Andrei Kovac | Peter Rumancek (gypsytrash) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2015-09-07 18:02:00 |
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Entry tags: | andrei kovac, corbin thompson |
Who: Andrei Kovac & Corbin Thompson
What: This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper.
Where: Their Corbin's house
When: Monday, September 7th; evening
Warnings: Angst. A lot of angst. And language.
Drei was already packed before he realized that he was leaving.
It wasn't like he and Corbin had been fighting. Corbin had left for... something, with the band, that Friday. Drei didn't bother keeping track of what was what, never had, just knew that Corbin was gone for the weekend, at a gig or recording in the studio, or something, and it was just him and Sophia in the big house by themselves. It wasn't anything unusual. Normal routine. Drei had cooked, played with her (she'd been in one of the princess dresses that Cady had given her for her birthday all weekend), taken care of bath time and story time, tucked her into bed with a kiss, and then settled in for another night by himself.
Normally, Drei, didn't keep track of things, but for some reason the fact that Saturday had been the one year mark of when he and Corbin had met had stuck out in his head. It shouldn't have been that significant a date. They hadn't started sleeping together that night, he hadn't moved in that night, but it still stuck out, the night that they'd shared a dream, the night that he'd thought something in his life, something big, was changing. That night was still clear in his head, sharing a cigarette and a drink with a guy that he'd never met but felt like he'd known forever. That had been before he'd known about Sophia, before he'd thought that maybe he and Corbin would be more than the kind of friends who saved each other's asses on a regular basis. They hadn't actually called themselves boyfriends until much later, even though everyone had just kind of... assumed. They hadn't assumed wrong. Drei had been committed, pretty much since he walked through the door of Corbin's house the first time and thought that maybe he kind of... fit.
The packing had started Saturday, pulling his things out of drawers, sorting through them, figuring out what was his and what was Corbin's, untangling the threads that had been their lives for almost a year. It had just been something to do, at first. A way to fill his time while Sophia was asleep. He just didn't put the things that were his back in the drawer, once he was done. There wasn't much in the rest of the house that belonged to just him; a few things they'd picked out together, but that had been bought with Corbin's money. It was pretty much just the clothes, and the battered bags that he'd been toting around the country for years before he ran into a smart-mouthed upir with an angel-faced daughter.
It was when he'd looked at the clothes and the bags sitting together that Drei had figured out that he'd made up his mind, at some point, and he didn't even know when. He'd stepped outside, lit a cigarette with shaking fingers and told himself he wasn't actually going to leave, it was just... it was just a bad weekend. He loved Corbin, even if he hadn't bothered saying so. There hadn't been any need to say it, had there? He told Sophia every day, every chance he could, but Sophia was two. She needed him to say it. Corbin didn't. Corbin didn't really need him, except as someone to stay with his kid while he was away with the band.
And that was the problem, wasn't it? Drei hadn't thought about it, when he'd moved in just as gradually as he'd decided to leave, but Corbin's life had been full before Drei had ever set foot in it. He had Sophia, and the band, and Leander who Corbin swore things were over with, but... but his boyfriend seemed to spend more time with the guy he'd used to sleep with than the guy he was currently sleeping with, sometimes, and it was normal to worry whether it maybe wasn't as done as Corbin said, especially when Leander didn't like him for some reason that Drei had never been able to figure out, and Corbin had never been able to explain to his satisfaction. Yeah, Drei knew that there was the band that kept them together, but he was... kind of human. He got jealous, and he couldn't say anything about it without being the Yoko that Leander liked to call him. He didn't have any right to be - he'd known about the band, about Leander not liking him, when he'd decided to get involved with Corbin in the first place, hadn't he? Sure, he hadn't known that they'd had a past, but...
Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, if Drei had something of his own. Something to keep him busy while Corbin was gone... but he couldn't, could he? Someone had to be with Sophia, Drei couldn't run off and go have a drink, or meet up with Juno or Cady for some grown up time, not when he had to take Sophia with him when he went anywhere. Drei was stuck at the house, stuck on his own, and that was what he couldn't take anymore.
If there was a chance that it could have changed... but there wasn't. Corbin was always going to be off in the studio, or at a gig. If Drei stayed, this was going to be the rest of his life, while he got older and Corbin stayed young and hot and a rock star forever, unless the band broke up for some reason, and that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon. Sure, there'd be a point when Sophia was old enough that she didn't need him around all the time anymore, and she'd move out, but that was sixteen years away. He'd be in his forties. That was a long time to wait to start having a life of his own again. He'd turned twenty-eight almost three months ago, but thinking of all the years to come that would be just like the last one had started making him feel really fucking old.
He'd spent extra time with Sophia that night, keeping her tucked up close to him. He'd made her favorite supper, gave her bubbles in her bath, sang an extra song and read an extra story, and then when it had been time for her to sleep he'd scooped her up into his arms and hugged her as tight as he could without hurting her, told her over and over how much he loved her. She'd squeezed his face between her little hands and given him a wet kiss, and he'd almost gone and unpacked his bags because how could he leave that, walk away from that little girl? Shit, what if Corbin said he couldn't see her anymore?
It was the thought of sixteen more years that kept the bags packed. He left them by the front door as he sat on the couch, elbows braced on his knees and face buried in his hands, waiting to hear the lock turn. Corbin would be home, soon, and then Drei would be gone.