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Darius Alexander Summers ([info]dasummers) wrote in [info]utr_logs,
@ 2008-10-24 14:42:00

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Entry tags:darius summers, emma frost

Who: Darius and Emma
What: Coming home
Where: England, Emma's place
When: Early in afternoon

Darius trudged up to the door, more tired than he'd thought possible. The night's sleep had been much needed, and he was glad that Emma had offered it.

Despite all the trauma, it was nice to be back. He still wasn't sure how he should feel about Emma, but since she obviously cared for him, and his mother wasn't there, he saw no reason not to think of her as such.

He searched his pockets, and realized he didn't have his keys with him. Sighing, he knocked on the door.


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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 04:57 pm UTC (link)
Emma had been tracking the movement of her son across the world ever since she'd heard about Sinister's attacks. She told herself she worried mostly because he wasn't a mutant. He didn't have the powers that the other children did. But it was more than that. She was concerned because she saw him as another one of her children.

The door opened at Darius' second knock. She'd sensed him nearing the house and had gone downstairs to receive him. She stepped aside to let him in after looking him over. He seemed tired but well. The haunted look in his eye was familiar. Emma knew he'd been through a lot the past few days. "Welcome back," Emma said as he walked inside.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 05:02 pm UTC (link)
He gave her a wan smile. "Thanks." He wondered what was expected of him in this kind of a situation.

Oh, fuck it. He hugged her, needing some kind of physical contact. He could be manly and adult later.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 05:04 pm UTC (link)
Emma exhaled as his arms went around her. It seemed children flocked to her, for some reason. Her reaction was a bit slow, but she did return the hug. One of her arms went around his middle, the other cradled his head.

She didn't say anything, instead waiting to see if he had anything he needed to blurt out. She didn't let go, either, figuring he'd pull away when he was ready.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 05:17 pm UTC (link)
He didn't blurt anything out, or cry, though both were viable options. He pulled back eventually, and took a deep breath.

He would talk to her about what had happened, but in his own time. Right then he wanted to drop his things off and take a shower.

"I'm sorry I didn't call as soon as I could. Between the police and leaving Samoa, I was kind of out of it."

He hoped she hadn't worried, and that Sophie hadn't worried.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 05:29 pm UTC (link)
"It's alright." Emma watched him closely as he pulled away. She didn't think he would break. It was clear from how he carried himself that he was strong. Maybe he wouldn't even let too many of his emotions leak through; that was the Summers way, after all. "Nathan let me know what happened."

"Do you want to shower and change? Or sleep?" Emma could wait until he'd taken a few moments to breathe before talking.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 05:34 pm UTC (link)
Repression is something Darius is good at, for better or worse. He nodded at her question. "Just a shower, I think. I slept a lot last night."

He eyed his messenger bag. "Luckily, most of my clothes are still here."

He'd have to get the rest of his possessions later. But it could wait. Maybe he could coerce Nate into getting them for him.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 05:36 pm UTC (link)
"Go shower, then." Emma's voice took a commanding edge, the sort she used at school. "Are you hungry?" Not much of a cook, Emma wondered how quickly take-away would come if she called while he showered.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 05:39 pm UTC (link)
That got a wry smile out of him, and he nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

The thought of food wasn't terribly appealing. "I don't think I'm hungry. Maybe later."

He wondered if she would yell at him like Domino had. It had been a bit of a shock to have someone so easy going snap over something so trivial.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 05:41 pm UTC (link)
Emma didn't yell very often. When she was angriest, her voice got calm and quiet. But she didn't mind now that Darius wasn't eating.

"I'll be here when you're done," Emma said as she took a seat in the living room. She sat on a white recliner and watched him with cool blue eyes.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 05:48 pm UTC (link)
He nodded and went up to his room, to drop his things off and grab his robe.

the shower was long, and very much enjoyed. Physical sensation helped to block out thought, if you focused enough.

But he knew he couldn't hide forever, and stepped out, dressing quickly, not bothering to brush his hair for the moment.

He went back to the living room, not sure what to do now that he didn't have anything else to do.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 05:51 pm UTC (link)
"You're very much like your father," Emma said, a small smile on her face. In this world, she and Scott hadn't parted well. That didn't mean she'd stopped loving or admiring the man. Darius felt like Scott. They thought similarly. "Sit down."

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 06:03 pm UTC (link)
He nodded, and let out a small, hollow laugh. "Thanks." He sat in a chair close to her, and turned it a little so they were facing.

He was sure that anyone else would have been able to stop the bomb before it went off. That they'd have avoided being taken into custody for gun laws of all things, at the very least.

"It's weird, really. I mean, how people react to things. I always thought Dad was so cool, because nothing ever seemed to get to him. You were both very level headed. I didn't realize how rare that was until we moved back to San Francisco. Being around the others made me realize how much of an asset being calm on the outside was."

Even if he couldn't manage internal calm.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 06:13 pm UTC (link)
"Your father and I have always been as calm as people needed us to be." A pause. "It's probably saved our lives... that ability to remain level-headed." Emma had gotten used to putting on a brave face in the worst situation. She'd had to in order to get through the very worst. Losing students, losing almost all the world's mutants... this sort of thing had hardened her.

"But," and when she said this, she watched Darius' shoulders, "you cannot always keep calm. Especially after severe traumas. I know this from experience."

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 06:17 pm UTC (link)
He shrugged, his body tightening. The thought of opening up was hard. Even if she was his mother, he'd never gotten the hang of being emotional, especially after something like this.

"I know. And it will all come apart in the end."

But he didn't know if now was the right time. "But if something else happens, I'd rather have spent the time between doing something about it than sharing my feelings."

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 06:21 pm UTC (link)
Emma couldn't hide the smile on her face. "You expect to be working nonstop until the next tragedy, darling?" It faded a little as she continued, "Something else will happen. It doesn't stop." She reached out, laid a hand gently on his knee, "You need rest. Helping people can wait until you've given yourself some time to heal."

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 06:25 pm UTC (link)
He sighed. "When you put it like that, I guess it is kind of dumb."

Damn logic!

"I just always feel like I should be doing more, getting more done, and doing it better. Whatever it is." Which tended to leave him feeling run down and inadequate, but he figured it was better to try for perfection and fail than not try at all.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 06:29 pm UTC (link)
It was a shame Scott wasn't here. Darius, it seemed, was very much his father's child. The two of them might have gone away together and bonded in manly, unemotional ways. "Not dumb, exactly. Stubborn would be a more accurate word for it."

"You can only give so much before you burn yourself out," Emma said. "It's best for you to do all you can within reason and not exhaust yourself or drive yourself mad. When the next situation arises, you don't want to be unable to help because you were doing too much."

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 06:33 pm UTC (link)
He'd heard this all before, and did, on some level, agree. But it was difficult for him to let things go before they were done to his satisfaction, even things like this.

"I know." his tone was a little quieter. "I just wish I were able to do more."

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 06:41 pm UTC (link)
"We all do, my dear." She glanced up at him, almost curious. Emma wondered if he meant to say that he wished her were a mutant, but she didn't say that out loud.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 07:05 pm UTC (link)
To a certain extent, he did wish he was a mutant. It had been a bitter disappointment when all the genetic tests had come through negative. It hadn't been too long ago, either, so the disappointment was still somewhat fresh.

But he had meant it the way she had taken it, too. He knew that being a mutant wouldn't make him able to do everything he felt he ought to be doing. It would just make his abilities more expansive.

"It must be hard for you," he noted after a moment. "I've really only got you, Esme, and Sophie to worry about, beside myself. But you've got your whole school." Nate could take care of himself, and probably a small country in addition, and Lorna and Alex were more equipped to defend themselves than he would likely ever be. Everyone else was secondary, after family.

The thought of Sinister infiltrating Taunton was not a nice one.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 07:09 pm UTC (link)
"I try not to worry about it," Emma said honestly. "I'd drive myself mad if I did. The school is safe. We will continue to add as much protection as we can. If something happens," there was a flash of something quite dangerous in Emma's eye that came and went quickly, "Sinister will die a miserable death."

She didn't like to dwell on what could happen at the school. She kept all the old magical shields Dumbledore had put up and had added more. It was probably the safest places in England. That didn't mean it was impregnable.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 07:17 pm UTC (link)
He nodded. "It's amazing. Alternate universe versions of people aren't usually this similar."

Nate was nicer, Hank was quieter, Sophie was less zombified. But Emma was remarkably like his mom. It was nice, in a way.

"He's already going to die a miserable death." His voice was soft. "For everything he's done here, and everything he's done before, he doesn't deserve anything else."

His tone was hard, and his hands clenched tight.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 07:22 pm UTC (link)
"He'll make himself known eventually. And then he'll be put down." Back home, Emma hadn't been quite as violent. Now, she had children of her own and she wasn't exactly an X-Man. She lived by her own rules. If she could help it, she'd make sure to squash any problems before they got out of hand - or even more out of hand, in Sinister's case. "You needn't worry on that."

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 07:30 pm UTC (link)
"I only worry about what he'll do in the course of making himself known."

Twenty people was low, in the grand scheme of things, casualty wise. "Did. . . did the papers report any survivors?"

He was almost afraid to ask, but he wanted to know, at the same time. He'd known them all, and even liked a few of them.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 07:56 pm UTC (link)
"No, darling." Her voice was soft when she said it. "No other survivors." He was a lucky boy, but she imagined he wouldn't focus on that. Survivor's guilt was a strong thing.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 08:01 pm UTC (link)
He nodded. "I didn't think so. I don't even know how the man who did it survived, really."

Unless he was an early experiment. "Damn."

He should have just kissed that girl. Maybe they'd have gone out for coffee together and she'd still be alive.

Oh well. That was angst for later.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-24 08:02 pm UTC (link)
She couldn't just tell him what to do. People couldn't be told to feel. Still, Emma looked at him with worry in her eyes. The more he put of feeling things, the worse he'd explode later. "I'm sorry, darling."

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-24 08:15 pm UTC (link)
Her expression made him feel guilty. "Me too. If I'd have been less oblivious, maybe I'd have seen what was going on."

After all, a bomb that thorough would have to be planted inside the building.

"I thought maybe I'd be fine, since I wasn't interesting, or particularly useful, at least experiment wise. What the hell was the point of coming after me?"

That was unexpected. He even looked surprised. But that was what he'd come for, wasn't it?

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-25 10:38 am UTC (link)
"I don't know what his plan was. It's likely he just wants to hurt you to make a strike at your father. You cannot hide who you are, Darius." The poor boy would always be a target just because of his relatives. It wasn't fair.

"You couldn't have known what was going to happen, darling." She made eye contact with him and didn't let him look away. "Don't blame yourself. "

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-25 05:19 pm UTC (link)
The unfairness had occurred to him as well.

"But he's not even here! What the fuck?"

His voice was louder and higher. "Bastard." There was more feeling in that one word than in anything else he'd said since he came home.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-25 09:38 pm UTC (link)
Emma smiled a little, but it was sad. "I haven't really spoken about Scott in a long time. I haven't even thought about him. But..." She leaned in a little, "I know how you feel." She was with Logan, here, yes. But it still stung some days that Scott wasn't here. There was something very solid and comforting in Scott. It was missing because he was gone.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-25 09:44 pm UTC (link)
Darius noted her expression. "I'm sorry."

His voice was quiet. "I miss him a lot. I even miss my brothers, and I didn't think I would."

There was a moment where he just thought, and realized how much stuff he hadn't been dealing with. It was a pretty long list.

"I'm almost afraid that if he did wind up coming here, he'd be from some crazy alternate universe or something."

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-25 09:47 pm UTC (link)
"I've been blessed to meet a number of incarnations of your father. Not all of them were entirely pleasant." They were far enough in the past that she could laugh through the memories. "I'm sorry that you aren't with them." Emma was acutely aware of the fact that Darius probably missed his Emma.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-25 09:54 pm UTC (link)
He thought for a minute. "I miss them. But. . . I was always the least useful, the least capable. I was the one who only made the reserve team, because being a good physical fighter just doesn't trump telepathy, or being made of organic diamond, or whatever. Here. . . it's like I stand more on my own merit with people who were so inundated by kids who need them more that I got pushed aside. Hell, I think before I came here the deepest conversation I ever had with Nate was about butter and how he should hand it to me. But here, now that he's not teaching seven classes and two Danger Room sessions a day, he's got time to talk to me about actual stuff."

He paused for a minute. "Even Mom and Dad were so busy once they went back to the X-men, or reformed it, or whatever actually happened, that we all had to compete for attention, and it's hard to trump 'hey Mom, I can hear the thoughts of everyone in San Francisco, and it's kept me up all night.'"

He knew it was a stupid feeling, but it wasn't something he could help.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-25 10:00 pm UTC (link)
Back home, having children was more a dream of Emma's than anything she'd planned for. When the world was constantly ending, it was hard to set aside time to raise children. Emma tried to think what she might have done, what she might have felt if she'd given birth to a child that hadn't had powers. She didn't exactly love human beings, as a general rule. "I'm sorry," Emma said suddenly. "If your world was anything like my own - and it sounds similar - it wasn't a place that children deserved to grow up in."

Lightly, she squeezed his knee. "Your parents love you. They might be too busy to say it or show it properly, but they do." A pause. "You deserved better than they gave you, but I'm positive they did the best they could."

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-25 10:07 pm UTC (link)
"I'm not mad at them. They had so much going on, I think it was almost a relief to have a kid who wasn't constantly battling telepathy that was advance beyond his ability to handle it, or dealing with looking like a stone golem. But at the same time, I do wish things had been different."

He shrugged. "But what is, is. The world needed them to be X-men. Three kids compared to the rest of the mutant population isn't even a contest."

He wasn't angry. Sad, lonely, but not angry. "But either way, this universe has distinct advantages over home, even if I do miss a lot of people. If I left now, I'd still miss pretty much everyone I've talked to."

Including her.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-25 10:09 pm UTC (link)
"We would miss you, too."

Emma was a little quiet for a few seconds, thinking about all the children - all the family - she had here. There were so many things to be grateful about here.

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-25 10:15 pm UTC (link)
This time, when he smiled, there was some real emotion behind it.

"How have the girls been doing? I didn't get to talk to Sophie as much as I wanted to, and I never know where I stand with Rose."

Esme, he assumed, was still cute and tiny.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-26 10:51 am UTC (link)
The change of topic was a much needed one. The look on Emma's face changed. It always did when she spoke about her children. "They're... teenaged girls. Constantly in the middle of some boy drama, but otherwise well behaved and bright. I believe they're plotting what they will do for Halloween and how they will sneak out in their costumes without Logan or I seeing what they're wearing." Emma was a laid back mother who let her kids dress and do what they pleased - within reason. Logan, on the other hand, tried to control the girls, Rose especially. Emma imagined the two would come to words over costumes. "You should speak with Rose. I imagine she's as curious about you as you are about her."

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-26 08:28 pm UTC (link)
Darius laughed at that. "I think I'll be strategically absent when that conversation happens."

Logan alone was bad enough. Protective father Logan had to be terrifying.

"I will. There was just so much going on before, and she didn't leap out at me every time she had half a chance like Sophie."

Talking about his sisters was nice. "I should see if they want to do anything when they get home from school."

Being out and about with two teenage girls was probably a pretty good distraction.

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[info]elitistqueen
2008-10-26 08:48 pm UTC (link)
"If I could avoid it, I would," Emma admitted with a smirk.

"That might be a good idea. It took Rose some time to warm to me." The girl was as hardheaded as Logan and as proud as Emma. It led to plenty of fights. Rose kept herself aloof. "I doubt she'll ever be as friendly as Sophie is, but she cares."

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[info]dasummers
2008-10-26 09:00 pm UTC (link)
"That's alright. Sophie being as friendly as she is a surprise."

He was more relaxed now, and leaned back in his chair. "A good surprise. It's weird going from having all brothers to having mostly sisters."

But not a bad weird. He liked Rose and Sophie a lot more than he'd liked Chris and Henry.

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