tɦɛ iɳquiรitѳʀ (freemarched) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-06-06 08:55:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, !partner thread, derek souza, maxwell trevelyan (the inquisitor) |
Who: Derek & Trevelyan
What: Therapy, and Derek brings along a dream 'gift'
When: Toooooooday
Where: Max's office
Rating/Warnings: Low - talk of group homes and mental illness
Status: Complete
With finals Derek hadn’t made the time to see Dr. Trevelyan. Although he really should have. Especially when he started having dreams. He wasn’t sure how he felt about them. he didn’t want to be a werewolf but so much more made sense. Like how strong he had always been and how he had always enjoyed the outdoors. But the fact that he had to witness paralyzing a guy brought up a lot of difficult memories for him. And honestly he just wanted his psychiatrist’s opinion on it all. It seemed like Dr. Trevelyan was in the same boat as him with the whole dreaming thing. Recently Derek had received his file from the Lyle House. He brought that with him show his psychiatrist. He knew it wasn’t right to share a file with a patient but he was curious to see what Dr. Trevelyan thought and how the dream file compared to his real file. They had been in session for only a few minutes when Derek brought it up. “So these dreams,” Derek began. “I’ve been having them.” People had a lot of misconceptions about therapy, and how the sessions went - many thought that it was simply Max in a cheerleader’s uniform shouting nuggets of wisdom and pep talks through a megaphone, but in all actuality? He didn’t give advice that often. He asked questions instead, and listened - it was an hour or so for the client to focus on themselves, no outside distractions or obligations, all with someone who was unbiased and impartial, and the whole purpose was to get them to approach things with a whole new perspective. To come to important realizations. Of course, being that Max had a few clients who experienced the dream phenomenon, that changed things a little. But he was more than willing to listen to those too, and help guide his clients through the turbulent storms remembering another life seemed to stir up. Derek brought them up first, and Max was pleased to hear it. He wasn’t keeping it inside, that was good - because Trevelyan knew how easily they could eat away at you. “They definitely feel different than standard, run-of-the-mill dreams, don’t they? What are yours about so far?” he asked, facing the younger man (there was no couch in this office, it was just comfy chairs, and Max didn’t take notes either. Only after the session). Derek was a fan of the whole no couch thing. He always felt like he was supposed to be laying down spilling his guts and that had just never felt right. “My standard run-of-the-mill dreams never included supernaturals.” Derek lived in the real world, he dreamt in the real world, that was all changing now. How he thought about things and how he saw them. He didn’t even know why he was so accepting of it all, maybe it was because his dreamself knew about this other world, grew up learning about it from his father. Or maybe it was because he saw so many others willing to accept it, his psychiatrist included so he didn’t feel quite so crazy about it all. “Mostly my childhood,” Derek replied answering the question. He had been in therapy for many years now. He knew how it went and that to truly get the benefits he had to open up. It was the one place where he never held back. Kept things to himself. “Mirrored my real life in a way. Kit adopted me, it was just from a lab instead of a group home. Although I did end up in a group home as a teenager after the incident on the basketball court. That was the same too.” They had a few things in common, Max and Derek - for example, Trevelyan knew about what it was like in a ‘group home’ far too well. In his dreams, the Circle of Ostwick was the unfortunate parallel - mages locked away because something was deemed ‘wrong’ with them, they were dangerous and needed to be sheltered. In a group home, supernaturals were looked at the same way - unfortunately, in today’s world so were younger ones with mental health problems. It was why Max worked so hard to do something about the stigma, and make a difference. “That situation is unfortunately all too common,” he observed. It was easy for those with power, for those who didn’t truly understand what it was like to have to grow up with those abilities, to try to just shove the ‘problems’ away into a corner by deciding what was best for a race, or class, as a whole. “You can’t keep the oppressed down forever, however, so I’m sure that things are only getting started. What kind of supernatural are you?” Derek had been in group home twice in his real life. When he was a kid until he was adopted at five and again as a teenager after the basketball incident. It wasn’t a pleasant experience even though he knew he deserved to be there as a teenager. Same with in the dreams. He wasn’t going to complain about it. Although the Lyle House felt a lot worse than his real life experience. “Feels like it,” Derek agreed. Plus Chloe had warned him there was more to come. “A werewolf apparently.” His tone gave off that he wasn’t happy about it. “My brother and dad are in them,” well now Kit had disappeared but that was beside the point. “And this girl I met here, she made it sound like it was only going to get worse.” Becoming a werewolf? Max could understand why Derek didn’t appear to be thrilled about such a thing - in Thedas, werewolves were dangerous; when they turned, the only concepts that were important to them were hunting, mating, and surviving. While some semblance of their own minds were able to be maintained with practice, it was difficult to change that bestial nature completely - very difficult.. “Getting worse before it gets better seems par the course,” he smiled wryly - an unfortunate fact of most stories, as they unfolded. “But at the very least, you have time to prepare? In case you were to change here? Also, if I can help you, I will. In my own dreamworld, a cure for werewolfism exists - but I wouldn’t try to force it on anyone.” It was also a matter of crafting the potion, which he could probably do with Morrigan’s help - but definitely not his choice. “Yeah,” Derek agreed with a nod. He did have time to prepare. But there was still a problem. “It’s just the ones from my world, they don’t revolve around a full moon. It can happen at anytime.” That was the scary thing. At least if it was a full moon he would only have to be worried one day every month. “A cure for werewolfism?” that certainly caught Derek’s attention. Of course he would want to take it. He didn’t want to be some horrible monster that could possibly hurt people. “Do you think it would work on someone outside your dreams?” Oh, that was different - not having a moon cycle be involved in transformations, that is. At least when it came to standard lore. “They’re sort of transformed in Thedas, via bite I believe - humanoid creatures, that fight with their claws and fangs. And it’s a curse, so they remain in that state all the time as well,” Trevelyan explained; no full moon necessary there either. “Sheer willpower or magic can help them maintain more of their own sense of self, and not give in completely to the wolf, but as for the cure working on those outside the dreams...” He gave it some thought, considering the other potions he’d concocted - things like regeneration and cold and fire resistance wouldn’t be limited to those only from Thedas. “Other potions do, so there’s a good chance? Keep it in mind if you’d like. There are options regardless, if you do happen to change.” No one could blame Derek if he chose to take a cure - no one could blame any werewolf, if it was what they wanted. Some might choose to accept the beast within, others just wanted to live their lives in peace, which Max could understand. “Thanks,” Derek replied. He would certainly be keeping that in mind. “So, uh, something else came from the dreams,” he said pulling out the file from his backpack, and handing it over. “I guess I was wondering if you could tell me how close it is to reality?” Some facts were the same. Like the fact that Kit had taken him in and the incident on the basketball court. However he did have a birth certificate here and his adoption had been real which wasn’t the case in the dreams apparently. And then there was the diagnosis ‘Antisocial personality disorder’ with misplaced anger and bouts of violent outburst. He supposed that was somewhat true. He had never been the most social person, always withdrawn happy to just have Simon and his father. But the only times he had been violent was to protect Simon. His temper though, well that was something he knew he needed to work on. Max wouldn’t have diagnosed Derek with ‘Antisocial Personality Disorder,’ not at all. The problem was that some in the mental health industry were just so eager to slap a label on something and push pills - like that fixed every problem, all of the time. And it didn’t. He also had firsthand experience with being ‘diagnosed’ with something that was inaccurate, which was why he fought so hard to bring about awareness - that sort of thing happened far too often. Now he took the file Derek had been given from his dreams and studied it carefully, dark eyes flicking over the paperwork. It was fascinating, but obviously a lot of bullshit. “They didn’t want to tell you that you were a werewolf?” he asked, though it was more like a statement. “Or try to help. They just hid behind their labels.” As for the file here? It seemed to be a special case - patients really weren’t supposed to see the original files, just copies, which Max had in his filing system in the office. Justifying why a client had a right to see even the copy was also hairy, but being that the situation was dream-related, that tended to throw a lot of the standard ‘rules’ out the window. Besides, he sort of believed that seeing the files was a way to develop trust anyway - and in this case, Derek knew what was on them regardless. He knew his own history. “It seems similar,” he said, pulling the folder from the filing cabinet once he’d moved behind his desk. “Only difference is, here they didn’t rush to diagnose you with a disorder - which in either reality, I don’t believe you have. If it was really Anti-Social Personality disorder there would be repeat patterns exhibited. An isolated incident here and there does not equal a diagnosis. And anger isn’t an emotion that’s good or bad, necessarily - it’s a message that’s conveyed, and managing that anger is about understanding the message and expressing it in a healthy way.” Which is what they were working on, and it took time - but it could be done, without pills even. Shocking. “I’m not sure they know.” But it couldn’t be a coincidence that there was another supernatural there as well right? Plus he just had a feeling about that place. Still Derek didn’t want to jump to conclusions just yet. But yeah he wasn’t too fond of his dream file. He wasn’t violent. At least he didn’t mean to be. The basketball thing had been an accident. And hurting Chloe’s arm in the dreams. He frowned at the memory. He had always been strong even in real life, but he couldn’t seem to control his strength in the dreams. Derek nodded as Max went on feeling a little bit better about himself. He was pretty sure if that had been his diagnosis here someone would have told him so he could know what he was dealing with. But that had never happened. He just had some issues with his anger but he was much better at controlling it now. “I guess you just confirmed my assumption that something is wrong in that place.” Max laid the files out, side by side in their folders, for Derek to compare and contrast if he wanted. Really, he felt terrible that the guy had been so young - he was older now, obviously, but still - and put into a place that was clearly just crooked. “Something’s definitely wrong with the place, not necessarily with you,” he said. “But like I said before, you can’t keep people down for very long, pulling the wool over their eyes like that. The truth will come out and hopefully you’ll escape from where you are now.” He considered it a prison - just like the ‘group home’ he’d been sent to, by his own parents. Just like the Circle Towers. There was very little difference - it was freedom and choice robbed from people who couldn’t help what they were. Whether that be supernaturals or mages. “Thanks,” Derek said as he looked at both files. He knew it wasn’t standard practice but then these weren’t exactly normal circumstances. He briefly wonder if any of Dr. Trevelyan’s other patients received dream files. Probably considering there seemed to be a lot of people with dreams. His psychiatrist included. “You say there are potions in your dreams. What else are you dreams like?” Yeah Derek was the patient but he was curios about other people’s dreams as well. Besides he had already gotten everything off his chest that he needed to. Trevelyan didn’t mind the question - he tried not to bring up tidbits about his own self in sessions, because that wasn’t focusing on the client, but since Derek had asked and was genuinely curious, well. There was no harm in it. “It’s very medieval,” he said, with a light chuckle, sitting back down in his chair. “Thedas actually mirrors Europe in a lot of ways - the countries and their histories mimic each other, which is interesting to study now. But the world is very difficult to live in, for all classes and races - it’s not a happy world, there aren’t many moments of safety. In my dreams specifically, I lead an Inquisition with the purpose of stopping a certain Darkspawn hellbent on destroying the southern part of Thedas. Throughout that, everything changes - we all find a new family in each other.” That was the short story, though it summed things up well enough. But he never would have guessed that very unlikely amalgamation of weirdos would become his whole world, for that long, all those utterly brilliant oddballs. Max hadn’t wanted to let go, in a sense - almost didn’t want the dreams to end. “Sounds complicated,” and dangerous. “Why do I have the feeling that the majority of these dreams are bad? Well minus the finding new family part.” For Dr. Trevelyan at least. Derek was perfectly content with the family he already had. Just Simon and Kit. He didn’t really need anyone else. At least he didn’t think so. “Do you think you’ll get a happy ending?” “A majority seem to be somewhat on the dour side, but there are moments of good as well, just like in any life - you just have to hang onto those,” Max replied, and he definitely saw the bits here and there that were motivation to keep going. It was the little things, for him - the endless games of Wicked Grace in Skyhold’s tavern, the laughter, the stories shared and lessons learned. Sera’s pranks and Cole’s eerily accurate observations and the stolen moments with Dorian. What could be considered a happy ending though, well, he wasn’t so certain. Personally, he could see the happiness - it wasn’t running off into the sunset, but there were good things that came from it. “It definitely left at a cliffhanger, so I guess we’ll see,” he smiled. “The forces of evil or whatever you want to call them have been defeated, and everyone moved on to be successful in their own endeavors. Though it’s obvious that there’s more work to do.” Thanks to a certain elven God ready to finish what Corypheus started and destroy the world. “But...sometimes you kind of have to make your own happy endings too.” Derek had no idea how his dreams were going to turn out. He could tell they were only going to get worse before they got better. If they got better. But Dr. Trevelyan was right. He had to make his own happy ending. At least he could control this life, it seemed like there was no control over the dreams. “I guess all we can do is make the best of the life we have control over.” |