Rufayette Morgenschoss (zeiss_manifold) wrote in spork_squad, @ 2010-05-29 21:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | an_mutt, archie-affiliated, bad trips, deathtraps, delcat, i have no idea how to categorize this, image-heavy, ink_weaver, the adventures of kool-aid man, worksafe for once, zeiss manifold |
THE ADVENTURES OF KOOL-AID MAN - "WACKY WAREHOUSE"
In which we invite special guest an_mutt to come and drink something or another.
Delcat: SHOW US THE MYSTERY ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: LEMME EXPLAIN FIRST
Zeiss Manifold: an_mutt IS HERE WITH US LIVE IN THE STUDIO
An Mutt: I AM ON TENDERHOOKS HERE
An Mutt: LITERALLY
Zeiss Manifold: AND I HAVE PREPARED A MYSTERY SNARKING OBJECT FOR THE OCCASION
An Mutt: WE ARE SPOONING
An Mutt: HELLO KENT
Zeiss Manifold: AND WE ARE LIVE!
Delcat: I SHIVER WITH ANTICIohshit.
Zeiss Manifold: The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man, starring Jack Nicholson as Combusken!
Delcat: Is this another Christian Archie comic?
An Mutt: Oh, hey, there's a playhouse right near mine called the WACKY WAREHOUSE
An Mutt: THIS HITS CLOSE TO HOME
An Mutt: Why is the black hacker from Die Hard in the background?
Delcat: The Wacky Warehouse sounds like the local pedophile hangout.
Delcat: I mean, that's a name that's trying too hard.
An Mutt: AND THE QUARTERBACK IS TOAST
Zeiss Manifold: Why is everyone standing between the line and the warehouse? Are WE in the Wacky Warehouse?
An Mutt: Maybe we *are* the Wacky Warehouse?
Delcat: Well, I do feel like I'm being touched inappropriately.
Zeiss Manifold: And I'm growing mandible-hair.
InkWeaver: ...so did anyone else notice that it says "Complimentary Copy" in the bottom right corner? ... What the hell is this a compliment to?
Zeiss Manifold: ...Wackiness?
InkWeaver: Can you buy wackiness?
Delcat: Let me check Amazon.
Delcat: THIS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU BY…
Zeiss Manifold: Spoiler: IT'S ANTIFREEZE
An Mutt: You sure can *smoke* it, judging from the face of the mayor!
InkWeaver: SWEET JESUS THIS LOOKS COLORED WITH MARKERS.
An Mutt: Also, the WACKIEST blend of berry and lemon flavours, in the CRAZIEST blue colour I've ever seen!?
Delcat: I can't lie, guys, I love me some dang-ass Kool-Aid. I hope this doesn't ruin it for me.
An Mutt: THAT'S TOO MUCH INSANITY FOR ME TO HANDLE!
InkWeaver: NO GUYS IT'S ONLY THE SECOND PAGE AND WE'RE LOSING HIM
Delcat: This is actually the least wacky warehouse I've ever seen. C'mon, where's the Willy Wonka shit?
InkWeaver: Well, they do have a boot. And a hand.
Zeiss Manifold: "The official drink of the Wacky Warehouse?"...OH GOD GUYS
Zeiss Manifold: THE WACKY WAREHOUSE IS ACTUALLY JONESTOWN
Delcat: Fuck that, this is still a full tour of kids bored stiff.
Delcat: You! Kool-aid or death?
An Mutt: Don’t forget the wacky slide!
InkWeaver: What are the Archie characters doing here?
Zeiss Manifold: Kids didn't have much to do in the 70's, it was either this or getting stuck in fridges.
An Mutt: The grand opening that almost wasn't? *is shocked*
InkWeaver: Also
An Mutt: I don't know much about Archie
An Mutt: But the girl in the middle seems to have checker boards sewn into her jacket.
Delcat: Well, one panel in and we have kids going all Exorcist on us. But instead of pea soup, she spits DELICIOUS SUGAR WATER! OHHHHH YEABLARGL
InkWeaver: OH MY GOD. YOU GUYS. IT'S BLACKGROUND DUDE, AND HE GOT A JOB AS A SCIENTIST.
Zeiss Manifold: IT IS
Zeiss Manifold: Wait a minute...."Copyright 1988"
Zeiss Manifold: The Kool-Aid Hipness patrol has been slacking off liek whoa
Delcat: Holy shit, this comic is nearly as old as I am.
An Mutt: This comic is OLDER than I am!
Delcat: So, uh...do they actually have money, or do they just take whatever they want?
Delcat: 'Cause I smell a failed business venture.
Zeiss Manifold: It explains the "RAD" at least. Is it also burly and/or froggy? Are there copious amounts of 'tude involved?
An Mutt: They pay with synonyms.
InkWeaver: why is he standing ON the panel?
Delcat: He wouldn't be Kool-Aid man if he didn't destroy stuff, dude.
Zeiss Manifold: Judging from the sheer scale of the Wacky Warehouse operation, this takes place in a Dyson Sphere. Or a Dyson Bowl.
Delcat: Oshit, second panel, left side: I see a proposal for gay sex goin' down.
InkWeaver: ...Bottom right panel: Girl be an angel, yo.
Delcat: Seriously, who the fuck is paying for this? It's like Disneyland without the profits. Or the fun.
InkWeaver: Oh God! And kool-Aid man is in the back watching the proposal! BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOUR GAY SEX PROPOSITION
Zeiss Manifold: And he's isolated all the adults, too.
An Mutt: Middle panel: They've even got WACKY RACERS
InkWeaver: "Parents Pen" just doesn't sound humane to me.
InkWeaver: And of course, the first thing that came to my mind was a pen, made of a parent, that writes with blood for ink.
Delcat: "All the wheels are happily spinning here!" That seems an especially bleak acknowledgement of your limited existence as a corporate mouthpiece, Kool-Aid Man.
InkWeaver: Am....am I messed up?
Delcat: Hey, you're not the one drinking vital fluids out of a living pitcher.
Zeiss Manifold: Kool-Aid Man has a very warped view of adulthood. "They're getting hungry? Slather some mustard on some tax forms!"
An Mutt: Don't worry, my first thought on seeing the bottom left panel was "Who let an adult Richie Rich in here?"
InkWeaver: ROCK VIDEOS
InkWeaver: MOTHER. FUCKING. HARDCORE.
Zeiss Manifold: KOOL-AID: NOW AVAILABLE IN SCHOOLYARD CHEESE FLAVOR
Delcat: Ohhhh, that system is just ASKING for a never-ending line of burger puke.
An Mutt: Oh, they're showing the video to the new Megadeth single!
Delcat: Ribbon cutting ceremony? Then why the fuck are they all inside already?
Delcat: Is there just one poor obsessive-compulsive man outside who can't bring himself to cross the line?
An Mutt: WACKY WAREHOUSE IS NEXT
Zeiss Manifold: Panel 2: NOTHING SAYS EXTREME FUN LIKE GRANDFATHER CLOCKS
Delcat: "And all the broccoli we can eat! Hooray!"
"I've had eight quarts of Kool-Aid already! I have diabetes already!"
"My pee smells like cotton candy!"
InkWeaver: The second chef in the first panel looks REALLY bleak, like, "OH GOD SOMEONE PLEASE... I CAN'T SMELL ANYTHING BUT KOOL AID ANYMORE"
An Mutt: I see That Yellow Bastard is having a good time in the background of the centre panel.
InkWeaver: The perspective and colors on this thing are so fucked I have to look four or five times at a panel to even understand VAGUELY what is happening.
Zeiss Manifold: Meanwhile, the kool-aid powder blows along like snowdrifts, gets into people's eyes....
InkWeaver: All I gather is "FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN HAVE FUN OR DIE FUN FUN STABBING YOUR EYES WITH FUN"
Delcat: H-how did you know what I was snorting, Zeiss?
Zeiss Manifold: OH YEAH
An Mutt: Also I see Harry and Ginny are chowing down on some WACKY snack food.
InkWeaver: Mutt, that hotdog is as big as her head.
InkWeaver: OH MY GOD - GUYS THE ROLLER COASTER
InkWeaver: IT IS A DEATH TRAP
InkWeaver: IT RISES INTO A RAMP THAT JUST... ENDS
Delcat: They left Ron in the Funhouse. He is leaving a trail of wizard urine and wizard tears around and around and around the hall of mirrors.
An Mutt: That's what I get told every Saturday night down at the local brothel. B]
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S A SOYLENT KOOL-AID PLANT
Zeiss Manifold: Aaand here comes the plot to ruin the fun. >(
An Mutt: Here comes Meramon to ruin the fun.
InkWeaver: Oh, we are NOT trying to have a plot here. NO. GET THE FUCK OUT.
InkWeaver: SILLY VILLAIN, WACKINESS IS FOR KIDS
Zeiss Manifold: Would YOU let someone dressed like that into a "kids-only" zone?
Delcat: Why isn't his coat burning up?
Delcat: Also, Kool-Aid Man has a nemesis? Other than walls?
Zeiss Manifold: Maria and Edison, majoring in medicine, say he must go free.
InkWeaver: He definitely looks like a flasher - and also, that was Ron, so it's no wonder he let that guy in.
An Mutt: "That burns me up!" Oh God, he's going to be the Mr. Freeze of this comic, isn't he?
Delcat: No, he's Mr. Freeze's secret lover. It's a sad and sordid relationship, thank God they're both into BDSM.
Zeiss Manifold: Scorch has got one swanky-ass hideout, I must say.
InkWeaver: Okay, so if that's Kool-Aid Man's arch-nemesis, then let's take some bets on what his name is going to be.
InkWeaver: DAMMIT ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: His name has been provided for us
Zeiss Manifold: it's SCORCH
Delcat: I was gonna guess THE FLAMING FLAME
InkWeaver: where? I DON'T SEE IT, MY EYES ARE STILL BEING STABBED OUT BY THE FUN
Delcat: Second-to-last panel, he's monologuing. I tried to skim over it too.
An Mutt: Del: I kinda maybe sorta wanna read an abusive relationship fanfic between these two now.
An Mutt: UNIRONICALLY.
InkWeaver: You know, this isn't a very sinister plot. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS KOOL-AID MAN"
"What're you gonna do?"
"...EMBARRASS YOU"
InkWeaver: "oh, well, all right then, I suspect I'll be okay. BACK TO THE WACKINESS"
Delcat: Mutt: I gotta warn you, it gets into guro territory. Like, melted water on the FLOOR, dude.
Zeiss Manifold: "Whee! This is fu-OH GOD THE SLIDE IS MOLTEN SLAG"
Delcat: INKY
Delcat: ZEISS
Delcat: THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR COMPUTERS
Zeiss Manifold: FUCK
Delcat: HE'S SABOTAGING OUR SNARKY SNAREHOUSE
Zeiss Manifold: OUR SNARKTOPIA
Zeiss Manifold: I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON IT WAS OVERHEATING
InkWeaver: "He'll never be able to open at 10:00 a.m."
InkWeaver: LATER, AT 10:01 A.M.
InkWeaver: "Oh, well, we couldn't open at 10:00 a.m., so... here we are, a minute later."
InkWeaver: "CURSES"
Delcat: No, he just sits back and crosses his arms and nods, satisfied.
An Mutt: MEANWHILE, AT THE WACKY RACES: Dick Dastardly: "Drat! And double drat! Foiled again!"
Delcat: He subscribes to the Il Palazzo school of world domination--gotta start small, dude.
Zeiss Manifold: Actually, I really think the heat is getting to them in panel 5. THEY'RE SHRINKY-DINKS
InkWeaver: Guys, if Blackground Dude becomes a hero in this, I am gonna be so stoked.
InkWeaver: I like how they walk in on him blowing up condoms.
Delcat: Okay, so...so that's all well and good, but...how do you get UP to the office.
Zeiss Manifold: IT INVOLVES QUENCHING SOMETHING
InkWeaver: Duh, you take off your socks and you climb the slide, like at MacDonald's.
An Mutt: Your McDonalds has a slide?
InkWeaver: ...yours doesn't?
InkWeaver: D: that... that makes me sad.
An Mutt: I have been kept in the dark all my life!
Zeiss Manifold: And then some other kid bangs into you and you have to go the hospital and then the Kool Aid-Man stands above your bed and laughs and laughs and laughs
Delcat: I remember the last time I went to a McDonalds playplace. I sat on one of the fixtures and read The Lord of the Flies while kids played around me. I was a motherfucking morbid seven-year-old.
Zeiss Manifold: Well, that answers that question.
Delcat: GUYS
Delcat: I THINK I KNOW HOW HE IS GOING TO SOLVE THIS THIRST/HEAT PROBLEM
Zeiss Manifold: EMPTYING HIS INNARDS?
Delcat: IT POSSIBLY INVOLVES KOOL-AID
InkWeaver: "Roasting? Burned out? OVERHEATING! That can only mean one thing!"
Delcat: INDEED
Delcat: ...he's bulimic :|
InkWeaver: "ACER MADE THIS COMPUTER"
Delcat: So Kool-Aid Man not only shills sugar water, but exhorts that elevators and slides are way cooler than stairs any day. He really IS the diabetes poster boy.
InkWeaver: *snerk* I LET IN A SUSPICOUS GUY PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME
Zeiss Manifold: "His sizzling footsteps go this way! Which makes the whole flasher-disguise thing completely unnecessary!"
Delcat: "uh guys seriously there is a series of tiny fires throughout the building we should do something"
An Mutt: "What's wacky about that!? Come on gang!"
InkWeaver: Honestly, I would not care about this at all if it weren't for Blackground Dude. For his sake, I hope they get this fixed.
Delcat: "I hear kids screaming, I think the ferris wheel is on fire"
Zeiss Manifold: Setting a Dyson Sphere on fire is probably not the best idea, come to think of it.
InkWeaver: "NO HURRY SCORCH IS GETTING AWAY"
"but... they're SCREAMING"
"VILLAIN!"
An Mutt: "DO YOU HATE THE WACKY WAREHOUSE?"
Zeiss Manifold: ROAST MY TOAST
InkWeaver: Why does he own toast to roast? Isn't toast already bread that has been roasted?
InkWeaver: OH GOD WHY IS HIS ARM GROWING OUT OF HIS FACE IN PANEL THREE
Delcat: BECAUSE ALL HE IS IS A FACE??
InkWeaver: NO I MEAN SCORCH
Delcat: I mean really the limbs are vestigal at best
Delcat: no wonder he went extinct
An Mutt: No! Not bananas! The children are too hopped up on my juices to pay attention to any hazards!"
Delcat: "No! Not bananas! NOT NATURAL FRUIT FLAVORS! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!"
InkWeaver: Oh my god, what is this Home Alone? FUCKING STEP OVER THE BANANAS, YOU CLODS, BLACKGROUND DUDE NEEDS YOUR HELP
An Mutt: *ZAP*
InkWeaver: Also, Scorch: "EXIT, STAGE LEFT"
An Mutt: Apparently Scorch is a wizard. IS THIS SECRETLY A HARRY POTTER FAN COMIC
InkWeaver: Well, we did see ginny and harry. SPEAKING OF, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE CHOSEN ONE ON THIS SHIT
Zeiss Manifold: Last panel: And with Scorch's heat turning the sand into glass, the slippage well end twice as badly for the children. That's right, Wacky Warehouse is a spinal paralysis trap as well as a diabetes exacerbator.
Delcat: He just pointed and said "ZAP", and the tree...felt sorry for him
An Mutt: *checks date of copyright*
Zeiss Manifold: Fire makes trees flaccid!
InkWeaver: I love the girl watching on the bottom left
InkWeaver: she's like "Oh my god. Is that billy? ... Am I really dating him? Oh my god."
Delcat: "Dude, what the fuck is your problem."
An Mutt: J.K. ROWLIIIING! *shakes fist* YOU HAD TO LEAVE ONE MORE CLUE IN AN EARLIER PUBLICATION, DIDN'T YOU!?
Zeiss Manifold: This is going to traumatize that girl forever.
An Mutt: Kool-Aid Man doesn't give a fuck.
An Mutt: "WE'LL FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE KOOL-AID MAN"
An Mutt: "WATCH THE FUCKING BANANA PEELS FUCK"
An Mutt: Seriously look at that face.
Zeiss Manifold: She'll grow up to be a horror novelist, writing books about glass creatures and melting and injured children until the coats take her away after a rum binge.
An Mutt: "God damn it why are these fucking kids with me seriously."
An Mutt: And the tree wilted because it's made of plastic.
Delcat: H-how did you know what I see after snorting Kool-Aid powder, Zeiss?
Zeiss Manifold: You think you're the only one with powder?
InkWeaver: Well friends the saddest thing i ever did see
Was a woodpecker peckin' at a plastic tree.
He looked at me and "Friend," says he
"Things just ain't the way they used to be"
Delcat: Inkyyyy you know that's one of my favorites whyyyyy
InkWeaver: Wait. It is?
InkWeaver: I LOVE SHEL
Delcat: WHO DOESN'T
An Mutt: Can't have natural resources in a Kool-Aid endorsed environment!
Zeiss Manifold: Kool-Aid Man: DUDE JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE
Zeiss Manifold: AND STOP LEAVING FETUSES EVERYWHERE
Delcat: oh wow, I was about to say you reposted a page link again but no, no, the art is just that copy-and-pasted
Delcat: Seriously, kids, find out. AND BURN THEM.
Delcat: Or else feed them to a Wild Strawberry.
InkWeaver: ROCK VIDEOS? ON THE CEILING?
InkWeaver: "No but really, can we catch the villain here"
InkWeaver: "ROCK VIDEOS"
An Mutt: Last panel: NO! NOT GIGANTIC CYMBALS! MY ONE WEAKNESS!
Zeiss Manifold: TV screens in every elevator? The Kool-Aid Man is pushing our tax dollars to far! It's time for America to say no to Big Juice!
InkWeaver: "are you holding... wait, what is that? Is that a violin? A cello? A guitar? What is it, seriously"
Delcat: No, really, Kool-Aid Man wants us all moving as little as possible and hooked on constant media stimulus. Guys, I...I am afraid.
InkWeaver: they're like five year olds, I swear.
InkWeaver: "WHO ARE YOU BOSSING AROUND"
InkWeaver: "I'M TELLING MOM"
InkWeaver: "NUH UH"
Delcat: ...and hundreds of excited kids run to see the Kool-Aid Man and are pulled into the rotors. Bad, bad scene.
InkWeaver: Wait, no, what. What did he do to the fucking helicopter
InkWeaver: "JUST SOME QUICK ADJUSTMENTS"
InkWeaver: FOUR HOURS LATER
Zeiss Manifold: Nah, if he can lift a helicopter, he should be fine. I'd be more worried about the kids.
An Mutt: This comic is taking place in the GTA: Vice City engine.
InkWeaver: "Well fuck I took the propeller off and... it's all in pieces now, and..."
"You know he got away, right"
"OH YEAH!"
Delcat: Ohhh, no, I could never fly anything straight in that game D: AND THEN THE VEHICLE WOULD BLOW UP
An Mutt: His original plan was to take out Scorch with awful manual aim gameplay.
Zeiss Manifold: ...Why do they have the black helicopters in a kid's commune theme park? Didn't they have artificial antigravity a few pages ago?
Delcat: ZEISS WHAT'S THE NEXT PAGE
Delcat: IS IT EXPLOSIONS
InkWeaver: No, it's porn.
InkWeaver: a STIFF breeze.
Zeiss Manifold: LET'S FIND OUT
An Mutt: How anti-climatic...
Delcat: Um...he...fire and...um...guys...thermodynamics? Laws of? How?
Zeiss Manifold: Yeah, just dump the floppy disk CIRCUIT BOARD into a tank of water and steam, shit's so cash.
An Mutt: oh god the alliteration.
An Mutt: THE ALLITERATION
Delcat: ...oh my God, I think that's actually a punchcard.
Delcat: WHEN WAS THIS WRITTEN.
InkWeaver: They say "far out"
InkWeaver: So I'm thining... 60s...70s
Zeiss Manifold: Maybe the Warehouse just exists OUTSIDE TIME
Delcat: Dude, Kool-Aid Man is trying to KILL HIM. This shit just got HARDCORE.
InkWeaver: The door says "To roof" on it. *sigh*
Delcat: Although watered-down Kool-Aid is grody, so I guess he's being threatened too.
Zeiss Manifold: See? This is what happens when you deregulate juice!
InkWeaver: Kool-Aid Man is an idiot - he just ruined the circuit board too.
An Mutt: Does Urkel's being here throw the time frame through more of a loop?
InkWeaver: THAT IS BLACKGROUND DUDE
InkWeaver: SHOW RESPECT FOR YOUR ELDERS, YOUNG MAN
Zeiss Manifold: DID YOU JUST CALL BLACKGROUND DUDE URKEL
An Mutt: Never!
Zeiss Manifold: MAN, WHY DID WE EVER INVITE YOU IN OUR CLUB
An Mutt: Youth power forever!
Delcat: GUYS GUYS
Delcat: THEY WANT US TO DO THIS
InkWeaver: oh god
InkWeaver: oh god
Zeiss Manifold: OH GOD
Delcat: WE CAN'T BE TORN APART
InkWeaver: KOOL AID MAN IS TEARING US APART
Delcat: WE ONLY JUST CAME TOGETHER
InkWeaver: FUCK YOU KOOL AID
Delcat: ...hurrrrr, came together :3
Zeiss Manifold: SHATTERING US LIKE GLASS
InkWeaver: *flings pitcher of kool aid all over the house*
Delcat: now I am sticky. Do you feel better?
InkWeaver: ...*licks own face* Yes. =3
Zeiss Manifold: oh god THE KOOL-AID MAN NOW HAS CONTROL OVER INKY'S FACE
Zeiss Manifold: INKY, YOUR GRIN
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S HORRIFYING
Zeiss Manifold: STOP IT
Delcat: WAIT
InkWeaver: MY WHOLE BODY IS A FACE
Delcat: IT'S OKAY
Delcat: IT'S JUST CRYSTAL LITE
InkWeaver: Oh thank GOD
Zeiss Manifold: A rooftop showdown? It's the end of Cowboy Bebop, but with juice.
Delcat: A rooftop EXECUTION, more like. This is just fucked.
InkWeaver: Too bad Spike couldn't have shot squirtguns full of Kool-Aid
Delcat: Redhead: "Tum te tum just chipping through my umbrella don't mind me"
Delcat: OH MY GOD GUYS
Delcat: RANDOM SKATEBOARDING ROBOT
Delcat: THAT'S LIKE THREE OF THE KEWLEST THINGS IN THE WHOLE OF 1990
Zeiss Manifold: I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE DISNEY ADVENTURES COVER STORY ON THIS
InkWeaver: why hasn't he just fried the damn thing?
InkWeaver: He could fry it, escape, and be rid of Kool-Aid man FOREVER
Zeiss Manifold: "You know what to do! Take off my pants!"
InkWeaver: You know what would be REALLY disturbing.
InkWeaver: Is if they all started drinking out of his head.
Zeiss Manifold: Reading all of Kool-Aid Man's lines in the voice of Coach McGurk?
Zeiss Manifold: Last panel: I HOLD IN MY HAND A LIST OF 205 COMMUNISTS IN WACKY WAREHOUSE
Zeiss Manifold: "OH MY GOD! WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale."
InkWeaver: I love when characters shout out what's happening to them.
InkWeaver: OH MY GOD I'M BEING DEFEATED
Delcat: Uh, no, dude. That computer was FUCKED. Seriously.
InkWeaver: TRAP DOORS ARE OPENING BENEATH MY FEET
Zeiss Manifold: "Let's throw water balloons at what is either paper or sensitive electronics!" WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE
Delcat: Also, the ferris wheel has burnt to the ground and the funhouse is catching
Zeiss Manifold: The fast food bar is radioactive, radon's got into the parent's holding cell...
Delcat: Once it hits the raw Kool-Aid powder, the shit is really going to hit the fan
Zeiss Manifold: That explains why all those cars in the racing track have been running still for 45 minutes.
An Mutt: Who the hell designed that trap door?
InkWeaver: Del, you always paint this picture of a happy surface with disturbing things going on underneath.
Delcat: That stuff EXPLODES, you know
Delcat: WELL LOOK AT IT
InkWeaver: Wait. Is that trap door lifting UP?
InkWeaver: JUMP OFF OF IT YOU FUCKBRAIN
Delcat: HE'S EXECUTING A MAN ON THE ROOF WHILE PEOPLE MAKE MERRY BELOW
Delcat: besides, violence is ~*hilarious*~
InkWeaver: *hits you with a bat*
InkWeaver: LIKE THAT
InkWeaver: wait. Del? DEL?
InkWeaver: SHIT
Delcat: SEE? MY TEETH ARE BROKEN AND I JUST LOST THREE YEARS OF MATH
An Mutt: The trapdoor was built by somebody who specialised in catapults!
Delcat: IT'S HILARIOUS
Zeiss Manifold: LOOK WHAT KOOL-AID HAS DONE
Delcat: my blood tastes like blue raspberry
Zeiss Manifold: Kool-Aid: The demon drink.
InkWeaver: He's falling backward too, so I don't really... see how this is an effective plan.
InkWeaver: Nor do I see how this was part of Kool-Aid's opening ceremony.
InkWeaver: WATCH AS WE
InkWeaver: ...OPEN A HATCH IN THE ROOF
InkWeaver: WHOOPEEEEEEE
Delcat: I think a giant cannon is going to pop out and kill him.
Delcat: Or a balloon. Fucking Comics Code.
Delcat: Maybe it's full of mustard gas?
InkWeaver: Why are they laughing at his joke.
Zeiss Manifold: Depends. Is mustard gas flammable?
InkWeaver: I bet those kids don't even understand what inflation is.
InkWeaver: They were slipping on banana peels earlier.
An Mutt: Regarding the balloon: Now we all know who the bottom in this relationship is.
Delcat: They dance to appease their master, Ink. Anything else, and comes the thumbscrews.
InkWeaver: Question: why isn't he burning through the balloon.
InkWeaver: WHY DO ONLY HIS FEET BURN
Delcat: Man, don't even go there, Mutt, it was bad enough reading "beware of inflation" and immediately thinking of furries.
Zeiss Manifold: Is...is the Wacky Warehouse a TARDIS? Is that it?
Delcat: "Wait a second, the--the balloon's caught on fire from Scorch! It's going down, I can't believe what I'm seeing--oh, the HUMANITY!"
Delcat: "Ohhhhh yeah!"
An Mutt: All of these air puns are leaving me a little light headed.
Delcat: MORAL: Kool-Aid Man did Hindenburg.
An Mutt: I hope I'll hang in there.
An Mutt: I don't want to be a basketcase for you all.
Delcat: ...Mutt did you get into my powder stash
Delcat: dangit mutt I was saving that
InkWeaver: Yeah, I gotta go take a BREATHER
InkWeaver: and buy some BALLOONS
InkWeaver: for my PARTY
Zeiss Manifold: You guys are full of hot air.
InkWeaver: sorry dudes i'm no good at this make-the-pun thing
An Mutt: They made that one already!
Zeiss Manifold: ...Shit.
An Mutt: Sorry to burst your bubble, Zeiss.
An Mutt: You're slow on the uptake!
InkWeaver: MAN WHY CAN'T I PUN
An Mutt: Now I'll just leave you to hang out and dry.
Delcat: Guys I think we've found Mutt's niche
Delcat: NOW DO ONE ABOUT PENISES
InkWeaver: *claps like a toddler*
Zeiss Manifold: Wait a minute...puns, flapjack icons...
Zeiss Manifold: MUTT ARE YOU PUNSY
An Mutt: ;D
Zeiss Manifold: I KNEW IT
InkWeaver: Bottom left dude is staring straight into my soul. I think he's been snorting the powder.
Delcat: OHHHHH NOOOO
InkWeaver: Or should I say
An Mutt: ... *jaw drops*
InkWeaver: DRINKING THE KOOL-AID
An Mutt: IT WENT FULL CIRCLE
InkWeaver: HAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THERE I DID IT I DID IT
InkWeaver: I MADE A PUN -- wait what did I miss
Delcat: Fuck, what a lame money shot. Where are the fire trucks? Where are the ambulances? Where are the tearful survivors?
InkWeaver: i love how the spaces between people are filled with yellow goop.
An Mutt: There's a smiling sun... ?
An Mutt: Oh God they are
Zeiss Manifold: Smiling sun, goop...are we in Teletubbies now?
An Mutt: I'M WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE
Delcat: The balloons annoy the fuck out of me, honestly. They're just little circles and ovals. They couldn't even be arsed to add in shines.
InkWeaver: they're completely flat, like floating discs OF THE FUTURE
InkWeaver: if they were really futuristic, everyone knows they'd have ROCK VIDEOS on them
An Mutt: Don't get all out of shape, Del.
InkWeaver: ROCK VIDEOS
An Mutt: Inky: You may be onto something, there.
Zeiss Manifold: Besides, you ever try to fit roller skates on a balloon?
InkWeaver: that's how I'm gonna refer to the future from now on. RAWK VIDYAS
Delcat: See the town, under thrall of their great red god, lavishing adoration on him under fear of death. The Crimson King is in his court, and no one shall leave alive.
Zeiss Manifold: BLACKGROUND DUDE CHANTS THE FUNERAL MARCH, THE DIALOGUE WON'T SCAN
Zeiss Manifold: TO SUMMON BACK THE FIRE SPRITE TO THE COURT OF THE KOOL-AID MAN
Zeiss Manifold: AH AH AHHHHHH
An Mutt: Is it just me, or did they steal the pacman font for the subheader of that banner?
(Scanner Credits)
Zeiss Manifold: Space-age straw technology!
InkWeaver: This thing really is old if they're getting all hot and bothered over bendy straws
InkWeaver: BENDY STRAAAAAAAAAWS
Delcat: Hey guys, know what I'm thirsty for a tall, cool glass of?
InkWeaver: ...Liquor?
Delcat: YOU GOT IT :D Anyone else want one?
Zeiss Manifold: ...Don't tell me that this entire comic was a just a justification for making juice boxes with "wacky" on them.
InkWeaver: Can I have something fruity, please?
An Mutt: I'm surprised the straw isn't WACKY WOO LOOK AT THIS STRAW FUCKING MAKE SHAPES AND SHIT
Zeiss Manifold: THE STRAW PLAYS ROCK VIDEOS
InkWeaver: It's futuristic - so when you look into it, WACKY RAWK VIDYAS appear
InkWeaver: Oh my god Zeiss get out of my head.
Zeiss Manifold: AND THEN YOU GET JUICE IN YOUR EYES AND IT STINGS
Delcat: But there's still never more than like half a mouthful in it :|
Zeiss Manifold: Fuckin' juice straws, how do they work.
An Mutt: POUR SOME KOOL-AID ON ME
InkWeaver: I'M HOT STICKY SWEET
InkWeaver: FROM MY HEAD TO MY FEETR
InkWeaver: ...FEET
Zeiss Manifold: K-K-K-KOOL-AID, OH K-K-K-KOOL-AID
Delcat: You end up shotgunning them one after another and then you wake up with a traffic cone and the hep
An Mutt: And your car's been clamped back at the Wacky Warehouse, I know the feeling.
Zeiss Manifold: Is it a filk-for-all now? 'Cause you need Kool-Aid, and baby I'm not fooling.
InkWeaver: JUST A SMALL-TOWN STRAW
InkWeaver: LIVING IN A LONELY WORLD
An Mutt: TOOK AN ANTI-GRAVITY TUBE GOIN' ANYWHEEEERRREEEEEE
Zeiss Manifold: DON'T STOP
Zeiss Manifold: THE KOOL-AID
Zeiss Manifold: Del, help us out here, don't just sit out.
An Mutt: HOLD ON TO THAT CIR-CU-EEE-YAAAYAAAIIIIAAAA~
Delcat: I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING HANG ON
Delcat: Okay, guys, I think I have the final word on this debacle.
An Mutt: ¦3
Delcat: An AU, if you would.
Zeiss Manifold: *Applauds*
InkWeaver: *golf clap*
Delcat: Remember, kids, don't do drugs! Just delicious, tooth-rotting Kool-Aid! Drink some today! AND NOTHING ELSE.
InkWeaver: And how!
An Mutt: I'd clap too but my hands were amputated because of my onset diabetes from drinking nothing but Kool-Aid
An Mutt: But it's totally worth it.
Zeiss Manifold: Winners don't do drugs!
Delcat: That's what the wacky straw is for, my friend...that's what the wacky straw is for.
EPILOGUE:
An Mutt: That was the most fun I've ever had with people over the Internet.
InkWeaver: REALLY?!?!?!
Delcat: Huzzah!
InkWeaver: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~
Zeiss Manifold: It was a JUICY experience
InkWeaver: oh dear god zeiss NO
Delcat: okay don't make me hit you now
Delcat: I have a crowbar
An Mutt: do not tempt me zeiss
InkWeaver: ...why do you have a crowbar
Zeiss Manifold: Guys, you're all making STRAWman arguments
An Mutt: I'm all punned out.