Finn Mason (rangerboy) wrote in the_dome, @ 2013-11-05 00:53:00 |
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Entry tags: | 04-13-2017, audrey, audrey and finn, finn |
Complications
Who: Finn and Audrey
Where: Their House
When: Afternoon
Finn had had a decent day at work, which had him on a decent footing for the afternoon. He supposed he should have been thinking of Avery all day, which in a way he was, but she hadn’t consumed his thoughts as he might imagine she would have. He was looking forward to seeing her, but perhaps not the event as much. While he wasn’t as aware of it as he should be, social settings were not his best and this was likely to test that. That was still a few hours away though, time enough to eat and shower before he headed to meet her, so it wasn’t in the forefront of his mind like making a sandwich was, and he was thinking more on food than anything else as he got to the house and stepped inside.
Audrey was still feeling out of sorts. Though her mind was on her own next step. The werewolf thing. With everything not having turned out poorly, she was going to approach Eli soon to turn her. But her mind was still also on what she knew had happened with Finn and Avery, and generally speaking she was just sort of all over the place, mentally. It was why she wasn't even actually aware that anyone else was home, and when she went into the kitchen, she pulled up short, gasping as she saw Finn. It took her two seconds to actually realize it was him. "Jesus, you scared me."
Finn turned when she gasped, surprised at the noise himself, but frowning after it. “I didn’t do anything?” How had he managed to scare her? Forgoing whatever else he’d been bothering with, he turned his attention and focus to Audrey. “Are you well?” She might not be if someone in her own home that she knew and belonged there was surprising her.
"You didn't, it isn't you, I was miles away. I didn't realize anyone was home," Audrey said. And of course, her mind was already going 'ee, you had sex last night! last night! sex! in this house! with a girl you generally don't know about!'.
Finn frowned more, moving closer, one hand out for her arm, guiding her towards a chair to sit since he’d scared her. “I just got here. What has you miles away?”
She sat, though more because he was guiding her and she didn’t want to fight something silly than because she needed it. “Nothing, guess I’m just having a spacey day. I didn’t get all that much sleep,” she commented. Then, totally against any judgment at all, she put out there what was actually on her mind. “So, Avery. You.”
Finn sat with her, pulling his chair closer and sitting sideways in it so he could see her better. He was just about to ask what had kept her up when she went on and he went back to frowning again. “I...yes?” He didn’t completely understand the comment, or what she was driving at.
"Last time you talked to me you were still not at all certain that you two were working out, or if she really liked you, or stuff like that, and now you're sleeping with her?" Audrey asked, trying to keep her tone neutral, but it was kinda hard. So she attempted to fix her statement by rambling at him. "Which is fine! Totally fine! You can sleep with whoever you want, and this is your house so you can do it here any time you like if that's what you want and this is really none of my business, so I should shut up now."
He was frowning still, then looking at the table. “She wanted to. I didn’t….should I have said no?” Saying no hadn’t felt right in the moment because he had wanted to, which meant he’d just gone with it, but nothing was . Audrey’s rambling didn’t help. “You shouldn’t shut up, not when you sound upset with me.” He shook his head slightly and reached for her hand. “I can tell her she can’t come here anymore if you want. Or should I not have at all? What’s going on?”
"Oh my god, please tell me I didn't just hand you an issue," Audrey groaned. "I'm not upset with you! Totally not! At all, even! I promise!" she insisted, squeezing his hand when he took hers. She clapped her other hand over it to try and be extra assuring, but she didn't know if that was what came across. "Please don't do anything like tell her she can't come here! What's going on is I'm an idiot, and I should mind my own business, is what. I am so sorry I said anything!"
“Audrey, stop.” Finn’s tone was almost authoritative, stronger than he’d used in a while. “Stop fretting and apologizing and tell me what’s really on your mind. And what would make you comfortable. I’m more than willing to do whatever’s in my power to make sure you’re comfortable.” While she might have been going for reassuring, it felt more like she was clinging to him. “What on earth could you be being an idiot about?”
Even if she wasn't super fond of the tone, it did work. She quieted down, and took a second to gather herself. Jesus, she'd messed that up. "I'm overthinking things. It happens sometimes, most of the time I'm just smart enough not to explode all over people with irrational crap," she said. "I suppose what's really on my mind, is last time I had heard, you weren't sure about the relationship at all. Which confused me, when I heard..." she made a vague gesture toward the rooms upstairs. "So...that's all. I was just confused."
Finn looked at their hands, doing his best to form the right words to address her concerns. “I wasn’t. I’m still...not as sure. But she seems sure. And she wanted...that.” He shifted his grip on her hand, running his thumb along her fingers. “I didn’t see a reason to not give her what she wanted. She said it was special, which I’m not sure I understand, but I think that she got what she wanted out of it.” Or so he hoped. He was still nailing down the finer points of their coupling.
Avery had seemed incredibly nice, so she truly hated the completely unfair thought that crossed her mind then. Which was the idea that Avery got him into bed to solidify the relationship, because well...most guys thought with their dicks, particularly at Finn's age. And that was so amazingly bitchy of her she felt guilty and mean for it even occurring. At least she was smart enough to know that it was probably the opposite of true.
Finn's words, however, were why she'd been concerned in the first place. Because she didn't want him getting into stuff like this when he didn't sound like he knew what he was doing in the slightest. She wasn't for the idea that sex should be approached with a 'well, she said so' mentality. "I know for guys it isn't a lot of times," Audrey said, her panic at least dropping away as she truly wanted to help Finn understand. The inner teacher came out, and most of all, the friend she was to him. "But girls...a lot of us do. I haven't done that yet, but I know when I do, I want it to be special too. I wouldn't want it to be just something that happened that didn't mean anything to the other person. I would want it to be emotional, a connection between me and whoever's with me."
“It would be special with you.” The words were there before Finn could even stop himself. He didn’t mean to say something like that, but it was his first thought. With Audrey it would be special. There was no one else like Audrey. With Avery, it wasn’t a bad thing, but it wasn’t an incredible thing either. “I thought of you. Wondered if it would be different.” Apparently there really was no filter, but that might be because he didn’t have an answer for the emotional connection with Avery. He liked Avery, but he hadn’t felt like something had changed all that much with what they’d done. Yes, he knew more about her, and he was thinking about doing that much again, but he didn’t feel any different about Avery, other than slightly more excited to see if things would go there again.
Audrey's eyes widened at the first bit, and then it got worse as he kept talking. She blinked, trying to process. "Um," she started, still totally lost there. She didn't know why, it wasn't like Finn hadn't been telling her for a while that he had feelings, she just didn't think they were real, so much. More like the default crush. "...you probably should feel that way about her."
He looked up at her, not sure what he was feeling which left his face more blank than readable. “What if I don’t?” Not like with Audrey. Avery wasn’t Audrey. There was no comparing the two or how he felt about them. “I wanted to go out with you.”
"If you don't, and you don't think you ever could...I don't know," she sighed, looking at him. "I wouldn't want you to lead her on. She seems like a super nice girl." Even if it had only been a couple minutes, she was very nice. She knew she needed to say more but honestly didn't know what to say.
“She is nice. And sweet. And...happy with me.” Which Audrey didn’t seem to be. She seemed something else around Finn. “I don’t know if I could. I don’t know what I can or can’t do.” He looked at their hands together again, holding hers tighter for a moment then easing his grip but not letting go. “But I think of how I feel about you and now with that context...I wonder if you’d feel the same way as she did. If it would be the same. But I don’t think it would be.” He hadn’t done it beyond that moment when he was with Avery, but now it was easy to switch girls in his head, imagine himself with Audrey and it was a thought that followed on with a feeling, that came far too easily. While Finn wasn’t always aware, he was pretty sure it shouldn’t have been that easy.
She didn't let go of his hands either, some part of her wanting the connection. She'd been feeling so disconnected lately, maybe it was just her. "I would guess no two people are the same," she suggested, voice a little quieter. "But that isn't what you mean, is it."
When she didn’t let go, Finn took it as a good sign. He’d been wondering if she would pull away, put that space between them she always found and leave him hanging, without any real answer about what was missing. “No. Not entirely.”
She didn't know what to say. It wasn't like she hadn't noticed at any point that Finn was cute. That he had nice eyes, and was capable, and being a lumberjack had really filled him out. But there was Liam too, with his baby blues, his smile, that quiet manner about him that just seemed serene in a lot of ways. For best friends, they were pretty night and day. She saw attractive things in both of them. Though for Finn, there was that one major hangup, too. The Ranger. That pretend mask was still around. "What do you mean?" she asked, immediately regretting it, but it was out there now.
Finn inched his chair closer to her, not sure if he should, but needing to in that moment. Everything wanted to be closer to her. And he wanted to give her the right answer. “I wonder if you’d look the same or sound the same, but I know better. I know you’d smell differently because you do and you’d feel differently because I’ve held you and you...fit differently.” He looked at her hand in his, touching the tips of her fingers with his free hand before glancing up at her. “I think I’d feel differently. Closer to you.” There was an instant of not reaching out, but then he was, free hand cupping her cheek in a way that felt painfully natural to touch her, though he’d almost never done it. “I’d be past your walls, seeing what’s under all of it. I think it’d be special.”
He really needed to not be so sweet when he was still so crazy. Because he really was saying all the right things to draw her in, and what he was doing non-verbally was pretty perfect too. It was just a little agonizing, especially because she really did desperately want to be wanted. It was hard to hold onto her objectivity when he was being like this. "You want to know what's behind my walls?"
Finn nodded, running his thumb along her cheekbone. “Of course I do. I’m always wondering what you’re thinking about.” He wanted to do more. He was actively thinking about it, what it would be like to kiss her, if she’d let him since he was certain he shouldn’t be with Avery and everything.
She was aware that she needed to draw back, put a stop to this already. It was just far harder than she would want it to be. "Finn," she started, not quite sure what to say or how to tell him he needed to back off, or she did, or both, or something.
Maybe he shouldn’t, but he really couldn’t help himself. Not when she was so close already. He closed more of the space between them, watching her eyes. “I want to Audrey.” His voice was soft, eyes ticking to her mouth for a moment before looking at her again.
"You can't," she told him, even if god, she wanted him to. Just...to be kissed. Properly kissed, would be so nice. She hadn't had a boyfriend ever, she'd never had one that was a real kiss. But he had a girlfriend! A really nice one she didn't at all want to do something like this to. "You have a girlfriend," she reminded him. And she started to pull back, even if it was stupidly difficult.
Finn’s hold on her hand tightened. He wanted to grip her cheek more, keep her from moving away, but he knew better than to try and hurt her. “I could. I want to. Don’t go Audrey. Please.”
Did he really have to sound like that? Look at her like that? Make her feel wanted? "I'm not going to do something like that to someone else, and I'm not letting you either. Let go, Finn," she said, voice not sounding as strong as she wanted it to.
He let go of her cheek, but not her hand. Despite her words she didn’t sound nearly as forceful as she could and Finn was holding on to that shred of hope. That tiny glimmer. “Do you want to Audrey? Me?” Because that would throw a wrench in everything.
She didn't answer. She didn't want to lie to him. "Please let go," she said, voice soft. "I'm going to...go lie down."
“Don’t do that Audrey. You always do that. You always leave to go lie down. Am I that awful?” Did he truly tire her so? He held her hand still, but loosened his grip, enough that she could slip away if she really needed to. “I think I need to know Audrey. I think it’s important.”
She looked pained. "God, of course not!" she insisted. "You're not awful at all, it's just...complicated. I'm sorry. I didn't at all mean to make you feel like that. You're not awful. You're awesome. You're one of the people in the world I can't live without. But I still know there's all the Ranger stuff, which we talked about before, and I just..." she sighed and deflated, taking her hand back. "It's not only you. And it's...pretty wildly unfair of me."
"You're one of those people for me too," he reminded her and tried not to think on how Avery wasn't. Maybe she just wasn't yet, but Finn wasn't sure if that would change. "Not just me..." It took a moment before he understood, but when he did, he pulled back, as much as it hurt to do so. What was worse was that he couldn't hide the pain on his face. "There's someone else." Why hadn't he thought there would be? It was probably someone who didn't exhaust her either. "Well, um," Finn struggled with words for a moment, not sure what to do with that information. "I'm sure he's far better." He sat up straighter as he said it, putting on an air of being tough, and even smiled like it was a natural joke, but the smile didn't make it to his eyes. "You deserve that." And he honestly thought she did. A real hero. "I should go." He got up a little too quickly, not sure where he would go, but sure he needed to go somewhere.
"Don't," Audrey said. "Please, don't...pretend, okay?" she said, seeing right through all of that. "And don't even go there with anyone being 'far better'. It isn't a competition. Neither of you is better than the other. And you deserve being happy too, and now who's running off?"
He sighed, looking around for a moment. “What would you rather me say Audrey? What more can I say than what I already said? Maybe you won’t want to run off on him. I know I tire you. I know...I don’t fit here. I know I don’t fit anywhere. Just be happy.” He took a step back, shaking his head. “This isn’t running off. This is understanding that I shouldn’t...that I don’t deserve…” The words weren’t coming and he wound up rubbing his forehead. “I’m sorry.”
"You don't tire me, the circumstances do. It's not the same thing," Audrey insisted. "And stop that right now!" she said, getting to her feet and marching toward him. "Enough of the idea that you don't deserve what, happiness? Whatever it is you think you don't deserve, you're wrong."
“Audrey it’s you!” The words were there before he could stop them or stop himself from turning to look at her. “I don’t deserve you.” Not with everything. The parts of him, the bits that showed through the cracks in his fantasy knew he didn’t deserve her, not with how broken he was, but more than that even the Ranger didn’t believe it. He wasn’t the hero she deserved.
She fell quiet for a moment, then sighed, leaning against the counter, arms crossed over her belly. "Why do you think that?" she asked. "My thing with the Ranger...Finn that isn't me thinking you aren't deserving, it's me, wanting to know you, wanting the boy underneath the mask come to the surface."
“Because of the…” Finn struggled with the words, resting one hand on the table, half holding himself up. “Because there’s something wrong with me. And I’m not...I’m not a very good hero.”
"Says the guy who spent years helping lead three other people through a zombie wasteland, to salvation," Audrey pointed out. "You are a hero, Finn. You really are. But what's more? I don't need a hero. And what is...different with you can be worked on. It's already been happening, don't think I haven't noticed," she added.
Finn shook his head. “There could have been more of us.” He sighed and wound up sitting again, looking up at her. “You deserve a hero. Someone stronger. And I don’t see how it’s happening. I think it’s just wrong.”
"Maybe I deserve someone who I can be equals with," Audrey said. "That's what I really want. Someone...someone who isn't just out to take care of me or play hero. Someone I can talk to, and share things with and treats me like I can handle myself too, and...c'mon, Finn. You aren't talking about missions anymore. I know you still go into Ranger Mode sometimes, but it isn't always there. That's progress."
“What’s so wrong with wanting to take care of you Audrey?” Finn asked, feeling like he was out of place with that, because he did want to take care of her. “You can always talk to me.” But Finn was worried she didn’t want to. He took a deep breath and shook his head. “I still feel wrong. Like I need something else to do.” He flexed his hands, as if they were reaching for something, but there wasn’t anything there to hold on to.
"Nothing, just...I'm not a child, that's all. I don't want that to be the main thing, y'know? I want someone to be with me because they want to be with me, not because they want to look after me," Audrey explained. "And I can sometimes, it depends. When you're the Ranger, it doesn't work so well," she added, voice gentle. "And maybe you need a better job, or something else to do, a hobby."
“I don’t think you’re a child,” Finn said. He was quiet for a moment, looking at his hands before getting up again and going to her. “I also know I can’t lose you. It’s makes me a little protective. I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “What else am I going to do?” He reached for her, running his hands over her arms, resting at her elbows.
"You don't have to be sorry," Audrey told him. She considered, and watched his eyes. "What did you do before? What was fun for you?" she asked.
He thought about her question, longer than someone else would have to, trying to find the answers in the back of his mind. “Sports.” There had been a lot of that hadn’t there. But he hadn’t really liked it, that came back and he was shaking his head. “But I liked...games.” His grip on her tightened for a moment, not too hard, but enough to show he was struggling with himself.
Audrey could tell he was wavering there, and she reached out to put a hand on his chest to steady him. "Hey," she encouraged. "Stay with it. Sports, games. You could throw together a baseball game or something, organize that, you could start a little league for the kids in school if you wanted. Games...if you're talking about games with dice, I'm...not sure if that would be good for you, but who knows. If you want to test it, I'll totally play."
Her hand on his chest was surprisingly grounding, and without thinking about it, Finn pressed his hand over hers, keeping it there. “I was good at sports,” he said softly, brows furrowed in concentration. He probably still was. If anything he was in better shape and lighter. Probably faster as well. Thinking about the other games though hurt. “I was...oh.” He’d been into games with dice. Games with other worlds. And as he thought it, it clenched in closer on him, almost painfully so. It made his breath shorten, coming in gasps, and the fantasy he’d built up cracked just a little more.
Audrey blinked, alarmed. "Finn? Are you okay?!" she asked, trying to catch his eyes. What had that been? Was this bad? It looked bad!
Finn nodded, only barely hearing her even if she sounded upset. His hand that wasn’t holding hers went for the counter, blocking her in but giving himself something steady to hold on to. “Fine,” he managed, realizing he needed to answer her. He needed to open his eyes as well, not remembering closing them, but knowing he needed to look at her. “Fine.” The pain was there, but it was dulling into a migraine of sorts, nothing he wasn’t used to at this point.
She didn't think he looked fine. She reached up, to put her hands to his cheeks, as if she could better assess the situation that way. Like for some reason, his eyes would tell her what she needed to know. But they didn't, he just looked...pained. "You don't look fine."
Finn leaned into one of her hands, shaking his head, but only slightly, not wanting her to move her hands. They felt good, soothing, and something else. Like he’d wanted her to touch him like that. “Just a headache.”
"Well, it seemed to hit really suddenly. What happened for real? We were talking about games, and then all of a sudden it's like you were slapped upside the brain or something," Audrey said. "Can I get you aspirin?"
Finn shook his head. “Don’t go,” he told her first, holding her hand against his cheek. “It just happens when I try to remember things. Sometimes...it hurts.” He leaned into the hand he was holding, smiling softly. “You being here helps.”
She drew in a breath, and let it out slowly, glad he smiled, but still. She got closer then hugged him tight, figuring that would be more helpful than her trying to come up with appropriate words. She still wanted to gush concerns at him, since she was still worried. A hug could be better.
The hug definitely helped. When she hugged him, he returned it, one arm tight around her, the other tangled in her hair. It was definitely different than with Avery and almost instantly after thinking it, he wanted more. It wasn't a good habit he'd picked up being with Avery, that he could distract himself from the mental pain with her, but it gave him the motivation to pull back enough to pull Audrey up and into a kiss.
Audrey hadn't expected that. Kissing, she was sure, hadn't been on the agenda. She made a little surprised sound, not at all sure what to do. But he was kissing her and she couldn't help but return it, at least for a moment. She broke it off before too long, though, conscience kicking her in the teeth. "You have a girlfriend," she said, putting her hands up against his shoulders to put pressure there, not exactly pushing him back, but close.
Her kissing him back had his attention, and when she broke it off, he almost started again. Her hands on his shoulders stopped him though, and while he didn't pull back, he let go of her. "I know. Because you wanted me to. Because it's good for me." He sighed and took a step back, dragging his fingers through his hair. She'd pushed him and he'd done as she instructed and now he was here, making a fool of himself.
And if she didn't already feel guilty as hell... She stared at him. "...the only reason you're with Avery is because...?" she asked, hoping that she'd understood that wrong. God, please, let her have not got that right.
Finn looked up at her, not sure why she’d ask that. She should know shouldn’t she? It had been her idea. “You told me to. I suppose that’s not the only reason, but it’s why I started. You were so adamant that I should and it was good for me and so against me taking you out.” He shrugged his shoulders lightly. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Being with Avery is pleasant. It made you happy or proud or something.”
While it all made sense in a weird, slightly insane way, she couldn't help but feel a little sick to her stomach. "Finn, I..." she started. "I just want you to be happy, and I...I didn't mean to pressure you into...and I didn't...and it wasn't me against you taking me out, it was everything else wrapped up in things and I'm still really aware I'm pretty much the only girl you've really known since before the zombies, and...." she rambled, tripping over her words. Normal, Calm Audrey had taken a leave of absence.
He caught the change in her, reaching for her again, holding on to her shoulders, trying to be reassuring. “Just because you’re the only girl I know, doesn’t mean there aren’t others around. We’ve been here long enough. You’re still the best.” He smiled a little, but it didn’t reach his eyes, which looked more sad than anything else. “It’s okay. I’m not upset with you.”
“You don’t have to be upset with me, I’m plenty upset with me enough for both of us,” Audrey said. She sighed, and kept watching his eyes. “I don’t know what to do.” Normally she did know how to work things through, to figure everything out. But in this case, she just didn’t. Standing there with Finn, it wasn’t like she didn’t want to kiss him again. But she knew better. And she knew when she got around Liam again, she’d remember why she liked him, too. It was worlds of unfair.
“Don’t be upset. You don’t have a reason to be.” He was thinking about kissing her again as well, though he went as far as to lean in closer to her. “You don’t have to do anything. Unless there’s something you really want to do, then you should do that, but you shouldn’t feel like you have to fix everything right here.”
"I feel like any move I make is going to be the wrong one," Audrey admitted. "I don't think there's a right answer for me, for...well. Maybe any of us. I don't know. Maybe not for Liam." she said, not catching immediately that she'd just owned up to who the other person was.
“If it’s what would make you happy, it can’t be the wrong move,” Finn promised, but the rest of what she said had him frowning. “What about Liam?” he asked first, but then it clicked. Liam. That was the other person and in turn, the memory of Liam discussing his feelings for Audrey flooded back to Finn as well and instinctively he took a step back. No. No, this was definitely not good. “Liam?”
She felt that sick twist in her stomach again, nodding. "Yes. Liam. I guess I didn't really realize it until the auction, but...apparently I have feelings for both of you. I don't think Liam likes me though. He's got another girl anyway, I believe. Darcy, from school. Like you have Avery." She hugged herself, and drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
Finn knew that sick twist in his stomach. Now he felt awful, like he’d betrayed Liam too. “He does. Like you. He told me.” Finn let out a sigh and went to sit on the edge of the kitchen table. “I shouldn’t have. Or still want to...before…” he told her, looking up at her. “I’m sorry.”
Audrey's eyes got wide and she blinked. "He...?" she asked, not quite finishing the sentence. "Oh..." she trailed off. In the end she slid down the counter to sit on the floor. "Please don't be sorry," she told him. "You don't have anything to be sorry about."
Finn just nodded, agreeing with her thought. Yes, Liam liked her too. And probably made more sense for her. When she slid to the floor though, he couldn’t help but go to her again. “I have so many things to be sorry about,” he said as he knelt next to her. “I should have demanded our date. But I’d convinced myself you weren’t interested.”
She looked up at him. "No," she said. "I convinced you." She had to take credit there, it wasn't on his shoulders. "I didn't think you were truly interested. And I was trying to tell myself I wasn't interested either, that what I was feeling wasn't jealousy, or anything else. But...it was."
“How could I not be truly interested?” Finn asked, surprised she’d think something like that. In his mind, she was as good as it got.
"It's that thing where I've been the only girl you really talk to all that much, the only girl you know, there's been years of us together, fighting against the odds...I just thought I was the default, y'know? That you liked me because I'm right in front of you," Audrey explained.
He shook his head, trying to dispel her thoughts. “I like you because I know you, but what I know about you is what I like too. You’re something else.” He shifted so he was closer, watching her. “Even now, all I can think about is kissing you. I don’t think that’s a default thing.”
She had to give him that. Or, wait, maybe it was just a teenage boy thing. She arched a brow at him and even hinted a smile. "And you don't get preoccupied with kissing other girls all the time?"
He made a face. “Are you saying that I spend my time thinking of kissing other girls? Because that’s not true.” Though he did think of kissing Avery, but that was probably to be expected.
"I'm saying you're a teenage boy, and that could be high on your list of thoughts," Audrey said. "Either way, though, I get it. You think about me...that way."
“You don’t sound like you think highly of me,” Finn said, sitting so he was next to her. “What do we do now Audrey?”
"Nothing against you, hon," Audrey said. "Just...most teenage guys are pretty into sex, and it occupies a lot of their brain. If you're different, I stand corrected." She sighed when he asked what they did now. She had no idea. Which she shared. "I don't know." She looked back up at him. "Any suggestions?"
“I like to think I’m more than just some teenage guy,” Finn said, looking at her. After a moment he touched her cheek lightly and shrugged. “A ton of suggestions and I don’t think you’d approve of most of them. But I think you should be happy. Be with who makes you happy. The rest will fall into place.”
"And if I don't have an answer for who makes me happy? If there is no good answer, and I still wind up liking both of you?" she posed. That was sort of what had kept her silent. Beyond the idea of being rejected, she had that in the back of her mind too.
Finn considered that for a long moment before answering. “I think eventually something will sway you one way or another. You’ll figure it out. Or I could just kiss you again and see if that helps.” He smirked a little at the end, glancing at her.
She gave a light little half laugh, not really adverse to the idea of more kissing. God, that would be so easy to get lost in. But again, totally unfair. "Maybe you're right. But til then, what do I do? What are you going to do?"
Finn shrugged. “Be open to whatever comes next.” At her question he hesitated. “I’m not sure about all of it. Wait. See what comes next in some cases. In others…” He looked at her, and his resolve melted, leaning forward to kiss her again. It was a sign that he needed to move away from her, but at the same time he was having a hard time seeing the reasons not to kiss her.
She made a soft little sound at that, returning the kiss. Because it was nice, and she did like it, he certainly wasn't bad at it. It felt nice to be wanted, that he did just want to dive back in to kiss her again. So she kissed him until she needed breath then broke it to pull back. "What about Avery?" she asked when she felt like she had breath to speak.
That she actually drew the kiss out until he was struggling to breathe was intoxicating. It clouded all his thoughts and it was just Audrey invading every sense. At least it was until she asked about Avery. He leaned back, one hand going for Audrey’s to keep that contact there. “I don’t know. I don’t think she’d like this.” But it felt different to kiss Audrey. Like it made more sense and Finn wasn’t sure what that meant to him.
"She wouldn't. Right now you're technically cheating on her," Audrey said. "Which isn't right," she added. "So...yeah. Stop that." She wished she sounded more convincing. But in the moment, she couldn't quite manage.
He looked at her, not convinced by her mini-order, but he didn’t kiss her again. “Would you...do you want me to not be with her?” That seemed important. He didn’t have a good reason to break up with Avery if Audrey wasn’t interested.
"Finn, it's your relationship. What I think doesn't matter, here. It's what you think. Don't think about me. Think about you, and Avery, and do what you want." Audrey told him. She really needed to not be part of this decision, though guilt was souring her stomach again. Avery was a nice girl...dammit, what had she done?
Finn sighed softly. “The problem is, Avery isn’t you.” That had been the problem from the start. There was nothing wrong with Avery. But she wasn’t Audrey. “And you weren’t an option before. You were clear on that.”
"Considering the fact that I'm apparently all about two different people, you and your best friend in the world, I'm not sure I'm an option now, either. Maybe...maybe it's best if I just don't do anything?" she suggested, not sure. Also not liking the suggestion at all.
He looked at her, frowning. “You should do something. Like I said before, what makes you happy. You think about that. I will think about Avery.” Finn was quiet for a long moment. “Whatever you choose, if it makes you happy, I’m for it.”
She looked at him a long moment, believing him. Then she leaned over, kissed his cheek, and got up. "I'm going to do that. While I lie down," she said. "I'll talk to you later, kay?"
She got up but for once he didn’t. And he didn’t try and get her to stay this time. “I’ll be here,” he promised, nodding a little. Probably in the same spot until he figured out what to do about Avery.