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daddyissues_ ([info]daddyissues_) wrote in [info]spinningcompass,
@ 2015-05-05 18:49:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!closed, katherine lokadóttir, loki

Who: Loki and Katherine
Where: His place
What: I seriously don't know - talking - stuff
When: after this
Rating: low - medium
Open: Hahaha, no. You don't know where to find them ;-)
Status: Incomplete
It had been a spur of a moment decision to come here. She had felt like it and as so often when Katherine felt like something, she did it. She didn't let gave her own thoughts the time to drag her down and put up a blockade. While she felt a lot more secure, nervousness still accompanied these meetings. With Thor she had spend enough time to find her place and feel totally at ease but she had only met her father a couple of times and one of them had gone terribly wrong. The bond and trust was still forming from her side but most times she had been left with a feeling of surprise. Somehow she had stumbled into a world of gods with new things to discover every day.

"Father?" she called out from the kitchen and waited for a reply. She wore a simple black dress and her grandmother's necklace which she softly touched as she opened the door to the corridor to call out again.


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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-05 06:49 pm UTC (link)
Loki had been plagued with humanity in the few days since that look of devastation in Carter's eyes. It had infested him with wretched guilt and intense hatred of that dark side in him. Sleep evaded him, his furniture had been hurled at the wall and smashed to pieces, eyes sunken and drained of life. He hadn't known, he hadn't thought what his actions would cause her to feel or to see but that look. That look. It was if a thousand lives had crashed around him in the wake of her. He had underestimated her power and resolve.

He noticed his daughter, because how could he not? And that fucking necklace. "You should not have come," he said, leaning over the broken top of his table, the sceptre glowing menacingly.

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-05 07:06 pm UTC (link)
Surprise, hmm? This was definitely the next one. Katherine stopped dead in her tracks as the state of the place sunk in. This was not good. The signs of a fight but no attacker to be seen. Until... her eyes snapped to her father, darting from the man himself to the glowing home of the infinity stone.

"Dad?" she said softly, taking a careful step towards him. She trusted him to be unpredictable and the fear in her was slowly making its way upwards on the ladder of most prominent feelings. But she had never been one to back down. If you had obstacles thrown into your path your whole life, all you could do is to learn how to fight and overcome them. "What happened?" Her grip on her necklace grew stronger as if it presence could somehow protect her.

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-05 07:21 pm UTC (link)
As she stepped closer, deeper into his sphere, Loki's hand curled into a fist. The sceptre and its gem were fighting with his powers, curling in on himself and that depth of anxiety that plagued him. The table cracked of its own will and Loki stepped back as it fell apart. "I said you should not have come here, Katherine," he said, fingers twitching a little. "You...you.. have no conception of what a monster I am. I am... I am not going to let it hurt you."

Gods, he could hear the voices. A thousand generations of warrior women fighting to protect the only thing they valued more than their own lives: their children's. "She is ashamed of me. You need to leave. NOW!"

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-05 07:35 pm UTC (link)
Again she stopped, her eyes solely fixed on him. The fear started to crumble and make way for rising worry. She had a good guess who 'she' was. Stubbornly, she shook her head. "No," she said. The word was almost a whisper which she underlined with a shake of her head. "The man I talked to the last time is not a monster."

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-05 07:43 pm UTC (link)
How could this girl possibly conceive of this universe? He had been so disconnected from the other realms, it was suffocating him, it was pulling his mind apart at the seams. Of course he was a monster, he knew that now, in isolation. He had almost ripped an innocent child from its mother's love for fun? He had sworn to escape this wretched place but in doing so, he'd compromised on what his mother had taught him.

"That man is dead, little girl. I suggest you run and hide... this man will rip you apart from the inside." he said, turning to look at her. The blues of his eyes were bright and crystal, the iris turning like the earth.

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-05 08:02 pm UTC (link)
The crazed look in this eyes should have been her clue to turn her back, leave while she was still able to. She had no idea what brought the change. Her eyes quickly darted across the room to search for clues but the trail of destruction was silent to her.

"You don't talk as if you want to be that monster," she said. She took another brave and foolish step towards her. She wasn't ready to give up on this. The man she wanted back had told her to let her grandmother's actions and love be her guide and through her eyes he looked like a tortured soul. One she could understand far too much in its rage.

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-05 08:18 pm UTC (link)
"It's in my nature, can't you see? I am nothing more than that," he said, turning the darkest shade of ice blue as he spoke before his skin returned to its normal human-like state. "Your grandmother tried, she tried to see the good in me and nurture that whilst Odin doted on your uncle, but I have done nothing but rip apart everything she held dear."

He summoned the sceptre into his hand and touched the tip to Katherine's forehead, showing her what he had done with the Carter woman. How he had tortured her for nothing more than his own gain and cowered from her wild shots and how one ended up a few inches from her heart.

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-05 09:25 pm UTC (link)
Unwanted images flooded through her head. When they were gone she stared at her father in shock. She knew what he had been all along. She hadn't wanted to see it but she had known. Strangely, it had more been the sudden appearance of the images than its content that brought the surprise on her face. She did not agree with what he did. Fuck, no. Angry eyes locked with his and her hand collided with his cheek. Shit, slapping him felt like slapping a rock. Nonetheless, she wasn't that shocked by his actions.

She swallowed and avoided her eyes shortly, getting a grip on herself. "Okay," she said with a strangely neutral tone as she swallowed. "Not your greatest move, dad. I can't say I'm particularly proud. That's a -" She snorted softly and shook her head. "- that's an asshole thing to do. I don't know her personally but Peggy is a good person and if you get through a male chauvinist world to reach a position she had, that says something." The words were tainted with her own experiences. Little Katherine who was only good for cheering at her brothers, never allowed to take part in an adventure herself.

She looked back up at him, stubbornness back in place. "But I'm not leaving. I hated you. No, I wanted to hate you. It's the easy thing to do, you know. After you disposed of me like a piece of garbage, I wanted to rip you apart. My anger followed me everywhere I went. Abi gave me the nudge in the right direction." So had Maryanne but she wasn't someone Katherine wanted to mention. "And yes, I consider it the right direction. You've been alone for too long. I know how it is to push people away. Don't do this to your own daughter. Don't do this to yourself."

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-05 10:03 pm UTC (link)
He hated the way she looked at him. It was the way that Odin had looked at him all his life and made Loki feel like he was nothing compared to his biological son. The slap barely registered physically but it stung nonetheless. His hatred calmed just enough for his eyes to go back to their normal blue colour and not the crystalline swirls of the sceptre.

"Yes, well, in hindsight it probably was not one of my smartest moves, Katherine..." he almost growled and the sceptre was tossed to the corner of the room, forgotten. "She... I thought that she was like them. Someone pretending to be a hero, fighting the good fight for the betterment of mankind without wanting them to evolve but I was wrong, little one," he looked up at Kat with sad warmth. "She didn't battle for glory, or care about plaudits. She fought for the safety of her family, for the safety of her men-in-arms. When you are at war, you don't fight for your country. You fight for the person beside you in battle."

He turned again and sighed, shaking his head. "Your grandmother taught me that when I was a child. She didn't fight for the betterment of the realm at her death, she fought to protect her children. She kept Thor's love safe..." he slammed his fist into a wall, glad at the slight pain. "Agent Carter does this also. There is much of your grandmother in her eyes. In the eyes of all mothers and all true warriors." the plaster of the wall crumbled. "And I tried to destroy what Frigga held in the highest esteem."

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-05 10:17 pm UTC (link)
A jerk ran through her body as he suddenly punched the wall. Her eyes grew wide in shock for a moment before she caught herself. Katherine held strong women in the highest of regards. The ones who fought for their believes and loved ones like she had never been allowed to.

"If you see your errors, why don't you try to do what she would have wanted you to do?" she asked softly, a curious touch to her voice. Sometimes she really had no idea what went on in his mind.

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-05 10:23 pm UTC (link)
"She would want nothing to do with me after what I did," he replied just as softly, shaking his head. "She tried to stamp out my nature but failed. I am nothing but the monster I was born. I'm sorry that it's not what you want to hear."

He waved his hand across the wall and his table. Both were instantly fixed, smooth and without crack or blemish. "There's no coming back from this. Agent Carter will soon remember it was my doing and then they will hunt me until I am as dead as Frigga. Only without the precious honour."

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-05 10:38 pm UTC (link)
In her head Katherine went over her options. His stubbornness was as irritating as her own. He was so adamant when it came to his believes and there was this tiny bit of doubt that maybe he was right. He did not hurt her but he had proved that he was capable of awful deeds.

"I'm not sure I believe you. You always have choices I think. But you have more experience... so, what do we do?" she asked, looking at him. "If the monster is in your blood, then I guess I am one too. Are we just waiting for hell to break loose then?"

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-06 10:50 pm UTC (link)
How could she be so naive when it came to him? It was a folly of his own, of course it was. Loki was himself once so naive to think he was capable of loving, of cherishing. He was not so certain about that any longer.

"And what, pray tell dear daughter, do I do?" he laughed darkly, "You wish me to beg on bended knee for her to not tell her husband how I nearly ripped the life from the mother of his children?"

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-06 11:09 pm UTC (link)
Katherine wiped her hair out of her face and tugged it behind her ear as she pondered her reaction. This was beyond any of her experiences. The one person that had helped her more than anything had been her best friend who had always given her two things: honesty and compassion.

"No," she shook her head. "I don't believe in begging. You should know that by now." She would rather die with her pride still intact than owe her life to begging. At least, she wouldn't do it for her own life. "But I think you should apologise. If you feel guilty, if you've done something wrong, then you apologise... the people here are astonishingly - almost stupidly - forgiving at times." She made it sound easier than it was to her. Even she needed to kick herself at times. She doubted her father would follow her words but she wouldn't conceal her opinion.

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-08 08:52 pm UTC (link)
Perhaps he was truly beyond redemption, he thought as he peered out to the sky above and feeling no connection to the universe. It was only when he stepped through a door that he felt back among the stars and not caged like an animal. He wanted to be better for Katherine more than anything, but confinement did not suit his tendencies towards mayhem.

He cracked his knuckles audibly and bowed his head. "I must make amends for what I have done. She might not remember yet, I am unsure, but she will when she sees me again. That woman is a master of tact and cunning, Katherine. I should not have underestimated her as I did."

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-08 10:30 pm UTC (link)
Of all the reactions that she thought she might get, this wasn't one of them. She had envisioned herself arguing with him for the best part of the day - most likely with her giving up in total frustration at the end of it.

She was taken aback a bit. Next surprise. A second passed as she found her composure again. "Well, so are you." She pulled her lips to the side into a funny face and shrugged. "Do you want me to talk to her first?"

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-09 12:13 pm UTC (link)
He chuckled a little and walked towards his daughter, cupping her face with his palms and kissing her forehead before leaning back to stare into her eyes. "My daughter, this is not your issue to take up," he said quietly, "Go home to your uncle and practise those powers. Things will be made anew, that I promise."

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-09 01:02 pm UTC (link)
She subconsciously leaned into his touch, soaking up every bit of affection she could get. Her heart beat became stronger by the still unfamiliar gesture of a male parental figure. She nodded softly and bit her lip. "Okay. But I'll drop by on Monday." She had free space in her schedule then. It wasn't question either. She didn't really want to leave him any choice on the matter. He would get a couple of days to sort himself out but then she should check on him. She knew she would already be worried enough.

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-10 10:31 am UTC (link)
"Don't worry yourself so much, child," he said, stepping back just a touch. "Agent Carter shall come to no harm by my hand. I might even be able to heal the wound she sustained from the shot. Really though, it will be made good." Loki promised, feeling the ache of his mother's loss deep in his gut. Murdering the demon who had killed her bore him nothing more than revenge. Her loss would always be felt in his soul.

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-10 11:06 am UTC (link)
Katherine gave a short nod. She wasn't sure whether to trust him on this or not. Even with the right intention, her father's ways weren't always the best and most successful. But who was she that she could question his actions before they even happened? That had exactly been how Liam had always treated her. She was a hypocrite if she did not give him her trust and naive if she did.

"It's just bit hard not to," she said with a coy glance to her side and a shadow of a shrug. "You just do if you care."

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[info]truly_desperate
2015-05-11 11:48 am UTC (link)
"Do not look at me so conflicted, darling girl," he admonished, "You know your own mind better than anyone on this realm or any other. Look into your heart and you will see whether you are able to trust a man like me to be your father. That right is earned, not a given."

He stepped back for a moment and looked at her proudly, if it was only a flash on his face, "I care for my actions and my words."

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[info]daddyissues_
2015-05-11 12:16 pm UTC (link)
"I trust you to be a good father," she said with strength behind her calm and quiet voice. She was taken by surprise by the lack of her own doubt. She did not necessarily trust him to be a good man but that was strangely unimportant for her. Others might need someone to hide behind their heroic parents, show off with their father's achievements. Katherine just wanted someone who truly cared about her, where she came first, someone who had her back in the moments of her greatest fear and despair. She could live with not having a father who would joke with her friends or come to her birthday parties as long as she knew that he was there when she needed him.

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