sam merlotte (bordercollie) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2014-07-15 15:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, ruby lucas / red, sam merlotte |
Who: Sam Merlotte & Ruby Lucas
When: Evening, June 30
Where: Sam’s bar
What: Talking about True Blood and Sam’s not so happy future
Rating: PG-13 for Sam's potty mouth, and also spoilers for season 7 of True Blood if anyone even cares about the show anymore ;)
Sam knew, before ever seeing a minute of the new season of the show (it would always be strange to see his life referred to by seasons, as if only a few months of their lives were worth anything), that it wouldn’t have a happy ending. Or at least that they’d go through hell and high water before they got to that happy ending. He hadn’t kept up to date until friends from his world had arrived the first time, and when he’d realized they weren’t all from the same moment he was, he’d tried to get caught up some, lest he get surprised by some bad news. And then there hadn’t been any need to watch, since he’d gotten a whole slew of memories all in one go. He knew he’d lose his brother, that he’d be so angry at his family for so long only to have it blow up in his goddamn face and for him to lose the only chance he had to make it right. He knew Luna would die, and he’d lose out on having that family with her and Emma that he’d wanted, even though he hadn’t actually lived through that yet. He knew how it felt, he could remember the way the air smelled the moment he realized she was gone. He knew about Nicole, too, and the baby. He knew he’d become mayor one day, although he had no damn idea how or why. If it hadn’t been for those memories, Sam didn’t think he would have bothered watching. He had those memories, however, and he had a vested interest in knowing what was going to happen. It was different now. Mondays were usually quiet in June, and that night was no exception. Sam had perched on a stool near the back of the bar, slowly nursing a beer. He should have taken the day off, but there’d been payroll to do, and he didn’t trust that he’d be able to look out for himself if he left the city. Not like this. He’d taken Ruby up on her offer to talk instead. He couldn’t run from all his problems, especially not when they weren’t even in the same world he was in. Ruby was already walking out the door by the time she had hit send to Sam’s reply. It wouldn’t take her long to meet him, and it was clear that he needed to talk about what was troubling him. Somehow Ruby seemed to luck out in terms of the show she was in. Even with the mentioning of her character’s return, Ruby barely saw herself on screen during the episodes. In a way it made things worse. She had to watch people she loved go through horrible ordeals and she couldn’t do anything to help. It made her wonder how much control she really had in her life because knowing the fact that she wasn’t even presence when Mary-Margaret’s child was taken, seemed unrealistic. There was no way Ruby would have let that happened without a fight. So in some way, Ruby could understand why seeing yourself on screen would be difficult. Even more so if something horrible had happened. The feeling of helplessness was one she was very familiar with, and she knew that Sam was the only person here from the show. She could only imagine how lonely that must be, especially at a time like this. When Ruby arrived at the bar, she took in the surroundings and didn’t seem too surprised about how empty the place looked. At least if the place had been busy, Sam would be able to concentrate more on customers rather than dwell on what he had seen, if he would have been able to watch it in the first place. Well that wasn’t the case right now, and when she reached the bar, and she could understand the look on his face that things weren’t good. “Hey,” she said in a pleasant tone. “I see you started without me.” Making a small gesture towards his beer. Although he tried to offer Ruby a smile when she approached, Sam had a feeling it didn’t quite reach his eyes. It was still there, however, and that was something. He was trying. What was going on - it wasn’t her fault, and she was nice enough to ask to keep him company. That meant a lot to him, even if he hadn’t said so. He glanced down at his glass and shrugged. “Wasn’t sure how long you’d be,” he answered, and he hadn’t really been eager to wait. “What’ll you have?” He slipped off the stool and stepped around the end of the bar. “Anything you want. On the house.” “No judgements here.” Ruby replied. “I imagine if I saw something on the television that I didn’t like, I would probably be on my third drink by now.” Ruby thought about what she wanted for a moment. It wasn’t that Ruby was new to liquor, and she had to admit she enjoyed the flavors of the new world drinks than those in the Enchanted Forest. Since Ruby had arrived in New York City and started working at Sam’s, she wanted to set a new goal for herself to try something new. Ruby was used to trying different flavors of mixed drinks, but beer was a whole other story. Well this looked like the kind of occasion where one would drink a beer, so why not? “I’ll try something new, so I can scratch it off my list. How about a Blue Moon?” That was one beer, among others, that her customers asked for during the dinner rush, so hopefully those people don’t have horrible taste. A part of her wanted to ask Sam what had happened, but just getting straight to it didn’t seem like the best option. Of course she wanted to know what was bothering her friend, but in times like this, it’s better to let the other person start when they feel comfortable. It’s not always easy sharing bad news, and it might not even be that he wanted to talk. Even if Sam just wanted a friend to sit with him and have a drink. Ruby could do that too. Sam flashed a brighter grin her way and nodded his head. “Coming right up.” Despite how much Sam really wanted to get it off his chest, finding the words for it wasn’t easy. Sam had never been someone who talked a lot about his problems. He’d always kept that close to his chest, particularly since so many of his issues had to do with secrets he wasn’t comfortable sharing yet. This world had been good for him that way. His secrets were out there in the open -- at least most of them -- so there was no point in being closed off anymore. Luckily, this world had been a lot more accepting of who he was that he’d ever expected. Still, he struggled with how to talk about what he’d seen. With Sookie, he wouldn’t have had to talk. She would have just known. But actually saying the words, that was tough. He was quiet until he came back with a pint of beer for Ruby. “I outed myself back in Bon Temps.” There. That was easier than saying one of his best friends was really and truly gone, or that his pregnant girlfriend had been kidnapped. Ruby eyed the glass carefully, but before she could even take a sip she was surprised by his words. “You outed yourself?” There may have been a slight hint of confusion as she tried to guess herself on what exactly he meant by outing himself. These days it had so many different meanings, and Ruby didn’t know much of Sam’s personal history. Small conversations here and there, but she imagined there was still so much more about him than she realized. “What exactly did you say?” She was curious of course but having an understanding mind meant that she was being more sincere than anything else. She looked back down to her drink and was not shy to take a large drink. She gave herself a moment for her tastebuds to decide what it liked, and after a short moment she looked satisfied. “It’s good,” she replied as she set her drink off to the side to give Sam more of her attention. “I...” Sam hesitated. One of the strange aspects to telling someone about what was on television versus what he remembered was that he hadn’t actually lived through it. In a way, he was telling them about his future. Sam was uncertain how much of what transpired on the show would actually happen to him, but so far, his memories and the show matched up. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I get elected mayor… I don’t remember that part, so I don’t know how come that shit happens, but I’m mayor. And there’s this attack at my old bar, vamps came and killed a bunch of townfolk, kidnapped…” He took in a shaky breath. “My girlfriend. Pregnant girlfriend. I chased after ‘em, and someone saw me shift back. It’s weird as hell, because I’ve been open about it here, and to watch myself get confronted about it - it’s fucked up is what it is.” “Oh!” Ruby was surprised and also felt awful about his news. The two haven’t talked a lot about their home before coming to New York and in some ways, she always just assumed that people back home knew what he could do. Then again, why should she be so surprised? It wasn’t as if Red had been open about who she was back at the Enchanted Forest. Even in Storybrooke, she remembered how awful it felt to see those townsfolk coming after her. “Sam,” she replied now forgetting all about her beer. “I’m so sorry. I know what that feels like. I mean I wasn’t mayor or anything, but I know what it’s like to have people confront you.” Her eyes were sad as she took in other parts of his story. To hear about his pregnant girlfriend being taken, it must have been so difficult for him to watch and she understood that feeling of being helpless. “You’re girlfriend, is she going to be okay?” Ruby wasn’t sure exactly what to ask him because it’s not like she wanted Sam reliving what he had seen, but she was genuinely concerned for his sake. “It’s --” Sam was about to say that it was fine, but it wasn’t fine. It wasn’t okay, what his friends were going to go through, or what they had already been through. It wasn’t okay that anyone had to feel what they did. He’d forgotten that this Ruby didn’t know as much about his life as she did the first time she’d been in New York. She’d been instrumental in helping Sam feel comfortable being open with who he was. Although he’d met other shifters before, he’d never spent as much time with one as he had with her, and getting to know her - falling in love with her - was monumental for him. She’d known his whole story, but the woman sitting in front of him didn’t. “I don’t know,” he answered, because that was the only thing he could say. He didn’t know. He didn’t know what would happen to Nicole. “The strangest fucking thing… I hadn’t even met her when I got brought here. I don’t even know her. But I’ve got these memories of her, and I see us on the show… I feel like I should give more of a damn, but I don’t know her.” He paused for a moment, frowning. “Not that I don’t care what happens to her. I do. But she’s a stranger to me in some ways, and we’re gonna have a baby...” That was something he never thought would happen. It brought a faint smile to his face. He’d never thought he’d be good father material, but it gave him hope. “It’s weird as hell.” Ruby remained silent to let Sam sort out his thoughts, and when he started speaking again she nodded. While she may not know exactly how it felt to watch herself on television in the way Sam had, but she could imagine how strange or even uncomfortable it would be. Ruby had hated that she wasn’t shown much in this last season, but maybe she was one of the lucky ones? It pained her to see her friends going through so much and not once did they show her trying to help. With that being said, Ruby also didn’t have to see first hand of what it was like watching herself. Even if she had looked at past episodes, Ruby had already gone through all of that. Seeing the future however, that’s a whole other story. “You can’t beat yourself up for not caring more. You are obviously worried about her and the baby, but you’re right. You were brought here before the two of you met, you have a whole new life here. I just mean that you shouldn’t have any expectations of yourself in that department. We all know there could be a future of us back home. Just like I’m not the same Ruby that was here last time, nor will I be the same Ruby on the show, if they ever bring her back.” Funny how they two of them had this very same conversation when Ruby was feeling lost. Like certainly works in interesting ways, but she choose to ignore the irony for now. Ruby saw the faint smile and it did tell her that Sam would be all right. “Oh I have no doubt that it’s weird, but at least you found something to smile about. That’s the key isn’t it? When you think everything is going wrong, you have to find something to smile about.” Ruby managed to find her drink again and after taking a larger drink she looked back to Sam. “You’ve been open here about who you are, do you think the way people reacted back home was because it had been this big secret all this time?” No, he thought, she wasn’t exactly the same. Not that it was a bad thing. He wasn’t the same person as he was on the show, either. He had all the memories, but he’d also been through a lot of things he never would have imagined. He wasn’t as closed off as he was on the show, or as paranoid that people were all out to get him. He was more open, not just to being who he really was but to loving someone else and letting someone love him back. “I think that’s part of it,” he admitted, “but I think they’re not as ready to accept that as folks here are. People here… we had a big following already. Lots of fans. People here seem to like vampires a whole lot, and shifters, so that gave us a leg up. People weren’t so surprised because they already saw us on tv, or they read about us, or whatever. But back home… people don’t take as quick to change, or to anything new. And I’m still new. Most of ‘em have lived there all their lives.” “That makes sense.” Then quickly added, “Not that it’s an excuse for how they acted, but it does make this easier to deal with when the people here are more understanding. It’s why the only people beside Gran that knew about me was Snow and Charming.” Peter as well, but she didn’t want to add his name to the list. “I told Belle and well the rest of the town eventually found out.” It wasn’t a day she liked to play over in her head because someone had been killed just to frame her, and she had believed she was the one that did it. The thought did make her miss her friend, Belle though. Sometimes it really hit her how many people from Storybrooke were still missing from her life here in New York. “I want to say I have hope that it’ll turn out okay, but I’m a bit more skeptical towards people and what their reactions might be to something like that.” It would probably do her good to put a bit more trust in others. Even here there were only a few people on her list of friends. Ruby had either known them before or instantly had a connection because of one reason or another. Then again, if this was her first time in the city, she may not have been friends with some of those people now. At least that’s one good thing about her previous life here. It wasn’t an excuse, no, but Sam could see the explanation. For a town already wound up from strange creatures attacking them day and night, it would have surprised him more if they’d taken to the news with shrugs or open arms. Those people had suffered a great deal, and all because of beings who were more powerful than they were, beings they didn’t understand -- beings who weren’t helping them understand. Sam had to believe that had he tried to explain, more people would have reacted like Sookie had. Sam had to believe that the way he was doing it here was the better way. People weren’t inherently bad; they just did bad, stupid things. “I think this is why we got along so well in the first place. You get it. You get what it’s like to be afraid of yourself, and afraid of everyone else. You get what it’s like to feel alone because of what you are.” That was why he’d gravitated towards women who had a side of them that was misunderstood like that, or to women who had lived long enough to see things that people only dreamt of. He took a slow sip of beer from his glass. “I don’t know how it’ll work out. I don’t think it’ll be good. But at least I’m here and not there.” Ruby smiled. “That’s me all right. Ruby Lucas. I get things.” She grinned as she downed the last bit of her beer. “I make it look easy but truth be told I still struggle with it. Maybe not as often as I used to, I had to allow myself to be happy and find those joys in my day to day life.” She nodded understanding how he felt. One of the reasons why she seemed okay with what she had seen on her show. Knowing that the people, or at least some of the people she cared about were here with her. There was nothing she could do to do change what happened, only know in her own mind how it would be played different. There was no sense beating yourself up for something you had no control of. Just try to keep going with what you have now. “You never know. I Imagine it won’t be an easy adjustment, but I can only hope that once the shock wears off, people will start to remember that you’re still Sam. The same guy they know and respect. Or they’re complete idiots.” Sam nodded. That was all they could ever do, be happy in the here and now, and find the good in their everyday life. It didn’t matter if they were in New York, in this strange world where they were fictional, or back in their home worlds -- either way, all anyone ever had was the present. No one was guaranteed a future, and it was pointless to look back, because they couldn’t get what they were nostalgic about back. He knew he should let go of what he saw happening to the people he cared about, but it was difficult. He spent so much of his younger years without any semblance of control, and feeling helpless because of the life he was given. He’d come a long way since then, and to have that control taken away again, that was difficult to see. But, he thought, he wasn’t there. He was here in New York, sitting in a bar that was still very much his own (even if he was still paying back that loan Pepper had helped him get), having a drink with someone he never would have known otherwise. He’d taken control of as much as he could here, and life wasn’t so bad. He just had to remember that. Ruby would help. If he ever started doubting himself or wallowing too much, he could trust she’d be there to pull him out again, and to remind him of what he did still have. “I hope so too,” he answered. If they didn’t remember, Sam wasn’t sure he’d have much of a happy ending back there, and he desperately wanted something good to come of his life. “I really do.” He finished the rest of his own beer and set the glass back down on the counter with a brighter smile. “Ready for round two?” |