InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Koi koi!"

snarrymod (snarrymod) wrote in snarry_games,
@ 2008-05-20 19:12:00

Entry tags:

entry, perverse_idyll, team phoenix

TEAM PHOENIX ENTRY: Perverse Idyll "When the Rose and the Fire Are One"
Title: When the Rose and the Fire Are One
Author: perverse_idyll
Team: Phoenix!
Genre(s): Alternate Universe *Hover/Click for Games Definition of Alternate Universe*
Prompt(s): Flesh Memory, Spilling Fire
Rating/Warnings/Kinks: *(HBP but not DH-compliant) Violence, rough sex, character death (not Snape or Harry)*
Word Count: 81,000+
Summary: Harry's haunted by guilt. Snape's warded by roses. Each must free the other in order to free himself.
A/N: First, thank you to the mods for creating the Games in the first place and for having the patience of saints. leela_cat did a phenomenal job with this in a ridiculously short time. Whatever coherence the fic has is due to her heroic efforts and hand-holding. Also thanks to Team Phoenix for putting up with my fumbling captaincy and for helping to make this an enjoyable ride. Lastly, many thanks to my beloved rinsbane for talking me through to the images I needed. I wish this were a better first offering, my dear.

*With gratitude to leela_cat and apologies to T. S. Eliot.

"When the Rose and the Fire Are One by Perverse Idyll"

Don't forget to review!

Mod note: POLLS ARE NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE SNARRY GAMES.

Mod note: If you rec this story, please link to this POST, not the story itself, or the author/team will not get their proper vote tally or feedback. Thank you.

Mod note: Due to the length of this story, we will not be posting another until tomorrow evening. Thank you!

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

perverse_idyll
2008-05-24 05:22 am UTC (link)

I'm so touched that you read this all the way through, because I can't help but think it isn't at all the sort of fic you'd normally choose. It's melodramatic and rather disjointed - the word that persists in my mind when I think of it is ungainly. Emotionally intense but not artistically . . adept? Um. The right word will come to me eventually. It's not elegant. It's like something that's been turned inside-out, so that all the flaws and organs are on display. (This isn't me fishing for reassurance, btw; this is me thinking aloud about what's missing from this fic. About that most elusive of qualities, whatever it is that separates raw storytelling from art.) I'm compulsively metaphorical, so, yes, the fic was bound to be crammed to the gills with imagery. But the seams show wherever the thematic layers are pressed together. Also, I have to learn how to start at a lower pitch so I have more room to build and ebb and crest. Otherwise I'll always be in the position of turning the flame higher and higher (yup, still stuck in the fic's imagery) just to keep the tension from peaking prematurely. Either that, or my fics will always be exhausting to read because they'll always be hammering away at the highest notes.

Anyway! (Sorry, I can't help rambling to another writer about writing. This fic didn't have that luxury, alas. Too seat-of-the-pants.) It's interesting to see where readers fall on the question of Harry and Snape. So far the sympathy's divided. I've been on a collision course with writing angry!Harry since HBP. DH papered over the sense of vengeance with which Book 6 ended. Or rather, dumped it and headed off in ten other directions. I always figured that if Harry and Snape ever fought it out, Harry would Cruciate Snape without a second thought. He's much angrier toward Snape than he is toward Voldemort, for instance. It's personal.

The flaw in my plan was that I didn't have time to tease out the meaning of Snape's sacrifice at the end. Not only for the added pity and horror, but because the original idea about the transfer of sins and the extremity of Harry's anger was meant to provide a parallel to Snape. Harry suffers the presence of his ghosts for a year, and during that time he commits acts of terrible cruelty. Snape's been living with this inherited guilt for half his life. No wonder he's surly and has a permanent Get the Fuck Away From Me sign nailed to his psyche. But gah, I fumbled it. Deadline panic.

I'm deeply pleased that you enjoyed my version of Snape. It maddened me occasionally, because I had to show him as Harry saw him at any given moment (which included romanticizing him as the villain, the tempter, etc.) while still trying to get across what Snape thought of the proceedings. To hint at his motives and contradictory emotions. He's not exactly forthcoming by nature, and Harry is, well, let's just say the most unreflective character I've ever tried to write. So it's not as though I could use him to speculate about Snape's mental contortions.

I'm amused that you saw Alan Rickman so clearly. His voice is indelibly imprinted in my mind as the inevitable voice of the character, but my Snape looks nothing like AR. Mine's younger, bonier, uglier, his hair is longer and his nose bigger, he's knife-sharp with intelligence, and he hoards a sense of grievance and repression. Alan is utterly lovely and physically wrong for the part. Well, the part in my fic. I'm perfectly happy to have him continue as Snape onscreen.

So the change in Harry's feelings was believable? Oh, good! I had the devil of a time getting him from blind hatred to some confused mixture of love/hate to finally, in whatever twisted way, admitting he loved Snape by the end. Because Harry's just about the last person on earth to understand himself emotionally or to question why he's doing something. And Snape, of course, is no help.

Thank you so much, my dearest dear, for reading this fic and finding so much to like about it. I suspect that, because of its genesis, it'll never sit entirely right with me - it's the old problem of the story in my head vs. what ended up on the page. But at least now I can lay to rest my sneaking suspicion that it was a total disaster. *hugs tightly*

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dracofiend
2008-05-27 02:30 pm UTC (link)

Hi! :D I can't help but think you must've written a novel in responding to comments alone, because you are just so thoughtful and deliberate that way! :D It makes reading your story extra-rewarding, and one thing I really like about the sheer length of this fic is that it grows the characters to you more than a short fic can, simply because the reader spends more time reading and thinking about them. It's sort of a total immersion approach.

You're right in thinking that this isn't the type of fic I'm typically inclined to read, because of its plottiness--but of course, that's just a general personal preference! As for your comments re ungainliness--I think that's actually quite fitting, and in a really good way. I agree with you on the disjointedness in general, but I see it as adding an impressionistic realism to everything--it lends a sense of exhaustion and excruciation (is that even a word?) that brings out (at least in me) a kind of empathy for the characters that maybe wouldn't stick as hard if the story came across as neat and tidy and polished to a high glossy shine. Oh, I hope this isn't coming across the wrong way! :D I just mean that it seemed to be a choice (and a good one!) on your part to make things a uneven and startling--to keep the reader guessing, off-balance, as a means of putting the reader in finer tune with Harry's and Snape's instabilities and discomforts. It's not calculated, you know? It's abrupt and spontaneous (although I know you probably raked over every detail!) and it feels genuine that way. You say it might never fully sit right with you because what's in your head doesn't seem to be what's the on the page--I can't help but think that's the feeling Harry and Snape both embody, in the way you characterized them.

One other thing I wanted to mention is that the ending, I thought, was really clever. I was too startled and pleased by it to say much in my prior comment, but it feels so perfect to me because Snape seems to have diffused a lot of the difficulty/temptation for Harry to...do something rash, you know? The way I see it, Snape has given Harry something to anticipate--a challenge that Harry wants but doesn't have to do right away, which will undercut his urge to simply will Snape back to him. I know Snape doesn't promise anything, but I feel that he'll wait for Harry to come--and also that he knows he won't have to wait a terribly long time, either.

But I bet you have other thoughts on the matter! :D I'm curious about them...if you've already posted about it in a different comment, maybe you could link me when you get a chance?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -