear blue peepers of his. The baby seemed so soothed, so serene, her eyelids even getting a bit heavy as she drooled on her fingers while being held by her uncle. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” He looked up happily just as Kenzi was coming at them with a camera - and his smile was wide, teeth a pearly white. Nothing ‘off’ about that photo either, when it developed - but ye gods, the strangeness of Orange County worked in mysterious ways. Killian couldn’t even begin to explain anything.

“Oh, and I helped with plenty of diaper blowouts in my time,” Liam laughed. “Wouldn’t mind at all.”

“Alright, no need to go into detail there,” his younger brother pulled a face. “Well, shall we...finish up this house, then? Actually, why don’t you two do that - darling, we should go make spiked coffee, or, hm...coffee. Yes?” Killian looked at Regina again, and then pointedly at the kitchen. He just needed a moment to work out a plan or something.

Oh, snap. Reflection and all even in the picture - Kenzi waved it through the air to cool it a bit, but there was Liam. Definitely Liam. Fat baby Jesus, someone pinch her. “Aw, yeah, you know what this means. Extra embarrassing stories about Bubba in his wee lad days,” she grinned, though there was a stubborn knot in her throat that didn’t go away no matter how hard she swallowed. “Come on, biggest bro, sit on the couch, you can give me pointers on where I should position the gingerbread hookers.”

No need to tell Kenzi what was amiss; she was the best fit to distract Liam, and eager to do it she was. Because if this was legit? There was no way in hell she was going to ignore this brief but awesome Christmas miracle, thanks.

Coffee it was, then, spiked or unspiked - they’d figure it out once they entered the kitchen, and the moment they were in the clear Regina let out a deep breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. That welcoming facade had lowered to let her actual feelings seep through; mainly surprise, confusion, and a bit concern all over her face. It’s why she immediately had gone to grasp Killian’s hand. “You’re alright?”

In response, Killian sank into one of the chairs at the kitchen table - he’d gone white as a sheet again, though it could be argued that he hadn’t really gotten much colour back at all, as soon as he went to the door and actually saw Liam. He was still grasping Regina’s hand though, and all for the better - because he needed something to tether him to the planet.

“Perhaps?” he responded hoarsely, slumping a little in his seat. “Just shocked, mostly. I wasn’t even thinking of making a wish and having it come true, it was simply one of those errant things - “ A well, that’d be nice sort of thing and not a please let this happen thing. Now that it had, what the fuck was he supposed to do? “...but I ought to enjoy it, shouldn’t I. He’ll be gone again soon enough.”

And that was something that made his stomach twist like a swamp eel caught in a net.

Hospitable beverages could wait. Liam was surely distracted with his niece (this was actually happening), and Kenzi was skilled in the art of distraction - plus, the queen saw the look in her eyes, she wanted to believe it was the brother she barely got to know in death. Regina’s arms went around Killian from behind, hands still laced, and his head tucked underneath her chin.

“Many people wish for this sort of thing, some kind of last chance with someone they lost - I still do, with my father,” she sighed, then kissed his temple. “Enjoy it, Killian. Even if we know it’s not permanent, we’ve got a chance to have something with him that we never thought we would have.”

Meara had her uncle even if she was too young to remember, Kenzi had more than just a couple of hours with the oldest Jones brother, Regina would actually get to bond with who was essentially her brother-in-law.

And Killian could show his brother how well he was doing. Make him proud again. It was the first time they were all together, and possibly the only time they would be.

“I don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself if I didn’t enjoy it. It’d feel like a wasted opportunity,” the Captain sighed, squeezing Regina’s hand. “For Kenzi’s sake too - I’ve always wished she could have known Liam more.” It was a profound ache, it was an emptiness, but now it was a wish coming true too - he wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Perhaps it was best that Liam continued to remain in the dark about his...demise. It seemed like he was here to enjoy the holiday, like Killian had wanted in the deepest, darkest places of his heart where he dared to hold onto concepts like hope. Nothing else, like bringing enlightening messages from the beyond - just a pleasant Christmas, perfect in its simplicity.

“What shall we do, then? While he’s here? Besides let Kenzi introduce him to the world of gothic sparkly Christmas things.” The holiday lights all around were rather lovely too, especially on the houseboat that was J.R. Investigations - Killian was especially looking forward to showing Liam that. It was his business, his professionalism. How surprised his brother would be.

Living here was odd, their experiences completely varied - but it was always a balance of the good and bad, trial by fire, it brought all of them together the moment Killian had stumbled into her zombie-dust covered lawn on that Halloween night. And just one they thought they had seen it all, Liam shows up on their snowy doorstep with a breathing heart and air in his lungs like he belonged.

There was no doubt he did, however. This was his family too.

“I think your sister’s got the pictures covered,” Regina chuckled. Her lips rubbed against his ear, tickling him with light kisses. “But while he’s here? Perhaps all those normal things that are taken for granted. It doesn’t have to be a tour around this entire sordid place, but it could be things like...making a gingerbread brothel, and discussing those aforementioned diaper blow outs you seem so famous for?”

All those ordinary tasks of enjoying each other’s company - or getting on each other’s nerves, as that’s what siblings had a habit of doing. There’d be excursions, of course, dinner someplace nice and little Christmas activities around the area. Whatever thing that involved them being together and remembering this.

Diaper blowouts. How revolting. “I’m certain he’ll tell many stories to embarrass me,” Killian grumbled, but it wasn’t as if he actually minded. Not if it meant Liam was around. “He’ll get to meet Nikolas too.” After all, the baby had a middle name in honour of the deceased (though that was currently a secret) Jones brother, who in his angelic sort of way helped them navigate the perils of the Underworld when going after a certain pirate who needed his soul returned to him.

He tugged on Regina’s arm to kiss her after tilting his face up - and upside down kiss, as much as he with his scruff could manage. “Alright, now that I’m not going to vomit from shock - let’s not spend all day in here hiding away.”

Personally, Regina was looking forward to all those embarrassing tales of Killian in his youth - who else to tell the stories than the one who played the pivotal role in raising him? But of course they’d also introduce him to the extended family, Henry and his butterball brother, Neal and Emma since they were all important aspects of their lives here. Liam would get to see it all, and be included. She’d make sure of that.

That upside down kiss was very much returned as well, strands of that raven-black hair falling to tickle his nose some. “We do have to prepare some drinks, coffee like you said - or welcome him with a coquito, since it’s a tradition with us,” she said, smirking against his mouth. “Think he’d be up for the Puerto Rican version of an eggnog?”

It’d also go well with whatever was left of that gingerbread anyway, whenever they finished constructing that edible whorehouse.

“I will never turn down drinking your coquitos,” Killian replied (suggestively, but of course) and he just couldn’t help making the word sound dirty. Come on - coquito? It really did sound like some Spanish aphrodisiac. It certainly got him in the mood - then again, it really wasn’t difficult to do that when it involved his Queen and her pert, bouncy coquitos. That he wished he could bury his face in, but alas, they had work to do.

Rising from the chair, he went to see what all they had in the cupboards and in the liquor cabinet, to prepare such a festive holiday delight. “Drinks coming up,” he informed the crew in the living room - Liam was still holding Meara, who looked very sleepy and was making quiet snuffling sounds of contentment. “You lot get that whorehouse finished yet?”

Nothing said ‘fine holiday fun’ quite like homage paid to the ladies (and gentlemen) of the night.

“Liam’s judging my Pimp Santa!” Kenzi called from her kneeling spot by the candy-filled coffee table, as she was trying to draw a golden money-chain around the cookie’s neck. It really was one hell of a project, that’s for sure - and outlined in candy on one side of the mini-brothel was the spelling of ‘TITTY PALACE.’ “And he can’t judge unless he himself tries to draw the bling-bling on this thing, it doesn’t look that bad.”

Ah, yes. Never in her life did she ever think someone would be saying ‘Pimp Santa’ within the walls of her home but, no, there it was. Pimp Santa. After the ingredients were mixed, filling the glasses, she sprinkled nutmeg and allspice atop the sweet and milky coconut-rum concoction, and finished them with a stick of cinnamon in each. Regina was a stickler for presentation - classy as fuck, as some might say. “Personally, I’m judging the whole ‘pimp’ aspect of Santa, but…”

Well, she wouldn’t rain on her sister-in-law’s parade as long as Meara wasn’t old enough to repeat words or understand what’s going around her. Regina would prefer if her daughter’s first words were not ‘pimp’ or ‘titty palace,’ thank you.

Alright, then. Seemed they were extra busy in the living room. “How does one even draw bling bling anyway?” Killian wanted to know, and the way his brogue wrapped around the turn of phrase likely was downright hysterical. It was like fitting a square peg in a round hole, really just didn’t belong. “Here, we’ll give him a go at it, then. Perhaps he can draw matching bling on Mrs. Claus.”

He took Meara back from Liam, giving him his hands free to wrap around a glass and contemplate how to best doll up Santa’s better half. With an astounding weave and gold hoop earrings that could hold up a shower curtain, no doubt. “We’ll make them a matching pair, Kenzi,” he nodded oh-so-seriously (yet with a twinkle in his eye) and slid down to join her by the coffee table and the display that looked like a candy store threw up in here.

Killian assumed it would all come together, but what did he know. He was just glad that, for a moment, everything was downright perfect. Bling and all.