I'm so touched that you read this all the way through, because I can't help but think it isn't at all the sort of fic you'd normally choose. It's melodramatic and rather disjointed - the word that persists in my mind when I think of it is ungainly. Emotionally intense but not artistically . . adept? Um. The right word will come to me eventually. It's not elegant. It's like something that's been turned inside-out, so that all the flaws and organs are on display. (This isn't me fishing for reassurance, btw; this is me thinking aloud about what's missing from this fic. About that most elusive of qualities, whatever it is that separates raw storytelling from art.) I'm compulsively metaphorical, so, yes, the fic was bound to be crammed to the gills with imagery. But the seams show wherever the thematic layers are pressed together. Also, I have to learn how to start at a lower pitch so I have more room to build and ebb and crest. Otherwise I'll always be in the position of turning the flame higher and higher (yup, still stuck in the fic's imagery) just to keep the tension from peaking prematurely. Either that, or my fics will always be exhausting to read because they'll always be hammering away at the highest notes.
Anyway! (Sorry, I can't help rambling to another writer about writing. This fic didn't have that luxury, alas. Too seat-of-the-pants.) It's interesting to see where readers fall on the question of Harry and Snape. So far the sympathy's divided. I've been on a collision course with writing angry!Harry since HBP. DH papered over the sense of vengeance with which Book 6 ended. Or rather, dumped it and headed off in ten other directions. I always figured that if Harry and Snape ever fought it out, Harry would Cruciate Snape without a second thought. He's much angrier toward Snape than he is toward Voldemort, for instance. It's personal.
The flaw in my plan was that I didn't have time to tease out the meaning of Snape's sacrifice at the end. Not only for the added pity and horror, but because the original idea about the transfer of sins and the extremity of Harry's anger was meant to provide a parallel to Snape. Harry suffers the presence of his ghosts for a year, and during that time he commits acts of terrible cruelty. Snape's been living with this inherited guilt for half his life. No wonder he's surly and has a permanent Get the Fuck Away From Me sign nailed to his psyche. But gah, I fumbled it. Deadline panic.
I'm deeply pleased that you enjoyed my version of Snape. It maddened me occasionally, because I had to show him as Harry saw him at any given moment (which included romanticizing him as the villain, the tempter, etc.) while still trying to get across what Snape thought of the proceedings. To hint at his motives and contradictory emotions. He's not exactly forthcoming by nature, and Harry is, well, let's just say the most unreflective character I've ever tried to write. So it's not as though I could use him to speculate about Snape's mental contortions.
I'm amused that you saw Alan Rickman so clearly. His voice is indelibly imprinted in my mind as the inevitable voice of the character, but my Snape looks nothing like AR. Mine's younger, bonier, uglier, his hair is longer and his nose bigger, he's knife-sharp with intelligence, and he hoards a sense of grievance and repression. Alan is utterly lovely and physically wrong for the part. Well, the part in my fic. I'm perfectly happy to have him continue as Snape onscreen.
So the change in Harry's feelings was believable? Oh, good! I had the devil of a time getting him from blind hatred to some confused mixture of love/hate to finally, in whatever twisted way, admitting he loved Snape by the end. Because Harry's just about the last person on earth to understand himself emotionally or to question why he's doing something. And Snape, of course, is no help.
Thank you so much, my dearest dear, for reading this fic and finding so much to like about it. I suspect that, because of its genesis, it'll never sit entirely right with me - it's the old problem of the story in my head vs. what ended up on the page. But at least now I can lay to rest my sneaking suspicion that it was a total disaster. *hugs tightly*