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Alex (fatheralex) wrote in thefield,
@ 2009-06-21 11:40:00

Entry tags:

alex, analiese, bazzer, cross, delilah, group, helena, kenneth, rowan, ryan, sophie, thorne, z - 1st tribe - day 25

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
Who: Alex & OPEN
When: Day 25, morning
What: Graveside funeral for Quinn
Where: at the newly created cemetery

Alex had spent some time since he had found out that Quinn had died going around the camp and asking questions about the man, finding out as much as possible. The love of games, of gambling, of life had stuck out in Alex's mind. Now though, it was time for one of the jobs he hated most as a priest. The funeral.

It was impossible to celebrate a funeral mass here in this place, but that did not mean that he could not conduct a funeral. Thanks to the bible that had been found it was much easier to do. He wasn't sure that Quinn would have wanted a Catholic funeral anyways, though funerals were less for the deceased and more for the living. He had anointed the body with water as he had done for Jasper when he hadn't been sure if she would survive. There was a heaven, he believed in that fully.

Standing at the head of the grace, Quinn's body already laying there, no casket, no flowers, nothing, it was a stark reminder of what came into this world with and what they took with them as well in the end. Nothing. Clearing his throat, Alex looked around at those assembled and began by crossing himself and then Quinn, "O God, by Your mercy rest is given to the souls of the faithful, be please to bless this grave. Appoint Your holy angels to guard it and set free from all the chains of sin and the soul of him whose body is buried here, so that with all Thy saints he may rejoice in Thee for ever. Through Christ our Lord. Amen."

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tothebones
2009-06-21 11:00 am UTC (link)

Delilah was there, standing with her arms crossed over her stomach, eyes red and puffy from nearly a full day of crying the day before. And some that morning. She'd come back from her excursion with Ryan -- and finding her new shoes -- to hear of Quinn's sudden death. She didn't know him very well, sure, but he'd been nice to her on her first day, and that counted for something. It had just been such unexpected, flooring news. It shouldn't have been; they were sort of in the wild, after all, but it just ... was. It also really made her think about where her red Chucks might've come from, and that wasn't the most pleasant. Though there was no way she was giving them up now. It may have been bad luck and bad karma and bad everything, but it was survival, and there wasn't going to be a Payless anywhere to stumble into.

She sniffled a bit at the Father's words, reaching up to wipe away a couple of eye-leaks. It was good he was getting a funeral. Really good. They were still civil. Delilah bit into the knuckle of her thumb and murmured "Amen" around it.

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anableue
2009-06-21 11:53 pm UTC (link)

Analiese was standing not far from Delilah, wearing the huge sweater she'd had in her bedclothes over her pajamas to shield her against the gloomy day and yet still shivering. She was watching Alex cross himself and then the dead man with something like fascination. She'd seen that done before in movies, but never in real life. Her family had been Southern Baptist, and while Analiese had stopped going to church herself several years ago, she only had experience with Baptist funerals. Open casket, the oppressive scent of flowers everywhere, photographs often taken of the dead body all dressed up and laid out to greet Eternity. Food after the ceremony, and as much laughter as tears, usually.

This was different, and she didn't know what to make of it. Possibly she was distracting herself from the fact that somebody was dead. It didn't quite seem real. The stiff breeze whipped her hair around, and she wrapped her arms tightly around herself, just watching and listening.

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blindsides
2009-06-22 01:19 pm UTC (link)

Ryan was standing not far behind Delilah and Analiese, his head lowered a little, his blue eyes focused on nothing in particular. The ground, maybe... what he could see of it. He was not here because he was religious, certainly, but because he felt as if he should be. He could be attending the funeral of anyone here. Helena, Rowan, Thorne, Delilah, one of the little children Jasper'd brought to the camp. Payne, Clay, Cross, Arlo, Bazzer. Any of them. That thought bothered him considerably.

If this was supposed to be soothing, it wasn't working for Ryan. Some of the words Alex was saying reminded him of what he didn't like about religion. Fear, guilt. Chains of sin, really? He was antsy and uncomfortable, but he stood still, chewing on the inside of his lip.

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lostchu
2009-06-22 05:47 pm UTC (link)

Helena had plaited her hair (it was getting unmanagable) into a neat braid and then wound it into a knot, stuck through with eleboar quills to hold it in place. She wore her pajamas and the bathrobe that Cross had given her, it's vibrant colour seeming to deny the day and the occassion. She didn't look like a funeral attendee, she looked like a woman who was dragged out of her boudoire and forced to stand beside the hole in the ground. All that she lacked was a pair of fuzzy slippers but her hand made sandals filled the bill. She swallowed thickly as she gazed down at Quinn's naked body. Ken and Alex had carefully removed Quinn's gray and black plaid flannel pj pants, folding them and setting them aside with some washing that needed to be done. There were several people who had insifficient clothing for the weather. It just didn't seem right to send Quinn into the ground with a bit of fabric that might contribute to saving someone's life here. She stepped closer to Ryan and rested a hand on his shoulder as they listened.

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colonelgibson
2009-06-22 06:43 pm UTC (link)

Kenneth moved up behind Helena and rested his hands on her shoulders even as she touched Ryan. He was stony faced and stoic as he stood watching Alex. He hadn't known Quinn well, but that wasn't why, he was simply used to being the pillar others leaned on. Kenneth could no longer count the number of funerals he'd attended, but they far outnumbered the weddings, even including his own due to his choice of profession. He would deal with his own emotions later.

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winged_bazzer
2009-06-22 06:56 pm UTC (link)

Bazzer was sticking with Kenneth through this funeral, though he knew the older man didn't like him being so clingy. He couldn't help it, funerals made him uncomfortable. The made him remember his sisters and all that happened after that. He didn't hold Ken's hand, though he wanted to. He wanted to just wrap himself around the older man or let him wrap himself around Bazzer. He wasn't picky. But he didn't. He just stood there, slightly towards Kenneth's right shoulder, not quite touching. He was a mess, but he was trying to hide it and was pretty sure he wasn't succeeding.

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blindsides
2009-06-22 07:08 pm UTC (link)

Ryan's head dipped lower when Helena put her hand on his shoulder, and he leaned in her direction, his arm wrapping very lightly around her waist. It was nice to have someone he liked nearby. Two someones, if he counted Delilah, which he definitely did. He wasn't sure where Thorne was, but he knew he had to be terribly upset whether he showed it or not. That worried him, though there was nothing he could do about it right now.

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communeraised
2009-06-22 06:39 pm UTC (link)

Thorne wasn't at the funeral, although he should have been. He couldn't look at Quinn again. He'd spoken with Alex and done what needed to be done to the body as the only one that had any medical experience. They'd taken him far from the camp where the decompostion wouldn't foul the drinking water and Thorne had been one of the many that had taken turns carrying him, then he'd slipped a ways away. He could hear Alex's voice, but couldn't agree with the words. In his family, they didn't do funerals, there were parties to celebrate a lost one's life, but even here that seemed wrong. It was wrong that Quinn was dead. Thorne should have been able to save him, but he hadn't known what to do. Anaphalaxysis wasn't something he'd treated without medication. There were no antihistimines here. Nothing.

Time after time, he was failing. With Jasper, with Quinn...what about when Rowan's baby was born? Would he fail then as well? Thorne had never been a huge fan of western medicine. Ever, but for the first time he was doubting his own chosen path as a healer.

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crossedwire
2009-06-22 10:44 pm UTC (link)

Cross' hands were grimed with dirt, caked with it, and there were smudges on his face and his clothing from where he'd wiped sweat away. He and Arlo had both gotten incredibly dirty from their stint as gravediggers, but there'd been no time to wash. They'd barely finished digging the hole by the time Alex was ready to do the ceremony. He was absolutely not a fan of organized religion after being raised with the semi-hysterical, more than a little bit hypocritical bible-thumping evangelical mania of his mother's religion, but he'd wanted to stay within earshot in case he was needed for anything.

He plodded closer, not noticing until he'd gotten practically up to him that Thorne was standing next to the clump of trees he'd been headed for. Cross hesitated for a couple of seconds before continuing on his course, propping himself with one shoulder against a tree and his filthy arms crossed over his middle. He turned his head to give Thorne the barest of nods to acknowledge his presence. He listened to the faint words of the priest with a calm, slightly blank expression on his face, staring ahead of him at nothing.

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communeraised
2009-06-22 11:06 pm UTC (link)

Thorne looked over at Cross, not sure what to say to the other man. Truth was, Cross was kind of hard to talk to and pretty damn intimidating, but Helena seemed to like him, so that had to count for something. Biting his lower lip, he turned to Cross, looking at his hands and arms. "That...it was a good thing you and Arlo did," he said softly. "Thanks. I mean, I didn't know him well or anything, but. Well..thanks."

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crossedwire
2009-06-22 11:39 pm UTC (link)

Cross' blue eyes turned back to the other man again, and something that was not stoicism or blankness broke through in his expression. It could have been surprise. "Welcome," he said quietly. "No need to thank me-- we all do our part." Or they should. Cross had no patience for those who didn't contribute anything, nor did he think he deserved any extra praise for helping dig a hole with only his bare hands and the most rudimentary of tools.

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	communeraised 2009-06-22 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	"We don't all do our part," Thorne shrugged, "at least most of us try. Even if we do fuck up a lot." He looked over his shoulder toward the sound of Alex's voice. "He shouldn't have had to die over something so simple..." Thorne bent and picked a leaf off a plant, steadily shredding it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

crossedwire
2009-06-23 12:14 am UTC (link)

It was occurring to Cross that Thorne, as the only person in their group with medical training of any sort, would be feeling a heavy sense of responsibility for anything that went wrong. He wasn't sure what to say in response to Thorne's statement; to no one's surprise, words were not his strong suit, nor was consolation. He watched as the doc shredded a leaf beyond recognition, finally saying, "Not a lot you can do for anaphylaxis with no antidote." He paused, his gaze on the twitchy movements of the homeopath's hands. "Doesn't make it any easier, I know."

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communeraised
2009-06-24 02:40 pm UTC (link)

Thorne was actually surprised to hear that from Cross, but he nodded slowly. "I guess. On one level I know that, but on another? I still feel like I shoulda been able to do something, you know? I'm a healer for fuck's sake." He sighed softly and let the bits of leaf scatter to the ground. Glancing up at Cross, Thorne nodded his head toward the funeral proceedings, "Guess you're not one for funerals either?"

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crossedwire
2009-06-24 10:13 pm UTC (link)

Cross felt a certain respect for the man's drive, his unwillingness to accept that there'd been nothing he could have done. That meant that he was devoted to what he did and that he wanted to get it right, every time. He could relate to that. "Not so much funerals as religion," Cross said in answer to Thorne's question. It was not that he didn't believe in God, because he did, in an abstract fashion. He'd simply been put off of organized worship at an early age.

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lostchu
2009-06-22 10:12 pm UTC (link)

When large hands settled on her shoulders, Helena swayed back toward the tall man behind her, turning her face to acknowledge who she thought was Cross. To her surprise, the comforting touch had come from Ken instead of her bunkmate and surprise barely made a showing on her face before it was swept away by a look of sympathetic gratitude. She reminded herself that Ken was the touchy type, unlike Cross who tended to reserve those gestures for darkness and privacy.

Her dark eyes flitted to Bazzer who was hovering at the colonel's elbow looking paler than usual. She tried to remember the last time she'd stopped by the tannery to visit him and knew she hadn't done so since he'd arrived here almost a week ago. That wasn't very good manners and she made a mental note to check in with him soon. She caught Bazzer's eyes turn toward the colonel and thought....just for the barest second...and then the thought was banished by the sway of Ryan against her side.

Not even considering stepping away from Ken's warm hands, Helena bent her head toward Ryan's ear. "Are you alright? Do you want to sit?" She didn't see why they couldn't sit along side the grave. Sure, it wasn't the 'done' thing but who cared? Everyone was reeling in the wake of Quinn's sudden and tragic death. Ryan looked a little ill and the last thing she wanted was to push anyone too far with the recent illness in the camp.

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colonelgibson
2009-06-22 10:22 pm UTC (link)

Kenneth glanced at Bazzer, seeing how pale he was. He wrapped one arm around Helena and the other around Bazzer. Bazzer wasn't the only one looking pale, he realized as Ryan turned to look at Helena. Rubbing his hand lightly down Bazzer's back, he got ready to catch Ryan if he needed to. "You okay, Tiger" Kenneth asked softly against Bazzer's ear, still keeping an eye on Ryan.

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winged_bazzer
2009-06-22 10:40 pm UTC (link)

"Don't like funerals," Bazzer whispered, though they were such a small group that most likely everyone heard it. He knew it was selfish, Ryan probably needed the comfort as much as he did, but when Kenneth wrapped an arm around him Bazzer leaned into it, enjoying the comfort. No one had done this for him at his sister's funeral, which was the only one he had for comparison, he had refused to attend any others since until now. He hadn't known Quinn, but he felt the need to be there. This could be any of them. He'd been told them to man up, to help support his parents, and he had. He hadn't cried, hadn't caused a fuss or a scene or anything. He'd dutifully followed where he was told to go and held his sisters hand when she started to wander away.

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anableue
2009-06-23 08:40 am UTC (link)

Analiese couldn't help but notice the slight shuffling of the people around her, and she allowed it to distract her from the way seeing Quinn's dead, nude body in the hole in the ground made her feel. That wasn't right. Intellectually she knew that there wasn't a lot they could do, that they needed every scrap of clothing and blanket they could get their hands on, but at the same time it offended her sensibilities to see him like that. No casket, no clothes even. When she glanced over and saw Bazzer's face, something made her move as quietly as she could around to his other side. He'd been nice to her, had made her feel more comfortable, and she appreciated that. He might not notice that she was there, but that didn't matter.

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winged_bazzer
2009-06-23 12:06 pm UTC (link)

Bazzer didn't notice that there was someone else next to him at all while the priest spoke. Sniffing loudly, he pushed his glasses up off his face and into his shaggy hair. He didn't want to see. Didn't want to acknowledge, but he had too. He knew that. Bazzer and Quinn had gone exploring though and had found the girls that were missing, dead. And now Quinn was too. Bazzer wasn't superstitious, he didn't think he would be next any more than anyone else, but that didn't stop him from thinking about it. He didn't want to say anything though for fear of throwing up. He hated funerals and did not want to be here.

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blindsides
2009-06-22 11:30 pm UTC (link)

Ryan nodded when Helena asked him if he was all right, still not really looking up. "Fine," he whispered, but he didn't let go of her. He felt very mildly panicky, something about this driving home to him the fact that this was real. Sometimes he could forget, could imagine somewhere in his mind that he was off camping, on some sort of wilderness trip, that he could go home any time he wanted to. He didn't want to be a basket case all the time, so he welcomed this oblivion even though he knew it wasn't actually reality. He concentrated on breathing, on staying quiet and trying to pay attention to the service, because that was what he was there for.

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fatheralex
2009-06-22 10:45 pm UTC (link)

"Ah..." Alex paused, looking up at those assembled. "I want to take this time to tell everyone what I 'll remember of Quinn and that was his love of games. He made a chess set so we could play...we never finished the game. He wanted to make sure that we had something to do though other than work. Because he understood the adage about all work and no play. Does anyone want to say a few words? Anything?" He opened the floor to those who wanted to speak. Generally, this was not something he encouraged at funerals, at a traditional funeral mass it made the service too long and people usually ended up repeating each other, but here, amongst the few of them...it just seemed appropriate.

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soph_bakes
2009-06-23 03:13 am UTC (link)

Sophie had been quiet the entire time. She'd been the one to leave Quinn there, and while she understood that there was nothing she could have done, it didn't make her feel any less horrible. She felt so guilty. Sophie hadn't felt very social at all recently. She still didn't. She had tears in her eyes and was purposefully fighting them back, but as Alex offered, Sophie found herself licking her lips because they were so dry before raising her hand slightly. She wasn't sure if she could say anything over the lump in her throat, but she sniffled lightly. "Quinn was friendly and clever, he helped sort of....save mine and Ro's feet." Sophie had to stop for a moment and force herself to swallow. She'd been with him and she'd left him there. "And he was good about thinking about things that others didn't. I hope he is in a good place." Sophie got out quickly before she turned her face to the ground, her hair falling into her face as the silent tears began to leak out. She felt so responsible, but she did hope that he was resting in peace. Sophie was ready to blend back in and be ignored now. She felt that she probably shouldn't have spoken at all, but couldn't help it.

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tothebones
2009-06-24 06:01 pm UTC (link)

Delilah glanced around in the silence that followed Sophie's small speech. Didn't anyone know him well? Everyone looked uncomfortable being there, and distinctly unhappy. Though she supposed that was normal for funerals. She wasn't thrilled herself. But she could tell poor Alex the priest was struggling a bit, and she would want more than two people to speak at her funeral. She cleared her throat softly and glanced around again. "He was very nice to me when I first got here," she said. Amazing to think that had only been a handful of days ago; though everyone there was pretty much still a stranger, she felt like she hadn't been home for ages. "I really ... appreciated that. He seemed like a really stand-up guy, and I am regretful I didn't get to know him better." There, that was ... really all she had.

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etherslide
2009-06-23 11:54 am UTC (link)

Rowan was standing alone, a hand splayed over her belly where the baby was resting. There was a pressure there, sometimes. An elbow, Rowan thought, or a knee. Just the baby stretching and testing boundaries.

The entire thing felt unreal to her. She'd been to funerals before - two, actually - and both had felt like this one had. Not based in the same reality that the rest of humanity traveled in. Like it was a doll laying in the ground, and the actual person just... went away, like friends sometimes did, and wouldn't call or write or come back. Sometimes you just lost touch with people. It felt like that. It certainly didn't help the doll-like impression she'd gotten with him being so gray and still like that. People were warm, animated beings. Being still was unnatural. And set as nicely as he was, he didn't look real just from the position, either. People didn't lay like that. They sprawled. Lounged. It didn't look right.

Ro eyed the entire thing uneasily, and patted her tummy. She didn't know what to say.

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