Derek Miller (throughthemill) wrote in the_colony, @ 2011-04-05 18:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | ^ week 35, derek miller, holland sharpe, | derek and holly |
Week 35 - Wednesday
Characters: Derek Miller and Holly Sharpe
Location: The boys' room
Summary: Derek comforts Holly. Really.
Rating: PG-13 for language
After talking to Tom, Holly had gone straight to his shared room with Derek and held his breath upon opening the door. The universe seemed to be on his side for fucking once when Derek wasn’t in the room, and Holly slid inside to close the door behind him as fast as possible. His face felt stiff, warm and puffy as he wiped his running make-up off of it shortly after settling onto his bed, tossing the dirty wipes into the trash without much care. All he felt like doing was hiding, or running away, but Tom’s words kept echoing through his head. “Shit,” Holly muttered to himself, trying to fight off the stinging sensation in is eyes yet again. He hadn’t wanted to cry like this since Vegas, though at least he wasn’t forced to squeeze into close quarters with everyone in their cross-state caravan as he coped that time.
The house was buzzing with the news of Ana’s disappearance: what it meant, whether she was dead. Derek’s money was on dead or worse, a grim little thought he couldn’t get out of his head. Somehow, sticking around downstairs to gossip didn’t sound like a whole hell of a lot of fun. So he went to his room because it was private. But not completely private. There was no such thing with all of them stacked on top of each other and more strangers moving in all the time. Of course Holly was in their room.
“You look bad,” he offered. Derek felt like if he couldn’t think of anything to say he would have to go back downstairs.
“Gee, thanks,” Holly replied thickly, but Derek’s comment did help stave off new tears. “It happens when you fuck up and get your face beat in for it.”
Derek couldn’t believe Drew had hit anyone; the other man never seemed like he had it in him. But that was before his wife was taken. He didn’t know what he’d do in the same situation. Derek was alone with no one to protect.
“What happened?”
“Ugh, I’m going to have to tell this story a million times, aren’t I?” The blond pushed his fingers through his hair and set his hand mirror down on the bed beside him with his other hand. “Ana and I decided to take turns bringing shit to the car, and she disappeared. I looked around for her everywhere, but I couldn’t find her.” Despite trying to tell the story with an air of inconvenience, Holly felt it affecting him; it was still too fresh to detach from. “I just … I don’t know. If there was any evidence of where she went I would have gone after her myself.”
Derek settled down onto his own bed. “Look, Holly. I - I’m sorry.” Being blamed for this must suck.
If Holly had been betting on the next thing to come out of Derek’s mouth, not in a million years would he have guessed what had. He was wide-eyed as he studied Derek in silence. Uncomfortably with the scrutiny, Derek sat quietly and studied his shoes.
“Thank you,” Holy finally answered, feeling his throat constrict with emotion. “If something happens to her, I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself. I’ve let too many people die.”
“You didn’t let her die.” Derek’s voice was firm. It was pretty fucking stupid for Ana and Holly to separate themselves but he was a paranoid son-of-a-bitch and most people didn’t think the way he did. It wasn’t like Holly tried to get Ana taken.
Part of him wanted to argue, but Holly didn’t. “It’s funny: before, I would have thought living in a fucking farmhouse with no electricity or central heating would be roughing it, but I’ve gotten soft. Back in Vegas, I never would have taken my eyes off of her.”
“We haven’t had any problems here,” Derek agreed. “Hell, we keep picking up strays. If we’re not safe, inviting anyone we meet back to the house sends the wrong damn message.”
"I know." Derek had a point, but Holly didn't feel placated. He combed his fingers through his hair nervously.
"They're going to go look for her. Are you gonna go?"
“Probably. If Tom wants me to.” Sometimes Derek wondered if Tom was too much like a garrison commander but tonight wasn’t the night for that. Not when one of their own was taken.
“Well, if you do go and find the people who took Ana?” Holly paused, furrowing his eyebrows at Derek. “Shoot one in the ass for me.”
The other man nodded, figuring that was a pretty good place to leave things. “I’m going to go see if there’s anything I need to do. I’ll sleep at Louisa’s tonight.” Derek didn’t say it was to give some privacy but he definitely didn’t want to be around if Holly was going to keep crying.
The crease between Holly’s brows went away as his expression turned surprised, but he effectively wiped the look off his own face as he rubbed his damp eyes and nodded. “Okay. Talk to you whenever,” he said.