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Darius Alexander Summers ([info]dasummers) wrote in [info]utr_logs,
@ 2009-04-09 09:44:00

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Entry tags:darius summers, sophie frost

Who: Darius and Sophie
What: probably yelling at each other
When: afternoon
Where: Chez Frost
Warnings: Darius might curse?

Darius was tired. He'd spent most of the night not sleeping, alternately angry at Rose and dealing with his demons. He'd gone out the previous night and walked through Paris for an hour, which had helped, but when the morning came, he realized that he hadn't actually forgiven Rose, or dealt with anything beside the fact that he was pretty much screwed when it came to getting help.

He'd stayed in his room, even opting to skip his martial arts classes that day. Mostly he just sat around, staring listlessly at the computer, occasionally starting, then deleting, e-mails to everyone he knew. The only one he finished went to Ophelia, asking her if she might like to explore Geneva the next day.

Finally his stomach decided it would not be ignored any longer. He slid out of bad, pulling on a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top. He padded out, still wearing his glasses, hair mussed and ignored. He was just going to grab a sandwich and hope he didn't run into Rose.



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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-09 01:08 pm UTC (link)
Rose and Sophie looked virtually identical from behind. They were about the same height, with hair that was very close to the same shade and length. Back when the Cuckoos had been making Rose's life diffucult, Rose had felt it necessary to dye her hair just to distance herself from them.

When Sophie turned around and saw Darius, though, the organic diamond that quickly covered her body--as it had every time she'd run into Darius since she'd returned from vacation--differentiated her starkly from the other Frost girl. She didn't greet him or display any outward emotion. She turned her back to him again and pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, closing it behind her.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-09 01:12 pm UTC (link)
Darius watched her with cold detachment. Rose's word came back to mind, and he just grabbed a water himself and walked out, doing his best to remain calm, to avoid any outward sign of how badly this hurt. If Sophie was going to be given carte blanche to treat him like shit, then obviously there was no point in even trying to talk to her before she was ready.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-09 07:43 pm UTC (link)
Sophie stepped out of the way so that Darius could get to the fridge. Her emotions weren't non-existent. They were still there, but they were dampened. Difficult to detect and easy to ignore. The hurt and the anger were faint enough that being in the same room as Darius wasn't hard for her.

She watched him turn to leave without comment. She reached up to open one of the cabinets, looking for anything that might look appetizing. She didn't feel much like eating now.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-10 04:28 pm UTC (link)
Darius jumped a bit, whipping his head around. He was used to having things thrown at him by angry women. When she didn't actually throw anything, he relaxed. At least she wasn't that mad at him.

His stomach took the opportunity to growl, and he remembered that he hadn't eaten. Grumbling, he went back to the fridge. He was still living there, and by God he wasn't going to let one sulky teenager stop him from eating.

He was unnaturally quiet as he pulled out the things to make a sandwich, until a jar of pickles decided to leap out and smash on the floor. The expletives that escaped his mouth were fascinating in both breadth and vehemence, though since the maternity of most cucumbers is unknown, in the end they were mostly nonsensical.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-10 06:16 pm UTC (link)
Darius' jumpy reaction to her movement didn't go unnoticed, nor did his outburst. Sophie cocked a diamond eyebrow in his direction. If she had any comments, she kept them to herself. She'd been preparing a bowl of cereal at the counter. As he was finishing up his string of profanities, she deliberately sidestepped around the mess to get to the fridge, her organic diamond skin brushing against his shoulder. At least he hadn't spilled the milk everywhere and ruined both of their meals.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-10 06:21 pm UTC (link)
He stiffened, and turned to her, letting out a sigh. He got the broom to sweep up the solid part of the mess, cursing even more under his breath. His target was kept carefully concealed.

Once he had swept up the mess, he mopped the juice up with a rag.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-10 06:33 pm UTC (link)
There was, perhaps, a very slight eyeroll as she watched Darius' bristling. In her diamond form Sophie couldn't even pick up on surface thoughts. She was grateful for it, at times like these. It made Darius' grumbling easier to ignore.

She poured milk over her cereal and then opened a drawer to retrieve a spoon. Leaving the spoon in the bowl, she turned to the fridge to put back the milk, brushing past him again.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-10 06:40 pm UTC (link)
Darius finished cleaning and threw the rag into the laundry hamper in the bathroom. He didn't bother going back to the kitchen. He'd just go grab some food from the deli down the street. Maybe he'd go to New York, instead. The company sure as hell couldn't get any worse.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-10 07:13 pm UTC (link)
Even in diamond form, enduring that level of hostility was exhausting for Sophie. She decided to eat in her room, waiting until later to interact with anyone else. She remained in diamond form even after Darius was out of the room, unwilling to let her guard down yet.

On her way back to her room, she nearly collided with Darius while he was leaving the bathroom. She very nearly dropped her cereal. "Oh!"

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-10 07:34 pm UTC (link)
Darius stopped short, surprised into silence. But he did reflexively reach for her bowl to keep it from tipping, his hand expanding to encompass the bottom. Being rubbery was still pretty neat.

For a moment, at least. It took a lot to make Darius shut up for a long time. "Noticed me, eh?" Once he was sure she wouldn't drop her bowl, he stepped around her. "Tell Emma I'll be back later, if she asks." He continued on his way, utterly tired of being treated like shit by the one person he'd actually come to think might care about him beyond his immediate usefulness.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-10 10:22 pm UTC (link)
Her brows furrowed. That stung, which surprised her. Maybe there was a mental component beyond the simple emotions that she was blocking. Something else made it under her shields. She stood, holding the bowl and staring after him. "You're leaving again?" she asked, her tone quiet but even.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-10 10:26 pm UTC (link)
"Yes. Obviously you want to be left alone. So, I'm respecting that wish. Enjoy your day. I have no doubt that Rose will be quite eager to agree with you when you call me an asshole for this later, just so you know who best to go to."

His tone was short, and he realized he was making this worse, so he stopped, and took a breath. "If you're going to blame me for his dying, at least beat me up for it. I'd really prefer it to being ignored."

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-10 11:19 pm UTC (link)
She frowned. The detached emotion and cold logic fostered Emma's trademark bitchiness in Sophie. She could feel the emotion rising in her. She crossed her arms over her chest. She couldn't believe how much of a jerk he was being about this. She wanted to scream and yell at him, and she would need to lose the diamond to truly rage at him. "Look, Darius.." she started, as her skin began to change.

Instead of yelling at him, though, she immediately collapsed into tears.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-10 11:24 pm UTC (link)
Fuck.

He couldn't ignore her crying, so he went over, pretty sure she was going to hit him. But he knelt down next to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. Or attempting to, anyway.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-10 11:48 pm UTC (link)
Sophie didn't fight him or push him away. Her body was shaking with each sob, and she couldn't seem to get control of herself. She hated it. This was why she'd gone into diamond form. This was why she'd hidden away. She couldn't do this. She had spilled her food, but she didn't seem to notice.

"Where were you?" she asked through her tears. Her words weren't accusatory. There was no anger there; only hurt and sadness.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-10 11:55 pm UTC (link)
He wrapped his arms around her as soon as it became evident that she wasn't going to attack him. He'd had worse than cheerios on his jeans, and honestly, he wasn't half the bastard her pretended to be.

He rubbed her back, gently. "When?" It was a good question, but it had too many answers without being clarified.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-11 12:12 am UTC (link)
"I needed you," she sniffled, leaning into his arms. Maybe it wasn't fair.. She had hardly spoken to anyone that entire first week, but she'd needed them. She'd needed to know they were there. Just knowing Rose was sitting outside her door had meant a lot to Sophie. "I was.. I felt so alone," she said, her sobs renewed.

"Quentin.. We had a link. And then he was gone and I was so alone." She felt like she couldn't even catch her breath between sobs.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-11 12:19 am UTC (link)
He held her close. "I needed to be away. I- you were hurting so much, and I thought you were mad at me, and I didn't want to make it worse."

He snuggled her, rubbing her back. There wasn't much you could say in a situation like this, and he didn't know the few words that would have worked. So he simply sat there and held her, surrounded by the smell of cheerios and milk.

His life was truly bizarre.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-11 12:30 am UTC (link)
"You've been horrible," she said, still crying. She'd seen the post he made, complaining about her to strangers. And then whatever had gone down between Rose and Darius. Rose hadn't told Sophie the specifics, but Sophie was sure it had something to do with her. And acting like her avoiding him was supposed to be some sort of cruel punishment--like Sophie was some sadistic overlord.

Still, she didn't move to leave his arms. She was crying as hard as ever. "I only ever wanted us to be a family."

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-11 12:37 am UTC (link)
Darius had no response. This wasn't the time to argue, to point out that she had ignored him, not the other way around, and that he had tried to engage her at first. The remark about being a family hurt on a lot of levels, but he bit back his anger. Being angry would only make it worse. Better just to let her call him an asshole until she felt better, and then deal with his own shit elsewhere.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-11 12:49 am UTC (link)
She let her head rest on his shoulder and she closed her eyes. "Please? Can we just.. Try? Don't leave." Maybe their family would never match the ideal in her mind, but there had to be something better than this.

"Just...pretend, if you have to," she said, her voice strained by a choked-back sob. It hurt to even think that, and she could feel the diamond starting to wrap around her fingertips and start spreading slowly upward in an effort to protect herself from the emotional pain.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-11 12:54 am UTC (link)
He hugged her close. "No diamond form. Putting off your emotions doesn't help you deal with them. God knows I'm an expert at that." He continued to stroke her back. "I'm sorry, Sophie. I do love you. But I need to be on my own. What I need in a family isn't here. And you don't really want me to pretend. I'll always be your brother, and you'll always be my sister. We're not less of a family because we're apart."

He kissed her cheek softly. "You can yell and scream and cry and call me names all day long, but don't shut me out. That's not how family works."

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-11 10:01 am UTC (link)
The diamond form stopped at her elbow for a moment and shimmered, as if she couldn't decide which way to go. She was feeling the heart she'd been trying to mend breaking again, and she wanted to protect it. She knew she wasn't ready for these emotions yet. She hadn't been ready. But Darius wouldn't listen to her if she went diamond. He would assume the words weren't really coming from her. The diamond disappeared from her hands.

"No, Darius," she protested, crying out. "How hard is it to be there for someone who needs you?" She pushed him weakly, but wasn't ready to leave his arms. "How can you tell me not to shut you out when you're running away?"

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-11 12:15 pm UTC (link)
"How hard is it? Ask yourself. You shut me out first, Sophie. I know this hurts. But if you're just going to ignore me, then there's no point in my being here. I hurt too, and I need help too. Sure, I didn't lose someone I loved, up until you shut yourself off from me, but I wasn't exactly eating cake and playing with puppies while I was gone. You have your diamond form, I have working until I collapse."

He sighed, wrapping his arms tighter around her, and then lifting her up. Thank God she hadn't gone to diamond form. "Let's go someplace that doesn't reek. I'll clean the mess up later." He didn't get far, lack of sleep and food had done away with most of his strength. But he did make it to the couch, which he settled on with an undignified 'oof'.

That had been his exercise for the day. At least his legs would uncramp. "Okay, so I've been a giant prick. I know I have. I'm sorry if I added to what was hurting you by being a prick. But at the same time, I'm not sorry I sought out the help I needed, and I won't be sorry later when I take off again. I know you're hurting, and I wish I could take it away from you, but the honest truth is I'm not in any shape, physically or mentally, to deal with my own shit. I honestly can't deal with the shit everyone here seems to be so willing to put on me."

It seemed like everyone was quick to paint him as the asshole, and the logic they used to explain Sophie's cold treatment of him never seemed to extend to include him as well. The only place that wasn't true seemed to be Genosha, where the rest of his family was. Maybe it was just because this Emma wasn't his mom that he felt awkward interrupting her, or like he was taking up time she would be happier spending someplace else. At least Ophelia seemed to make the hurting go away for a while, though he felt a pang of guilt for even thinking about her now. After all, Sophie only had her family, anymore.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-11 12:37 pm UTC (link)
"No, Darius," she said, and there was anger in her voice now. "You left first. You didn't even come to check on me. Do you know why I'm upset, Darius? Because you're still fighting. Because you're so desperate to prove that you're right. I don't care, Darius. I lost Quentin, and all you care about is that I didn't talk to you for a few days. I wasn't strong enough to talk to you, Darius. It wasn't about you! I wasn't trying to punish you and don't you dare compare me avoiding you for a week to Quentin dying! I wasn't 'giving you shit', you stupid... Goddamnit, Darius!" She gritted her teeth together. "Fine. I'm done. If you leave again now, Darius, don't come back."

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-11 12:56 pm UTC (link)
Darius shook his head. "If that's what you want, princess."

He stood up, and went to the hall. He'd said he'd clean up the mess, and he intended to keep that part of his word. After that, he had a date with Ophelia in Geneva, and after that. . . whatever.

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[info]outgrewthenest
2009-04-11 01:25 pm UTC (link)
"Don't you dare come back!" she shrieked after him. Once he was gone, she broke down into tears again, burying her face in a pillow.

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[info]dasummers
2009-04-11 06:28 pm UTC (link)
He cleaned, focusing intensely on the job at hand. He knew that if he left, he wouldn't come back, and not jut because of how Sophie had yelled at him. He knew what he needed wasn't here, and he also knew that he'd pretty well fucked things up with Sophie beyond repair.

So, what was keeping him coming back beside her? He tossed the towels in the hamper and went up to his room. He tossed his cellphone in the garbage, and opened up his backpack. Out went the college stuff, the karate gi, and the random collection of stuff backpacks collect. In went his laptop, his jacket, three pairs of socks and underwear, a couple more t-shirts, and his ID. He strapped his gun on, for lack of a better place to put it, and grabbed a hat. If he was leaving, then he wasn't going to pick one of the secondary homes he'd found for himself.

It was time to finally take Scott's advice from months ago. He was honestly surprised he remembered even this portion of it. He strode back out into the hall, and out the door. Time to figure out what it was that he wanted from a family, from life, and from himself.

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