Gwendolyn Right (ms_right) wrote in stepfordic, @ 2019-07-30 19:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | gwendolyn right (msright) |
Narrative
[Gwendolyn's been hiding out in her bedroom ever since Evan cleared the roads again. She spent days visiting him, she even stayed overnight with the blizzard. Everything felt like it was going so well, but she was suffocating him. He waited for her to go to the maternity ward to shower and when she returned he was gone. Through the black snow, he went to God knows where to avoid her. She spent the rest of the day there alone wishing she was dead. She lost her best friend and her family's trust, and on top of that she ruined her engagement before it even really started. He said he wanted to date her, he got bludgeoned by another man and still said he wanted to go through with this, but it's over now. For sure this is the worst her life can possibly get.
She doesn't want to eat, she can't sleep, caretakers watch her around the clock as she comes off of the pain medications that Alfie took with her and they also make sure she takes all of her required medications. Anti anxiety medication for her social anxiety, anti depressant medication to curb the depression from the previous pill, anti seizure medication to curb the headaches and prevent seizures caused from the previous two, a heart regulator to stop her arrhythmia caused by the previous three, and finally a water pill to regulate her blood pressure which was set out of whack from the previous four. This cocktail is given three times a day.
The psychiatrist, Branton's father, comes to visit her every afternoon to poke and prod at how she's feeling, but she doesn't want to talk about it. He looks like Branton and she can't get the last conversation out of her head, she can't stop thinking about him attacking Alfred, and she can't stop thinking about the way he left without saying anything. His eyes are accusing, but she wonders if it's all in her head. Probably the anxiety. She feels like he hates her, she thinks that she's probably wrong, but she isn't. It's obvious.
She checks her group chat after he finally leaves, scrolling through the hundreds of messages exchanged in the past few hours. Most of them are about her or Branton. They're all really confused and concerned. There are a few about Alfie in there too, wishing him well, but it's mostly from another guy there who never actually liked him. It's all so fake. Henrietta writes her on a private chat after noticing she read the conversation and didn't respond and asks her how she's doing to which she just responds with a generic "I'm fine." She starts to lecture Gwen about her poor little rich girl act, but assures her that it's coming from a place of caring. She goes on about how she hasn't been practicing violin and her rival has, about how she missed out on a really great guy because Branton was way nicer than Alfred and he's always been there for her... the rant keeps going, but Gwen mutes it and puts her phone down again.
She knows it's selfish because Alfie clearly doesn't like her, but she wishes she were married right now. If she were married, they'd be alone in a house, she wouldn't have Lucas, her violin tutor, coming in an hour and she wouldn't have her three caregivers coming in and out of the room throughout the day making sure she took their poisons. She'd just be able to be alone to carry on as she pleases. She certainly wouldn't hear her parents discussing her disposition disapprovingly in the next room. She wonders why they had her in the first place, and she's sure they wonder too.]