Tweak

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Tweak says, "Ladybird"

Commander Elyssa Shepard (commander_shep) wrote in spinningcompass,
@ 2018-08-06 01:04:00

Entry tags:

!closed, fitzwilliam darcy, shepard

Who: Shepard and Mr. Darcy
Where: The Normandy
What: A chat
When: After the kiss
Rating: Medium for possible language
Open: No
Status: On going

Shepard didn't normally go all out in her dress blues she prefered the comfort but this was a serious matter, and the only person in the bunch being an adult about it was Mr. Darcy. But due to recent events, and the level of disrespect she'd seen from her nephew, it was much more needed than she had anticipated. So she waited on the bridge of her ship. The Normandy seemed much more at home docked at the station than it had on the island. Repaired and tip top from her rough landing, she was almost as good as new.

As soon as JARVIS had informed her of Mr. Darcy's eminent arrival she topped her head with the formal cap, and stood as straight and as still as a soldier should. She was going to take this as serious as it needed to be.

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commander_shep
2018-08-08 10:19 am UTC (link)

"I'd be surprised if there weren't a snowy white horse in here somewhere. If it were my dream, all the men folk would be in different uniforms." Because boy did she have a thing for men in uniform. She gazed off in to space for just a second, imagining it. Before a grin broke her imagining. "Sorry, you were in a uniform too."

She was glad that someone hadn't picked up making rules for everyone to follow. Just one simple one, don't do bad things. Shepard raised her glass for a swift swallow. "You've never been to an opera? Aren't the lead Sopranos called Divas?"

Her features clouded over just a little. "Yes, Bobby. He's a little shit, if you'll pardon my language. If he's going to disrespect me, he sure isn't going to get the respect of rank with me." With another incoherent mutter about the boy in question knowing better she downed the rest of her Whiskey, before refilling it a little more than two fingers this time.

Shepard nodded in response to his acknowledgement of the danger. "Yes, but he has enough free will with this ship's computers that he's able to make his own mind up who to follow. It's kind of taboo to even have an AI. But Jarvis has proven himself loyal."

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-08 10:47 am UTC (link)

"The horse was white..." he started to explain about Annie, and then realised that was not what she was talking about. He quirked an eyebrow at her; she was a little forward, he could see where her daughter got her shocking impertinence from. That was a strange thought. "Hmm. This is where you tell me it was a postman's uniform, no?" he joked a little. He supposed he was wearing something of a uniform, though. His clothes certainly signified him as different around here, anyway.

Darcy frowned at her comments about the opera. He had been to the opera, but he had not heard such a term used before. And even if he had, it didn't help the confusion. "You don't want to come across like... an opera singer?" he corrected himself. That sounded even more ridiculous.

At her reaction to her nephew, he was more than a little surprised - and he was sure it showed in his expression. He had either definitely missed something, or the whole situation was a lot worse than he had been led to believe. He watched her silently for a moment, unsure if it was something he should poke at or not. If she wanted him to know the details, surely she would have come out and said it - but similarly, if she hadn't wanted him to know, why would she have brought it up so passionately in the first place? "I'm... not sure that I know to what exactly you are referring," he said, quite cautiously. He was certain that he didn't want to provoke her further by rambling on about the wrong subject.

"He's programmed, but he has free will? A machine - with free will?" he questioned, just trying to get that clear enough in his head. "He is moral? This is... I don't know, it's rather perplexing."

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commander_shep
2018-08-09 07:22 am UTC (link)

Oh that was classic. She hadn't expected there to be a real white horse. She had known there was a hose though. "I actually don't know what a postman's uniform would look like, I've never seen one. It was a little like this one, but red." She drew her hand down to herself, pointing out 'this one'.

Sadly she didn't think Jarvis would be able to help her out with the diva. "Well, no. The lead sopranos I've seen act like they're better than everybody else. Very snobby, and entitled. Because the shows can't really go on without them, so they like to bend the person paying them over a barrel if they don't meet their demands."

Shepard sat back a little. Contemplating her refilled glass. "He wrote to tell me that Ashley was going to spend the night, and I text him to get more information. And in his attempt to sooth my worries, he was a big horses ass. And I didn't appreciate it." It was about time for the conversation to reach some form of seriousness.

"Well, kind of. He has logic with his free will. A program's logic, but it's still there." She was surprised how well he was getting it.

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-09 07:42 am UTC (link)

The whole chat about her imagination was making him a little uncomfortable. He’d covered it well enough with the slight humour, but he was really quite keen to get off of that particular topic and on to the actual point of his visit. He gave her a sort of smile, nodded, and decided to finish off his drink rather than go any further down the road of anyones fantasies.

“Ah. Okay,” he nodded at her explanation about divas. “In that case, I fully understand. I have met more than a few, and quite likely come across the same way at times myself,” he admitted. Snobby and entitled, he was sure they were words he’d heard about himself more than once.

Having told him about Bobby, Darcy felt his heart sink, and he was sure his face was doing that miserable little pout it did when he didn’t much like what he was hearing. “I see. I am sorry for that,” he said softly, with no hint of sarcasm or falseness. “It should never have happened. I know that you must have been terribly worried, and you had no idea who I was either. I should have insisted more fervently that she return home. I would have, only I was quite delirious, I’m certain I was talking about ice skating at one point,” he admitted, giving her a sort of a smile. “The next day, I expressed a wish to apologise for it, and so you received my letter. Anything that went on in the meantime... I did not know, but I am sorry for the part I played.” Perhaps to a modern ear it sounded a little over the top, but for Darcy he sincerely meant everything he said. In fact, his words couldn’t come close to expressing how sorry he truly was for the whole thing.

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commander_shep
2018-08-09 08:21 am UTC (link)

She bit her lower lip to keep from torturing him farther. As he downed his drink she had decided she'd give him a little relief. "All jokes Mr. Darcy. The only man I picture in a uniform is my husband. And sometimes he indulges me and my odd perversions." But not lately. That was neither here nor there, nor Darcy's problem.

Shepard nodded. "It's unintentional, and really all I want is respect. The respect that my war wounds should have bought for me." The fact that she'd died once, and, if she were to return home, very likely did again.

She set her glass down and started to wave off his apology but thought better of it. She sat straighter in her chair. "I don't mind that she stayed. But I wish she would have told me herself. I don't like that he felt the need to be a go between with me and her, when I don't doubt she had at least one mode of communication that she could have used. But you don't have to apologize for my nephew's misgivings. It's not like you told him to send the note and be a little shit. I don't hold that against you. But I will ask that he's not used as a go between any more. I don't like there being a middle man. It's one more person than there needs to be."

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-09 08:38 am UTC (link)

At the mention of her husband, Darcy had to bite his tongue. He really had wondered where her father was, and why the man of the house was so silent on the matter of his daughters entanglement with a man. But perhaps... almost certainly... it was a sore point, and not one he felt the need to draw any more attention to. Instead, he just gave her a little nod, letting her know he was not truly offended.

“I quite understand, Commander,” he assured her. He had a respect for the military, even if he had never felt so inclined himself. He could respect a man - or woman - who did. With an exception or two who had lost his good opinion forever.

“Well, I am more than happy to communicate directly now that my health allows. I would encourage you to have the same conversation with your daughter, although I am sure that is already your intention,” he nodded.

“I am from an era where writing indirectly through various people is quite the norm, for a... rather complicated system of who you are and are not allowed to directly contact. I am told, by your nephew, that such convoluted means of communication are no longer necessary. Is that correct?” he asked, and then thought to clarify. “You have no objection to my sending letters directly to your daughter? They contain nothing untoward, but they are not going through a guardian at the moment,” he explained. If she had an issue with her nephews manner of communication it seemed worth checking.

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commander_shep
2018-08-09 09:49 am UTC (link)

"Please, call me Shepard. I'm not your Commander, and while I appreciate it, my intentions of being intimidating have been laid to rest." She hadn't doubted that he would be a stand up guy, but it was good to see it in person.

"Oh I intend on it, she should already know better, but I'm going to cement that with her. I just want some things resolved first, here, so she doesn't get the wrong impression." That and she had been mad, being a redhead was sometimes a curse. But she hadn't wanted that temper to come out at her daughter.

Shepard nodded, "I know, but you didn't have what we have today. But I can understand those methods and how they came to be. But I don't have any objections to you directly contacting Ashley at all. The only thing I do object to is a speedy proposal. You two should really get to know each other. Because I'm afraid that she's so infatuated with you that she's twisting herself to be someone she's not. I don't know for sure because I haven't seen the two of you together." She sighed and took a sip of her whiskey before, she continued on. She lifted the crystal decanter and tilted it toward him in case he needed more. "You need more than a few weeks to get used to this place."

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-09 10:13 am UTC (link)

"Very well. I can't promise that I will not forget that, sometimes," he told her. Using titles and ranks was very much a habit, but Shepard he could deal with, even if a surname alone would usually be reserved for addressing a man. Things had changed, he knew that much. And it was interesting that the intimidation was intentional - he had wondered if he was just much more of a nervous wreck than usual. It was reassuring, in a way, to note that he had read the room correctly on that front.

"Yes, I understand," he nodded. Whatever she would say to Miss Sully was between her and her daughter, although he did wonder what the wrong impression would have been.

He listened carefully as Shepard laid out her terms, calm and cool at first, but there was a clear flash of shock across his expression when she warned him against a proposal. That was entirely opposite to what he had expected to be hearing - if anything, he expected a parent to be twisting his arm and practically pointing the cannons at him until he spat it out and made things right. This? He couldn't understand at all.

"I'm sorry, to a speedy proposal?" he asked for clarity, although everything she said afterwards followed the same vein. He buttoned his lip again and refrained from interjecting further until she was quite finished. He paused, thinking it over, turning this new information around in his mind. She couldn't possibly comprehend how surprising her every word was to him.

"...I should not want her to... twist herself into anything at all," he said softly, after a little contemplation. "I cannot tell you if she has," he said honestly. He refrained from speaking further, from expressing that perhaps if a chaperone would stay in the room, or if couples had continued a more public courting that it appeared they did nowadays, then it would be easily told if she was acting differently. Everything was backwards.

He shook his head lightly to refuse more whiskey.

"Well. If that is your wish," he conceded after another moment's thought, but there was a sinking feeling in his stomach. He had gone a little too far already to delay on a proposal without it looking very badly on them. "I- I am- worried, perhaps she might - already be expecting one," he said, picking his words quite carefully. "I would not want her to feel used and then rejected."

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commander_shep
2018-08-10 04:03 am UTC (link)

"It's a little bit to get used to, women typically use their first names, but before JR it had been close to twenty years since anyone had used it, he's the only exception. This coming October, it will be twenty years. For me anyway. I've known quite a few ranks since then but one thing stayed the same. Shepard." She looked down into her glass, and holding it tipped so that the amber liquid stretched to the rim. She gave a little humorless one note bark of laughter. "I still take a second to realize it's me that JR is talking to, when he uses my first name." That was enough of that, she lifted the tumbler and took a healthy bit in her mouth.

Shepard leaned her elbows onto the table top. After all was said and done. But, what he said had her mind reeling. What did he mean. There were a million and one reasons why Ashley might be expecting a proposal so soon. And she stopped herself before blurting something out. Really it was far to early to know whether she was pregnant or not anyway. Her eyes narrowed at him for a moment and she swished back the remaining bit of whiskey. Better to get her head on before throwing accusations. That could mean anything.

"What exactly do you mean? Why would she be expecting one already?" She set her now empty glass down on the table top. Reaching for the decanter again, she decided against more and pushed it away. It wasn't as if it were making her feel anything, her fingertips didn't even feel fuzzy. There was simply the warm path the drink had made.

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-10 06:35 am UTC (link)

“No, I would not call a woman by her first name easily, either. No more than I would have anyone freely use my own. It is typically reserved for close family, spouses - my sister is the only one now who would use it, and even at that she does not do so in public,” he explained. “If Shepard is what makes you comfortable, then that is agreeable to me,” he explained.

Of course she was going to ask for more clarification, and it was not an easy conversation to have with anyone’s parents. He got the impression this was going to be more difficult than with most, though. It was as though she was determined not to have her daughter married. It was confusing to him.

“I have not been as reserved as I usually would,” he started to explain. With the stress of the new situation, keeping a check on ones emotions was even more difficult than usual. “I have been perfectly clear regarding my affections for her, and I have made very little effort to downplay it.” His heart was racing. He was going to have to say more besides. “I know that the letters are apparently acceptable now, but there have been... other things besides.” He was dancing around the issue, and he knew he needed to spit it out, get it over with.

“With full intention of making it right once I had spoken with yourself or your husband... I did kiss her. Yesterday.”

He felt as though his heart was going to burst its way out of his chest with anxiety.

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commander_shep
2018-08-10 08:20 am UTC (link)

She smiled a little. Pleased that they met an agreement. And things wouldn't be so formal between them. She already felt at ease.

Or as at ease as someone that was waiting for the other shoe to drop could be. Her hands closed into fists. She wasn't ready to resort to blows, the short length of her fingernails did cut into her palms. Shepard wasn't sure what she would do. What could she do? It wasn't as if he'd forced himself. He would have heard that first.

When he was finally out with it her. Shoulders sagged, her hands opened and she began to rub where her fingernails had dug into her skin. Shaking her head with a soft chuckle. "Lord. Darcy. I don't know what I had expected but it wasn't a baring of your soul to my daughter, nor was it a kiss." Shepard knew her heart had been knocking in her ribs. She shook her head lightly as she chuckled lightly that weight lifted.

"If you want to share how you feel with her, or hell, the feelings are strong enough to share them with the whole station, I encourage it. I know that's not really your thing, but I think it's better for you both to know each other's feelings about one another before wedding bells start chiming. You need to know each other too, and yourself when your with her." She sat back in her chair again. "And kiss her to your heart's content, if you feel moved to. Hold hands. If you two do anything more intense than that, don't tell me, go protected. I'm old but I'm not old enough to be a grandmother."

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-10 08:35 am UTC (link)

When Shepard seemed to relax rather than grow more tense, Darcy rather did the opposite. His brow furrowed in confusion, and while she chuckled he looked rather pale and unimpressed. She had expected worse than that? She had expected that he would do more than kiss her? He wondered what sort of a man she had thought him to be - and how she could be taking her daughter's love life so lightly.

She explained things more clearly, laid her terms and conditions out so to speak, and while Darcy found that his heart wasn't going fit to burst anymore, he still didn't feel good. To continue to express his feelings was one thing... to continue to kiss her without an intention of marriage was a little much... but the last part? He was sure he looked like she had just leaned across the table and slapped.

"What is this, are you testing me?" he asked suddenly, not appreciating the joke if it was one. "No. You asked me to be frank and open with you, and I cannot agree to this," he told her, feeling himself almost trembling with stress and anxiety over it all. "I told you I do not make promises that I cannot keep. I understand that it is... your wish, or request, or... but what you are telling me to do is in complete contradiction to my own principles, my own moral behavior. I will not."

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commander_shep
2018-08-10 09:22 am UTC (link)

"No, I'm not testing you. You both are consenting adults. What you do behind closed doors is your business. As long as it doesn't involve trodding on my daughters heart. The last guy that did that, from what I understand, is now a Monk. Possibly a eunuch." There was no sign of joking in her tone. She hoped she would have. Perhaps she was an overprotective mother. "All I'm asking is give it time. Get to know her, let her get to know you, the you outside the pages that she's read. There's no cause to rush. Because as noble as I know you are, I know that if either of you were miserable you would stick with the marriage. And my daughter deserves more than a marriage of convenience." Shepard paused a moment. "And so do you."

She leaned back in her chair again. "I know the whiles of modern women Mr. Darcy. I don't doubt your resolve to wait until marriage. But, if my daughter is anything like me, she knows what she wants, and if she's got a kiss out of you already..." She trailed off. She wasn't trying to insult him. Just point out reality. "But I have asked her to go easy on you. Because another thing you need time to do, is get used to this place. And learn the social cues if you want. Also... Miss Elizabeth Bennett... You need time to deal with that as well."

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-10 12:09 pm UTC (link)

Mr Darcy’s shock and indignation was rising with every word she said, and he wasn’t even making an attempt at keeping the disgusted scowl from his face by now. Perhaps she did think she was being a loving mother, but that was far from Darcy’s interpretation of what he was hearing. To suggest that he ought to string her along in a similar fashion without making a commitment was appalling to him.

“Firstly, I don’t see how what you’re suggesting would not count as trodding on her heart. Secondly, I am very glad that Miss Sully already found the courage to explain to me the situation with that man. I would think that she would appreciate the privilege of telling me such sensitive information herself, in her own time, in her own way. Not to have it given out of context by a third party.” He knew that he was practically spitting his words out, but that voice that had been telling him to keep a lid on it for Ashley’s sake was being overruled by pride, and the feeling that he had just been insulted in every way imaginable.

He knew that there was some sense in her explanation about marriage, but it didn’t fit well with his own world views. It was like trying to force a jigsaw piece from a completely different puzzle into place.

And then he was prepared to be absolutely gobsmacked. He would have found what she was saying utterly shocking and reprehensible no matter who she was, but to talk about her own daughter as if she were a common slut, dangling herself in front of men to seduce them...

“I consented to a kiss with every intention of a proposal. Yes, I should have exercised a little more self-control, but it doesn’t follow that I am willing to live a life in a such a morally bankrupt manner as you seem to be suggesting. Why you would want that shame for your own daughter, I have absolutely no idea. You baffle me.” His scowl was fixed in place. He was all but done with this ridiculous conversation.

She’d told her to go easy on him. Because maybe if she hadn’t, then the girl would already be in his lap. She clearly had a very low opinion of her daughter’s virtue.

She mentioned Miss Bennet, and that was it. He was done, and the insult of it was written all over him, and he pushed his chair back, pacing about a little as he delivered the rest of his rebuke.

“If you don’t think your daughter could know me from the pages of that book, why do you think that you can? I will not talk to you about Elizabeth Bennet. In fact, I don’t believe I have anything more to contribute to this conversation. I will take what you have said into consideration, but I will make no promises to you. As you have said, your daughter is a consenting adult, capable of knowing perfectly well what she wants. She might surprise you,” he told her. “Now, please let me off your ship. I will not stay here to be insulted like this.”

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commander_shep
2018-08-11 07:01 am UTC (link)

During his tirade he might have missed the very dangerous look that crossed her features, but he wouldn't miss how she slowly stood up, and how she slammed her closed fist against the table when he was through. "If you're quite done, with your indignation, have a seat. Because I'm not done. And no that's not a suggestion." So much for not turning on the intimidation factor, as her voice went from quiet anger, to a booming command that suggested it wasn't wise to ignore.

Shepard didn't wait until he was seated, she walked a few paces to the "head" of the table. "We'll address your first to points first. Suggesting you get to know her before prancing down the aisle would hardly break her heart, letting her get to know you first might prevent it later on down the line. If you're suggesting that you don't want to get to know someone that you intend on marrying then you better damn well move on to someone else, because I don't handle my daughters' heartbreaks well. Because my daughter deserves someone that's going to make her happy, someone that's willing to give every inch of himself to her." She stopped at the head of that table and turned to face him, holding her hand up to let him know that she wasn't finished. "As for the second point you made, who do you think told her to tell you about what happened? I wasn't using it for shock value, and nether was she. She was being honest with you because that's what you do with people you care for."

She took a military rest stance, her arms behind her back one hand clasping the other wrist in a white knuckled grip that he couldn't see. All to keep from leaping across the table. The farther she was the healthier he stayed. "I'll go with the point of Elizabeth Bennet next, because you aren't going to like what I have to say about your 'morally bankrupt'." She spoke through clenched teeth relaying just how angry the accusation made her. "My daughter deserves the very best of you Mr. Darcy, not an inch less. If what she says is true you just professed your love to Elizabeth Bennett, and proposed just over two weeks ago. Only to be brutally turned down. I'm not your damn therapist, I'm not saying tell me all about it. In fact I'd rather you didn't. But you have got to face that whether you want to or not. Because as I said. Ashley deserves your very best, and silently pining for someone else while you lay your lips on my daughter is not your very best."

She turned away, no doubt exposing the white knuckled state. "As far as the rest goes, I wasn't suggesting you not propose to my daughter. By all means if you find that after getting to know her that you are indeed head over heals in love with her, that you would throw yourself in front of a speeding carriage for her, then get on bended knee with my blessing. But you even think about considering what she did and what she might think 'morally bankrupt' then I'll meet you at dawn. And either you best pray you're a better shot than me, or that I'm feeling charitable. Because there's something that happened between when your from and now, and it's something you need to wrap your head around fast, women had a sexual revolution. We are free to be proud of our bodies, and do with them what we want, and don't have to be ashamed of it. You're no pristine flower, so you have no place in demanding it from anyone."

Shepard turned to face him with death in her stare. "Now, it would be wise to chose your words very carefully in regards to me, for the next little bit. You're free to go, you were never locked in, only visitors were locked out."

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mrdarcy_
2018-08-11 07:22 am UTC (link)

At Shepard's fist-slam, Darcy did flinch in surprise. He was not used to being commanded to do anything at all, but her voice was so full of authority that he did move toward the chair again, but he remained standing, holding onto the back of it mostly to support himself as she had her word.

Of course, he should have known that a woman like this was used to having the last word of authority on absolutely anything, so why would her daughter's relationships should be any different? At a few points, he went to interject, getting so far as a vowel sound even, but quickly closing his mouth again when catching the look on her face or the movement of her hand.

It was a lot. Darcy was very well practised in not letting any real emotion show on his expression, as he had been taught from childhood, but his expression became fixed into a determined, stubborn scowl. He would not rise to this. He would not.

Once she was done, he wasn't sure if he was furious, insulted, scared, or about to burst into tears. So, he paused, took a couple of deep breaths as he considered his next move. He examined her face, seeing that dark, dark look in her eyes, and he straightened up again, letting go of the chair at last. He did not trust that his words would be careful at all, and the last thing he wanted to do was any further damage to Ashley's relationship with her mother.

So, he gave her a respectfully low bow of acknowledgment, as if to say he was taking it on board, and he turned to walk back out of the door again on shaking legs, feeling his chest and throat constricted with anger mixed up with sadness and anxiety. He did not understand this world. At all.

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