Elizabeth doesn't know who she's becoming (manylighthouses) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-03-03 13:46:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, anna marie (rogue), booker dewitt, elizabeth comstock, lina inverse |
Who: Lina, Elizabeth, Rogue, Booker
What: Elizabeth's dreams are deadly.
When: This morning, early.
Where: Their house.
Rating/Warnings: R for dark subject matter. Triggers for blood, brief character death.
Status: Complete.
Nothing felt abnormal when she woke up. Light streamed through the curtains, sun already up high and bright to let her know it was sometime after 8am already. Guess, the honorary four-legged roommate that liked to gift everyone with dead beatles was already up and at it, making affectionate biscuits on Lina’s pillow. Purr, purr, purr, wake up bitch was probably what the damn cat was saying. You know, if she could speak.
“Get a job,” she told the cat with an offensive squint and rolled over to get comfy again. Lina had all intentions of pressing the ‘resume’ button on her sleep until she caught a sight of crimson. First her eyes had to blink a few times to adjust and clear up, and then she jolted up from the bed in alert because what the fuck was--
“Elizabeth?” she breathed. The girl on the neighboring mattress was stiff as a corpse with blood and bruising - Lina noted the eye injury, she’d seen it before, she had healed it before, why the fuck was it-- “Elizabeth?! Wake--wake up!” Legs swung off her bed and she quickly pounced onto the makeshift bed they’d made for her. Hands to her shoulders, Lina shook and shook. “Wake up! Wake up!”
There was no response, not even movement, and that’s when Lina noticed the lack of breath. Her ear pressed against her chest for a heartbeat. Nothing. Two fingers against her neck, two fingers against her wrist, just to make sure her fucking head wasn’t playing tricks on her. Nothing. “No. Nonono. No. NO!” Panic was her first reaction, the kick of instinct, with her eyes tearing up and her throat constricting. “Booker! BOOKER!”
It was a screech that could almost wake the dead and obliterate mirrors, mixed in with desperation and a heart shattering wail. She was still warm and maybe-- maybe--
Fuck it. Lina tilted Elizabeth’s head back, pinched her nose, opened her mouth, and breathed into her. Then came the chest compressions, adding as much weight and force to them as she could. She’d break a rib, several of them, if she goddamn had to - if it meant that her heart would somewhat reset and bring her back to life. Breathe in. Pound on chest. Repeat.
Booker rolled out of bed and landed hard on the floor. He groaned and picked himself up, and that's when he really caught the panic in Lina's voice. He barreled into Lina's room, a flame going in his hand. It went out, along with most of the air in his lungs when he saw Elizabeth. She looked somehow a little older, but frail and lifeless at the same time. He looked to the window but it was closed. No break in. They'd have to fake a break in, just to avoid unwanted questions.
Blood pounded in his ears, and sound became hollow and distant. Ice in his veins. He had power. He could burn a man alive or electrocute someone but he couldn't heal worth a damn. Was this where it all ended up? Did Elizabeth get a happy ending? He didn't even know if getting to raise her as his own had even happened.
Maybe he should stop standing there and call an ambulance. His feet moved of their own accord, and he dialed numbly.
Rogue had been sleeping like the dead. Then she wasn't. She'd always had a hair trigger ability to wake at the drop of a hat no matter how dead tired she was. She sat up, eyes wide. What the... She scrambled out of bed and took off towards the sounds. She was the last there but she almost fell over her own feet getting in the door. "Shit shit shit" she looked around, she couldn't help Lina without gloves on.
Though Lina was determined to move heaven and earth to get Elizabeth to wake up, she didn't appear to be responding to the CPR. She lingered, somewhere between life and death, still stuck in whatever dream event had triggered all of this.
There was a moment in which Lina had to pause, wipe her teary eyes, clear her nose with a pitiful sniffle and push her hair away. It felt like the air had been getting sucked out of her at every time she did the compressions, and every moment that passed in which she didn't open her eyes, didn't breathe, and stayed dead beneath her.
Part of her reigstered the arrival of the rest but her focus didn't waver. "Don't you dare, Lizzie," Lina choked out with resolute anger, pushing down against her again. "Don't you dare!"
It was taking every ounce of strength mustered to not burst into more tears. To not collapse on her and scream because she wasn't about to fucking believe she had just lost her little sister.
But Lina was realizing that the more she did this, the longer she stayed dead.
So she tried not to scream.
Booker ran a hand through his hair, then dug his fingers in hard. "Elizabeth, come back to me. Come back to me, baby."
Could she hear him? Did it matter. What could he possibly do but stare and panic and despair. He'd just got her back. They were making things work. "Come back to me, Anna DeWitt!"
Rogue wrapped her hands in shirts that were around and moved Lina out of the way. She'd had fresh training thanks to the cafe. She was calmer, but just so. She took over compressions, making sure her bare skin didn't come any where near Lizzies. "Lina check, I can't touch her" she was hoping fresh non panicked help would do some good.
Another few tense seconds passed by as Rogue went through the motions of CPR and Lina anxiously had her fingers against Elizabeth's neck. Then, there it was - a heartbeat. Barely there at first, but growing increasingly stronger.
Elizabeth let out a sort of wheezing cough, then groaned a bit. Everything was pounding and she felt like the floor might actually be spinning underneath her. Was she still in Rapture? Was she on that plane? It was all a blur. "Ngh."
There it was, the breath of air. A sound of fucking life. So much better than the silence and Lina felt like she could finally breath, the feeling of oxygen stinging her lungs. “Holy shit,” she whispered, voice croaked. This was not how the fuck she was supposed to wake up today. This was not how anyone should wake up.
But she helped tilt Elizabeth’s head up some. “You’re okay,” Lina said, repeating it over and over. “You’re okay.” Covered in blood and with a dinged up eye again, but she was alive and...that’s all that counted.
She moved off the mattress and went to the bathroom, retrieving a damp towel and a first aid kit.
Booker felt feeling go back into his limbs and the dull roar in his head grew much quieter. He rubbed at his forehead, and edged closer to the bed, then fell to his knees next to it. "Hey.. how you feelin'?" He put his hand over Elizabeth's, his voice less steady than he wanted it to be.
Rogue sat back on her heels. She sighed in relief then watched. She couldn't ready help with the fixing up parts. She didn't want to risk it knowing she'd just come back to life. Rogue would not endanger her any. "Welcome back."
"Oh my god..." Elizabeth trailed off. Her head was still pounding and things were still kind of swimming before her eyes, but it was dimly coming back to her that there was a real world that existed, with her big sisters and... And Booker. Booker was still alive, here.
What was going on? She'd been hurt, the dreams must have bled over somehow. She could taste the blood in her mouth, "Did I just...? Oh my god."
“Yeah, oh my god,” was Lina’s repeat of utter disdain, scowl and all despite the tear-drenched face, and she hovered over Elizabeth to start at cleaning the blood. Then she’d get a better idea of what was hurt and what wasn’t. “Don’t do that again.”
She sounded mad, but it a knee-jerk reaction of almost losing someone close to her. And even though the OC worked in mysterious ways, she wasn’t going to assume that Lizzie would have pulled a Logan and rise from the death in a month. Sometimes when people died, they stayed dead. And that wasn’t a gamble she was willing to play when it came to the lives of her friends.
“Rogue and I pounded you pretty hard with chest compressions. Anything feel broken?”
Booker was pretty sure his hands were shaking, even the one on Elizabeth’s, but he couldn’t actually stop that. “Scared the shit out of us….” He didn’t sound mad. He sounded like he was in that place between numb and feeling too much where vomiting was sounding like a really good idea right now.
Rogue brought in their super sized med kit, just in case. "Had us worried darlin, sorry about any broken ribs, really hard to judge how much pressure I'm using wrapped up like I was. Rather you alive, though."
It was hard to process everything that was going on around her. Elizabeth squeezed Booker's hand to get it to stop shaking. Her own hand seemed to be trembling a bit, and she felt a little overwhelmed.
Her free hand ran over her chest quickly, trying to feel for anything out of place. Then it touched at the top of her head where Lina was cleaning. That's where he'd hit her with a wrench, and it still hurt, "I think my ribs are alright... they ache, but nothing too bad. It's mostly my head."
"You guys brought me back?" Her hand squeezed against Booker's even more, and she drew a very deep breath, then let it out, "I... thank you so much, I'm sorry."
Well, it’s not like Elizabeth went to bed last night with the decision of ‘I’m going to die in the morning,’ so the apology was moot. But now that the panic had subsided, Lina was met with a sudden wave of exhaustion that made her realize she didn’t take friends dying fairly well.
“Can you take over cleaning her up?” she offered the towel to Rogue - Booker was more suited to hold her hand and soothe her. Token father-daughter moment, of course. “I’ll get her some water.”
Booker moved his hand so he could squeeze at Elizabeth's even more. He felt hollowed out and as exhausted as Lina looked. It was like all of them had almost died a little right along with Elizabeth. "It's okay, honey. It's okay."
Rogue had a momentary look of panic before she took the towel and worked on cleaning her up more. Being extra careful. "Don't apologize darlin, ain't like you did it on purpose." She smiled softly, rogue was a little more versed on friends dying, so she'd bury the feelings. She wanted to make sure Elizabeth was okay.
"I thought... I thought this was coming, actually, and I should have warned everyone," She admitted. Her head was pounding and it still felt like things were swimming around a bit, but she felt a lot more coherent.
"He hit me with a wrench. I think I knew he was going to kill me the second I gave him what he wanted..." Elizabeth frowned a bit, and grimaced, "It's over for her, the dream me. It's done. I don't know what that means. Am I supposed to be here?"
The spitfire of a midget came back at the end of Elizabeth’s words, a glass of water in hand (she’d also snuck downstairs for a shot of something, okay, it was just that kind of morning). “You’re here anyway, and this is where you’re exactly staying,” Lina contributed with a huff, her face not so tear-stained anymore.
Now she felt a little more capable of conducting a recovery spell. It just required concentration and steady hands, and she felt like she could do that now. “Sit up. Take this. I’ll help with your face.”
Booker wished she’d brought back a shot for the rest of them. He ran his free hand through his hair, the other hand all but clinging to Elizabeth’s. Her words echoed his own thoughts, about both of them. What did any of this mean? Were they even supposed to exist? “Who hit you?” If he ever showed his face...
Rogue Sat back on her heels, watching quietly. She knew she'd been a poor friend, she really had no idea what was going on. But she was here of they needed her to be.
"Atlas..." Elizabeth murmured. She held still for a few seconds as Lina cast her spell, and sipped at the water she'd been given. The spell definitely helped with the aching and her vision started to clear up. But she was left feeling scattered, and as her head healed up she began to realise why.
"...I'm starting to remember things... but some of it's not how I thought it was," She said, with a scowl. Before, she'd had to put pieces together and some things were shrouded from her. Now, it suddenly felt like pieces were starting to come into place that simply hadn't been there before.
Some of that was good - Elizabeth could see now that there'd only been one other Comstock she'd been so intent on killing. She wasn't half the murderer she thought she was. But the rest of it... the rest of it was chilling. She set down her glass of water and pushed her hands against her eyes, "I don't think I can handle this."
No. No. She wasn’t putting herself down about that this; no way in hell Lina would let her. “Hey. You’re alive, right?” she began, one hand brushing against the dark strands of her friend’s hair. “You’re in a room with your own dysfunctional version of a family.” There were blood bonds and bonds that came from the heart, and they all had each other’s backs if they were in trouble. “You don’t have to deal with this alone. No one needs to deal with everything alone.”
That went to Rogue, to Booker, too.
“We’re a fucked up family, but we’re a family.” The three of them were a large part of the reason he was even still alive. Neena was another part of that. But Elizabeth. If he lost Elizabeth….
"We are, aren't we?" Elizabeth said, looking from Rogue, to Booker, and then to Lina. But for Booker's sake, she'd have to face this without him at least. The truth would utterly destroy him. She wasn't sure that it wouldn't destroy her, either.
"I think I need..." She glanced back to Rogue, "Can you cook us up some comfort food? And that coffee you make, it's always better than when I make it myself."
Then she looked at Booker, "Could you go with her? Lina can help me clean up but I'd feel better about it if it was just us girls. We don't need you hovering, okay?"
Booker was loathe to leave her. He still felt dizzy and sick, and he didn’t want to let Elizabeth out of his sight. He breathed hard out of his nose. “... Okay. Okay.” He got to his feet, then took Rogue’s arm. “Ready to go?”
Rogue smiled a bit. "Now that is something I can do. Good coffee will make the world seem better." She looked at Book and nodded, coffee and comfort food were on the menu. She wasn’t good with the comforting unless it came with food. Food was something she could handle. Although she gave the pair a look, like what? i’m not a girl? but she smiled, it didn’t really matter. She could whip up the best comfort food she could muster for them.
Now that they were alone, Lina let out a sigh that left her wanting to crawl back to bed. But there was blood to clean up - some was smeared on her hands, the pillow was soaked in it. They had to change the sheets, clean her up more.
But she wasn’t stupid. There was something Elizabeth was keeping close and guarded, and with Booker not in the room, she gave her a look. “What the hell happened? I don’t think Booker had any idea you were going to die at some point in the dreams.”
Excluding Rogue from the conversation hadn't been out of any ill will on Elizabeth's part. When she caught her friend's look she resolved to make it up to her later, then turned back towards Lina.
"It... isn't the first time that I die. But it was all a jumble in my head and now I'm seeing it so much more clearly. This time, it's for good. I'm the only one left. The only Elizabeth Comstock. And he's... basically the last Booker. All of those infinite worlds have collapsed."
She was pretty sure her own powers had collapsed with them. At least, the portals. Vigors were something a little different.
Lucky Lina, she’d been around Elizabeth and Booker enough to kind of be able to follow the twists and turns the dreams had taken them through - the multiple versions, the different stories, the two of them being the constant parts in them.
With her face a little more patched up, she took the towel again and started dabbing the rest of the blood off. “So...it’s over? Your...dreams? If you’re the only one left…”
"I think it's over, yes." So very over. And in such a violent way. "Booker and I have had dreams of a time where he... gets to raise me. When he doesn't sell me off or give me away. But that timeline, Comstock comes anyway. He tries to steal me, as a baby. Little Anna DeWitt. I went there, to that timeline, after drowning Booker."
Elizabeth's voice was rough. If she'd been in any other state, she might have started crying. But she couldn't cry, not yet. "The portal between Booker and Comstock closes on her head. Instead of my pinky. I watched it happen. He can't know, Lina. He just can't."
Legs pulled up on the mattress, Lina crossed them in some sort of comfy Indian-style fashion as she let all that sink in. The imagery in itself was gruesome, the wiggle of her nose the only expression of utter horror. Otherwise, she just looked very serious. “I won’t tell him,” she promised. “But he’ll find out his own way. So do you want him to dream of it, or do you plan on breaking the news to him as gently as you can one day?”
Christ, good thing she wasn’t beheaded in real life. Nothing anyone could do if someone literally lost their head, and the thought made Lina’s stomach kind of queasy.
"I don't know. Definitely not today, not after all this." Elizabeth picked up the wet cloth and dabbed it at her head. She could still feel the blood on her, and she realised that it would probably take more than a wet cloth to wash it all off.
"I guess I'll have to, one day. But I'm scared that that'll be the day he finally decides that it's not worth it anymore. And I can't live without him. In the... dreams, I missed him so much that I actually manifested a sort of... imaginary friend Booker. To talk to. I know that sounds crazy. I think I might have had some kind of psychotic break at some point."
“Give Booker a little more credit than that,” Lina said, sighing heavily. “I think if you prepare him for it, he’ll--he’ll take it better than it taking him by complete surprise, you know?” Though she also didn’t really know if he was the type to not want ‘spoilers,’ but this was kind of a serious thing. And she wasn’t all that excited to see his reaction if it caught him by surprise. He had a more delicate emotional state than his daughter.
And both were gunning for the ‘mental instability’ award, because hallucinating an imaginary Booker sounds like the Elizabeth on the other side sure as hell went off the deep end. Christ on a stripper pole. “You’re still in love with him there too, aren’t you?” Strangest words to say out loud, it didn’t roll off the tongue well, but...they were said.
Elizabeth let out a sigh, "More than anything. I think we've both finally accepted it for what it is, though. Me and the other Elizabeth. Or we had before she died. He was our first everything and it's hard to let that go. But I think I can still love him as a friend instead of... something else. Since that something else is never, ever happening. Nor should it."
“But you’re right,” She added, while finally trying to get up off the mattress she’d been sleeping on. She swayed a bit as she got to her feet, but seemed otherwise okay after everything, “I should give him more credit. And I don’t want him to dream this, not without a warning.”
‘First everything.’ Okay, better not think about what all that implied - it wasn’t important, wasn’t the focus of what was going on. That was hers and Booker’s business alone and like promised, she’d kept silent about it. Following her example, Lina climbed off the mattress too, ready to catch Elizabeth should she sway and almost teeter over. “Sometimes it’s better to...soften the blow, or something.”
It was a delicate, tricky situation. Lina understood ‘complicated,’ she’d been dealing with that herself in regards to the Claire Bible’s revelations - but hers and Booker’s ‘complicated’ was very different. Messy would probably be the better word. “Go take a shower, stinky. You’re a vampire’s snack right now.”
That made Elizabeth laugh. It was easy to forget what had just happened a few minutes ago. She thought it was probably good for everyone to put it behind them as quickly as possible. "Alright, Alright. And then we can clean this mess up and eat whatever delicious smelling thing Rogue's making. A nice family breakfast is probably just what we all needed."