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Nathan Explosion ([info]blackestblack) wrote in [info]utr_logs,
@ 2008-06-27 00:12:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Who: Nathan Explosion and Skwisgaar the Elder.
What: Escaping Florida.
Where: Out and about in London, MiniMordhaus.
When: Right after Nathan gets here.
Warnings: Swearing and possible violence.



Nathan was appalled to find that the person he'd replaced (which was weird enough in and of itself to think about) didn't own a single pair of shoes. He didn't really want to wear loafers, but it was either that or go barefoot.

Creeping down the stairs, he saw the woman he was allegedly married to watching a game show on the television while a toddler gnawed on the coffee table. He tried to tiptoe around to get his wallet and car keys, but unfortunately for him, the wife had excellent hearing.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Uh. I need to buy. Y'know... a present for you." He winced and hoped the explanation was sufficient to get him out of the house. Apparently it was, as the wife brooked no further protest, and Nathan was free to go to the garage.

To find a minivan.

He idly prayed that he wouldn't get any kid germs as he got in the van and gunned it away from the house. The portkey thing wasn't that far away, and even though the whole thing sounded kind of dubious, he parked the minivan and went to touch it. In moments, he was in London, spluttering and feeling a little dizzy.

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 09:56 am UTC (link)
Nathan tried to pay attention, he really did, but his eyes mostly glazed over until he detailed the last show. That struck him as particularly interesting, and he would have smiled if he were the type to smile at anything. Instead, he ordered a couple more beers. He was going to ask about the show, when Skwisgaar said something that made him almost choke.

"Toki has kids? You mean, with a woman?" He thought about it for a while, brain putting two and two together very slowly and figured that if Toki could get groupies, he could get kids. He just didn't really imagine Toki having sex.

"Kids. Hn."

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 10:01 am UTC (link)
"Eventuallies he does find out what de ding dong's for, Nathans." Skwisgaar said in the tone of 'duh', "I," he dragged out the syllable before continuing, "turns out to be kind of likes a sort of uncle-person. Is pretty brutal, ja, but I gots a vury cool nieces out of the dealings." He looked over at Nathan.

"Don't worry, dey only come overs once in a whiles. And dey is growns up." And luckily for both of them, one was married and the other was of the homosexual persuasion. "Pickle gots a pet dude. And we has one real roadie, but she is training a somes of other ones right now. Swords and stuff."

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 10:08 am UTC (link)
The family stuff wasn't that hard to process. If they'd all been in a universe where he wasn't around, the band probably would have gone to hell, and settling down would have seemed more appealing.

Nathan grunted noncommitally, and took another pull of beer. "Written any songs? Well. The other you. We should give him a nickname. Like... Little Swkisgaar. Miniskwisgaar. Buddy. Somethin'."

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 10:15 am UTC (link)
"Ja, he is has beens in a whole bunch of bands afore dis, and writes on songs you knows, just for fun. I wrote a half of a songs like, two weeks ago? But is no good, I goings to has to rewrite it and run it through a guy dats not stoned all de times." He looked at Nathan, "For a guy I hates a lot, I sure am glad to see yous."

There was absolutely no hate between them, and he knew that, but well, manliness was at stake and it was girly and unbrutal to actually like someone.

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 10:23 am UTC (link)
The fact that there were songs being written gave Nathan some hope that he might be able to get the band back together. Not making music would surely make him crazier than he already was.

Skwisgaar's statement made his eyebrows raise for a moment, then settle back down into a line. "It's not terrible seeing you again, dildo."

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 10:28 am UTC (link)
The Swede nodded and finished off his beer. He wouldn't tell Nathan about the fact that there wasn't the medical abilities like they had in their own world - and certainly not about his own issues - but he would say, "Hey, you should knows dat uh, we ain't gots our own doctors to does transplants. Takes it a little easy on the booze dis times rounds, hokay?" He muttered under his breath, "Don't needs both of us sick."

He did, however, smile slightly, "We was akshullies waitings for you to shows up. Can't has a metal bands withouts the vocalist? And I wouldn't settles on seconds best vocalist when I knows you going to shows up eventuallies? Was only a matters of a timeframe."

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 10:32 am UTC (link)
Nathan arched a brow. "What kind of bullshit is that?" But then he figured that if he hadn't been around until recently, they hadn't been playing, and they'd probably lost money. He eased up a bit; it did actually hurt, throwing up blood.

"Yeah. I mean, none of you guys can fucking sing. Or write lyrics."

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 10:44 am UTC (link)
"Dat's below de belts, I can writes lyrics prafectsly well enough!" Sure they were in Swedish, but well... Okay so they were written in Swedish.

He huffed, "And you is right, only you and Pickle can actuallies sing, but you is the only metal singers we know. And can puts up with." Skwisgaar smirked, "Sometimes."

He leaned back in the seat. Things had gone well so far, "So, we goes to de castles, ja? You can sees the other dudes? Is almost like home, only shrinks down vury small likes, don't gots no good chefs, and de hire helps is only like, fourths level employees but dey is gettings dere." Things were on the up and up as far as setting up their empire once more.

However, there was one last thing they didn't have, and Skwisgaar needed, "We need a managers. I won't be playings in no sorts of bands dat ain't gots a managers sets up our own dates."

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 10:52 am UTC (link)
Nathan wrinkled his nose. "Pickles can sing that..." He gestured with a hand. "Makeup music crap." He ignored the slight insult, and nodded at the suggestion.

"We could hire a chef, you know. Just leave out the part where our chefs are cursed. Don't think that'd make a good want-ad."

Nathan hadn't thought that the world could exist without Ofdensen, and knowing he wasn't there made him blink. "Yeah, we should get on that. But we can still practice." He knew Skwisgaar had been practicing - when didn't he? - but he would bet money that Toki had just been eating candy and playing DDR.

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 11:00 am UTC (link)
And with the exception of also practicing hippie-crap dance moves and baking pies with his daughter-to-be, Nathan would have been right.

Skwisgaar nodded. "Good. We start on thats right away. You can gets dis band togethers better dan an olds mans." He looked down at the beer supply, and realized that they were almost done, so he decided to help along further. He still was paranoid about being out in public. And any reason was a good enough reason to break his oath of no drinking.

"And we will rock on this world sames as de last." He said, raising a new bottle of beer to Nathan, smug as ever.

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 11:06 am UTC (link)
Nathan raised his glass to Skwisgaar's, knocking it against the (weirdly) older man's. He took a big swig and leaned back. "Be good to get you guys practicing again." For him, it had only been a few days since their last official practice. Who knew how long it had been for the rest of them?

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 11:16 am UTC (link)
"Huh, tells me about its. We ain't got a goods practice since I comes here, alla us?" He shook his head and crossed his arms, "Only me and littlemees is gots any good practice in, Pickle sometimes when hes is piss off, but never Toki." He huffed and shook his head, "Is all dildos, we needs a schedules again. Someone to keeps us togethers to practice on a things." And someone who could make cities crumble with his very voice would do the job just perfectly, he figured.

Skwisgaar raised a brow, "Oh. Dis place ain't so greats to deals on sometimes. About a month or sos agos de whole timestreams is goes fucked and we goes to a whole bunch of stupid dildos times. And Pickle tells to me dat befores dat, dere was somethings into de sodas dat turns peoples de opposite sex. Pickle got turns into a girl." He smirked.

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 11:22 am UTC (link)
"I'll make Toki practice. Or cry. Or both. It really depends on what mood Toki's in." Nathan shrugged and polished off his fourth beer, wanting a few hundred more but unsure if he should in front of Skwisgaar. He decided to wait and see if the other man ended up ordering more.

"... you mean Pickles isn't always a girl?" Nathan smirked, starting to chuckle. "Like... a girl girl? With girl parts? Who checked?"

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 11:28 am UTC (link)
"God apparently dids." Skwisgaar said with a scoff. "Ohhh ja, dat's is reminds me. God's here. Satan too. Aaaand a whole bunch of others things likes dat. P'fft, alls abunch of crazy dildos gods and whatevers no Thor or nothings, is brutal."

He wouldn't be ordering another round, but he did smirk, "Deres is plenties of booze back homes, we is keeps de whole kitchens fulls of it. And I don't feel likes staying outsides de house for longs. I is still gots stupid dildos fans here." He shuddered. "Dey likes on both mes for somethings else." He set down plenty of money to pay for their drinks but they still had about half a dozen drinks a piece, if they were sharing.

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 11:35 am UTC (link)
Nathan snorted at the idea of Pickles fucking a lame deity like God. He wouldn't have settled for anyone less than Hel or Kali or some hot metal goddess like that. "That sucks. Maybe we could summon him." He didn't know how, but hell.

Nathan sifted through the remaining bottles, chugging them quickly. "Well, you're like twins now. You know. Twins. Are... good."

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 11:42 am UTC (link)
"We replace ons a father and sons. Or daughters or something." He shook his head, "Little me is was employ by Disney untils we is fires dem for being not brutals enough."

He was proud of his younger self for such a ballsy move. "Buuut we is tells on them that he is a clones of me."

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 11:47 am UTC (link)
"Clones are totally brutal, you should make a billion of you and then no bands would suck, ever." He thought about that, and wondered if the world could handle a billion Skwisgaars.

Inwardly he was glad that he'd be able to tell the two Skwisgaars apart; it would've probably pissed them off if he couldn't.

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 11:52 am UTC (link)
One had tattoos, the other was a teenager. Pretty easy junk. Skwisgaar the elder, of course, had more metal shoved into him. "Ha, is just what we says we is. I shoulds finds a clone-makings devices aforcause of dats, though. But de worlds is woulds gets too metals to handles on and never gets anythings dones because we'd always be intosides a bedrooms." He smirked.

"Two of us gots de whole fields plays on alreadies. Thinks about it, huh?"

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 11:57 am UTC (link)
Nathan didn't like to think about Skwisgaar and the women he went to bed with - and there were many - so he busied himself with another beer. He drummed his disturbingly not-painted nails on the counter.

"Wait - are we broke? I be the dude I replaced had money. I mean, he had a minivan."

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 12:07 pm UTC (link)
"We is has plentya moneys. Nots... likes, de billions of dollars we is once has, but we gots enough to buys Baja and buildings Mordhaus on it." He eyed Nathan's nails and tutted. Things were just wrong when Nathan's nails were bare and his weren't.

"Ja, you come home now. Things need to get backs to normal."

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 12:13 pm UTC (link)
"Good." Nathan nodded and drank the last of his beers, pleased with the mess that they'd left behind. The idea of being poor was completely alien to Nathan; he just didn't really understand the concept.

"Do you have a car?" He was going to miss the Murdercycle.

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 12:20 pm UTC (link)
"I don'ts drive vury well still." He still was shy behind the wheel. "I gots a roadies though dat can picks us up." Skwisgaar took out his cell phone and looked over at the vocalist, "So whenever you is wants to leaves, dey be heres within abouts enough time to catch a smokes."

Ugh, why'd he have to go and remind himself about that? He facepalmed, "Or... whatevers else is takes in dat amount of times."

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 12:23 pm UTC (link)
Nathan didn't have any cigarettes on him anyway, but he'd expected Skwisgaar to. He blinked and scratched his head.

"What else would we do while we wait?"

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 12:33 pm UTC (link)
"Uh. Dat's a vury good question." He looked around, before huffing a sigh, rolling his eyes and walking up to the bar - where he bought a pack of cigarettes. Lucky for him, they sold them.

He tossed the pack to Nathan, before walking out and squinting at the failing sunset that was straight in his eyes, before pulling out sunglasses and putting them on. "I hates the suns." He grumbled. He called the roadies then, and barked at them to pick them up at the pub, giving the name and approximate location in relation to the closest portkey.

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-27 12:37 pm UTC (link)
Nathan caught the cigarettes and started palming them against his hand to pack them. He didn't like the sun either, but he didn't have any sunglasses. He just squinted his eyes to tiny points, looking to see if Skwisgaar had a lighter.

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[info]goodbettermetal
2008-06-27 09:40 pm UTC (link)
Luckily, the guitarist did, and he offered it to Nathan. "I guessings we gunna has to start on priorities right away. I gunna gets a wants ad out for a healings person. NO doctors, I won'ts listen at dems. And after we is gets a full staffs, we can finallies starts a real sort of workings."

The pampered prince of Metal wouldn't settle for less than historic staffing and the most brutal of all bodyguards. He figured the beefy vocalist wouldn't argue the point, since neither of them knew how to go without the luxuries of the rich.

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[info]blackestblack
2008-06-28 02:31 am UTC (link)
Nathan lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply and exhaling contentedly. "Yeah. I mean, I drink for the band. My vocals don't just happen." He stretched out his legs, hoping that one of the roadies would have some nail polish ready for him.

He wondered what not having a full staff meant, and hoped that he wouldn't have to sanitize his own mics. That wouldn't fly.

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