InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I was on the moon! With Steve."

Eleanor Shellstrop is (teamcockroach) wrote in thedisplaced,
@ 2018-03-08 19:08:00

Entry tags:

!network post, eleanor shellstrop, junpei tenmyouji, laurel lance, sam winchester

Hope you people are enjoying your time in the weirdo fairy tale lands. As for me, well let's just say the pool's a lot nicer when it's not full of people. ~~Probably wouldn't be that fun checking out those places alone anyway~~

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	bornunder 2018-03-13 01:23 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, but it feels a lot more real when you're out in the world of it, is what I mean. No, it doesn't. It can be really hard to adjust to new things, especially new worlds, or the transition from life to death. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	teamcockroach 2018-03-13 01:40 am UTC (link)
	Oh, I get it now. Sounds like you know from experience. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bornunder
2018-03-13 01:46 am UTC (link)

Unfortunately, yes. I was actually in heaven right before I showed up in a place called Mt. Weather, and then hopped to a few other worlds since then. I've also been to hell, purgatory, an alternate universe of my own world, and a pocket dimension time loop. [...] Probably among others I'm forgetting.

I guess what I'm saying is that it gets easier to trust your senses and experiences once you've seen a lot of weird shit. Either that or you completely lose your marbles, but I'm pretty sure I still have all of mine.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	teamcockroach 2018-03-13 01:48 am UTC (link)
	Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure mine are rolling away on the floor just trying to understand all that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2018-03-13 01:51 am UTC (link)
	I mean, I know my life is crazy, even compared to the experiences of people here, most of whom have been through some pretty weird stuff. But I've had hallucinations before, lost my grip on reality. I know what that feels like. It's not how I feel now. [...] Which doesn't necessarily make me seem less crazy to you, but I'm pretty sure of it for myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	teamcockroach 2018-03-13 02:04 am UTC (link)
	This entire situation is insane; you know that, right? I mean, I know I was a shirt person, but at least my life was normal. Things didn't get forked up until after I died. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2018-03-13 02:05 am UTC (link)
	This situation is weird and unlikely, and yes, it messes with your head. But scientifically, probability - or maybe magically, supernaturally - speaking, it's not actually impossible. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	teamcockroach 2018-03-13 02:07 am UTC (link)
	That doesn't make me feel a whole lot better. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2018-03-13 02:09 am UTC (link)
	Sorry. I was trying to explain, because explanations often make me feel better. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	teamcockroach 2018-03-13 02:13 am UTC (link)
	It's okay man. I just ~~feel kinda lost~~ don't know yet how to manage all this stuff. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2018-03-13 02:16 am UTC (link)
	Well, if you need anyone to talk to, I'm up for listening. And now you know you won't sound crazy, or at least not any crazier than me, for whatever that's worth. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	teamcockroach 2018-03-13 02:16 am UTC (link)
	Thanks, Sam. I'm just feeling a little directionless, you know? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2018-03-13 02:17 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, that makes sense. What directions did you feel like you were headed in before? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	teamcockroach 2018-03-13 02:21 am UTC (link)
	The same as always - straight down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2018-03-13 02:22 am UTC (link)
	You could give up a try. Or even sideways. There's plenty of directions. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	teamcockroach 2018-03-13 02:25 am UTC (link)
	I'm still working out how to get to any other direction. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2018-03-13 02:32 am UTC (link)
	I think the only thing you can do is keep trying, and learn from what doesn't work so you don't repeat it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	teamcockroach 2018-03-13 02:36 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, but I've heard that people are doomed to make the same mistakes, history repeats itself, yada yada? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bornunder 2018-03-13 02:40 am UTC (link)
	Some people are fated to do awful things, sure. But even fate - heaven, hell, angels and demons conspiring against you - still can't ultimately make your choices for you. They can certainly influence them and trick you into doing something wrong, but you can still change things. Speaking from experience again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sam

teamcockroach
2018-03-13 02:46 am UTC (link)

I really hope you're right about all that. In the Bad Place it was pretty much like our un-lifes were just a ton of damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of moments. And I know I've got this second chance or whatever, but it's hard to not go with my first instinct when it comes to some stuff, you know? Because I wasn't a good person, at all. And I know Chidi's been teaching me and I've made some better decisions, but does it matter in the end?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	eleanor+sam bornunder 2018-03-13 02:52 am UTC (link)
	Believe me, I know how that feels. ~~I was~~ I don't know if explaining that further would be helpful, but I can if you want. Otherwise, you can take my word for it. If you want to make better choices, if you try, that matters. Nobody gets it right all the time. If you give up and accept that you're doomed, than you are. But if you push back, you can win it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

eleanor+sam

teamcockroach
2018-03-13 06:28 pm UTC (link)

It's up to you if you want to talk about it.

Sometimes it doesn't feel like it matters, you know? We kept trying to work out how to be good so that we could go to the good place, but...I dunno, it didn't really make a difference to where we went, or to anyone but us in the end, I guess. But Michael believed in us, and we believed in each other, even if everyone else failed their tests except me.

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	eleanor+sam bornunder 2018-03-15 02:03 am UTC (link)
	I'm fine with talking about it, I just don't want to make you feel like your head's going to explode. I know. It does matter, though. Even when it feels like it doesn't. Maybe especially when it feels like it doesn't. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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