InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "hoagies and grinders"

Wade Wilson rides the Oliphaunt (crimson_nutcase) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2012-07-03 18:33:00

Entry tags:

!complete, pinkie pie, wade wilson (deadpool)

Nanananannnananaanaaaaaaa
Who: Wade and Pinkie Pie
What: I don't know yet. Chaos? Roller coaster surfing?
Where: A theme park of some kind!
When: Today!
Status: Complete!
Rating: It's Wade and Pinkie Pie. Hide your children. PG-13 for naughty animal balloons!

Blood. It's color was red outside the body. Red was a color Wade liked. He wore it a lot. He got to see it a lot, especially when he took jobs that involved guns and violence. Other people seemed to die when that happened, and parts of Wade watched objectively while he brought extreme JUSTICE to the bad guys.

Those had been bad guys right? He was pretty sure they were bad guys.

Only bad guys would have three-headed dogs for logos.

"That's right my friend!" Wade was washing his hands. He had to make sure the red was all gone. He could sully himself all he liked, but Tacos and Princesses didn't need to see that. He tightened a bandage around his arm, slapped on some aftershave, and then pulled a shirt on. He strutted out to the other room, where the prisoner from last night was sitting. He'd even treated the man's wounds!

You can't get information from a dead man, Wade.

"You're right brain." He leaned forward, slapping the man in the face, "Wakey wakey! I'm going out. Try not to bleed to death, Spot will be coming along shortly to have a chat."

He straightened and turned on the tv, "I love you Tinky Winky."

Wade headed out to meet with Pinkie Pie, leaving the man to watch Teletubbies, and scream behind his gag. Because Teletubbies.

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smilesmilesmile
2012-07-04 01:38 am UTC (link)

Pinkie was having the BEST DAY EVER! There were explosions and cotton candy which she ate an absolute ton of, and then her new friend Wade was going to take her to go and see more fireworks!

She LOVED fireworks!

And she was really starting to like Wade. Sure, he was little crazy, but who wasn't? Definately not Pinkie, that's who!

She was wearing a little pink dress instead of her usual candy girl ridiculously huge pants. He liked pink, right?

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crimson_nutcase
2012-07-04 01:43 am UTC (link)

Her vajayajay is practically showing in that!

"Shh, don't ruin a good thing, brain."

But. Vajayjay.

"Iknowisn'titawesome."

But

"SHH" Wade smacked himself upside the head, stumbled, and then shook his head to clear it. They'd found a place that had carnival games and rides. He had every intention of eating enough cotton candy and going on enough rides to puke up the Mona Lisa.

That doesn't even make sense inside our head.

"Sure it does." He stepped up to one of those shooting games, slapped down some quid, and proceeded to hit every target with a distressing amount of accuracy.

He then reached up, plucked the biggest, pinkest stuffed animal, and held it out to Pinkie.

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smilesmilesmile
2012-07-04 01:46 am UTC (link)

It wasn't that short.

Yes it was.

Pinkie practically squealed, giving the stuffed animal (a cross between a unicorn and a pig, weirdly) a huge hug. "Thank you thank you thank you!" She bounced up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

For all the talk about lockpicking, none of that had happened yet. Maybe her door had been all open or something and he didn't need to? Still, Pinkie really did think he was just a big sweetie.

"You're the best, Wade."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

crimson_nutcase
2012-07-04 01:48 am UTC (link)

Frankly Wade's luck with women was pretty abysmal. Oh the 'hi, I'm dying' line had worked on occasion, but that was too easy. It was like baiting a fish hook with the most scrumptious worm available. Thus. Boring.

And it got old when you didn't start actually you know dying

"I'm getting there!"

To Pinkie, he said, "Darn tooting! Lets go on a ride and throw up." He grabbed her hand, and dragged her towards one of those spinny gravity rides. The ones that don't strap you in.

Because he wanted to do a handstand.

"How's stuff?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-07-04 01:51 am UTC (link)
	"Good! I dropped a record last week." It had already hit the top 10 on the EDM chart, but Pinkie never bragged about that. David, Joel and her tended to flip the spots between them, and honestly Pinkie just liked making the sound. "Maaaaaaaaaaaaan, I wish I could do a handstand." She tilted her head. "How about you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-07-04 01:54 am UTC (link)
	"Did it break?" Wade glanced at Pinkie, a grin spreading on his face, "Once it's fully inverted, handstand. One who chickens out first has to uhm..." Now's your chance! Wade narrowed his eyes as he thought. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-07-04 02:12 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie looked up at him with the saddest of expressions. "I don't know hoooooooooooooow." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-07-04 02:14 am UTC (link)
	"You don't know how to do a hand stand? Why, you stand on your hands!" And Wade did so, right in line, his shirt falling over his head and revealing muscles, scars, and a bandage that probably needed to be changed at this point. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

smilesmilesmile
2012-07-04 02:18 am UTC (link)

Pinkie tilted her head, taking mental inventory. On one hand, muscles. Lots of them, and very, very nice to look at. But so many scars. She didn't like the idea of him being all hurt since the marks were totally over important areas.

And how had he hurt himself?

Still, she tried to stand on her head and found she actually managed it okay. Until she knocked over right into him. Maybe a dress had been a bad idea.

	crimson_nutcase 2012-07-04 03:22 am UTC (link)
	"This one time, in band camp, the haunted house scarred me," Wade said, gurgling, then ran for the nearest trash can. It was by far the most colorful puke he'd ever upchucked, and he started at it in rapt fascination. It was a rainbow of colors and textures, and was like fine art. "Wow..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-07-04 03:29 am UTC (link)
	"This is..this is..." Wade took out his phone and took pictures, which he promptly sent to his list. His list included Neena, Wisdom, Shepard, and several others. "Now you mentioned something about roller coasters?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smilesmilesmile 2012-07-04 03:30 am UTC (link)
	Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, let's do that! I mean, if you throw up again we can try to sell it to an art museum or something!" She jumped on his back, which was impressive since Pinkie was a lot shorter than Wade. "Onward!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crimson_nutcase 2012-07-04 03:34 am UTC (link)
	Wade reached behind him, maybe rubbing a little at Pinkie's thighs as he adjusted her into a more comfortable position before he started running. He made galloping noises and trotted as he went. All they needed was an unladen swallow! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)