vampiredoll (vampiredoll) wrote in the_dome, @ 2013-12-12 22:46:00 |
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Entry tags: | 04-15-2017, jason, jason and sylvia, sylvia |
chosen
Who: Sylvia and Jason
Where: around town
When: late
Capturing the teenager was like riding a high that Jason wasn’t coming down off of right away. He’d thought it would just be a thing, but it wasn’t, it was a rush and after they’d tied the guy up and thrown a blanket that smelled like the dirt it had been buried in over most of him, he’d left someone else to watch the unconscious guy and gone out to see if he could get into more mischief before dawn. That was the point after all, stir things up to let them know they weren’t as safe as they thought. There were fires burning and Jason wanted to be a part of them, wondering if it would be hard to start his own, but slowing when he spotted someone familiar. He’d been following her for ages, since he’d become a vampire and seen the way they treated her. It hadn’t taken much to figure out she was like him, there were tells, but he hadn’t managed to approach her. He hadn’t been brave enough. But now, feeling that surge of power that came with overpowering someone bigger than him and winning, that had him moving into her path and taking a few steps with her. “It could all be different you know.”
Sylvia stopped when suddenly she was being addressed. She eyed him, confused as to the context of his statement. “...what could be different?” she asked, not needing him to repeat himself. She thought she'd seen him before, though they had never interacted. He just seemed familiar.
He grinned a little, tucking his hands into his pockets. “Everything. The way they treat you. The way you have to treat them. They don’t know do they? What you’re worth?”
Arching a brow, she considered him. “What is it you feel I am worth?” she asked. She didn't know what was going on here, but she was already intrigued. This conversation could be quite interesting.
That was a good start. He smiled more, something that seemed like he hadn’t used it much, but he was trying. “So much more. We’re not...nothing you know? They see us like that, but we’re more. You’re smart, smarter than the others. And now...you’re more than them.”
Taking a moment to pay strict attention to him, she realized he lacked a heartbeat. So, he was like her in that sense. She was guessing that was the 'more' part. “'Us',” she noted. “Were you seen as nothing?” she asked, watching his eyes.
“Is there something below nothing? I was that.” Jason shrugged his shoulders as if it hadn’t eaten at him his entire life. “But now...well they have notice us. Respect us.”
“Interesting,” she said. “Let's walk,” she invited, continuing on her way, but waiting for him to join her. “Why were you 'below nothing'?” she asked. “Who treated you as such?”
That was definitely a start and Jason followed after her, matching her steps. “Who didn’t? Almost everyone did. And I got tired of it. They can’t do that anymore. We aren’t weaker than them any more.”
“Were you hurt?” she asked. “Abused, as it were?” she continued, slowly strolling as they talked. She took in details about him. He looked like he'd been through the wringer, as the saying went. There was a sad cast to his eyes, something that even she picked up.
“They wouldn’t call it that, but yes. And bullied and walked on and avoided. Just like you. Just like with that girl.” The one he’d seen hit her. That had almost sent him into action, but he’d opted to to wait. He didn’t know enough about her yet. Just that she might be like him and it wasn’t time to seem as if he wasn’t interested in something other than hitting on her.
“I'm uninterested in what 'they' call anything. I'm interested in your view,” Sylvia told him. “Which girl?” she asked curiously, though her mind already had an answer. It would explain things, though, if he had witnessed that. Perhaps that was where she'd seen him.
“Then yes. Tortured in some cases.” He pulled at one sleeve, pushing it up to reveal scars far older than the zombies. Cigarette burns, scratches, and one particular gash that didn’t heal right. “The redhead.”
Sylvia slowed to view the scars there, reaching out to nearly touch them but not quite. “That is quite a lot of physical damage, in such a small area of your flesh,” she noted. “And ah, yes. The redhead. She dislikes me.”
“There are more,” he said with a shrug. His arms had been easy targets for foster siblings and parents. Easy to grab and damage. Not to mention a collection of defensive wounds to go with intentional ones. “I was surprised you didn’t retaliate. She could fear you.”
“There were considerations. If you witnessed the event first hand, surely you noted the boy who intervened. Also, I haven't yet felt the need to be violent. It hasn't been a part of my nature so far. If that is what you are referring to, that is. If you're talking about merely intimidation, I feel I would be poorly suited to the task. I am not imposing.”
“I did see him. And again. And the redhead.” He smiled to himself, liking that his targets had lined up like that. “I saw he stopped her. What makes him so important?” Jason didn’t have real relationships with people so the context was even more lost on him than most. “You weren’t. But you could be now.” He shrugged one shoulder. “It isn’t...nature. Well unless I’m feeding I suppose, but…” He flexed his fingers, as if feeling the power he had now. “It’s knowing I’m more. That I can do more.”
“He was the only person who deemed me worthy,” Sylvia answered. “I would have burned to death in my home had he not rescued me. We stayed together through the zombie assaults. He protected me, due to my non-combative nature. I had...other talents.” She considered the rest of his words. “I admit to feeling the change was right for me, that it ‘fits’ me, so to speak,” she shared.
Jason considered that then looked at her again. “Was? Or still is?” If he still was that might make things complicated, but if things had changed...well that might make it all the better. “What other talents?” There was no use in him trying to infer what they might be. He was hopeless at that sort of thing and more prone to blundering his way through with too many questions. “Do you? How do you think it fits?”
“Was. There is another. Possibly two, depending on one's point of view,” Sylvia said. “As for my other talents, I was able to scrounge very well. I could find things we needed, get in and out of tight spots, so on and so forth,” she explained. “Though I do feel I did not contribute nearly as much to our proceedings as Noah did.” She'd never felt she was fully responsible there. “How I think it fits...I suppose it fits because I never did. In the world, with everyone's messy emotions, I never did deal well. I was removed from society before I could create too much of a disaster for my family. Not having an outlook like other people's and being fully aware of such things, that makes it fit. Plus, I suppose I have always had a great interest in things others would consider morbid.”
“So he still is or isn’t?” Jason wondered who else she’d found and how she found them. “The other two,” he said counting the second if she was, “What makes them different?” He listened to her skills, somewhat similar to his, though he’d felt like he’d been purposefully tortured to be stupidly ready for the zombies and going without nothing for days on end. He hadn’t become a better fighter, but he’d been able to hide with the best of them. Hearing her explanation had him speeding up to move in front of her and stop. “All that...all that’s why it should be different. Why...because we’re different, we should be more. No one should have locked you away. Just like no one should have abandoned me. They deserve to learn the error of their ways.” He’d stolen that line from one of the others, but he liked it, the way it sounded. And it sounded right.
“Is he still important? Yes,” Sylvia said, thinking that was what he was asking. If not, she imagined he would clarify for her. “As for what makes them different...” she was going to answer him when he was stepping in front of her and she stopped walking, eyes on his. “I understand your idea,” she said. “However, I don't quite understand the logic behind the idea of 'they'. If we sought to 'correct' points of view of those in my past who shut me away, we would be far too late in that endeavor. As for those here who hate me, I tend to feel I understand why they do. And while it isn't pleasant, I also don't spend overly much time caring about such things. Who is it you want to 'correct'?”
Jason just nodded. She might not like that he had Noah then. No worries though. “Aren’t they all the same? My life isn’t any better here than it was before. In some ways it’s worse.” He shook his head. “All of them. I don’t want to be nothing anymore. You shouldn’t have to hide.”
She kept her gaze on him. “How is it worse?”
“I lost hope. I kept thinking it would get better...and it hasn’t. It’s the same. Which is worse. I didn’t think I’d survive.” Jason shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal because in a way it wasn’t. His life had little value to himself or anyone else.
Sylvia started walking again, nudging him slightly to follow. “What would it take for you to re-gain hope? Or at the very least feel less like you require it?” she asked. “What would make your life better?” She didn't know if she could help, but she felt like she needed to try. He had clearly sought her out for a reason, after all. She was more than curious enough to follow that.
Jason followed her again, though he did shy away from the nudge, putting more space between them now. “A change. Someone new calling the shots. Me maybe.” He thought about the last question, not wanting to answer, but eventually telling her. That was the point, to get her on their side. “Somewhere to belong.”
“What sort of shots?” she asked. Did he want to be his own boss? Just not suffer humiliation anymore? There were endless possibilities. “Somewhere to belong. I guess that sort of thing is pleasant in some respects. You wouldn't feel better being independent?” she asked curiously. “Or perhaps belonging, you, and other vampires like myself?”
“All of them. What’s right and what’s wrong. What’s acceptable and what’s not.” Jason wasn’t sure he was the one to be in charge, but he would like to not have to answer to everyone. And it would be nice to stop being tortured. “Independent would be okay, but it’d be nice to have a home.” He’d never had one those before. “That’s not a bad thing. It’s what I have now.”
“Where are you living now? Or are we talking a more metaphorical home?” she asked. “As for what's 'right' and 'wrong', I have to say, I never quite believed in the same distinctions others have. It was always considered a bad thing, a 'disconnect' as it were, from the rest of humanity. I just find it terribly subjective, is all. What's right for one person is not for another, so on and so forth. We have rules in society because we all agreed to believe in them, but I feel that things are more feral beneath the surface.”
Jason shook his head. “Both.” He didn’t really have a house either, just a space he occupied. “Then maybe it should be less that. Subjective. Whatever. It needs to change. I’m tired of being at the butt end of it.”
“I feel changing society at large is a fool's errand,” Sylvia shared. “What would matter to me, I would say, would be altering one's own environment and the influences in it. Have you already taken vengeance upon those who made you suffer?”
“Some. And some who just deserved it.” Since Noah and his redhead probably did deserve it. “But there’s more than can be done…”
“Such as?” Sylvia asked, watching him out of the corner of her eye.
He shrugged. “Stop being beat down. Stop letting others be beat down. I’m still figuring the rest out. And the others, they have good ideas too.”
Sylvia took that in. “...tell me about the others,” she requested. “And their ideas.” She started them toward the park, just opting to walk aimlessly with him, or find the swingset. She liked the swings.
Jason considered the things. "They want to take over. Chaos, then new order. And something with the sun? I'm not sure how that works, but we might be able to be out all the time." It was something he wasn't entirely involved in, but he'd listened to them talk.
“What will the ‘new world order’ be like?” Sylvia asked. “And chaos...such as the attacks?” she asked, surmising that would be involved. “And what about the sun? Us being out all the time…?”
"We're all no longer human. So less with the humans being in charge. And yes chaos. It's already started." He could smell the fires burning and he'd accomplished his own task. "Turn it off really. Not even sure if it's real in here anyway."
Sylvia fell quiet as she listened to all of that. “I sincerely hope whoever attempts to shut off the sun fails - our sustenance source will be quite poor should that actually occur.” she said first. She considered further, then looked to him again, slowing her pace slightly. “Why are you telling me all of this?”
“I guess. Maybe. I’m not sure. Would be nice to not be stuck in a shitty shack all day.” Jason smiled when she asked, bounce in his step. “I was thinking you should join us. That’s why.”
Sylvia was thinking this one was not very long sighted. She didn't say as much, however. “What qualifies me? What is it you see in me that has you thinking that?” she asked curiously.
Jason frowned a touch. “What I said already. That you deserve better. This would be better.” At least for now. Distantly he also wondered if it would help him feel like he belonged if he recruited someone. If he’d have a companion in things.
“Will anything be required of me specifically? Are there rules? Do I get to know the plans, meet the others?” she asked. If things were really going wrong, and she was literally being asked to come into the inner circle, she would be foolish to pass up the opportunity. Though, it wasn't all altruistic. She was also honestly curious, and had to wonder if this one couldn't be re-directed enough to not be on a path that would clearly lead to destruction.
“You’d definitely meet the others,” Jason agreed. “And I’m sure be let in on plans. Sometimes when they talk I stop listening, there’s one he’s rude and thinks he’s super smart and annoying and another couple are nuts, but they’re like us, different from the humans and tired of being treated like that.” Jason all but smiled at her somewhat interest. “There’s rules I guess, but not like a game or something.”
“I am interested in understanding said rules,” Sylvia told him, definitely not wanting to be stepping wrong if she didn't have to. And, she wanted to help make him feel important to her – her guide, her 'superior' she supposed. Though with how he talked, she definitely thought he didn't even know what he was getting himself into, if he stopped listening, and just because people were on the same page about one thing didn't make them all allies. But he seemed to think so. She wanted to see just how tight knit these people were.
“Like right now?” Jason wasn’t really ready to answer that question right away. Or at least answer it properly. He wasn’t really the brains of this operation in any sense, which meant he was mostly just keeping up with the others. He liked that she was asking, but at the same time, he didn’t want to tell her something wrong.
“Are you unprepared for my being receptive to this offer of yours?” she asked, thinking that could very well be the case. He could have decided to talk to her, with the short sighted goal of initiating the contact after having stalked her, and not thought much past his pitch.
“No...well wait.” He replayed her words until they made sense then realized she was right. “I guess so yeah. I sort of thought I’d have to ask more than once.”
Nodding, she accepted that. “When you've watched me, which I'm assuming you have done at least somewhat extensively, what have you learned about me?” she asked.
“You’re mostly consistent. But...logical.” Which was a hard thing to explain why he got that, but maybe it was the routes she took or just the way she moved. It seemed that way to him at least. “Why do you ask?”
“I'm still curious why exactly you've chosen me. What you see in me. Your insight, as it were. I'm interested in your point of view,” Sylvia told him.
“You are?” Jason asked, more surprised at that than what she was asking him. Yes, he got that she wanted the information, but he wasn’t expecting her to say that.
“Of course,” Sylvia said. “Everyone's perspective is unique, their own spin on any event or observation. I wish to delve into yours.” She could tell he was surprised, and recognized that reaction. She'd had it herself. She still felt that way sometimes when Aidan spoke to her, or she noticed how he was looking at her – like she was special, like he wanted to know what happened on the inside of her mind.
Jason flailed for a moment, not sure how to answer. He was confused why she would actually want to know his opinion instead of the others. For a moment he opened his mouth, then closed it again with a small frown. “Um well...I guess...I thought you were like me. Cut off, not wanted. And you shouldn’t have to feel that way. There’s a place for us.”
She gave him time to have his little flail. “Why did it take you so long to answer?” she asked.
Jason wiped his palms on his shirt, though they weren’t really sweaty like they would have been before he was a vampire. “No one ever wants to know my opinion. I wasn’t sure what to say,” he admitted, looking over at her with a small shrug and a sheepish look in his eyes.
“I want to know,” Sylvia said simply. “And I'm sure you have an opinion – you don't have to think it through before you share it, you just share it. Your thoughts and opinions are valid. Everyone's are, at least to a degree. It's what you do with them that's the turning point. So, please. Indulge me.”
Jason swallowed hard, nodding. He was bad at interacting with people, he always had been and the part of him that hated the world, the one that had given up hope on people, that part was sure she was going to use it against him. But what choice did he have otherwise? He was aching to tell her all the things in his head, and just saying that it might be valid was making that urge worse. “What do you want to know?”
Sylvia glanced around and spotted the swings, motioning to them. She went to sit down, and focused on him. “Anything. Everything. Start anywhere,” she suggested. “What's something you've never said aloud, but really wanted to?”
He followed where she pointed, still unsure and sitting in the swing next to hers, rocking his feet back and forth a little to swing slightly. “Something I’ve never said? There’s a lot to choose from.” He looked at his knees, watching them move with the swing. She wanted to know everything about him. That was crazy. Who said that? “I hate being alone.”
“I think that's fairly common. I myself spent a good portion of my life alone. After my parents gave up on the idea of me being normal, I was left to my own devices. The majority of that time I spent in personally inflicted exile to the library. It was just me. These days, I have a much more difficult time with it, though I am not that social, and even if I were, I do not get along well with most others, and therefore it's isolating in and of itself, which I'm certain you relate to intimately.” It was her way of telling him she didn't like it either, and understood the idea.
“I don’t know how to talk to others,” he said, looking over at her as she spoke. He liked the way she spoke. That she sounded so smart and yet still bothered to talk to him, like he was a real human being. “I wanted to belong somewhere, but I couldn’t...I didn’t even have a home.”
Sylvia gave him a small smile. “I confess to not knowing how to speak to others either. I'm offputting to most. Only three before you have seemed to not be disconcerted over my manner of conducting myself and speaking.” She considered the rest. “Do you have a home now?” she asked. “Who was making you not belong? Where did you try?”
“I like that you sound smart,” he said smiling a little. “And you still talk to me. Or are still talking to me.” At the question about the home his smile faded and he went back to looking at the ground, swinging back and forth. “Everyone. Everywhere. School, at every foster home and house that ever came around.”
“Your parents abandoned you as well?” she asked. “I understand that mine did not force me to live elsewhere, so I know my own history is not comparable to your own, but I understand that part of it,” she explained. “What of now?” she asked.
“They didn’t want me from the start. Got rid of me before I even had a chance to get to know them,” Jason said, voice soft, far away, looking elsewhere. “It’s the same. No one wants me around. They just sort of look like they feel bad for me.”
“That's unfortunate,” Sylvia said. “It's hardly fair to make judgments before given a chance. I get that quite a lot. For me, mostly, however, it's people work upon assumptions made due to rumors or interactions with me. Some hate me on principal of what they've heard, others hate me because they've spoken to me and I am not...socially adept. However, I must also admit that I don't feel the need to be socially adept. I feel that I am acceptable to myself, and therefore if others dislike me it is their issue.”
That had him looking over at her, confusion creasing his brow and making the darkness around his eyes look darker. “You don’t care what they think?”
Sylvia shook her head. “No. Their opinions matter very little to me. The world at large is full of people who do not understand me in the slightest, after all, and don't wish to. Therefore, they are not worthy of my time, generally speaking. I hold no malice either, I am merely indifferent. How they view me has no bearing on anything. There are very few who's opinions I do hold dear.” She glanced around them. “Everyone else...why care?”
Jason wished he didn’t care. He didn’t want to care. If he didn’t care he wouldn’t be here, so angry, so hurt by all of it. “I hoped for a long time it would get better. Someone would matter. I’d matter to someone. It never worked out.” He’d gone back to idly swinging, looking away from her. “And eventually I gave up hope. I don’t trust any of them.” But he still cared about what they thought.
Watching him, she let her mind take that in and turn it around, seeing it from different angles. “Your issue is you don't find worth in yourself, and therefore are seeking someone else to find worth in you so you may feel relevant.”
For a long moment he thought about that then wound up nodding. “I don’t. I haven’t ever. Though I’m not sure if that’s because of what I’ve been told or because I just never did.” Maybe it was a combination of the two.
“You said you don't trust anyone,” she said. “Why trust their opinions on your worth? If they themselves are untrustworthy, surely what they have to say about you shouldn't matter,” she suggested.
Jason shook his head. “That’s not what I don’t trust them about. I don’t trust them not to turn on me. Or for things to work out. Things never work out.”
“If you can't trust them not to turn on you you definitely can't trust them on their opinion of you,” Sylvia said. “You need to be around a better class of people, Jason.” Her tone was confident, no trace of hesitation. “You were telling me earlier things could be better. You're right. They can.”
He made a disgruntled noise and shook his head. “The better class of people don’t want me around.” All he was left with were those that didn’t respect him or really want him, at least he was until this group came around, and while he fought daily to not get his hopes up and not expect much from the others, it was the closest thing he had to friends so far. “It can. If we teach people how not to treat us.”
“Why wouldn't they?” Sylvia asked. Though she was guessing right now he wasn't going to be talked into deterring his current course of action. Which meant she was still going with her plan. “And how about this. We'll try things your way. Take me in on what you are doing.”
“They haven’t ever before and now I’m damaged goods.” Jason’s focus had been swinging again, lifting his feet this time to feel the weightlessness. When she agreed though, that had his feet landing back on the ground, and his eyes turning to meet hers. “Really? You will?”
“Certainly.” It would be a huge gamble. She wasn't even certain what she was getting herself into, but she felt like whatever it was, it was big. And likely not good. Jason, however, seemed to be a lost soul that she could possibly lead away from the bad. If what he was saying was true, as well, then there was going to be a whole lot going on in town. Having her on the inside, that could be useful. She hoped she survived it.
For the first time Jason smiled, really smiled, something that lit up his eyes a little, making them seem less haunted, even if only for a moment. He was getting his hopes up, he knew it, but she was like him wasn’t she? Just as abandoned. “Awesome,” he agreed with a nod. “I’ll make sure you meet everyone then. And you can help out.” And in the mean time, he’d have to figure out what to do with the boy he’d taken.
“Just let me know what I need to do, and I will follow,” Sylvia said. It wasn't that she didn't feel nervous. She did. But she was also approaching this analytically. If nothing else, it would prove interesting.
“Will do,” Jason said, trying to ignore the thrill around the fact that she was going to follow him. Not the other way around. He jumped up from the swing, new energy in place with things going oh so well. “I’ve got things to take care of, but I’ll be in touch soon enough.”
Sylvia nodded. “Alright,” she agreed. She stood as well, thinking she needed to get a few things ready. “Will you merely find me? Or should I give you my number?”
Normally he’d say he could just find her, but her number, that would be easier. “Your number works. Just in case I can’t get to you right away.”
Sylvia told him what it was, thinking perhaps she should have done this earlier. It still seemed strange to her, but it was proving to be useful. “I will be waiting,” she told him. “I look forward to seeing you soon. It was pleasant meeting you, Jason. Thank you for choosing me.”
None of the words she said even made sense considering he’d so rarely heard them, but he took her number and nodded through it, hesitating longer than he should have before going. It was a fear that kept him there for a touch longer, the one that she might disappear into the mist or the rain or maybe he’d just wake up alone and realized he’d dreamt the whole thing. So he lingered, a hair or two longer than necessary, before finally turning away and starting back the way he’d come.