Tweak

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Tweak says, "ROSE GIMME THE KEYS ROSE NOW"

Blackbeard (saltpepperbeard) wrote in spinningcompass,
@ 2022-04-14 17:09:00

Entry tags:

!closed, blackbeard, stede bonnett

Who: Ed and Stede
What: Lazy night
Where: Wheel 3 park
When: Evening, after this
Closed/Ongoing

The day had felt longer than it had actually been. They’d only been in France for a few hours, not going beyond the little village past the castle. But Ed was tired anyway. He would blame it on chasing down a horse but he knew that wasn’t true. The horse had been weak, near-neglected. They’d have to feed it damn well and get someone to brush it out before they attempted to sell it if they wanted to convince anyone it was worth anything.

No, the exhaustion was a mental one. It didn’t set in until after the horse had been tucked away in the castle’s stables and he’d shown Stede the money he’d managed to scrape together that morning. It wasn’t much but it was enough for some nice food and a few books. Exhaustion bred from being in a place where he was so out of his element, from not having his leather and beard and name to hide behind, and mostly from holding himself back, away from going too far for Stede, all. damn. day.

But he smiled anyway because they were walking slowly back along their river, the little camp in sight now, and though he was hiding his limp as much as he could, Stede never outpaced him. Stede, who was in the middle of an almost giddy rant about the books they’d bought. About how nice it would be to have some good bread and cheese and preserves by the fire. Who glowed gold even in whatever fake light pretended to be a setting sun here. He had to hold himself back, yes, but Stede still made him happy.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 07:24 am UTC (link)

It did not escape his notice that Ed was smiling at him, hidden as he tried to keep it. Relief and happiness would always flood Stede when Ed managed a smile; since Stede had landed, it felt like Ed didn't smile nearly as much as he had done upon The Revenge and it always stung Stede to see the apathy or anger on his beautiful face. Still, Ed was healing from whatever unspoken horror he had faced, Stede thought, and perhaps it was Stede himself who was helping him to heal.

"Oh absolutely. A poem is best when you can hear the rhythm, like music, the timbre, the tone!" he beamed, elated that Ed had asked. "Some are lyrical and muscal, some are dark and full of tension and horror. It's never quite the same reading it to yourself."

As soon as they got back home to camp, Stede reached down to take off his shoes, as pained as his feet were. He glanced up, finding himself staring as Ed let down his hair from its knot, his hair kinked from the place it had been tied.

"Tired?" he asked absently. "It's been a long day, hasn't it?"

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 08:01 am UTC (link)

"You should read 'em out then," Ed suggested, because somehow making it sound like that's just how it should be done and less like a request made it feel more like something he was allowed to do under his new set of self-imposed boundaries.

"Mmm," he murmured, following Stede's lead and sitting on a rock he'd relocated to next to the fire pit to take off his boots. They hadn't exactly fit in with the softer, gentler linens he'd been wearing all day, but they were more comfortable to him than the short buckle shoes from the navy. While there he undid the ties of his breeches to remove the stockings as well, draping them over his boots instead of folding them.

"I'll start a fire?" It wasn't really necessary, it didn't get cold enough. But if Stede was going to be reading it'd make that a lot easier when the light went down in a few minutes. And he assumed Stede liked them if he'd been wild enough to put a full fireplace in his ship's cabin. "Pass me the flint? In the little box at the back," he asked, already poking about in the fire pit with his knife.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 08:15 am UTC (link)

"You'd be alright with that, then?" Stede asked, not wanting to impose his own joys to the detriment of Ed's evening. He'd not seemed quite the same, still, not as happy or enigmatic as Stede's Ed had been, but sometimes there were glimmers, some beautiful seen of Edward beyond the pain this man was obviously in. "The crew used to love hearing the books I had read aloud, I don't think they had heard such tales of wooden boys and snow queens," he chuckled.

Stede averted his eyes again, going softly warm at the cheeks as he made himself comfortable too, running his fingers through his golden hair as if he wanted to run his hands down Ed's.

"Oh yes, what a good idea," he said, springing up to get the flint so they could start a fire. Ed was good at such practical things. "Here you go," he muttered, holding the flint out to Ed.

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 08:35 am UTC (link)

"I won't mind," He said as if it hadn't been the answer he'd been hoping for the whole time. "They probably hadn't. I didn't." He wasn't sure if that was really saying much, but he could figure that most of Stede's crew had grown up in situations not far from his own childhood. Ones where days were spent doing chores and parents were far too tired from the day's labor to stay up and tell stories. Stede had never known such a life, and while he wanted to be mad about that, Ed mostly just found himself happy that Stede had been protected from that sort of hardship. That his love of reading and stories had been able to flourish instead.

Ed took the flint as it was offered, maybe letting his fingers linger against Stede's just long enough he could tell himself it was unintentional. He never really got tired of the wonder he saw plain as day across Stede's face when he did things like this. They seemed so mundane to him, but to Stede it was like he was performing miracles. He took some dry grass and set it in the fire pit, striking his knife against the flint a few times until the sparks caught. He handed it back to Stede and added some kindling, building slowly until the fire was strong enough to take some real bits of wood, flames just barely licking Ed's hands as he got everything placed.

It was a small one, like the other night, just enough to burn while they settled in so he wouldn't have to spend time tending it. "Enough to read by?" he asked, finally standing again, his knee cracking in protest but not as sore as it had been walking.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 08:51 am UTC (link)

"Oh you missed out on so much," Stede sighed happily. "Why, when mother and father had gone to bed, I would sneak into the library to steal some books to read. Father would catch me, of course, but it was always so worth it to read." He had spent many nights like that, reading as much as he could before going back to bed; the servants had raised him after his father's death and it was even better to read without being encumbered by fear of getting caught, but still he loved every word and page he had devoured.

It was truly magical, the way Ed could simply conjure fire as if he was besieged by great power. He had a strength and wisdom that Stede lacked, borne out of experience in the world. Stede could start a fire, but it would take him so much longer than Ed's practiced method.

"It's perfect," he answered as the fire got to a soft roar. Stede reached for the packet of books he had gotten hold of in France, mostly in French, but beautifully decorated. "It's strange, isn't it? Going through a door to our future, and most people's distant past. No wonder people keep writing if these are the things they dream up."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 09:53 am UTC (link)

Ed hummed softly, "So you've always been a rebel then." Because that's who he was, wasn't it. Stede had rebelled against his upbringing and what it said he was meant to be. He rebelled against the traditions of piracy and what he was supposed to be as a captain within them. Ed was fairly certain Stede would stand up to nature or God herself if she tried to tell him to be someone he wasn't. It was one of the things he loved most about him. Liked. Liked most. He corrected in his own thoughts.

He loosened the ties at the back of his breeches just enough to pull the shirt out of them and off, making himself comfortable enough for sleep. He didn't have many clothes and sharing with Stede meant even less, so sleeping in as few as possible meant he needed to wash them less and they would last longer. Or at least that was what he'd say if Stede questioned ever it. He sprawled onto the blanket while Stede went through the books, watching the way he held them, drew his fingers over the details on their covers.

"I haven't thought about it much," he admit, though it was only technically a truth. He hadn't thought about it much because he was specifically avoiding those thoughts. Magic, real magic, not just fuckery and sleight of hand, it made him nervous. He liked to be in control of the world around him, or at least understand it. Back home he could know the exact moment a fog would roll in based on how the clouds looked earlier in the day or he could know a storm was coming by the color of sunrise or tell if a ship would be an easy take or a hard fight just by how their sails looked in his telescope. Magic was random, unpredictable. "Just gald it wasn't too weird over there, still know how everything works and shit."

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 11:05 am UTC (link)

Stede chuckled at the notion of him being a rebel. He certainly didn't feel like one during his childhood, more just a coward, dancing around the fear of his own father beating him once again for breaking rank to simple read. "I suppose I have, in a way," he smiled a little sadly before he shook it off in an instant. "Perhaps unconsciously so. There does come a point in an adult life where you realise time too precious to waste on being afraid. My life was dictated to me, but now I write my own story."

He was, however, exceedingly happy to have met like-minded people. Even most pirates hadn't liked him, when he was so devout against casual violence and thievery for its own sake. Ed made himself comfortable and it made Stede pause in a way. This man was all he had now. Friends were difficult to come by, and enemies made easy.

"The doors and witchcraft here does have its upsides. Though I'm sure we are yet to see the downsides." He shuffled around his new books, deciding on a shorter tale written in English, because they were both indeed exhausted from the day and he didn't want to bother Ed.

"Do you want me to read to you?" He asked hesitantly. "Please feel free to tell me to fuck off."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 04:08 pm UTC (link)

"Bet you could," Ed mumbled, sprawling and stretching on the blanket, getting himself comfortable. "Write stories I mean." He didn't really have anything to base that on other than knowing Stede and having a gut feeling about it but he thought it true all the same.

"Don't fuck off." His voice was softer, a slight smokiness to it now that he was laid back and easing into the dusk. He thought about getting his pipe but it was over in the tent and didn't feel like getting up again. "C'mon, read to me." It almost came out like a joke, but a kind one, gentle teasing more than something meant to hurt.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 05:18 pm UTC (link)

The idea of him being able to write anything worth reading? It made Stede chuckle, shaking his head at the notion. "What stories would I write? The ones of all my failures? Maybe if it were a comedy..." But Stede waved off the idea nonetheless. "Your stories are far more noteworthy than mine, Ed. Even this campsite is moreso."

Stede sat at Ed's feet with his chosen book, his own legs folded underneath him. The fire was perfect by his side, warm and light enough to help him to read as the night gradually got darker and he had to admit, Ed's face was dancing with the flames' light.

Why he was so nervous to read from a book, Stede didn't understand. His stomach felt odd as he sat at Ed's feet, the man prone on the floor in front of him, the blanket rippled. He was relaxed, comfortable, just himself.

"This is Pride and Prejudice, ostensibly a novel regarding scurrilous men and their seductions..." he grinned a bit, clearing his throat before he began to read. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters..."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 05:37 pm UTC (link)

"Think you'd be surprised mate." Ed shrugged. Of course he had plenty of stories but his were violent, rough and vulgar kinds of things and while he was sure there was a market for that, he imagined a great deal more people would be interested in the tales of the gentleman pirate. Or at least he would be.

He definitely, absolutely did not pout a bit, when Stede took a seat at his feet instead of somewhere closer. But if he had he forced his face clear of it quickly. That wasn't the sort of thing friends pouted over. But he would maybe admit to tipping his foot to one side, toes brushing Stede's leg so there was at least that small bit of contact.

He made a face at the first line but held back his commentary, far more interested in hearing Stede's voice continue than to interrupt him and make his thoughts known.

By the time they got a few pages in, Ed had turned onto one side and curled up a little, toward Stede, one arm under his head and the other resting across his hip, fingers occasionally bridging the gap between them to draw lazily along Stede's elbow or arm or whatever else was in reach before he would correct himself and pull them back. His eyes were closed and, though the language was a little flowery for his taste, he was following along alright.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 05:52 pm UTC (link)

By the time Stede had gotten through half a chapter, he wondered if Ed was asleep by the way he was curled up, eyes closed and sweet, sending shivers over Stede's skin when he would touch him to encourage him to continue. Stede knew that Pride and Prejudice wasn't exactly a fairytale or an adventure novel, but the prose was beautiful; it made him picture exactly the scene the way the author painted it so.

His free hand drifted idly to Ed's calf, rubbing soft circles as Stede read. It was barely a thought, more of a reflex, to want to be close together as possible. His hand on Ed's leg moved to the rhythm of the prose.

""Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you."

"Which do you mean?" and turning round he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said: "She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."

Mr. Bingley followed his advice. Mr. Darcy walked off; and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings toward him. She told the story, however, with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 06:10 pm UTC (link)

"Shit sounds too fucking complicated," Ed mumbled, voicing thoughts he hadn't entirely meant to voice out loud but not really bothered by the fact he had either. He wasn't asleep, but about as close as he could get without it, his body lax, mind focused really only on Stede's voice and the story being told without as much worry for all the things that usually spun in the background lately.

Especially that voice that kept him from doing all of the things he wanted to do when he looked at Stede was far too quiet to be heard over the man in question and the dying fire.

The touch on his leg, gentle circles rubbed against his bare skin; it was almost too much but he wanted so much more still. And with that nagging in the back of his mind gone...

Ed curled even closer, reluctantly pulling his leg away from Stede's hand but intead turning to lay his head in his lap. It was too much, but he didn't care. "So I can...hear better," he whispered as an excuse.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 06:25 pm UTC (link)

Stede just chuckled at Ed's comment, smiling down fondly at the house-cat of a man practically curled into his side. Perhaps it was better than his eyes were closed or he would have seen Stede run his teeth over his lip, dragging his eyes down the curve of the man's jawline. He was handsome, perhaps too handsome to be a pirate. Stede knew of women who would swoon for Edward Teach and he wasn't so sure he wouldn't swoon either.

If he was painfully disappointed in Ed moving his leg away, it was swiftly replaced by a numb panic at his head in Stede's lap instead. He had to squash down the shock of a shiver down his spine at how this felt - the warmth of his skin on Stede's thigh pervasive through his linen trousers. He would die if Ed were to see his reaction, possibly by Ed's own sword.

"Right... right..." Stede mumbled, having lost his place entirely. "It was generally evident whenever they met, that he did admire her and to her it was equally evident that Jane was yielding to the preference which
she had begun to entertain for him from the first, and was in a way to be very much in love; but she considered with pleasure that it was not likely to be discovered by the world in general, since Jane united, with great strength of feeling, a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness of manner which would guard her from the suspicions of the impertinent."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 06:38 pm UTC (link)

Ed could feel Stede tense as he lay down, and the worry was back for a short moment, but then Stede just got on with reading and he was able to convince himself that it was okay.

But as Stede went on, reading of love guarded from the world Ed's fingers went tight in the blanket below him. It was different, hiding love from the world versus hiding it from yourself, from the object of that love, but it didn't matter, it still brought the feeling forward in his mind.

But he didn't want Stede to stop reading, didn't want to ruin the prospect of it happening again or to lose his place laying with him. So he closed his eyes even tighter, held the blanket to ground him, and shoved it all away as best he could.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 06:48 pm UTC (link)

Even Stede would admit that it took a while for his heart to stop hammering as it did in his chest, forcing himself not to think of how Ed's hair was draped across his lap, tangled and tight, how his fingers itched to touch his skin and his feel the stubble across his cheek, feel his pulse graze his neck. He had never felt this before in his life. A strange thrum that kept him slowly insane. It was need.

He could no longer hold himself back and used his fingertips to skim back the long dark hair from across Ed's eyes, tucking it back behind the man's ears, lingering perhaps a beat too long. Edward was difficult not to adore, not to love, but this? Stede felt... compelled to keep touching him.

"When dinner was over, she returned directly to Jane, and Miss Bingley began abusing her as soon as she was out of the room. Her manners were pronounced to be very bad indeed, a mixture of pride and impertinence; she had no conversation, no style, no beauty. Mrs. Hurst thought the same, and added:

"She has nothing, in short, to recommend her, but being an excellent walker. I shall never forget her appearance this morning. She really looked almost wild."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 07:07 pm UTC (link)

That touch! The feel of Stede's fingers, soft but ever so slightly worn, brushing across his cheek, lingering along his jaw below his ear. He wanted so badly to turn and kiss those fingers, was halfway there, but then the words rang through and he stopped short.

Was that him? Wild and filthy and without manners or beauty? He knew they weren't Stede's words but to hear them from him set his cheeks pink with shame. It was surely what society would think of him. What they had thought of him on that French boat, once they'd gotten over their amusement with him.

"Why are they so cruel to her?" he asked, his voice high and soft and maybe slightly scared.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 07:16 pm UTC (link)

Stede paused, looking down from the book to Ed, feeling the pain that was inflicted about Elizabeth as if it were the pain he felt himself in childhood too. He swallowed, pushing down his memories into non-existence. He could feel that Ed needed his own words more than anything. Perhaps he thought himself to be mocked; his own father had been so abusive, so cruel. It was fresh in Stede's memory from just before he had awoken here with his wound.

"They are cruel; unjustly cruel to a person of thought and spirit beyond what they can attain. In truth, they're jealous - Elizabeth is everything they are not: educated, witty, loved. Mr Darcy clearly enjoys that part of her, the freedom Elizabeth represents."

His voice was low, almost reverential. "That kind of spirit draws in people. They feast upon it, one way or another. It's beautiful."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 07:36 pm UTC (link)

When Ed opened his eyes to look up to Stede they were wide, bright. He no longer saw himself as Elizabeth, not when he had the rest of the background, but so her as Stede instead.

"Those are good things to love." The words were whispered, surely only audible between the two of them. It was the first time he'd said the word out loud and even if Stede didn't realize it was in reference to him, Ed knew. And it nearly had him shaking. To have that in the open once more, to know Stede might see it and run again.

He was nervous to do it but his hand moved, reaching up to grasp at Stede's wrist carefully, holding his hand close to his face as if he thought maybe if he could keep him close long enough it would keep him from leaving.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 07:56 pm UTC (link)

Stede had to remember to breathe when Ed opened his eyes. It was hard to forget the sight of them - dark pools, voids of depth like the darkest unexplored caves, beautiful, immense and terrifying. He didn't quite know what to do, what this was. Stede felt tense and loose at the same time, as if he would combust to flames if Ed pulled away so much as an inch from him.

"Yes," Stede muttered back, his skin burning where Ed grasped at his own wrist. "One shouldn't be afraid of love," he whispered too, scared that this spell might break in one way or another.

Tentatively, Stede brushed his fingertips along the curve of Ed's sharp cheekbone just slightly. He had to touch him, had to be close, close enough to scare him. Nothing had ever felt like this before. Was it love? Stede had never known it, not even for his wife, nor his children. But he had to, he just had to make sure that Ed wouldn't move, wouldn't even dare think to. Stede wouldn't survive the profundity of his loss.

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 08:13 pm UTC (link)

One shouldn't be afraid of love. He wished it could be true but how could he not when it had gone so wrong once already. He still didn't know why Stede never met him on the dock, and he might never, but maybe things could be different. Maybe Stede would be okay with him if they didn't have the expectations of their lives. If they didn't have to run away and give everything up to be together because that had already been done. Maybe he would be worth it without all of that.

And if he wasn't...how much more could it hurt the second time around.

He leaned up, still holding Stede's wrist but wrapping his other arm around his neck to hold them close as he pressed his lips to Stede's. It was light, tentative, almost nervous, but he did it anyway, nearly clinging to the other man as he did.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 08:24 pm UTC (link)

It was like it happened in reduced time, as if the earth had slowed down time only for them. Stede didn't know what to do, what to think, only feel as Ed pressed that hesitant, fluttering light kiss that any other might dismiss as friendly more than anything, but Stede knew. He could feel Ed's hand burning into his skin. It had barely been a touch but Stede felt more then than he had in all his decades on God's gracious earth.

Wasn't that a terrifying notion.

But, oh, how wonderful too. To be wanted, what an intoxicating thing. He dropped the book to the ground and brought his hand up to Ed's back, holding him unsteadily in place.

"Do that again," he whispered, finding himself too frightened that the kiss had been his dream and not reality when all around them seemed fantastical.

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 08:46 pm UTC (link)

He heard the book drop and only just had enough hope left to wish it was for good reason, not just shock or terror. He didn't move away, didn't dare open his eyes.

But when he heard Stede ask him to do it again Ed let out a relieved sigh that almost sounded like a sob.

And he did; holding him tighter until their chests were pressed together and kissing him again, with much more confidence this time. The arm wrapped around Stede moved until his hand rest at the back of his neck, fingers brushing the slightly sweat-damp curls that laid there, and Ed pulled himself up until he was almost in Stede's lap. He wanted to be close, to never have to let him go again. He'd gotten another taste of this man and he already knew he'd be lost to it as long as he was allowed.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 09:00 pm UTC (link)

Stede's heart was pounding in his chest. This was all so much - the insanity of where they were, going through a door to France - scarcely less believable than a beautiful man kissing him as if the world were to come to an end if they did not. He understood the feeling well, for now he knew the soft sweetness of Edward's lips on his own, how desperate but scared his movements were.

His hands were planted on Ed's back, clinging to him just as desperate. It felt right, that was what scared the man so. It felt so natural and right, because why hadn't they been kissing this entire time? It felt wasted moments, blowing on the air as confetti.

Emboldened, Stede slid one hand into Ed's hair and tugged him back for a bruising kiss, determined not to run from this feeling. They could make the insanity of this world work if they were willing to fight for it.

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 09:18 pm UTC (link)

It felt as if all of the blood in Ed's body was rushing through him at top speed, buzzing in his ears and pounding through his chest and he felt like his whole being just wanted to burst out through it. The first time had been wonderful, soft, and light, and what the two of them had needed, sitting there staring at the sea in Navy issue uniforms, and he would always remember that. But this! Stede's hand was in his hair and pulling him close and it was so much more.

He knew, without doubt this time, that Stede wanted him there as much as he wanted to be there and it was a feeling he wasn't sure he'd ever had in his life before now. And one he never wanted to forget again. Stede had seen him near his worst, covered in coal and wearing his anger like armor but he still wanted to kiss him and pull him close and almost admit that there was love between them, even if it wasn't with words.

"One shouldn't be afraid of love," he mimicked, just barely a whisper against Stede's lips, his nose brushing lightly long his cheek.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 09:29 pm UTC (link)

Stede was panting, out of breath, and more than a little broken from the force of passion and feeling running between them. Ed smelled of sweat and salty air like the sea itsself, and smoke from the fire just kissing his hair. He was more than beautiful to Stede, as if sculpted from fine hands as to what a man should be, all the things Stede admired most in him stripped bare to who he actually was. Words had somehow escaped him, the thought of being loved for who he was, faults and all, an incredible notion when he had been made to feel belittled as he had.

He didn't want to let go of this night, this perfect night where they could just exist in happiness, let go of all that came before. Stede let his eyes close as Ed leant into him, soaking up the feeling.

"I'd never felt it before," he admitted quietly. "Not for anyone. My... Mary, the children. I felt nothing and thought myself broken. And now... you are here."

Unable to stop himself, Stede stole a kiss again, pressing his forehead to Ed's. "Tell me this is no mere phantasm."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 09:48 pm UTC (link)

"I don't...think I have either. Maybe my mother, but it's...different." Ed whispered, just as quiet, working through his thoughts out loud because he knew Stede was safe enough to do it with. He moved a hand to Stede's waist, resting just below his ribs holding him more gently but so close.

"If it is. I don't want to leave." He admit, leaning into the kiss like it was the easiest thing in the world, because at that moment it was. Nothing could feel better or easier than this. He couldn't say for sure it wasn't all a dream or illusion or something else. He didn't think it was because he didn't think he'd ever be able to come up with this, but there wasn't really any way to be sure. He wanted to believe it was real though. Because waking up back in the alternative would just hurt that much more now.

"You're...really okay?" he asked eventually, needing that one more reassurance to make sure he wasn't wrong again. That he wouldn't fall asleep and wake up with Stede gone to live somewhere else without him.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 10:07 pm UTC (link)

Stede nodded in understanding, because yes, nothing had ever felt this way before. He could just stay here kissing Edward all of his life and die a happy man. "Yes," Stede swallowed when Ed moved his hand to his waist, wondering how he was allowed to have all of this. "This is... it feels right. Whole."

He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. His own hands itched to move from Ed's back but simply rested there instead, fingertips pressing and feeling his muscle beneath them. This scared him, of course it did - he had grown up with no love, married to a woman who despised him, borne children who felt nothing for him - to feel actual love was terrifying. He might die without it.

"Yes, yes," he replied in reassurance to both of them. "I just... I want to hold you. And kiss you, and watch the stars burn out forever. It's not too much to ask, is it?"

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 10:23 pm UTC (link)

"It's not," Ed answered, moving just enough to literally crawl into Stede's lap this time, knees on either side of Stede's hips to he didn't put too much weight on him. There wasn't really any way to be closer but he wanted to be anyway. "Can have whatever the fuck you want Stede. Never too much."

Who was he to say? No one really, but he would burn the world to the ground if it meant they could stay and he supposed that would have to be enough. He leaned himself in, resting himself on Stede's shoulder, face tucked into the side of his neck where he left soft kisses tinted with rough stubble. It was an intimacy, a sentimentality he'd never permit himself to indulge with others before. The soft side of it all, gentle presses of lips and leaning into each other and cuddling close. Something Edward had always desired but Blackbeard could never allow.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 10:37 pm UTC (link)

"Whatever I want?" he echoed, blinking at the thought as Ed inexplicably climbed closer into his lap. Now that was an enticing notion with a man as beautiful as he in Stede's lap. Perhaps all those glances he had stolen were not in jealous of his beauty, but in awe and desire of it. "Well-"

Stede slid his hands from Ed's back to curve around the back of his thighs and haul him ever closer. The soft kisses to his necks caused him to shiver and break into goosebumps, a tenderness he had never received before. "Edward," Stede muttered, sighing in happiness. "What did I do to be so lucky as to have you in my arms?"

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-15 10:59 pm UTC (link)

"The world" Ed moved easily, wrapping himself further around Stede. It conjured thoughts of the Kraken, of some many-armed thing wrapping him up, but maybe even that could become something not so horrible.

"Survived." His lips were still pressed against Stede's skin as he said the words. "Stayed you when everything in the world wanted you something else." And that was still what Ed most admired about him, maybe even most loved, no matter who or what tried to turn Stede away from who he was he held on to himself. It was something Ed had never been able to do. He was fairly certain that, until very, very recently, he didn't even know who he was. But Stede? Stede was always Stede. And he loved him.

Ed didn't dare ask the same question, sure that he didn't deserve Stede. But he was selfish and would keep him anyway.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-15 11:22 pm UTC (link)

"I have the world, right here," Stede smirked a little, knowing it was a ridiculous line but true in this instance. His hands squeezed around Ed's thighs as if to punctuate the point he had been making. He would try, for their sake, to be a better person, to be the man he had always been - brave, foolhardy, open and honest. As difficult as it may be, it had to be the way for them to be together. "A man could want for little else, Edward Teach."

Those words were whispered as if prayer on his skin and Stede shifted, bristled by the confidence they instilled. It came to him that when someone loved you, truly loved you, you began to see yourself as if through their eyes. He had been a better person around Ed because Ed believed in him above all else.

"Fuck..." Stede breathed out, unable to articulate his gratitude any better. Instead, he bent his head and captured Ed's lips in a dark, passionate kiss, pouring all of himself into that instead. For once, Stede Bonnet, lost for words.

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-16 06:36 am UTC (link)

Ed laughed softly. It was a little ridiculous, but he liked that. They were a little ridiculous. "You're allowed to want a little else." he teased lightly.

But oh that curse. Stede wasn't some blushing flower, he cursed with some regularity, but not like that. Not like it was the only word in the world and he needed it to be said anyway. When their lips met again his hands moved too, sliding from Stede's side to around his back fisting into the hem of his shirt causing it to bunch and lift slightly, the other moving to hold his jaw, the side of his neck. He returned the kiss with as much adoration as he knew how, letting every moment linger just in case it'd be the last.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-16 07:24 am UTC (link)

But how could he? How could Stede want anything more or less in the world than the love of a good man? So many lived in loveless unions, fraught with bitterness and spite - he knew because he had lived it, and the contrast between it was stark to say the least. Stede would burn his books into ash if Ed asked him to, he was sure; he'd follow the man to the end of the earth happily, hand-in-hand.

Something had broken down in him, a dam leaking drop by drop until the cracks spread through the barrier. He felt Ed's hand hot on his neck and fisting his shirt, knowing the man would hear how fast his heart was beating in his chest, egging him on.

Finally, perhaps mercifully, Stede broke back, eyes watery and blown almost dark as Ed's. "It's the strangest thing. I feel like if I were to stop touching you, I'd die." he asked, perplexed at the depth of it. "I can't seem to let you go; the more I kiss you, the more I... want."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-16 07:54 am UTC (link)

Ed's hand moved slightly as Stede sat back, sliding up so he could run his thumb across his cheekbone, resting gently at the corner of his eye. His own just as wide and dark and shining in the sliver of light that remained from the fire, casting them in only the faintest gold.

"You won't die." it might feel like you did though He reached up, pushing a curl away from Stede's forehead, gaze fixated on him to take in every part, every wrinkle and curve and shape of his face, to commit every bit to memory. "But you don't have to let go. Can take all you want."

And fuck if that didn't scare him. He knew it was true, he knew he would let Stede have every part of him if he wanted it and that was terrifying. To be that vulnerable again. To give him that much power despite what had already happened once. But he knew, somewhere deep in his chest, that this was different. It felt different. And though some part of him knew it was incredibly selfish, he found himself hoping that, at least in this place, the chances of something better for Stede showing up were lower. He could keep him.

"Should...get some sleep though," he whispered eventually, reluctantly. He didn't want to. But he also didn't want Stede to be caught up in some rush and do or say something he'd want to take back later. Because Ed didn't think his heard could take that. "I won't go anywhere."

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stedebonnett
2022-04-16 08:13 am UTC (link)

While he was still reluctant to remove his person from Ed's, even Stede had to concede that he was exhausted by the day. It had gotten dark, the fire nearly dying out from the time it had taken to read the book and certain events thereafter. Ed told him he wouldn't die, but it still felt wrong to be extricating himself from the position they were in. Stede was happy to go slow, to not scare himself into cowardice at the very least. This was a whole new side of him, a part of him that had never been tapped into before and it was so tentative and tenuous.

Stede nodded in understanding, removing his hands from the backs of Ed's thighs, letting the man slide back down. It already left a void, like part of him was outside his body, cut out and gone. His head was swimming in desire, love, need, want, pain.

"Sleep, yes... yes," he forced his heart to calm. "It must be late, it's been a very long day."

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-16 08:28 am UTC (link)

Ed didn't move right away, he took an extra moment to draw his hand down along Stede's jaw, to caress across his back and side on his way. And by the time he's back where they started, laying out with Stede kneeling near his feet, bare toes brushing against his leg because he can't bear to be fully away from him, he's already somehow too cold and desperate for that touch again. He's a man starved for it, so unused to touch being something gentle and loving and not just a source of pain or violence.

He reached a hand out, offering to help Stede into the space next to him, ready to lay not just next to him this time, but with him.

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stedebonnett
2022-04-16 08:38 am UTC (link)

Stede simply watched, bereft of touch as Ed slid back onto the ground, laid out before him. Only now, it was different. He looked upon the man with different eyes than he had an hour ago, not knowing what he had wanted. It seemed that neither of them could be totally apart from the other, Stede running his hand over Ed's foot and ankle for comfort, because he simply could.

He told himself to stay calm, that this was only Edward, his Edward now, and that the man wouldn't push him away, ridicule or mock him for seeking his embrace.

Stede took the proffered hand, curling his fingers around it as he laid downin the space for him, sighing in contentment as they were back side-by-side. It took a moment for him to settle, reaching up and once again tucking Ed's long hair behind his ear.

"Goodnight..." he muttered, leaning and pressing a soft kiss to the underside of Ed's jaw.

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saltpepperbeard
2022-04-16 08:48 am UTC (link)

Ed hesitated for a moment as Stede lay next to him. He knew what he wanted but wasn't sure if it would be too much. Too smothering. But then Stede was tucking his hair back behind his ear and his lips were at his jaw and he didn't hesitate anymore. He'd gotten his taste and as long as he was allowed he wouldn't be willing to go without anymore.

He gently tucked himself under Stede's arm and up against his side, head resting on his chest with a contented sigh. He could hear Stede's heartbeat under his ear and oh if that wasn't a comfort, even as fast as it was going at the moment. Because Ed knew his would match.

"G'night Stede."

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stedebonnett
2022-04-16 09:18 am UTC (link)

Stede sighed happily as Ed curled up around him, Stede's own arm looping around Ed's back to anchor them together. It had been so long that he had been touch-starved, scared to let anyone this close to him. Everything had happened so quickly like his life was one misadventure after another, but this felt slow; it felt deliberate and careful, but natural. They fit.

His fingers idly rubbed little circles on Ed's back, as if they had done this every night for twenty years. Stede let his eyes close on the last dance of flame light across Ed's beautiful face, content that he could do this for an eternity.

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