ryuzaki (takesthecake) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2015-02-22 20:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, l lawliet, light yagami |
Who: Ryuzaki (L) & Light Yagami
When: February 15th
Where: Apartment 1410
What: Light learns more about what keeps L up at night.
Warnings: Mentions of death, mind games, illness, dubious friendship.
Status: Complete.
The time Light and L spent together in this new world was complicated, to say the least. Now at least L had managed to secure the essentials he would need to do his work properly. There were snacks in the refrigerator, and the candy L had purchased stored in various locations for easy access. The desk in his room was filled with enough monitors and cameras to rival even one of the SHIELD operations rooms, which suited L just fine. He was a professional. He had certain expectations for technology. What hadn’t been so settled was L’s expectations for Light. From all appearances, Light seemed to be integrating nicely into the world here, blending in with the society and making friends and dates using The Network. In some ways, it was encouraging. Kira would fade into the background while Light used his intellect for good. In other ways, the temporariness of this state was still a disappointment. L had poured over their story in the weeks they had been here, even reading several high-level analyses of Light’s persona from the psychologists of this world. It was an interesting interpretation, but L still felt only he knew the true Light: the boy who was the opposite side of Kira. The situation in this world did not call for Kira now, but that did not mean the coin could not be easily flipped again. L’s place in this would soon become similar to his past, and he lived similarly as well. He had no bed or personal belongings. He continued to live minimally, obsessively. Only Watari had once encouraged him to enjoy more than the environment surrounding his work-- but Watari was not here with them now. Light was, and Light had more to do than that. In the few hours of sleep that hit L, he occasionally had memories that were as good as having Watari in his life. One corner of the couch became his strange place to nap when his body threatened to shut down on him. It was here he had dreams and nightmares in equal measure, though no nightmare had been unpleasant enough to wake him, and L was often lucid enough to reason through anything so illogical. It was different this night. Different because L had seen his own end, as well as Kira’s, reenacted hours earlier when L had been doing his research. Seeing their deaths was unnecessary, surely, but L wanted to know everything he could, no matter how disturbing. No matter if L’s few hours of sleep were painful, with hands tightening into fists and his body curling further into itself in the safety of their own apartment. “Shinigami,” he had murmured, and in the dream, Rem had the pen to her notebook. Light had strangely enough been the first to be killed. “Stop.” --- It was a rare evening for Light to be up late, but he was doing some research of his own. In truth, he had learned much about Mona, but he needed to understand more. She clearly had done her own homework, so he would reciprocate as well. He did have to admit: the girl was smart, crafty and everything that he’d expect in an equal. So he was up late that evening, in casual pajamas, doing his research online. Getting thirsty about halfway through his research, Light stretched and rose to his feet to get a drink of water from the kitchen. He carefully avoided the computers and sweets spread throughout the area, thanks to L. And expecting to see L focused on some research or another himself, Light was surprised to find him curled up at the end of the sofa. As he stepped into the kitchen and reached for a glass, his eyes widened when he heard L’s words. Shinigami? Light’s eyes narrowed. Was he dreaming about Ryuuk? The shinigami had little care for them, and Light had known and understood that. Why would he ask the shinigami to stop? Light turned, almost reaching for the glass anyway. But then, a moment of hesitation. He paused briefly, shaking his head, and let his feet pad across the floor until he was standing beside L carefully. He shook L’s shoulder lightly, speaking softly, “Ryuzaki.” -- The shake had done it. One moment L had been reaching toward the Shinigami and the next his eyes had drifted open and Light’s feet came into vision. He wasn’t in Japan anymore, and neither was Kira. It was a welcomed reveal, though L’s pulse still raced to remember the alternative. Without a word, he moved Light’s hand away as he sat up. There would be no way to see Light’s Shinigami here, but L still searched for him as if it were possible. And Rem, the other Shinigami, had not come through with them. The dream had not given L any new information to go by, per say, but it did alert him to something else just as valuable. He moved passed Light as if in a trance, not addressing him. Their apartment was not overly large, and L did not have far to go to their bathroom sink. Then the floor, his knees, sick enough to dry heave if L closed his eyes for long enough. The dream had been entirely too real. Of course he recalled the once innocent Light had been killed long ago. That meant what L had instead pleaded for was for Kira to live another day. That their game would go on indefinitely. L let his hands rest on the knees drawn to his chest. He no longer felt the immediate urge to be sick, but sitting still seemed the preferable option. --- At the moment that L stood and moved to the restroom, Light watched him carefully. He didn’t really know what was happening or what was going on with the other at the moment. Shinigami, hmm? He wondered what he was worried about, what was causing this reaction from L. He couldn’t remember another time when he reacted that way. Approaching him cautiously, Light leaned against the edge of the bathroom. “You were speaking about shinigami just before you woke,” he remarked, keeping his voice soft. “You do realize that without the notebook here, Ryuuk can’t come here?” Of course, Light didn’t know that they were speaking about Rem. He thought first of Ryuuk when it came time to thinking of shinigami. He had to admit that he was concerned, worried about Ryuzaki. He’d never seen this man act this way, but they were here, in an entirely different world, so they never knew what could happen. --- It was strange that Light still went after him when L hadn’t made any indication he wanted to be followed. Curious, really. Light was known to be full of surprises, but not ones that were so sentimental. Not without ulterior motives. “I remember,” L started, tones matching the same quiet voice Light used. He did not dispute Light’s second point, however – the mentioning of Ryuuk’s presence. What was beyond a Shinigami’s capability seemed very little, and L would not presume to understand all of it. The rules that applied in their world may not be the same in this dimension. “The most logical explanation is not often the one sought after in dreams.” It was some mild acknowledgment, though not agreement. But even saying those words out loud helped L to compartmentalize somewhat. He tilted his head up to look at Light curiously. “I apologize for disturbing you. I don’t recall the last time something like this happened. I will return to work shortly so there’s no need to wait.” --- Light had to admit that he was concerned about L. He wouldn't ever speak those words out loud to anyone, but in this case, he was concerned. Concerned for the sanity of someone who he respected and trusted all the same. When L spoke about the most logical explanation not sought in dreams, Light frowned briefly. "You didn't disturb me," Light commented quietly, not really sure how he felt about this. He knew one side of L, but this was an entirely different side that he hadn't ever really experienced.Well, no, that was a lie. Just before L's death, Light remembered his reaction. It was almost as if L had known. Despite all of his desperation to stay clean and proper, Light hunched down onto the floor beside L. He drew his own knees up against his chest, mimicking L's position. "They can't come here, Ryuzaki, and I have no intention of harming you." He was honest in that, at least. He wasn't about to lie there, not when he no longer needed to. There was stlil that side of Light, that side that was Kira, but now? Now he was more the innocent Light who was working along side with L, the one working to stop Kira. That side of him could come more to the forefront here, though it would be wise for anyone to not forget that Light could have two distinct personalities and that he could compartmentalize almost better than L himself. --- No matter what L had mumbled in his sleep, Light had interpreted it to be fear. He wasn’t wrong, but L considered it a bit misdirected. L feared Light’s end, and the being Light became once L was no longer alive to test him. To hold him back from whatever fully immersed Light in his form of justice. “You are a good friend when you choose to be, Light.” L said, though his voice remained mild. “I realize now our relationship has taken a greater toll on my ability to make accurate judgments concerning you. Under these circumstances, I am grateful to no longer be an active investigator with the Kira case.” He bit his thumb, eyes focused dead ahead and unblinking. Light was right: Kira never did harm him. A Shinigami had been the one to write down his true name, so L paid little attention to Light’s earnest behavior now. Although it did seem familiar to the time Light had forgotten all memories about the death note…. even that passing thought seemed to highlight L’s compromised judgement considering all he knew now about their story. He glanced to Light with some somber expression. “This fear is one I have not experienced before.” --- Light remained comfortably at L’s side, settled there as he studied the other carefully. “The Kira case no longer exists here,” remarked Light softly. He drew his knees up to his chest. It was true. Kira couldn’t exist here. The Death Note didn’t exist here. That was 100% true and there was nothing that they could do to change that fact, unless if a shinigami appeared some how with a notebook. He highly doubted that it was possible, though. Part of Light was saddened by that point. He couldn’t change the world here, not like that. His gaze lowered, but it was L’s final comment that caught his attention. “This fear?” he questioned softly, looking up now so he could meet Ryuzaki’s face directly. “What fear are you referring to?” He didn’t think it was simply fear of a shinigami. He knew L better than that. They both did. --- Light was almost stubborn about understanding, which made L only rest his gaze on him longer. There were many ways for L to explain, but he found it best to start at the beginning. “I have never had a friend before. I have never had any reason to put someone’s well-being on the same level as my own. I see now why friendship is damaging to one’s priorities. Yet I also see why one would be reluctant to give it up.” L only paused briefly to make certain he choose his words carefully. Light was no longer such a threat where he could use this knowledge against L. And as L hypothesized, neither of them would remember this conversation if they should ever return to their world. Somehow, it still mattered how L presented these facts. “What I fear is twofold: First, my altered perception, and secondly, for your wasted potential. This includes your safety. I find it a shame your mind is put to rest not long after I am killed. I suppose my dream did share some clarity on what is most important to me. I had not fully realized you had become one of those things.” --- Light still didn’t know why this was so important to share, why this had gotten started in the first place. At least, not yet. “I wanted to be your friend from the beginning, but for other reasons than just desire. I now seek to be your friend, because of how we work together and how we get along.” He managed a small smile, shaking his head a moment at L’s realization. Still, hearing L say that he’d become the most important to him was a bit of a surprise. Light blinked, stretched out his legs, then looked over at Ryuzaki carefully. He had become that important then, had he? “Most important to you?” Light repeated softly, trying to put together what had just been shared with him. L knew everything. Knew he was Kira, knew he had some part in Ryuzaki’s death. Yet still… The world swam before Light’s eyes, only for a second. Ryuzaki surely would have noticed the change in his appearance. His vision darkened briefly and Light’s head dropped slowly. He felt warm suddenly ,far too warm for comfort. He was...important to Ryuzaki? Even after everything...no, especially after everything? --- L pulled his hand away from his mouth, watching Light with more focus. It was a difficult idea to believe Light ever had any pure desire to be friends. Or perhaps the innocent nature of the concept seemed misleading. Light had wanted to befriend L for his own needs and nothing more. L did not voice his doubts though – he would rather be more certain first. As certain as he was of his own discovery, and he nodded when Light repeated the phrase back to him. “I hope you come to enjoy this world, and offer it your abilities without the notebook. As you know, the Shinigami will have killed me when we return. I feel this is the last good either of us will do before the end. It should be worth the years we will not have together.” He loosened the hold he had on his legs, slouching more so against the wall than remaining in his tight ball. “I do not truly believe you have left Kira behind, but it is of no consequence. You are still Light, and I would not choose to be with any other human in this place.” --- He would always be Kira in L’s eyes, no matter what he did or how much he changed. He lowered his gaze, more calm now that that realization struck him. L’s comments had shocked him completely. In one sentence, L condemned him as Kira and acknowledged him as a friend. It was exactly what Ryuzaki did best and he honestly wasn’t surprised. He smiled, but it was more of a smirk, with the corners of his lips twitched upward. “I am Kira,” remarked Light out loud for only about the second time in his life. Maybe the third time, if you counted Mikame and Misa both. “I have done all that you guessed, and probably some on top of that.” He paused briefly, trying to figure out the best way to explain his next ideas. “But, before I was Kira, I was Light Yagami and now I am again. Perhaps, we both can figure out who Light is again.” He gave L an open glance, looking over at him carefully. “Now, come on, then. I believe someone bought an entire candy store for us.” He held out a hand for L, offering him a chance to stand up together. --- The proposal was unusually optimistic in L’s opinion, and he looked at the proffered hand as if it were far more dangerous than any punch Light had ever thrown. Their friendship was a non-choice to L. It had already irrevocably changed them, and L did not wish to withdraw now. His decisions going forward would be centered on how he would deal with Light -- the new Light he could become. L knew this world was not written into any Death Note story he had come across. Only the two of them would decide what happened in their time together here. L found some solace in that thought. “You assume I visited one store.” He offered a small, crooked smile in return before he took Light’s hand to stand. Once they were comfortably up, L leaned against the wall when he let go. The snacks Light had mentioned were not quite so appealing after his dream. He would not be deducing in this state. “Do you wish to return to the person you once were?” It was a very serious question, but L did not let it linger, expression stoic when he continued. “Or will you try one of the sweets?” --- Part of Light wondered how things were going to play out here. They did have a chance, more or less, to start over completely here. It was different, as would everything be. In their world, they both would go back to their deaths. Light had let his own father die, practically sentenced him to death. He’d only cared about knowing the name of Near at the end of all things, so he could kill him officially. “Which person are you referring to?” Light commented sarcastically, wondering out loud himself though. The innocent Light who had no knowledge of Kira, or the person who he was before Kira was ever part of his life? “And why are there only two choices?” Still, he did have to let out a laugh at L’s acknowledgement about the candy store. Standing now and stepping closer to the other, Light managed a grin. “And here I thought you were intelligent. It’s only a phrase,” Light remarked. “I didn’t assume anything.” He crossed his arms, almost casually, then shrugged. “I will try one of the sweets, though you know my thoughts on chocolate.” Light was never one who liked sweets, preferring healthier options over the more sugary choices. |