InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Tweak owns me!"

Agent Washington (completelysane) wrote in valarcomm,
@ 2015-11-18 09:25:00

Entry tags:

agent washington, antoine triplett, gale hawthorne, leliana, lina inverse, maes hughes, stefan salvatore

I understand now why my dreams have been so confusing.

The Director had been torturing the Alpha A.I. to get it to split apart so he could implant Freelancer agents with the fragments. The fragment I got - Epsilon - was its memory. So since the Alpha was made from the Director, not only did I get all of his memories; the ones of loosing his wife and being obsessed with her death, if he could have saved her and wanting to save her, I got to experience all the torture the Alpha had gone through as well.

So last night I was just lucky enough to dream about when they implanted me with Epsilon and got to relive all that shit again, this time nice and concentrated.

I woke this morning not knowing who or where I was and I panicked. Fortunately, Kyu was with me and I think I'm doing better now.

I'm sorry if this is a little rambling, I'm still not quite myself, but I wanted to make note that I'd figured it out. I’m not going crazy, I’m not more than one person and hopefully that’ll be the end of all this confusing shit.

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	wouldberipper 2015-11-18 04:51 pm UTC (link)
	I'm glad you've got some answers, man. These Dreams aren't nice to any of us, but at least we're all in it together? Is there anything I can do to help? Buy you a beer sometime this week? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	completelysane 2015-11-18 04:55 pm UTC (link)
	I should have made the connection sooner, I could have been prepared for this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wouldberipper 2015-11-18 04:58 pm UTC (link)
	Sometimes the shit in our Dreams eludes us. You can't blame yourself for not seeing things in advance. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

completelysane
2015-11-18 05:05 pm UTC (link)

I should have, Salvatore. All the pieces were right there in front of me: The Director's plans, what was going on with the Alpha, what the fragments were. Just because the dream version of me is a willfully blind idiot doesn't mean I have to be.

Not that I think it would have made much of a difference in the end. It isn't as though I could have stopped it from happening.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wouldberipper 2015-11-24 03:38 am UTC (link)
	It wouldn't have made any difference if your dreams are anything like mine. I get in them and this world doesn't exist anymore. All I have is what I've been given, and it's not really even me... how could it be, without my memories and experiences? I suppose "don't blame yourself" was a stupid thing to say. What I mean is... try not to let it get you down? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	completelysane 2015-11-24 07:20 pm UTC (link)
	I know what you're saying and I appreciate it, don't think I don't. It's just...really a lot to process and I'm too fucking tired for this shit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wouldberipper 2015-12-01 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry you're going through it. It's a lot to swallow. Let me know whatever I can do to help. Anything at all. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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