Rita is a nosy fucker. (acidink) wrote in valarcomm, @ 2014-09-10 09:57:00 |
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Entry tags: | rita skeeter |
It's a pleasure to be back, dear viewers, after a long vacation to an undisclosed government location thanks to my fearless reporting. There's been a lot of juicy stories I've missed.
Sources close to socialite Kate Kane have told me that she and local weather guru Elsa have become engaged! Congratulations to the happy couple!
They aren't the only ones. Singer/songwriter Luthien Tinuviel was spirited away for a private wedding to her long-time partner, Elphaba. About time, if I do say so myself!
I've already reported on the sad state of affairs for a local congressman (my first story in quite some time), and tongues are wagging over Palvano CEO Mara Tamsin's carnal hunger for her young intern (more on that later), but there's another story I've been sitting on and I'm ready to share with the world!
Billionaire playboy Remy LeBeau has certainly been getting around. My sources tell me he's had dozens of liasons with attractive men and women alike, including heir to the electric car juggernaut Satoelectric, Asami Sato, and Olympic Medalist Jubilation Lee. [Fuzzy photo of Jubilee and Remy very close at the beach].
These same sources shared with me Mr. LeBeau's darkside.
[Video of Remy's car hitting a motocyclist]
Is it an inability to drive? Or, dear viewers, is Remy LeBeau a violent maniac behind the wheel? I report, you decide!
Speaking of rumors, I've been looking with some interest at heir to the Frost Empire, Ms. Emma Frost. With the death of her father, Winston Frost, the state of the company and that vast fortune is in the balance. But where is his daughter? She closed her school to pursue a career dancing around a pole! [Image]
Now, I'm not one to slut shame, but if the shoe fits?
As if both the Sato and Frost heirs weren't enough salacious news, Samantha Nishimura, daughter of a major Japanese media mogul, is knocked up! Who's the father? No one knows. She's long had a reputation of being fast and loose, and one source told me she'd left him handcuffed, naked, in an airport bathroom. Pictures and even a sex tape have made waves in the past.
She's currently been seeing Lady Lara Croft, an honest to god duchess with a gigantic manor near London, who's been making a name for herself in the normally dull world of archaeology. Has someone told the Lady Croft of her partner's predilictions?
And when will we see their sex tape? We're waiting!
A source caught young Aurora Irons leaving the condo of Mara Tamsin early this morning. Her hair was tousled in that freshly bleeped sort of way. Oh I just wonder what they were up to. Shame on you, Ms. Tamsin! Preying on this young woman, barely in college! We reached her father, Steel Magnate Stefan Irons, for comment, but what he said isn’t fit to be heard by polite ears. Oh my!