Ryder Wilkinson | Peeta Mellark (shinyisfalse) wrote in thereincarnates, @ 2013-08-19 18:57:00 |
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Entry tags: | !au, !plot week, lana ross, ryder wilkinson |
Who: Ryder Wilkinson and Lana Ross
What: Dealing with it all.
Where: Motel!
When: After the arena, on the run.
Warnings: Nightmare-fuel stuff. Sexual situations? Man, just slap a big warning on this thing re: everything, I don't even know myself.
Life had gotten worse. There had been another arena. This was the third arena for Ryder, sort of, but for Peeta, it was the fourth. If that made sense. In any case, that was way more arenas then someone could take and still be able to keep a lid on their panic. It's what would make someone drink, do drugs, do whatever they could to just forget about it. To forget about the friends you'd watched die, the ones you were watching die again, and everyone could forgive you losing a grip on reality, right?
Except you. You couldn't forgive yourself for losing a grip on reality. Peeta had that already, that guilt that his losing grip killed another man, but Ryder had more of it. Once they'd gotten out of that hell, he hadn't been able to focus, hadn't been able to deal with it. Not until he was in the safe place to be, once they were free from there. Ryder didn't know what was real and what wasn't, not anymore, but since everything terrible seemed to be real, he found that he didn't need to ask.
He'd stopped taking all those medications he was on a long time ago, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to think this clearly, despite Peeta. Because he was thinking clearly, they both were, for the first time, but it felt like it was too late. Ryder and Lana had taken to sleeping next to each other, much like they had before, because it was the only way to solve nightmares. But right now, Ryder couldn't sleep. So he watched, and protected, as if anything could get to them right here and now.