Anakin Solo (anakinsolo) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2015-01-02 18:02:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, anakin solo, luke skywalker |
Log: Luke Skywalker & Anakin Solo
Who: Luke Skywalker & Anakin Solo
When: 2 January
Where: Potts Tower basement
What: Jedi training, nightmares, & family talk.
Rating: Low
Status: COMPLETE.
Anakin Solo powered down his lightsaber and took a deep breath. After the sparring he'd just gone through with his Uncle, catching his breath -and trying to not look as if he was catching his breath when really he was - was a thing he unfortunately needed to do. But it was good. Ever since he'd arrived, he really hadn't been focusing on this - training, Jedi practice, things he'd lived and breathed constantly at home. He had been dropped from a warzone into relative peace, with no other Jedi except himself and his Uncle, and it had seemed less immediately necessary to push himself forward as he had before. Possibly learning of his death had affected him more than he would like to think that it had - and it had given him reason to just stop. Or more likely, to run into something that kept his mind off of what happened at home. And it had been easy to get caught up in patrols, and stuff with the Allies. He'd never stopped doing basic meditation and practice, or thinking like a jedi, but he had not really been trying to learn or stretch himself at all. But with Jacen here - Anakin was unwilling to not learn more. Plus - he'd spent some time going through the Force Powers sections with Rikki, and there had been one too many skills that he couldn't do that Jacen, apparently could, for Anakin's taste. Sibling rivalry, it seemed, continued regardless of the fact that his brother had turned Sith, and was twice his age, and had nearly twice as many years as Anakin had worth of experience, and even if he had experiences Anakin didn't want there was still some underlying competition that was likely driving Anakin's determination today. There were also Rikki's nightmares. And while Rikki might not believe that Anakin could do anything to help if Onslaught was behind the dreams, Anakin wasn't going to give up on that possibility. He was determined to figure out if there was something, something the Force could offer them that might help. After everything Rikki had said about him being a genius and a prodigy, he had a reputation to live up to after all. And it was possible - just possible that might be behind this sudden attention to his continued training as well even if he wouldn't admit it to anyone - including himself. Anakin hadn't quite been able to tell if Rikki had been impressed, or if she thought that everything he could do had been overstated because the person who wrote his entry had been infatuated. And while Anakin had told Rikki the whole child prodigy thing was a bit much (and he did honestly believe it was), there was a certain amount of him being Han Solo's son, and wanting to impress a girl who wasn't always incredibly easy to impress. He reattached his lightsaber to his belt and looked over at his uncle. "Again? Or something different?" Luke was admittedly a bit curious at Anakin’s sudden interest in renewing his physical Jedi training. He sensed that a great deal of this stemmed from Jacen’s presence here which Luke could certainly understand. He himself had been spending much more time meditating than usual as there were moments when just looking at his oldest nephew made him angry and that was not going to help any of them so he had to retreat within himself until he was able to deal with it. This was good too though, he needed to continue to do this as well and while he had done some sparring with Mara, she wasn’t always around, so it was nice to have someone else to work with. There was also the fact that he missed teaching. Luke had never pictured himself as a teacher and for the first few years he had been a disaster but he’d learned as he had taught others and now he enjoyed sharing that knowledge with others. “I think we can probably take a little break,” Luke said with a smile. “You’ve been pushing yourself pretty hard. Your mind and your body needs to rest.” He walked over to a bench sitting against the wall and picked up two bottles of water, handing one to Anakin before opening his own. After he’d taken a sip, he looked over at his nephew and asked the question that had been on his mind all morning. “Not that I’m not happy you want to resume your training but why all of a sudden? What’s on your mind?” Luke could very easily just find out for himself but he wouldn’t invade Anakin’s privacy like that. “You know that you can tell me whatever it is and it will go no further. I’d never tell your parents anything you didn’t want me to tell them.” Anakin crossed the room took the water bottle offered before sitting down on the bench by the wall. He took a sip of it and leaned his back against the wall for a minute. "It isn't entirely 'all of a sudden'," he responded. Although it was only a half-truth and Anakin knew his Uncle well enough to know that he'd know it. Particularly since Anakin wasn't even trying to obfuscate. He took a second sip and put the bottle down on his knee resting it there for a moment while he sorted words. He knew his Uncle knew some things about the future, with Jacen's arrival he knew his Uncle had found out a lot more. Where initially having his uncle know something about Anakin's specific future had felt like a relief, now Anakin just felt badly at how things had sorted out in the future and that his Uncle now knew it. On the other hand, it meant he was less worried about what he was saying now -- but that didn't make it easier to come up with words. "I think I'd been fighting for so long when I got here," he said finally. "I wasn't ready to think about this. Everything has been so tangled up together, what I do as a Jedi, the battles we've had to fight, everything I've pushed to learn, every past piece of Jedi knowledge that I tried to revive, it was all to keep the Galaxy safe, to keep the Jedi alive, to prove to everyone that the Jedi were part of the solution - not part of the problem. Things were so polarized so when I trained, it felt equally intense. "And then I end up here, where there are no pain-obsessed aliens, or fight for our existence or for the safety of entire civilizations -- it seemed so quiet -- I didn't know how to be a Jedi in that quiet, and so I dropped everything except the basics -- I guess." Anakin ran a finger around the bottle top and looked down at the toes of his boots for an instant. "But part of the reason I got involved with Rikki's Young Allies group was because I needed to do something, even if it wasn't anything as intense as at home, and I am a Jedi. Eventually wanting to do more, be more, learn more -- all of that was going to come back." He looked over at his Uncle and shrugged. "There's a lot I still have to learn." It never ceased to amaze Luke how much insight Anakin had at such a young age. No doubt that came from having gone to war during a time in his life when he should have been enjoying life, training to be a Jedi, certainly not fighting for the survival of his race and losing his own life in the process. Luke remembered that Leia had been much the same way. They were the same age yet when they’d met, she’d been far more mature than he. She’d also been involved in politics and the Rebellion since she was a young teenager. “When I first got here, I didn’t know how to be a Jedi here, either,” he finally said, taking a sip of his water. “I wasn’t even quite sure how to exist here since it wasn’t like any place I’d ever known. There are still times when I’m not certain just how I fit in. Over time I’ve come to see that I have to make time for it, training, meditation, time to just find the Force and let it guide me. Now I’m not saying it’s easy because it’s not but lately I’ve been taking more time to do that.” For a moment, Luke sat there and just looked out across the room. He wasn’t sure how to explain to his nephew what he was feeling right now but he knew he had to try. “I haven’t been sleeping well since Jacen arrived,” he said quietly. “since I learned what happened to him, the things he did. Not because I don’t trust him because the Force tells me that right now, the Dark Side isn’t in control of him. I can’t sleep because the Jedi in me wants to save him while the man in me wants to punish him for taking the best part of me and destroying it. I haven’t even gotten to that point in my life yet but reading about it, just knowing that it happens, there are times when it’s more than I can stand.” Luke rarely talked about his own feelings with anyone except Mara (and before coming here they were barely talking about anything at all) since he’d been here but he knew that this was something he needed to say. And something Anakin needed to hear. “I struggle with what to do, how to reconcile both parts of me and it’s difficult. Being a Jedi doesn’t mean you have all the answers. Mostly it just means that you have more questions and they get harder.” He shook his head with a rueful smile. “I don’t claim to know what brings us here, why we all ended up here but in a way it’s almost as if we’re supposed to be together to figure out how to deal with it all. We won’t get that chance at home.” He took another sip of water. “I’m a Jedi Master, Anakin, and I can promise you I don’t know it all. From what I’ve read, I never learn it all. I don’t think you can. Obi-Wan Kenobi is one of the wisest men I’ve ever known and I only actually knew him for a short time at home but I think even he would say that he never knew it all. He also wasn’t afraid to admit that he made mistakes. Not telling me the whole truth from the beginning was one of them.” He paused for a moment then looked at Anakin. “You’re not Jacen. Both of you are incredibly strong in the Force, I should say all three of you because Jaina is as well, but you each have different strengths. You’re a fighter, you want to do the right thing, you want to help people. That isn’t a bad thing at all. You’re a lot like your mother in that respect. Jacen questions more and it’s easier to influence someone who is constantly seeking. My father for instance. Palpatine played on his emotions and led him to the Dark Side. From the things I’ve read, a similar thing happened to your brother. I’m not saying we should just say that all is forgiven and pretend that none of that ever happened or is going to happen depending on how you look at it because I’d be a hypocrite asking all of you to something that I’m not sure I can do myself yet. I’m just saying that you are you, you have your own strengths and your own weaknesses and those are what we need to work on.” Anakin just nodded. He had been aware on some level that his Uncle hadn't been sleeping well. Jacen's arrival had affected them all he realised, and in the moment, he'd focused only on his own anger with his brother, but days had turned over and he'd spoken to Jaina and Rikki and even waltzed around conversations with his brother, Anakin had become more aware again of it not being just him. It was important, necessary, probably some part of acceptance. He hoped it was some part of acceptance. "I thought I'd put all this behind me," he twisted the bottle cap off, then back on, and repeated the motion before placing the bottle on the bench beside him and stopping the motion, instead working on simple control of his emotions, his motions, and thus himself. The motion was distraction and restlessness and running and Anakin was no longer running - even if he wanted to be. "Grandfather, the Dark Side, all of it. I wanted it to be a simple thing where I said 'that's not me', and then I was done. But it isn't is it? It's a constant --" he frowned stopping before he said battle, because it didn't feel the right word. Anakin had fought the idea of the dark side, the shadow that Anakin Skywalker's decisions had left in his path, for much of his life and even much of his Jedi training. This was different. This was… "Commitment." That was perhaps what Anakin had seen in his uncle for years. That commitment to the light, to the Jedi way, an unwillingness to give into the Dark side even when it was a struggle, and Anakin was perceptive enough to know that this month had been a struggle. It was also what Anakin wanted for himself - even if it was turning out to be more difficult than he'd realized. "How did you forgive Grandfather?" “It took a very long time,” Luke said softly. “a lot longer than most people think. After I found out who he was, I was angry. Angry at Obi-Wan and Yoda for not telling me, angry at him for making me question...I didn’t believe him at first. It seemed impossible. Then after we rescued your father from Jabba, I went back to Dagobah and spoke to Obi-Wan through the Force just after Yoda died and he told me. Since then I’ve seen the movies so I know a lot more about the story than I did but still.” He looked over at Anakin. “I’m not answering your question am I?” How had he forgiven his father. Had he? Sometimes he wasn’t so sure. “It’s a huge shadow to walk in. Everyone knew what he did, how many lives he destroyed and at first I didn’t want anyone to know the truth. Of course the truth always comes out and then I had to deal with it as did your mother.” He sighed. “I knew that somewhere inside him was the person he’d been before. I can’t explain how I knew that but I did. Anakin Skywalker was in there but he’d been overshadowed. When it came down to making my own choice, to stand with him and the Emperor or die, I said no. I wasn’t going to live that life and my father realized that I believed in him and he saved me. Did I forgive him then? I don’t know. Maybe I did.” Luke leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. “I don’t condone any of the things he did as Darth Vader. They were unspeakable, horrible things but that wasn’t the man who fathered me.” He sat up and looked intently at Anakin. “It took me many years to learn to separate the two. I was determined that I would not walk that path but I did for a time. I saw what I could have been and it scared me. I didn’t want to be that person. I was just working all that out when I came here. Or I’d started to. It’s very easy to become addicted to the Force and the power it gives you and I did. I think that maybe that’s when I forgave him finally. When I realized how easy it was to fall. He made a choice and it was a bad one but it was his choice, not mine. Regardless of everything he was my father, I can’t change that. Is it easy to live with? No, it’s not but I’m not Anakin Skywalker or Darth Vader. I’m me and I chose the light and even though I struggle and I know that more struggles will be coming in the future if I return home, I’ll still choose the light.” Luke laid a hand on Anakin’s knee. “Mara gave me some books that take place during that time including the one where she…..” he couldn’t say the word, he could barely think it but he sighed and said “well you know. They’ve been helping me. I have a little more insight into your brother, your sister as well actually. If you want to read them, you’re welcome to. I’m sure Mara wouldn’t mind if I lent them to you. If you don’t, I understand. As to whether or not I forgive Jacen in the future, I don’t know. I haven’t read that far yet.” He smiled. “but here I have to find a way to live with him, knowing what he’ll do. I do know that the man that’s here right now is not Darth Caedus. That much I know and for now that’s all I’m certain of.” Anakin listened. Anger he recognized. He hadn't known Anakin Skywalker. He hadn't known Darth Vader. He had feared becoming his name-sake, but it had always been the possibility of stories he'd heard nothing he knew from personal experience, which made it undoubtedly different. Jacen was different. He'd known his brother. He had trusted that whatever differences the two of them might have about the role of the Jedi, the truth of the Force, the reality of their destinies, that his brother would stay true to the Jedi. That leaving Jacen, Jaina, Tahiri and the others all behind that they would look out for each other and stand together. As his Uncle finished, Anakin put the bottle of water to his lips again and took a drink. "I was angry when I read it all. I was angry when he showed up. I'm still angry, Uncle Luke," and Anakin hated to admit it. He couldn't help but feel that it made him fail as a Jedi. But Uncle Luke had been angry too, was currently perhaps angry even, and Anakin realised his Uncle was still the Jedi in his mind. "I kept trying to ignore that, but the other day when I was talking to Rikki it became clear that maybe I needed to stop ignoring that I was angry. I was burying it? And it felt like it just was making it all more powerful?" His sentences came out more like questions than statements, perhaps still trying to figure out if this was the correct way to approach this. "I know he's Jacen. But I'm so angry at what he does- did- to Tahiri, the way he used me to do it, how much I know he's hurt you and Mom and Dad, it's hard for me to know where to begin. I just know I need to somehow, or I risk faltering myself," his voice took a serious edge. "Maybe part of what I fear is that if I lived it would have been me, or that it would be as easy for me to become that and hurt the people that mean the most to me on some - belief that I was doing what the galaxy needed. I know that I've made decisions, had to make calls that have caused death, pain, loss - I can't second guess those calls or I'd never move forward. But I have never wanted to cause pain, and that's always been the thing I've held onto - that if I don't mean to cause pain, I'm trying to help - I've got to be doing the right thing. Then I listen to Jacen, and it's like he believes he did what had to be done… It's making me re-evaluate everything again. And I'm worried about Rikki - she's got, I just don't want to lose anyone else." Anakin pulled in a breath, focusing, calming, and ran a hand through his hair. "I guess that's part of why this. I need to be working on Jedi stuff." “You’re a lot wiser than you know,” Luke said. “burying the anger does make it more powerful because it eats at you, it consumes you and that’s the path to the Dark Side. When I was on Dagobah, one of the things I had to was go inside a rotten tree which was full of the Dark Side. I found myself facing Vader, an apparition of him, and I was angry for all the things he’d done. I killed him and then his mask faded and I saw myself. I didn’t understand all that it meant at the time, I just thought it was a way of showing me that I could be turned if I didn’t fight it. I didn’t know then that he was my father.” Would have done things differently if he’d known? If Yoda had told him? He’d never know the answer to that question. “One that that I’ve struggled with is that Jedi are not infallible.” Luke gave a little snort of laughter and shook his head. “Oh I went through a period when I thought I was, ask your Aunt Mara about that. She calls it my Arrogant Jedi Master phase. I found out that I wasn’t, I made some spectacularly bad calls and it humbled me.” He picked up his water bottle and took another drink before he turned back to Anakin. “I don’t think it would have been you. You see far more than you think you do, Anakin. You understand so much more than a lot of people your age, Jedi or not. Yes, Jacen believed he was doing the right thing but he wasn’t Jacen, that part of him was gone. Because of who we are, fighting the Dark is always going to be a struggle I think but at the same time because of who we are, we can fight it. If that makes any sense. We know where the path leads and it’s not one we want to walk. From what I’ve come to understand the war changed everything. The Vong did things to Jacen that I don’t comprehend yet since I know very little about them. Not that it lets him off the hook for what he did. It doesn’t but that was the beginning for him I believe.” He caught Anakin’s words about Rikki as well as a sense of concern and he looked more closely at his nephew. “What’s wrong with Rikki? Is she okay?” He’d come to like the girl in the brief time he’d known her and could easily see why Anakin cared for her. Anakin offered a smallish smile at Luke's commendation, but turned serious after that. There was a time he might have laughed with Uncle Luke, but that had been before he had found out everything he had about the future. It was valuable to hear Uncle Luke say it wouldn't be him although neither of them could honestly say for certain, but it did help that his Uncle had faith he wouldn't turn to the Dark Side, or wouldn't have had he had the opportunity. "There's a part of me that wonders if Jacen wasn't right. If he shouldn't have fought in the war. If maybe some Jedi shouldn't. If he hadn't been on the mission - if he hadn't been taken - maybe he would have never been turned," Anakin sighed. "It's hard to not blame myself. But I pushed for it. The whole mission - all of us being on it. I don't know if you've read that bit. I don't know if I want to read what I've already lived. I don't know if reading about Jacen would help me understand him. I don't know if that's the best way to do it. Part of me thinks he ought to have to try to explain it to me. and knowing all that other stuff is just - confusing the issue. I've already read a lot on the Internet. If Jacen cares - if he actually cares about his family still…" Anakin shook his head and changed topics. Jacen was more complicated than Rikki. Anakin knew there was the potential of her needing his help and he knew more about that now than he'd understood in the past. "Rikki's brilliant," Anakin couldn't help a smile crossing his lips. He hadn't believed that Rikki liked him at first, and he still couldn't quite believe that she did, but he wasn't asking too many questions about why she did. "But she might need my help. I don't know. I'm not even certain what I can do to help, but I've got to try to. I guess that's part of this too," he waved his hand at the room around them to indicate the training they'd been doing. “It’s hard to say. It’s not something that you’ll ever know the answer to. I wish I could offer some insight there but I can’t as it’s not something I’ve experienced.” Luke agreed with Anakin. Jacen did offer them all some explanations and he wondered if he’d ever be ready to tell them. “I don’t know what he’s thinking and that bothers me,” Luke admitted. “he’s got so many walls up that it’s hard to know. I only have a sense that he truly is Jacen now. As for anything else, he’s not letting anyone into that part of him yet. He’s even sealed himself off from Jaina. She told me that, I’m sure she’s told you the same.” There were times when Luke wanted to push Jacen, to make him talk about what he’d done and why he’d done it but that wasn’t the answer and he knew it. It was a relief to see Anakin’s smile and Luke smiled in return. “I don’t know what kind of help Rikki needs but if there’s anything I do to help you help her, please let me know. I like Rikki, I don’t like the thought of anything happening to her.” For Anakin’s sake as well as her own. He wasn’t sure if his nephew would be able to bear anything happening to Rikki. “and right now all you can do is try. Training will help, even if it’s not something that requires physical battle, learning to know yourself will show you how to help her.” "I know I need to talk to him," Anakin said. He'd been avoiding really having any conversation with Jacen, but it was beginning to become clearer that he really need to talk to Jacen. Even if they couldn't get very far. Even if it just ended in frustration. Jacen was his brother. And if Uncle Luke was right, and while a part of Anakin rejected the notion, mostly he believed that Uncle Luke was right which brought him back to needing to sit down with Jacen. But that would have to come later. "I don't know how to help Rikki exactly," Anakin frowned. "There's a monster in her world, its name is Onslaught. My understanding is that it killed her once and then recreated her - with her memories, her knowledge - in another world, the one her friend Anya is in. He recreated her to be a string, a connection between where he is, and where she is. He uses that connection to pull through into Anya's world at home, and the only way they know to sever the connection is to kill Rikki," Anakin took in a breath, drawing on the Force to stay calm, although the fact that he was worried, that he really didn't want to lose Rikki this way, or to have Rikki go through this, was all more than likely apparent to his Uncle. "You can't tell anyone this," he added looking over to his Uncle. "I don't think she'd want me talking to anyone else about it, but you know more about the Force than I do… and she's been having nightmares. That's, apparently how it began before." Luke listened to his nephew and it all clicked for him, the sense he’d had lately about something bothering him. “Don’t worry. I won’t say anything to anyone,” he assured Anakin. “So Onslaught uses her as a portal? If she’s here though and this is a different world from where she exists normally, how could Onslaught have found her?” There was a lot about interdimensional travel that Luke didn’t know. He knew it was possible but until he came here, he’d never experienced it. “The nightmares. Do you know what they are exactly? There might be a way to help her with those, help her to fight them off, which would sever the connection without harming her. I’m not sure but there might be something.” He didn’t know if he could offer anything to Anakin and Rikki but he was willing to study, to try and find a way to help her. Besides the fact that he had come to like the young woman a great deal, she was important to Anakin so that meant that she was important to Luke as well. "I don't know exactly," Anakin admitted. "I finally have enough information that I feel as if I might begin to understand how it works although I'm still not certain of everything. I know that he created her so like - part of his energy is in her? That may be how he could find her here. There doesn't seem to be a really good equivalency from anything at home. But it feels like if he's energy that destroys that if we could combat that link he wouldn't be able to get through?" Anakin was quiet for a moment and considered. "I know they're bad enough she doesn't sleep well. Although the couple of times I've stayed over she's slept better," his cheeks felt warm and he pushed through that topic quickly. "She doesn't easily talk about it though. I just know that she's been terrified of what happens to her at home happening here and I get that. If I thought it likely the Yuuzhan Vong would show up here I'd be anxious too. The nightmares might be something though," Anakin pondered the idea. "The link showed up first in the nightmares before and he was able to get her to a place where the walls between the dimensions was weak, and my understanding is that he used the nightmares to do that. She's not a Jedi though so I don't know... I don't know what options we have." “Neither do I but there might be something. The Force is everywhere but not everyone can tap into it. There are people here that I’m encountered that do have some sort of a connection similar to that. Sam Winchester is one. I don’t understand what exactly it is but he has a connection to supernatural sources, so does his brother.” Luke thought for a moment. “Maybe Rikki has something like that if this thing could find her, use her in that way, she’d have to have something for it to pick up on. I don’t know what we can do but I think the dreams are the key.” Luke suppressed a smile when he saw his nephew blush. “Sometimes when the dreams are bad, having someone with you that cares, that helps. The demons don’t go away but at least it keeps them at bay.” Right now he had his own demons to fight and no one to give him that comforting presence. While it was true that the Force did provide that, it wasn’t the same as human companionship. “I think that was what the old Jedi order didn’t understand. Yes the Force can guide you, it can comfort you and show you the way but it’s not the same as a connection with another being. It can work through people too even some who aren’t sensitive to it as far as they know. I believe that even people who come from this world can feel it, they might not know what it is or call it the same thing but it’s there.” The Force affected other people who couldn't tap into it as a source of power Anakin knew. With the exception of the Yuuzhan Vong, most life could be sensed in the Force, and you could use the Force to manipulate, change, move -- and Rikki could definitely be sensed in the Force. It was a presence he'd come to count on, even though he knew she couldn't sense him in the same way. If something happened and she was gone, Anakin knew that he'd know. So the dreams were something to consider. If nothing else, if he could stop the dreams -- then Onslaught would have a harder time pulling her to where she needed to be for him to come through. "Maybe I'll do some reading online, see if there's stuff that might help there. It isn't Tionne's Jedi lore, or a holocron, but it'll have to do I suppose. And I'll talk to Rikki about it too. See if she's even willing to do something if we can figure something out." He nodded in response to his Uncle's words. "Tahiri and I had that, at home," he said softly. "And we were both Jedi, so - it was different than what Rikki and I have. But Rikki has helped me more than once. And I think she'd ask questions if she felt I were doing something I shouldn't be. And that's - worth a lot. Dad's not Force sensitive, after all, and he and Mom do just fine." “They do and even though he isn’t, he senses more than he thinks he does just from being around your mother. If two people care about one another, there’s a connection and it’s not a whole lot different.” Luke reached over and patted Anakin’s knee. “If there’s anything I can do to help either of you, ask me. We might have the same resources here but we can use what we have.” "It's funny," Anakin shook his head at Luke. "I really don't know when it switched from 'I think she hates me' to 'I think she likes me'. Well, I guess, she kissed me, so that was kind of a clue." He shrugged with a bit of a grin and then another question occurred to him. One that had been on his mind for a bit. "Do you think it matters that we haven't known each other very long?" “That’s usually a sure sign,” Luke said. “or when she decides not to kill you. That means she can at least tolerate you.” He thought about Anakin’s question and shook his head. “No. I don’t think it matters how long you’ve known someone. Feelings don’t have a timetable, at least I never thought they did. Sometimes you meet someone and you know know, sometimes you might know and spend a whole lot of time pretending you don’t care but most of the time when it’s right, you know.” There was a pause as Anakin reached for the bottle of water and lifted it to his lips once again. He took a sip and considered what his Uncle was telling him. Rikki was special and Anakin knew that. He didn't think Rikki had ever seriously considered killing him. But there was always that small possibility, and she had really seemed to be irritated by him initially. A smile played at his lips and he half laughed. "Yeah, so - I don't think we're wasting a lot of time pretending we don't care." But then Anakin didn't really know how much time the two of them would have. The Tesseract seemed to be somewhat fickle and he knew people left regularly just like they arrived regularly. "Anyway, so when we were fighting on the Tafanda Bay Spaceport, you did this thing, where you were able to project my position as being different than it was, to the Yuuzhan Vong soldiers we were fighting? I want to know how to do that. Do you know how to do that here and now?" “That’s good,” he said. “time is precious. You shouldn’t waste a moment of it.” It was hard not let a touch of sadness tinge his words but he quickly pushed it away and instead concentrated on Anakin’s question. “Yes I do know how to do that. It isn’t something I’ve had the cause to use very often but we can work on that. I’m sure that it will come back to me easily enough.” Anakin glanced over at his Uncle and reached his hand over to grasp his Uncle's, just for a moment. There was a lot Uncle Luke hadn't really said - and Anakin was mostly alright with not knowing the details of that particular aspect of his Uncle's life, but he was astute enough to know that something wasn't quite what his uncle would have hoped for. After a moment, he stood to his feet again, placing the water bottle back on the bench and turning to his Uncle. "It's - is it more like a mind trick than anything? But it's more than that, right? Because it's actually creating an image that people would see, potentially and hopefully not see you. So there's really two parts, the part where you blend into your background, and the part where you project yourself elsewhere? I've been practicing stealth a bit, actually, and I think I'm getting better at it -- It seemed like it would be useful for the Allies -- but this goes beyond that." He returned Anakin’s gesture, grateful that there was no need for words between them. “Yes that’s right. You’re making people see something that isn’t there but you yourself are actually there.” He stood up. “It’s not difficult, it just takes practice. I think it would be helpful, you’re right. We’ll just need a fairly big spot to practice it in.” "Here?" He asked, glancing around the room and then at his Uncle. The basement had a fairly large place in the center that seemed to be free space, possibly enough - it certainly reminded Anakin of places in the Praxeus where the trainees had been able to do open practice together. Over the past few weeks Anakin had been pulling meditations, and the sort of simple control that allowed him to blend, to simply not be seen. It had become a weird balance of training with Rikki without the Force, and training on his own with it. But he believed both pieces were important. For starters he needed to understand what someone could do without the Force, he needed to not rely on the Force for everything or overuse it -- Jacen had been a reminder of that even if he hadn't already been intending to work on it both for Rikki and because of following his Aunt's advice -- but he also needed to grow as a Jedi. “Yes, this is perfect,” he said. “and I don’t think we have to worry about anyone bothering us down here.” Although two Jedi training in the basement couldn’t possibly be any stranger than some of the other things that happened in the tower. “Are you ready?” he asked. There was no response to his uncle with spoken words, but instead Anakin reached out into the Force filling in the awareness of his Uncle, the building, and everything in the room sliding into place. The concrete they used, the mats, the make-up of the city and the people above him there, but Anakin shut it out to focus on what was directly surrounding him. For this, he needed to focus his awareness into this particular moment in this particular location and this particular task. Rikki was right about one thing there was a lot he could do and there was more he could do. Anakin was confident of that. |