InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "hello"

james buchanan barnes (whatthebucky) wrote in thedisplaced,
@ 2018-01-19 18:22:00

Entry tags:

bucky barnes / winter soldier (ph), gwen stacy (ph), james rogers, johanna mason (au), john murphy, maya lopez / echo (616), natasha romanoff / black widow (mcu), rogue (616), sam wilson / captain america (616), snow white, steve rogers / captain america (mcu), tina cohen-chang, wanda maximoff / scarlet witch (mcu)

Found the tavern. Someone come get me for when it's time for me to patrol.

[ FILTERED TO TINA COHEN-CHANG ]
So. I fucked up. Remind me to stop doing that, will you?

[ooc; Triggers for talk of death, depression, and suicide in comments.]

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Re: natasha/bucky.

whatthebucky
2018-01-20 11:21 am UTC (link)

I don't know what to do to get it straight. Thought if I slept with enough people, I would get over it. Didn't really work. Thought if I could take some space from Steve here, it would help me remember they're two distinct people. But he keeps fighting against having space between us and I can't say no to his dumb, handsome face that looks like home to me.

I don't plan on replacing the man I loved with him. You know it's not right. I know it's not right. Even Steve knows it's not right. But I think he wants me to and that's why he's not letting me go far.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 03:15 am UTC (link)
	I think he needs to step back, and I think I need he needs to let you deal with your grief. I know that he doesn't want to lose you, but continuing to push you is going to drive a wedge eventually. This? Is not good for either of you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 03:17 am UTC (link)
	I think he finally got it because he's letting me have that space now. It'll be fine, so don't worry about it, I'll work through my shit. I just really hate that I'm hurting him too, you know? Because even if he isn't the one I fell in love with, he's still my best friend. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 03:21 am UTC (link)
	Don't do that. I'll worry if I want to, and you both mean a lot to me. You, on the other hand, need to get out of the damn tavern. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 03:23 am UTC (link)
	Sorry. Already out. Tina only gave me the first day then made me hold her shopping bags. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 04:08 am UTC (link)
	Good. I like her already. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 04:18 am UTC (link)
	She knows me, she knows what works. I'm sorry you had to get caught up in this. Thought I was handling it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 04:23 am UTC (link)
	Don't apologize. Use me as a sounding board when you need one, Barnes. That's what friends do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 04:26 am UTC (link)
	Gonna be honest, been avoiding you a little. You got your Bucky, didn't want to make it weird for him and you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 04:28 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, I've noticed. Avoid him, not me. He's still struggling with the idea that there are two of him and that you and Steve were a couple. I've handled weirder. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 04:46 am UTC (link)
	Sure, but I haven't. Forgive me if it takes awhile? And you got to look after Steve cause he wants a complete break. No seeing each other. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 04:48 am UTC (link)
	Fair enough, and you know you don't have to ask me that. He's one of my best friends. How'd I end up with a Captain America as a best friend? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 04:50 am UTC (link)
	Luck? Trying to figure out the same thing for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 04:51 am UTC (link)
	You knew him before. I was a spy and assassin when he met me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 04:53 am UTC (link)
	I was a shitty little kid. Still don't think I deserve him. Don't get me wrong, he is in no way perfect, but still better than I ever was. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 04:54 am UTC (link)
	He's better than most people, but he likes to get into more trouble than anyone I've ever known. And I worked for the KGB. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 04:56 am UTC (link)
	He does have a tendency to do shit like that. I was not at all surprised when his dumb ass became Captain America. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 04:58 am UTC (link)
	It's a gift. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 05:11 am UTC (link)
	And my eternal curse. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 05:16 am UTC (link)
	You're so dramatic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 05:47 am UTC (link)
	You follow his crazy around for a few decades and come back to me on that one. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	natasha/bucky. blackwidowed 2018-01-21 03:25 pm UTC (link)
	I stand by my statement. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: natasha/bucky. whatthebucky 2018-01-21 04:08 pm UTC (link)
	Let me have my theatrics, it's what I'm good at. (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -