InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "the boy is mine"

Ren Waugh-Solo (behindthemask) wrote in thedisplaced,
@ 2018-02-03 17:33:00

Entry tags:

!network post, kylo ren / ben solo, meetra surik (legends), sam wilson / captain america (616)

(027) Kylo Ren
[Meetra Surik]

You'd said something before about pointers.

[Sam Wilson 616]

Hi.

Quentin said that you would talk to people about stuff.

(Post a new comment)

	Kylo force_wound 2018-02-04 01:41 am UTC (link)
	Did yes. Offer still stands, always will. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo behindthemask 2018-02-04 01:42 am UTC (link)
	What sort of pointers? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo force_wound 2018-02-04 01:46 am UTC (link)
	Lightsaber combat, alongside some Force Powers. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo behindthemask 2018-02-04 01:58 am UTC (link)
	~~The lightsaber thing is~~ You're not a Jedi? Or are you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo force_wound 2018-02-04 02:02 am UTC (link)
	Exiled, so no not a Jedi. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo behindthemask 2018-02-04 03:31 am UTC (link)
	Heh. They tend to be that way. What did you do? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo force_wound 2018-02-04 11:05 am UTC (link)
	There was a war, an enemy that if it wasn't dealt with would wipe away all I knew. My Council they said we weren't to get involved. A bunch of us disagreed. I was the only one to come back, so it was a combined bit of being punished for what others had done, alongside simply not knowing what I was and being afraid of that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo behindthemask 2018-02-04 08:13 pm UTC (link)
	You think you made the right call? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo force_wound 2018-02-04 08:19 pm UTC (link)
	To go? Yes. Would do it again, even knowing the outcome. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo behindthemask 2018-02-04 09:20 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think the Jedi are always right. Which isn't to say they may not have some ideas that are all right. I'm not sure about that part, cause I'm just now even willing to consider it, I guess. The Force isn't exactly the property of the Jedi, though. I'll have to think about the lightsaber things, but I might be interested in some of the other. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Meetra | Kylo

force_wound
2018-02-04 10:04 pm UTC (link)

Agree with you on the first part. To me, we're our own judge on matters. What works for one, won't work for the other. Which is where, to me, The Jedi have it wrong. Plus not too fond of the strict adherence to the rules or the Code. Even in my time, that was both hypocritical and in one case even ended terribly.

Course it isn't. Force belongs to everyone, and no one. And fair.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Meetra \| Kylo behindthemask 2018-02-04 11:16 pm UTC (link)
	I wasted too much of my life trying to fit into the code. And in the end, yeah, it was hypocritical - the whole thing. It's not that I'm not interested at all in things with the lightsaber, but I'd need to think about it some. You know I've pulled on the Dark Side before, multiple times, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Meetra | Kylo

force_wound
2018-02-04 11:35 pm UTC (link)

The code isn't meant to be fit into, in my opinion. It has great value, and great lessons, but taking it too literally isn't something that I feel is possible. Funny part is in my time there's an entire order of Jedi who marry and have long lasting families. Nor is it a secret, and is accepted as a part of the Order.

Which is fair. It's your call. And, okay? Isn't a place I can draw of or know much about though.

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Kylo/Sam

captcommunist
2018-02-04 02:56 am UTC (link)

Yeah, I do. I've always worked in a pretty similar field but I went back to get qualified to help people with trauma after I ended up in Tumbleweed since there's so much we can't talk about with locals. ~~I'm not really sure how much~~ He mentioned how it's all confidential? One of the most important rules is that I don't share what people tell me unless I think you're actually going to hurt someone, physically.

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	Kylo/Sam behindthemask 2018-02-04 03:35 am UTC (link)
	Yes. Well, no. I think he sort of did. I’ve never really asked about something like this but he thought it might be helpful. I don’t plan on hurting anyone here. ~~People always think~~ Stupid question maybe, but what do you know about me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Kylo/Sam

captcommunist
2018-02-04 04:20 am UTC (link)

It's usually the first thing I tell people. Professional guideline but I take it pretty seriously.

That's always a good start.

Honestly, not a whole lot. I don't get much time for movies which I think turns out to be a good thing, makes it easier to relate to people when I meet them here. Picked up a little but it basically boils down to, you've done some bad things, but you probably thought you had your reasons, about right?

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	Kylo/Sam behindthemask 2018-02-04 04:29 am UTC (link)
	So if I tell you something, you don't tell anyone else here? At all? Unless, the hurting people thing, but in general. [...] It's not the worst summary I've heard. More generous than some, probably. Some just go straight to monster, and stay there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kylo/Sam captcommunist 2018-02-04 04:38 am UTC (link)
	Outside of hurting people, it all stays secret. On my side, anyway, obviously you can tell whoever you want. Well if you know anything about me you can probably guess I've fought a few literal monsters, and I haven't actually met many people who are completely irredeemable. Most of them would never even think they needed to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kylo/Sam behindthemask 2018-02-04 04:44 am UTC (link)
	Good. [...] That's good to know. Not like there's not a lot of it people know, but not all of it. I actually don't know much of anything about you, other than Quentin gave me your name and said you could help with interpersonal stuff ~~and trauma~~ and I don't always trust myself with things. People here seem to [...] respect you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Kylo/Sam

captcommunist
2018-02-04 05:14 am UTC (link)

Yeah, but they don't know how you feel about things or what you're thinking.

That's fair, you didn't really grow up with comics. Back home I'm Captain America. A lot of the other hero types swap names around a lot but that's one you don't really get to just claim, it's got a lot of moral responsibility behind it that I spend a lot of time trying to live up to. But before I started dressing up in silly costumes and fighting people I came from a kind of crappy neighbourhood, so I've seen a lot of the normal kind of shit as well as the big world-destroying kind of shit. One of those places where more people go to prison than college. I know a lot about low expectations and how they can mess you up just as bad as high ones. If everyone expects you to never even reach the level of decent person and will find anything to be proof you failed, what point is there in trying?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Kylo/Sam

behindthemask
2018-02-04 05:40 am UTC (link)

No. That's almost definitely true. [...] I watched the movie and they don't really cover it at all.

I've heard of Captain America. There's the [...] Steve right? Rogers? Or something? I've not really talked to him, but ~~Quen~~ I know of him.

I didn't grow up in a crappy neighborhood. My Mom was a Senator. So [...] But also my mom was a Senator and a war hero and this is all going to seem ridiculous to you because I had private tutors and shit. [...] Like, how do you miss the mark of what people consider to be decent person when you have all that right?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Kylo/Sam

captcommunist
2018-02-04 07:01 am UTC (link)

They usually don't.

Yeah, Steve was before me. I was his partner for nearly fifteen years before he retired and I took over. The Steve that's here, his world's not been at it as long, I've probably got ten years on him easy.

See, I don't think there's really so much difference between rich people and poor people. If anything, growing up with that much money cuts you off from the rest of society. You might be learning about the philosophy of ethics from your private tutors, but you're also learning rules about the world that are completely different than the ones poor kids do. The consequences of pretty much anything when you're rich and well connected are much smaller than they are for other people. You might get told it's bad to be selfish or rude or ignore people who need help, but if you act selfish and rude and ignore people who need help, nothing bad is really going to happen to you. Hell, you might even be better off for it. But in a poor neighbourhood being rude to the wrong person, like a police officer who thinks he's surrounded by criminals, can get you arrested or killed, and on the other hand helping out your neighbours might mean that when you need help they'll remember it and have your back because they know how important just that small amount is. Honestly I could probably write a whole entire book about this, but the really, really short version is that when you're rich you can get away with things that other people can't. We don't learn best by being told things, we learn best from results and consequences, and if you get protected from consequences you aren't going to learn as well. It's all just theory.

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Kylo/Sam

behindthemask
2018-02-04 07:50 am UTC (link)

I guess it was good to know what other people think they know about me.

I think you've thought about that more than me. [...] Obviously you have.

I never wanted to ignore people who needed help but I don't know if that matters. You're right about being cut off though. Between mom's job, and their reputations, and my abilities - it's not like there were that many people who had anything that resembled my life. I never felt like I got away with things, but I [...] probably did. I don't know.

[...] The past is what it is though. I can't go back and change any of it. I mostly tried to bury it, but that's been difficult to do.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Kylo/Sam

captcommunist
2018-02-04 08:50 am UTC (link)

I studied some of this in college, so thinking about it was a big part of my life for a good few years.

That's the thing of course. A lot of people don't like to accept the idea because of course being rich or white or a man or any of the other things that makes life easier doesn't necessarily make life easy. Bad stuff still happens. It might not happen as much or as visibly, so you don't have examples of how to deal with it, and if you ask for help people can sometimes look at the money or whatever and think that because you have that you don't need help, so when it does happen it can seem like it's even worse when it happens to you. I don't really like to use qualifiers like better or worse for that sort of situation though. If you have problems, you have problems. If only the person who had it worst could complain then that's going to be one single person in the whole world and they're probably not physically capable of complaining. Half the time it would be an endless debate on what counts as worse anyway because one person's complete nightmare is another person's paradise.

Funnily enough I actually know people who mess with time travel on a semi-regular basis, but it's pretty much led me to the same conclusion. Even if you technically can change the past, you shouldn't. It's just gonna create more problems. What you can do is try to understand the past. If you know why things happened the way they did, it can do a lot to change how things happen in the future, and that's especially true when we're talking about interpersonal stuff and how you react to situations. You see a lot of really dysfunctional behaviour in people who were abused as kids. If you're expected as a kid to always make sure your parent never has bad feelings because bad feelings mean screaming tantrums and having things thrown at you, you're going to learn that you can never be honest about problems because that hurts people's feelings. You're not going to know how to actually solve issues, just how to say the right thing to make the other person feel better. Or, if you get punished whenever you answer a question wrong and told how stupid you are, you're never going to extend yourself and learn from your mistakes. Mistakes are the end of the world, so you stick to what's safe and you give up at the first hurdle. You're never going to change that behaviour unless you look at it and consciously realise what you're doing. The one big thing I learned in college wasn't actually anything that was written in a textbook or asked in a test, it was just the basic fact that if you're asking "how can I make things better?" you really need to go back a step and first ask "why are things like this now?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Kylo/Sam

behindthemask
2018-02-04 09:19 am UTC (link)

I wouldn't ever say I had it worse than anyone else. I'm not blind. I just hate it when people act as if it should have been easy to be whatever it is they think I should have been.

So you're saying that we have to talk about the past stuff? Because I hate talking about it and I wouldn't know where to start really. ~~I do~~

[...] But my Mother's here now, and I don't want to hurt her more. And I don't want to hurt Eliot at all. But people keep asking me what happens if he leaves, and I don't know cause he's the only person I've ever been able to talk to without [...] believing he's judging me for what I'm saying.

I just want to be able to trust my own judgement on things. There are things I've done and I thought it was the right call at the time, it was the only thing that made sense. But I look at it now and I think it was a bad call. I don't want to live second guessing everything I do. I don't know that I can be who my parents ~~or Uncle~~ thought I should be, but I don't want to be who Snoke wanted me to be either. I don't want to be selfish or self-centered about things. I don't want people to look at me and just see a monster. But if I've gotten it wrong before, how do I know I'm getting it right now?

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