Why James Always Knocks

orgy_nibbles @ 06:08 pm: 25 July, 1976
Prongs,

I need to ask you a HUGE favour. I sent Sirius a letter with my parents' owl who, as you know, is very old and slow. Persephone should get to you with this before Athena gets there with the other. As soon as I sent her with it, I immediately regretted it. It was REALLY nasty and I was wondering if you could please intercept the letter before he reads it and destroy it. I know that is asking a lot, but PLEASE! I'm desperate! I should know by now to sit and think something over before just diving right in while I am still so upset. I took it all out on him. He isn't the only reason I'm in a bad mood. I really messed up this time, Prongs.

Thanks for your letter, it made me feel better. I think I need to quote parts of it to Lily. She'd jump you if she knew you could be so bloody sweet. She doesn't like leather trousers much, we've actually had that conversation before. Try some jeans and a tight fitting top. She's commented on how nice your shoulders are and I'd have to agree with her. And by saying that I am definitely NOT coming unto you, ok?

Please try and stop him!

Moony

Tags: remus to james

orgy_nibbles @ 06:03 pm: 23 July, 1976
Hey Prongs,

Sirius wrote and told me you were very upset about what I had written in my letter to him. I'm so sorry, James. It was just a load of rubbish you know. I didn't mean any of it, really. I know you have no secret agenda or hidden lust for any of us, least of all me. I was just going along with Sirius' stupid joke about you and him doing things to each other, that's all. He told me that he woke up from a sex dream to find you in his bed doing naughty things to him. I knew it wasn't true, so I just teased him back about it. You can blame him for everything, as per usual. I have no designs on you, I promise. I'm still the same 'sweet' boy I was before. Ha! Although I highly doubt it was a direct quote, it was nice of you to say I was 'sweet'. You're rather 'sweet' yourself... Sorry, I'm at it again. He's a bad influence on me, you were absolutely correct. He's rubbing off on me in more ways than one, I'm afraid. Bad mental picture? Gods, I can't stop. I think he's possessed me.

If the tormenting bothers you, I'll never do it again. I can't say the same for Sirius, as he's an ignorant berk and never does what he promises to. I mean, if you asked someone who supposedly loved you to see something to clear your mind about an uncomfortable situation and they not only flat out refused to show it to you but acted as if it was of no consequence when clearly it was, you'd be angry, right? Am I wrong to be angry about that, Prongs? If When you and Lily get together, if she ever kept something from you after promises of telling about all past indiscretions, wouldn't you be the least bit apprehensive? I just told him I nearly banged Regulus, for Merlin's sake. It couldn't be any worse than that, right? Why did I have to fall in love with such an insufferable git? Please remind me of his redeemable qualities again. Besides his beautiful eyes and the way he laughs and it sounds a little like a dog barking. And how he stares at me with that foolish smile on his face when he thinks I'm not paying any attention. Or how whenever you're down about Lily he always finds a way to take your mind off of it without being too obvious. And the mornings after my transformations, how he's always there when I come to, offering quiet comfort and my favourite chocolate. I'm hopeless, aren't I?

Sorry about rabbiting on like that. I'm really upset with him right now. I suppose I should send this off with Persephone and try to answer Sirius' letter. I'm afraid there is no way I'm going to be able to be civil with him.

All my utterly platonic love (although at the moment, I'm loving you loads more than I'm loving Sirius),

Remus

P.S. One other thing, I only named Sirius' stones after you guys to freak him out and get back at him for giving mine ridiculous names. I'm not actually going to call them that or anything.

Tags: remus to james

orgy_nibbles @ 07:46 pm: 17 July, 1976
Oh Merlin, I'm so relieved he's back there. You don't think he did anything to anyone do you?

I feel so terrible, James. I deserve to lose him forever for this, don't I? I've never seen him break down like that. Do you really think he's going to be alright? I wish I could floo over there right now but Mum's still flitting about, acting as though I'm made of porcelain and she'd have kittens if I tried to leave. Besides the fact that I'm terrified he'll tell me to bugger off and never speak to me again if I did. I feel so helpless here. I guess I'll just have to wait until he feels like writing to me. If he ever does.

Please look after him, Prongs. I know you will. You're the best mate a bloke could have, you know? We're all lucky to have you. Especially Sirius. And he really loves and appreciates you, although he tries to hide it.

What am I going to do, Prongs? I love him so much it hurts. I can't believe I did this to him. I'm the biggest cock-up ever to walk the Earth. I deserve to be devoured by a manticore. Please come over and curse me, no one will care. You won't even get arrested for it. I'm just a bloody werewolf, after all.

I'm going completely mental. Please write back and tell me how he's doing, if he decides to chuck me. I just want to know he's ok, even if I don't deserve that particular privilege.

Just tell him that I love him and that I've never been so sorry about anything ever in my life. I never meant to hurt him. If I could take it all back I would, in a heartbeat. Thanks, James.

Pitifully yours,

Remus

Tags: remus to james

orgy_nibbles @ 07:43 pm: 15 July, 1976
HE'S GONE TO LONDON? HOLY BUGGERING FUCK!!!! We've got to find him... Why did I tell him, Prongs? It was the worst thing I could've done. Christ. I should have at least waited until we were together, I was too afraid to tell him face-to-face. Why did the sorting hat place me in Gryffindor again? I surely don't deserve to be there.

Ok, he's definitely gone to his parents' house. He wouldn't do anything too drastic would he? I mean, he has some semblance of self-control, right? No, of course he doesn't. Oh my god. We have to find him... But even if we tried, we can't find that house. Sirius told me that you can only see it if you've been there before. There are all sorts of enchantments on that goddamned snake-pit. What the hell are we going to do? They'll hurt him...

I guess I'm going to have to fill you in on some details now, it's unavoidable if we are to decide what to do.

The night of your birthday, when we were so drunk, I fooled around with Regulus, thinking it was Sirius. Now you see why he is so upset and why I hate myself (even more than usual). He's going to go and do something to him. How will we find him, James?

I'm going to send this now, I have to know what's going on. Please write back and tell me that he's returned....

Remus

Tags: remus to james

orgy_nibbles @ 07:41 pm: 14 July, 1976
Hey Prongs,

Thanks again for owling me. I really appreciate it. Especially with the risk you and your body parts are taking.

Padfoot's temper is well deserved this time, I'm afraid. He's probably going to write to tell me to piss off and that he hates my slutty, half-blood, werewolf guts as soon as he's calm enough to be coherent. I told him about a mishap which took place during (well, actually, following) your birthday drunk-fest this past September. It most definitely involved male genitalia (which did not belong to him) so I won't go into any detail and further traumatise you. He said he didn't want there to be any secrets between us, so I decided to get the worst of my transgressions out of the way first. If he can't forgive me this one, we'll never be OK. He promised before hand not to get too angry, I knew that was an impossibility. I'll just have to wait and see what he says, won't I? Oh Merlin, I can't believe I made him cry...

Listen, if he tells me to bugger off and never come round again I'll understand if you don't want to be friends with me anymore. He's your best mate, after all. There'll be no hard feelings on my part. No worries. I deserve what I get.

He may also be upset about another letter which he may or may not have received, from a person to whom he may or may not have written. He'd better not have! Now I'm acting like him, that's just wonderful. Has he gotten any letters carried by unfamiliar owls? Never mind that, I do not wish to know. It's not really my business. I mean, who am I to pass judgment on anyone after what I have done? Merlin, now I am just babbling and coming across all mental, aren't I? You haven't the foggiest what I am on about. I do apologise.

About Lily. I don't think she would appreciate being referred to as a 'bird'. You have to drop that attitude if you want her to go out with you. She does like you, Prongs. I can tell. I've been writing to her, as I know you have been, and she sometimes mentions you. Although it's usually about how you are driving her crazy and she's going to hex you once summer is over. (Lay off on the letters, trust me.) She's the type of person who can easily ignore people whom she dislikes. For you to enrage her so she has to care for you, at least a little. You have to stop showing off and be yourself around her. You're a really nice person underneath all of that false arrogance. Prove to her that you aren't all mouth and no trousers.

She has invited me to her birthday in August and she says that you and Padfoot and Wormtail are also welcome. But, as I told Sirius , you have to behave around the muggles. It's her 16th, and we're going out. The plans are to sneak into some club, she's naughty. We'll have to go shopping for muggle club clothes in London before then. I'm sure Sirius (just writing his name is so painful) would love to take you. In the mean time, think of a good gift for Lily. I'll aide you in your quest, if I am able to. And if my heart hasn't been smashed to tiny bits and sent off into the wind (and deservedly so).

Please write back to update me on Padfoot's state, as he probably won't ever speak to me again, let alone put quill to parchment and write me a letter. Keep in touch. You may be my only correspondent for the remainder of the summer. Besides Lily. And Peter, but he only writes a few lines usually, smudged with sweets. Oh and there's Fabian Prewett. But don't tell Sirius about that or he'll do his nut. Why can't I just be friends with other blokes without him acting all crazy? Because I'm an over-sexed man-whore, apparently. Never mind that rubbish, Prongs.

Moony

P.S. Maybe if you spoke to him about the situation he'd feel better about it. He won't tell you any of the sordid details, as I left them out. And good thing, too, if he got this upset over just the overall picture. It may help to get it off his chest, to grumble about me to someone else. You don't have to, though, it may only prove to further upset him. Whatever you think is best. Thanks for being so great about all this, James. You're a wonderful friend.

P.S.S. I've never felt so horrible in my life. Was he really crying, Prongs? Oh gods, just come over here and hex me or something. Put me out of my misery. Poor Sirius... now I'm starting...sorry for the smudges.

R

Tags: remus to james

orgy_nibbles @ 07:16 pm: 3 July, 1976
Thanks, Prongs.

I'm sorry if I got Padfoot angry with you. I was only joking around and trying to give him something else with which to torture you. I know how weary you grow of the whole Evans thing, and how Sirius is only happy when being a pest. I should have known that he'd freak out like this. He's lost it over much smaller things before.

When he comes back please force him (at wand point, if necessary) to owl me.

Many Thanks, Remus

Oh, and James. Since you read my letter, I don't think about you in the shower. Just more teasing. In case you were freaked out about it. And possibly traumatised. Please give him my enclosed note.

M

Tags: remus to james