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Agent Washington ([info]completelysane) wrote in [info]valarcomm,
@ 2015-11-18 09:25:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:agent washington, antoine triplett, gale hawthorne, leliana, lina inverse, maes hughes, stefan salvatore



I understand now why my dreams have been so confusing.

The Director had been torturing the Alpha A.I. to get it to split apart so he could implant Freelancer agents with the fragments. The fragment I got - Epsilon - was its memory. So since the Alpha was made from the Director, not only did I get all of his memories; the ones of loosing his wife and being obsessed with her death, if he could have saved her and wanting to save her, I got to experience all the torture the Alpha had gone through as well.

So last night I was just lucky enough to dream about when they implanted me with Epsilon and got to relive all that shit again, this time nice and concentrated.

I woke this morning not knowing who or where I was and I panicked. Fortunately, Kyu was with me and I think I'm doing better now.

I'm sorry if this is a little rambling, I'm still not quite myself, but I wanted to make note that I'd figured it out. I’m not going crazy, I’m not more than one person and hopefully that’ll be the end of all this confusing shit.



(Post a new comment)


[info]traps
2015-11-18 04:47 pm UTC (link)
I never thought YOU were going crazy, I just thought your dreams were some messed up shit. Because a person should not have this many memories that aren't theirs. But another piece of the puzzle is a decent thing to have.

You need anything?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Private
[info]completelysane
2015-11-18 04:58 pm UTC (link)
I thought I was going crazy. Seriously considered it once or twice. Having something to do with lingering head trauma or whatever. I don't know.

Right now I'm just fucking exhausted. Sleep isn't exactly appealing, however.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private
[info]traps
2015-11-18 05:05 pm UTC (link)
It seems the natural conclusion to draw - and all this shit isn't helping either. But you're not.

Maybe take a cat nap here or there. Throughout all this, you have to at least take care of yourself. And yeah, I sound like someone's mom, but I chalk it up to the Hello Kitty toaster in my kitchen and the cookies I've been assigned to bake at Mellarky today.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private
[info]completelysane
2015-11-18 05:10 pm UTC (link)
Right. Completely sane.

I'll try. Maybe. Kyu's hovering around the apartment. I don't want to put her through that again.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private - [info]traps, 2015-11-18 05:21 pm UTC
Private - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 05:24 pm UTC
Private - [info]traps, 2015-11-18 05:27 pm UTC
Private - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 05:43 pm UTC
Private - [info]traps, 2015-11-18 05:44 pm UTC
Private - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 06:05 pm UTC
Private - [info]traps, 2015-11-18 06:07 pm UTC
Private - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 06:10 pm UTC

[info]wouldberipper
2015-11-18 04:51 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad you've got some answers, man. These Dreams aren't nice to any of us, but at least we're all in it together?

Is there anything I can do to help? Buy you a beer sometime this week?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]completelysane
2015-11-18 04:55 pm UTC (link)
I should have made the connection sooner, I could have been prepared for this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wouldberipper
2015-11-18 04:58 pm UTC (link)
Sometimes the shit in our Dreams eludes us. You can't blame yourself for not seeing things in advance.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]completelysane
2015-11-18 05:05 pm UTC (link)
I should have, Salvatore. All the pieces were right there in front of me: The Director's plans, what was going on with the Alpha, what the fragments were. Just because the dream version of me is a willfully blind idiot doesn't mean I have to be.

Not that I think it would have made much of a difference in the end. It isn't as though I could have stopped it from happening.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]wouldberipper, 2015-11-24 03:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-24 07:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wouldberipper, 2015-12-01 08:27 pm UTC
pm
[info]dragonspooker
2015-11-18 05:20 pm UTC (link)
Memoryception. Is that a thing? I guess it is now.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

pm
[info]completelysane
2015-11-18 05:23 pm UTC (link)
Memories within memories? Yeah, looks like it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pm
[info]dragonspooker
2015-11-18 05:25 pm UTC (link)
Your dreams have a way of making already complicated matters into even more complicated matters, but at least you got an explanation. Congratulations on being one person.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pm
[info]completelysane
2015-11-18 05:45 pm UTC (link)
I don't really feel like one person. There's too many conflicting thoughts and memories, a lot of which aren't even mine.

But at least I understand why now.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pm - [info]dragonspooker, 2015-11-18 05:47 pm UTC
pm - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 06:07 pm UTC
pm - [info]dragonspooker, 2015-11-18 06:12 pm UTC
pm - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 06:13 pm UTC
pm - [info]dragonspooker, 2015-11-18 06:14 pm UTC
pm - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 06:16 pm UTC
pm - [info]dragonspooker, 2015-11-18 06:18 pm UTC
pm - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 06:29 pm UTC
pm - [info]dragonspooker, 2015-11-18 06:40 pm UTC
pm - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 07:03 pm UTC

[info]divineslefthand
2015-11-18 05:21 pm UTC (link)
Seconding Gale's sentiment. Do you need anything? That is quite a bit to take in.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]completelysane
2015-11-18 05:36 pm UTC (link)
I don't actually know?

Like I told Gale, I'm exhausted but don't want to try sleep again right now. Kyu's here.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]divineslefthand
2015-11-18 05:42 pm UTC (link)
It seems like a bit to process, so wanting to be with the person you love may be the best therapy until it is all sorted out.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]completelysane
2015-11-18 06:09 pm UTC (link)
I'm thankful she's here. I don't know what would have happened if she hadn't been here to calm me down and...basically tell me who I am.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]divineslefthand, 2015-11-18 06:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 06:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]divineslefthand, 2015-11-18 06:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 06:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]divineslefthand, 2015-11-18 06:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 07:02 pm UTC

[info]katoustheshit
2015-11-18 06:32 pm UTC (link)
You think things'll actually start getting a bit better? 'Cause actually getting implanted with this shit kinda seems to me like shit's gonna get worse.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]completelysane
2015-11-18 06:52 pm UTC (link)
In the very least I don't think I'll be having disjointed dreams anymore.

[Private]

But no, I don't think they will.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private
[info]katoustheshit
2015-11-18 06:55 pm UTC (link)
I guess the lack of disjointedness is probably a good thing.

Well, just so long as you don't start getting your hopes up or nothing. It's one thing when you know shit's gonna suck, but it's a whole nother thing when you start getting your hopes up and things turn to shit anyway.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-18 07:24 pm UTC
Private - [info]katoustheshit, 2015-11-20 09:53 pm UTC
Private - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-20 11:46 pm UTC
Private - [info]katoustheshit, 2015-11-23 08:01 pm UTC
Private - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-23 08:46 pm UTC

[info]maes
2015-11-19 01:20 pm UTC (link)
I hope that this is the end of the confusing mess for you as well, Wash. If you need anything, let me know, alright?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]completelysane
2015-11-19 03:01 pm UTC (link)
I will, sir. Thank you.

It's something of a relief, at least.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]maes
2015-11-19 07:05 pm UTC (link)
You're welcome.

I'm sure it is, and at least you know now what was going on with everything.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-19 07:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]maes, 2015-11-20 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-20 11:47 pm UTC

[info]funkbringer
2015-11-23 04:03 pm UTC (link)
Damn, Wash. Damn.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]completelysane
2015-11-23 04:05 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]funkbringer
2015-11-23 04:08 pm UTC (link)
Dunno how you even come back from that. You're strong as hell, man.

Sorry, that's all kinds of messed up.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-24 07:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funkbringer, 2015-11-25 11:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]completelysane, 2015-11-25 01:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funkbringer, 2015-11-25 01:15 pm UTC


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