InsaneJournal

Back-dated to Thursday afternoon


He hadn't seen Josh at all yesterday except for mealtimes, and he'd been just as disengaged and uncommunicative as every other time Kevin had seen him since Sunday. He didn't smile, didn't laugh, didn't speak with anyone unless spoken to and then only enough to answer direct questions, no matter how hard he tried to enage him. It was like spending time with a ghost. It was making Kevin physically sick, and he'd been seriously considering not even meeting Josh for breakfast this morning. It wasn't like he ate, after all, they'd just fallen into it those first two weeks, back when things had been good and normal, because it was more time they could spend together in a day. He'd doubted Josh would even notice or care if he didn't show up...or maybe he'd be relieved. And then he'd answered a knock at his door first thing in the morning to find Josh and a few layers of heavy duty plastic wrap waiting for him.

He hadn't even had a chance to say anything before he'd had an armful of Josh, warm and solid and eager, and kissing him like his life had depended on it. He'd stumbled back under the unexpected assault, arms going automatically around Josh, and after a fraction of a second of confusion there really hadn't been any option but to kiss back just as hard and eager. He'd pulled Josh tight against him, one hand at the small of his back and the other curled around the back of his neck and just kissed him with everything he had, weeks of fear mingled with years of devotion all pouring out as he'd pushed Josh back into the wall next to the door.

It had ended almost as fast as it started, though, Josh barely giving him time to grab his backpack before hauling him out the door for breakfast with no explanation other than something vague about a 'breakthrough' that he wanted to talk about later. And much as Kevin wanted to know now it hadn't been worth pushing, not when there was too little time to really talk before they both had to be in class...and especially not with Josh happy and normal and chattering next to him through the meal, the zombie of the last few days gone as if he'd never existed.

Kevin had been almost dazed by the time they'd had to go their separate ways, half overjoyed at the turnaround and half confused at what had suddenly brought it about. He'd spent the entire morning fidgeting, anticipating lunch and a chance to maybe talk to Josh...until right before lunch break, when Josh had texted him with "Emergency training. Sorry. My room after." Which had meant hours more fidgeting, barely paying attention through his afternoon classes and earning a (not so unusual these days) reprimand in his training session for lack of focus.

For the first time in what felt like weeks he'd been happy to escape to his studio after, rather than just relieved, and had actually picked up the last piece he'd been working on before everything had gone completely to hell. Something for Josh, like so much of his work always was in one way or another. He'd become engrossed enough in the intricate twists of wire that the time had flown by and he'd been almost surprised to find he'd finished it when his studio time - and conveniently enough Josh's - was up.

Now he rolled it almost idly between his hands, a solid weight wrapped carefully in a whisper soft cotton polishing cloth. He'd almost decided not to give it to him, or at least not now, but it was his, and for years every time he'd finished a piece for Josh he'd wrapped it in flannel and delivered it immediately, though in the past that had always meant an immediate trip to the campus post office. Now it had just meant a walk across campus in the early spring chill, until he stood at Josh's door, praying that this morning hadn't been a fluke or a hallucination as he raised his hand and knocked, waited for just a moment, then tried to ignore the way his heart had started to hammer as he pushed the door open.