Ivy Lynn (letusbebad) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2013-06-18 23:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, derek wills, ivy lynn |
Who:Ivy Lynn and Derek Wills
When:Monday June 17
Where:Derek’s apartment
What:Ivy decides to take the bull by the horns so to speak
Rating:PG
Ivy tried to talk herself out of it, she tried damn hard as a matter of fact. Since they’d watched the finale of Smash together, she and Derek had gone out to dinner then saw a really bad play which they had great fun mocking but they hadn’t talked about anything important. Other than that they hadn’t spoken and Ivy supposed a part of her had been avoiding him. Besides how was a person supposed to deal with seeing their future on a television screen and knowing that millions of people had seen it as well? She didn’t know but it was time to figure it out. Ivy was tired of Derek being....well being Derek. She took a deep breath when she got to his door and waited before she knocked, trying to figure out what she was going to say when he opened the door. His post on the network about someone named Rumiko seemed to indicate that he wasn’t in the best of moods and while that might have stopped some people, it didn’t stop Ivy. She was also just a little curious about who Rumiko was to him and yes a little jealous although she didn’t have any reason to be. It wasn’t as if she’d been a nun since she’d been here and Derek wasn’t known for his restraint with beautiful women. “Oh what the hell,” she muttered and knocked on the door. When he heard the knock, Derek almost ignored it all together. He wasn't in the mood for company - he rarely was - and he frankly didn't want to have to get up. He wasn't drunk at the moment, at least; a regular teaching job prevented him from being drunk all day, since he was trying to make a good name for himself. If he'd had the tenure, he wouldn't care, but he didn't here. He waited another moment before remembering Ana wasn't in, and then he sighed heavily. Might as well find out what they want, he thought, pressing his lips together as he found the motivation to stand. Derek wasn't particularly heartbroken, but he was pissed off - and he was lonely. He didn't know what had prompted him to agree to living with Ana when he hated having a roommate, but at least they each had their own room now, instead of her crashing on his couch. Ana was fine company, but Rumiko had made him laugh and forget. He peered through the peephole to see Ivy there, which was the only reason he opened the door. "Was I supposed to meet you somewhere?" he asked, not knowing why else she'd be showing up. “No you weren’t,” she replied. “This is an unscheduled visit.” Ivy could tell that he was sober which was a relief but still he didn’t look good. “I had to run out to the drug store and thought I’d stop by and see you on my way back to my place..” This wasn’t entirely a lie. She had gone to the drug store to get some shampoo but she had been on her way down to see Derek when she’d lost her nerve and gone to get the shampoo instead. So she actually did have shampoo but the events hadn’t happened in the exact order she’d mentioned them. “What’s up? You look....” Lost. That was the word. He looked lost but Ivy wasn’t sure she could tell him that. “tired. You sleeping okay?” There. That was safe. He couldn’t find anything odd about her saying that. “Hey can I come in? I’m still kind of standing in the hall here.” “I was getting there,” Derek grumbled, rolling his eyes as he stepped to the side to let her in. “You kept talking. I hear it’s rude to interrupt.” He inclined his head a little towards the rest of his apartment and waved a hand. “Come on in, then.” He waited for her to step past the door before shutting it behind her, pointedly ignoring her questions. He was tired, and he never slept well. That wasn’t anything unusual. “Want anything to drink?” “Since when did being rude stop you?” she asked as she walked over and sat down on the couch, dropping her purse on the floor by her feet. “Sure. What have you got?” Ivy thought this might go better if she had a drink. Not that she had the slightest idea what she was going to say now that she was here. She kept thinking about her conversation with Bridget, what she remembered of it anyway, and how she had suggested that Ivy just show up and tell Derek how she felt. The thing was that she wanted to tell him, she probably should tell him but actually doing it was another thing entirely. “How’s the job?” she asked. “Do you like teaching?” Ivy wouldn’t have guessed that Derek would go into teaching but he was a brilliant man, she always knew that, and he knew a lot about the theatre. Even though they butted heads on occasion he was a visionary and he had a way of getting the performance of your life out of you. He might piss you off a million times in the process but in the end, you gave him your best. He might break your heart too but Ivy wasn’t going to think about that right now. “Rarely,” Derek replied, a corner of his mouth turning upwards into a smirk. It was true that Derek often didn’t care what other people considered to be rude. Whenever he was blunt or harsh with someone, it was more simply about Derek wanting to be honest with people than with him wanting to be rude -- most of the time, anyway. The rest of the time, he wanted to put people off. He liked seeing their reactions, and it was a way to keep people at a distance, too. He headed for the kitchen. “Beer, scotch. Wine.” He peered into the refrigerator. “Orange juice. Water.” He glanced back at her, waiting for an answer as he considered how to answer her questions. Did he like teaching? He didn’t like teaching students who didn’t care about the subject, but that was offset by his teaching college-aged students who were genuinely passionate about drama. That didn’t mean they were always good, but at least they gave a damn. Finally, he settled on something he could say: “It’s not ideal, but it pays.” She’d had enough wine for a while, Ivy decided. “Beer would be good,” she said. “and maybe the job isn’t ideal but like you said, it pays. I’d be happy to find something that pays. I actually offered to sing with Marty McFly’s band believe it or not. We met the week I was fifteen, I helped him buy a guitar. He hasn’t gotten back to me and I doubt it pays but what the hell.” Ivy shrugged. “I found an agent who was willing to take me on so hopefully something will turn up. I’d settle for off off Broadway in Hoboken right now.” She was getting restless and wanted to be back on stage. The fact that she didn’t care where that stage was said a lot about her state of mind. That was something Ivy definitely did not want to think about. “Sure thing.” Derek bent over to pull two beers out of the refrigerator, and he set them on the counter so he could open them up. His brow lifted when Ivy mentioned Marty McFly and his band, and he barely stifled a chuckle over the mental image. That didn’t sound like the sort of job that’d pay well -- if at all -- but it would make for a good story. How often did anyone get to play with Marty McFly and mean it without sounding psychotic? After opening the beers, he turned back to Ivy and held one out. “An agent’s a good start,” he commented, although truth be told, he wasn’t sure how much it would help her situation. His teaching position could be filled by some other professor if he disappeared, and if he took on a directing job, as long as he got it to opening night, his job would be done. Her job, however, needed the longevity that they just couldn’t promise. It was a recipe for being stuck in the chorus forever. “You’ll find something.” She took the beer from him and sighed. “I know. That’s what I keep telling myself. I could always find a job doing something else but I don’t know anything else.” She took a sip of beer and nearly choked as something funny hit her and she started to laugh. “Oh my god,” Ivy said, coughing and finally getting herself together. “I just had this mental image. Ivy Lynn, SHIELD agent. Now that would be funny. I should apply and see how long it takes them to send me a rejection letter.” She shook her head and took another sip of beer which went down this time. “I thought about maybe teaching voice lessons. They have an educational service here. I’m not sure how much they pay but it would be something I know how to do. Or for that matter, I might be able to advertise and give private lessons.” It beat doing nothing and she could always stop if she got an acting job. Ivy knew that chances of a leading or even a heavily featured role were small given her situation but she missed being on stage, even the brief scene she’d done with Captain Picard had felt like coming home again. Derek smirked. "You'd be rubbish," he told her, the smile on his face the only sign that he wasn't trying to be an asshole. He would be just as bad an agent as she would be, unless they needed a director for some sort of talent show. "It's just too bad you won't be able to see their reactions when they get your application." That would be worth it. The next idea was a better one, and Derek shrugged. "Why not? You'd be a good teacher." He meant that from the bottom of his heart. Ivy had the patience and the talent for it that he didn't think he had, but there he was teaching anyway. "It'd be closer to what you want to do than being a barista at Starbucks." “I’m sure that they wouldn’t stop laughing for weeks!” Ivy knew she’d be horrible as a field agent because she wasn’t exactly the type of person that could blend into a crowd. She was her mother’s daughter after all and Ivy enjoyed being noticed which a SHIELD agent would not want to be. “They’d think it was a practical joke.” Ivy thought about Derek’s words and knew that he meant them. She knew that he wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t feel that way because like it or not, Derek shot from the hip. “You think so? I’d feel like I was helping someone at least and if I get yanked back, they could find someone else to teach them.” The more she thought about it the more she realized it was a perfect solution. “I’ll get in touch with the education division and look around outside the Tower too. If nothing else, people know my name even if it’s from a television show.” "Wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, sweetheart," Derek reminded her, even though it wasn't strictly true. He said a lot of things he didn't mean, and he often made a lot of promises he didn't fully intend to keep. Never when it came to Ivy, however, or any other person he actually cared about. He took a long sip from his bottle. "The name's how I got my job," he continued, but nepotism and connections meant a lot in the world they were in. Who you knew went a long way. It was the difference between waiting tables and working in a show. It was nothing to be ashamed of, as far as Derek was concerned. You did what you had to do to get to the top, plain and simple. If you couldn't do that, you'd never get there. "The name, my face." Derek shrugged. "Whatever gets you through the door, use it." “I’ll do that. I’ll be sure and drop your name and even though you know how much I hate doing it, I’m willing to drop my mother’s too.I just want to get back on stage or at the very least singing somehow.” She took a sip of beer, trying to figure out how she was going to bring up the next thing that was on her mind. Ivy didn’t want to sound jealous even if a tiny (or maybe not so tiny if she was being completely honest with herself) bit of her was. “So this Rumiko that left. Were you two...close?” Knowing Derek as well as she did, Ivy was pretty sure they had been or at least in the physical sense and it shouldn’t bother her because it wasn’t as if she and Derek were together at the moment. Even if she was coming to the realization that she was still in love with him. He would probably think she was saying that because of what they’d seen on the show but that had nothing to do with it. No, this had everything to do with the feelings that she’d never really let go of. Maybe the show had made her take a long look at herself but it wasn’t the reason she’d come to the conclusion. "Gotta do what you gotta do," Derek reminded her. As much as he loathed seeing people with no talent get parts that people with talent deserved, he wasn't about to recommend that Ivy not utilize all of the weapons she had at her disposal. WIthin reason, of course. Blackmail was never appropriate. He held back a shudder at the memory and the knowledge that his future was filled with more of the same. His eyebrows shot upwards at the mention of Rumiko again. Although the question was perfectly normal, it sounded strange coming from Ivy, knowing their past and future together. His eyes narrowed a second later as he attempted to understand where she was going with the question. "Closer than I am to anyone else here, aside from you and Ana," he answered, choosing his words carefully. The truth was simple, but he didn't think Ivy really wanted to know. “She didn’t expect much. Just my company.” That answered her question even though he didn’t come out and say it. Ivy wasn’t going to come ask directly because after all she’d done the same thing, sought comfort from someone when she felt lonely. He just happened to be ten years younger and Derek would probably laugh if he knew so she would never tell him. Simple enough. “Sometimes it’s nice to be with someone who just wants your company,” she said and took a long drink of beer. Which brought her back to why she was here. “Derek...” she put down the beer bottle and looked at him. “I don’t really know why I’m here if you want to know the truth. I know I said I was just stopping by to see how you were and that’s true but it’s a little more complicated than that. I’m just trying to figure out what we are to each other. Forget the stupid show. I mean here and now. You and me, the us that is sitting here in your apartment. What are we? Friends yes but is there anything else there?” Derek agreed, and that was why spending time with Rumiko had been so easy. She didn't expect more from him than he was capable of giving, nor did she expect him to answer difficult questions. She'd wanted a good time, and Derek had been more than happy to give that to her. In exchange, he hadn't felt so damn lonely. He was glad that he'd hesitated before taking another drink from his bottle, because her next question was not one that he was prepared to face. Cautiously, he set his bottle down and leaned forward onto his arms, watching Ivy's expression carefully. What were they to each other? Derek wasn't sure. He knew what she'd been to him before he'd arrived in this New York, and he knew what she was to him in their hypothetical future at home, but here, in this New York, he didn't know. "I thought we were friends. And I thought you knew I don't want to let the show influence my decisions here. Maybe I wasn't clear enough." “That’s why I said ‘forget the stupid show’,” she pointed out. “which either you didn’t hear me say or you just ignored that part. I’m talking about what’s inside of you and yes, we’re friends despite everything and we’ll still be friends when I walk out that door. Because I care about you and it has nothing to do with the show or anything else other than the simple fact that for whatever reason I care. Believe me there are plenty of days I wish I didn’t but I do. I know that I hurt you and I’m sorry for that even though I haven’t done it yet. That’s what I’ve been thinking about for the last week or so, the fact that as much as we’ve hurt each other, we still keep coming back.” Ivy picked up her beer and took another drink, picking at the label which was easier than looking Derek in the eye right now. “You don’t do feelings well, I know that. It’s easier for you to pretend you don’t have them than it is to admit them.” She looked up then. “and I tend to let my feelings get in the way. I feel too much sometimes which gets me into trouble. I know that I’ve changed since I met you a year ago, I’m a better actress for one thing, and I’ve grown up a lot even though if you want to get technical about it, I did that a long time ago. So yeah I care about you, that’s the bottom line. Here and now. I care. That’s got nothing to do with anything else.” Derek narrowed his eyes at her, barely containing a sarcastic retort about what he expected her to say. He didn’t think that forgetting the stupid show was as easy as she seemed to believe it was; everything hinged upon it. Their friendship had changed because of what they’d seen. There was no possible way to forget about it, not unless one of the scientists could remove the memories somehow, and as tempting as that was, Derek didn’t think Ivy would agree to it. For the first time in a while, he let her talk. He waited until she had said what she needed to say before offering his own opinion -- whether in a roll of his eyes or in a dismissive wave of his hand. She was right. He didn’t handle emotion well. He never had, and he likely never would. That was a hurdle he’d seen himself and Ivy deal with again and again, and one that he expected would continue to come up. While she’d always been one of the only people who could actually get through to him when he was being a jackass, it was always a bumpy road. “How can you say that,” he started, “when you didn’t want to get back together when I first got here? That changed after. It does have to do with everything else.” And that was the problem for Derek. He’d never had anything real in his entire life. Ivy knew this wasn’t going to be easy and she had to admit that Derek was partially right. Seeing their future play out in front of them had changed things but not in the way he thought it had. “When you first got here, I was confused. I wasn’t expecting you to turn up although it seems that’s a pretty common occurrence around here, people just turning up. That first night I reacted out of emotion, I’ll admit that.” She paused to take a deep breath. “but what you refuse to understand is that I still had the feelings, Derek. I’d done a damn fine job of stuffing them so far down that I didn’t even know they were there but they were. I just didn’t want to get hurt again. And if you want to know if this is real, the only way to find out is to give it a chance. You take chances all the time in your work, you follow your instincts and most of the time it works. I don’t always agree with your choices but you’re willing to put yourself out there. That’s all I’m asking you to do now. Take a chance.” It was the most honest Ivy had ever been with her feelings and she hoped that Derek was listening. She knew how she felt even if she was a bit confused by it all but spending time with Derek here and now was the only way they’d ever be able to sort things out. I don’t want to get hurt again either, Derek thought, averting his gaze to look down at his hands, which were still holding the bottle. All they seemed to do was hurt each other, here and at home, and Derek was tired. While she was right that he followed his instincts with his work, he pointedly did not do the same with his personal life. His personal life had been fraught with bad decisions, and he didn’t trust himself to make the right decision when it came to the women in his life. He’d proven to himself time and time again that all he did was make mistakes. He believed in his visions when it came to his work, but he couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel here. He couldn’t see himself not hurting her. “This isn’t work, Ivy,” he pointed out, heaving a deep sigh and shaking his head. He didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words, or if he even wanted to confess that much to her. “My instinct’s always right at work. I have awards to prove it.” She could fill in the blanks about how he felt about relationships and his role in them from there. “And I’m not going to do this if it feels like one of us thinks we have to, because it’s some sort of bloody destiny. That’s not fair to either of us, and I care too much about you to let you get trapped with me because you think this is meant to be just because of some bloody show.” No -- she deserved better than that. She always had, and she always would. “I’m no good for you, Ivy. You’ve always known that. That’s why you keep leaving.” She sat there for a moment, listening to what he was saying and while a part of her knew he was right, a bigger part of her also knew that for some strange reason they fit together. Ivy got up and walked over to the window, staring out at the street. She bit her lip, trying to gather herself before she answered and then turned around to face Derek. “This doesn’t have anything to do with “bloody destiny”,” she said. “I don’t believe in that crap anyway. We make our own choices and our own destiny. Yes I left because you hurt me and I decided I wasn’t going to let you do that again. I came back though and it seems that I hurt you in the process.” Ivy walked back across the room and sat back down. “which I didn’t mean to do. The truth is that I don’t work with anyone else. Not really, not like I do with you. You get me, sometimes better than I get myself. That’s got nothing to do with anything that we’ve seen or anything that may or may not happen, it’s just the simple truth.” Ivy sighed and leaned her head back against the couch. “My god you’re a stubborn ass but I knew that.” She rolled her head to the side to look at him. “Let me decided what’s good for me and what’s not good for me. Being here has changed me, Derek. I look at things in a different way. This is a whole new ballgame. We might be here for the rest of our lives, we might not be. I just know that I want to see what happens and if it flops, it flops. We’ll still stay friends because that’s what we’ve got at the root of everything. It’ll be awkward at first but we’ll come back around because I love you. That hasn’t changed. Even when I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t, I did. You piss me off sometimes to the point that I could toss you in front of a subway but that doesn’t change how I feel. So there you have it. Get your head out of your ass and let yourself be happy. Or whatever passes for happy in your world.” Derek pushed himself up as she moved about the room, feeling distinctly uncomfortable -- like he ought to go to her and console her somehow, and like he was the entire reason she was even upset in the first place. The conflicting emotions didn't help the jumbled mess in his head, and he waited with his arms folded across his chest, a dark expression on his face. She deserved to have say in what was good for her, that much was true. Even though Derek wasn't as hopeful as she was that everything would be okay, if she wanted to take a chance despite knowing the risks, then he couldn't ask for much else. If she knew the risks and wanted to be with him anyway, if she knew the kind of man he was and wanted to be there anyway -- well, he doubted he was ever going to find another woman like that. Ivy knew him inside and out, and she was still there. That had to mean something. "Right…" He sighed again, his expression softening as his shoulders finally relaxed. "Right. This is what we'll do. We'll start over. I'm not -- I can't promise you anything, Ivy. You know that. Christ, I only --" He'd only gone back to her on the show because she'd told him he was going to be a father, or at least that was how it looked to him. Would he have gone back if she hadn't been? Derek couldn't say. "Let me take you out sometime. Like normal people." “Okay. That sounds good. We’ll go out like normal people even though I’m not sure either of us is really all that normal.” Ivy shook her head. “and I know you can’t promise me anything, Derek. I’m not asking you to. I’m just asking you to give us a shot and we’ll see what happens. We both know what we’re getting into with each other.” She knew that she wasn’t always easy to live with. Despite what she showed the world, deep inside Ivy had a lot of insecurities, most of which had come from growing up with her mother and feeling that she had to succeed. That drive had gotten into trouble though as evidenced by the events that had happened in Boston. That same drive had almost led her to make a decision that she couldn’t take back but thankfully she’d caught herself and that had been the beginning of Ivy Lynn finally growing up. “So take me out on a date. Wine me and dine me. We can celebrate your job and hopefully mine soon.” Ivy leaned over and kissed his cheek. “and we’ll see what happens Who knows? Maybe we’re stuck with each other but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” She knew that no matter how this little experiment turned out, Derek would always be part of her life. While that might have bothered her a few months ago, she’d grown used to the idea. The whirlwind of emotions was starting to give Derek a headache (that or he really needed a drink to calm his nerves about what he just agreed to do), but at least she looked happy. It was more than he could say for himself in that moment, but there was a glimmer of something more nagging at the back of his mind, telling him that a chance, one date couldn't hurt when it was with one of the few women who'd been there for him through some of the worst moments of his life. Never mind how some of the worst hadn't actually happened yet. If he let himself think about that, he was liable to back out now. "We'll see," he conceded, offering a thin smile. He still had a dozen concerns, but he tried to push them from his mind. Their insecurities had gotten the best of them once already -- and yet again in their future -- and if this was going to be any chance at all, he had to let something go. "Just don't buy me out of house and home," he teased, in an effort to deflect the awkwardness he was feeling, "my bank account's not as deep as it used to be." “Whose is?” she said with a snort. “when I said wine and dine, I was thinking a cheap bottle of wine and take out McDonald’s at one of those tables in the middle of Times Square.” Ivy smiled. She could tell Derek was nervous, hell she was too but they had to at least give themselves a chance. “actually that sounds pretty normal to me. Well maybe not wine with a Big Mac but you get what I mean.” Derek laughed. “Okay, I know you don’t think much of me all the time, but trust me, I’m a better date than that.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets, still deeply unsure about how to act and what to say. He wasn’t normally uncomfortable or nervous, and to feel that only made it worse. Derek was the sort of man who wanted to ooze easy confidence all of the time, and that was the sort of thing that made his job easier. If he sounded confident, people fell in line. When he didn’t, there was trouble. “I’ll think of something. When?” Ivy smiled at him. “I know you are. When? Um...what about Saturday? It’s not like I do anything around here really.” Plus it would give her a couple of days to figure out what to wear. She found herself feeling a little anxious which was strange since she knew Derek so well but not in this context. “Just let me know what we’ll be doing so I don’t show up overdressed or underdressed.” “Saturday. All right. I’ll be in touch.” Derek couldn’t help but feel like this was going to devolve into a giant mess sooner rather than later, but he kept that to himself for the time being. She deserved a chance to show him that they might just be okay in the end. Even if they weren’t, at least she’d know she tried. They’d both know, and in the long run, knowing that they tried would negate any of the what ifs that might crop up. They’d been through worse; they could get through that too. He cleared his throat. “What the hell do we do now?” “I don’t know,” Ivy looked at him as if she was trying to weigh her options. “You could always kiss me. Which would mean we wouldn’t have to talk for a few minutes. Of course that depends on how long you kiss me.” She grinned, knowing that she was probably making him even more uncomfortable and loving every second of it. “Or you could relax and remember that it’s just me and I’m not going to bite you or anything like that. Taking me on a date is not going to be torture, Derek, I promise.” Derek arched an eyebrow as he leveled his gaze at her, not taking the idea seriously, tempting as it was. That wasn’t any way to start fresh, and if they were going to do it right, Derek knew that they had to go back to the beginning and fix all the things they did wrong the first time around. And the second time around. He shook his head. “I know it’s not torture, Ivy. Go easy on me, for Christ’s sake.” She knew that facing his feelings and his fears wasn’t easy for him; the last thing that would help was pressure or forcing him into something when he wasn’t ready. “But you can stick around if you want. Guess we could find something on tv.” She wouldn’t admit it to him of course but Ivy was touched that he didn’t take her up on her suggestion. Maybe he really did want to see what would happen, do things right this time around. Third time’s the charm? she thought. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I will go easy on you. Sure, I wouldn’t mind sticking around and watching some television. There’s bound to be something on that is so bad it’s good.” Ivy grinned at him. “We could always watch ‘Duck Dynasty.’” Derek rolled his eyes and scoffed. "That sounds like pure torture," he answered, but he turned to grab a couple more beers from the refrigerator anyway. It was a roundabout way of agreeing to the idea, but at least it wasn't a no. He stuffed the bottle opener into his pocket and headed for the couch, arms laden with bottles. "I vote we turn whatever it is into a drinking game, that way I'll feel less likely to stab myself in the eye." And, he thought, he wouldn't feel the need to overanalyze everything he just agreed to. Ivy wasn't the best distraction from what he fully expected to be a huge mistake, but she was there, and maybe if they could have a normal night like they used to have, the whole idea of risking the friendship they had wouldn't seem so daunting. “That sounds like a good idea. Drinking games do make watching bad TV a little more interesting,” she replied and took a bottle of beer from him. Ivy hoped that she hadn’t made a massive mistake by coming here and telling Derek how she felt but it was done now so she would make the best of it. “and no stabbing yourself in the eye. It can’t be any worse than some of the auditions you’ve had to sit through in the past.” “And yet for some reason, that doesn’t fill me with enthusiasm.” Derek had been through his fair share of terrible auditions, and he dreaded facing auditions every time, even though he knew it was inevitable. If he could simply hand-pick his cast every time, without sitting through auditions of people who were never going to be good enough for him, he would be in heaven. He picked up the remote and turned the television on before handing it over to Ivy. “Ladies choice. Knock your socks off.” He leaned back and propped his feet up on his coffee table. “Let’s just try not to traumatize me too much, shall we?” Ivy laughed and took the remote from him. “Okay then. I will do my best!” She settled in beside him and started flipping through the channels. There was no way to tell how any of this would turn out but at least they’d made a start. Toward what she didn’t know but it was a start. |