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Tweak says, "Can you fix my H-E-A-R-T?"

Siri Tachi (knight_siri) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-09-12 17:25:00

Entry tags:

leia organa, siri tachi (sw)

WHO: Siri Tachi and Leia Organa
WHAT: Discussing what ties them together, namely Obi-Wan's disappearance
WHERE: The edge of the woods
WHEN: Early morning
RATING: Probably fine

The sound of the lightsaber blade cut the stillness of the early morning. Siri didn't swing the hilt to loosen the muscles of her wrist, didn't turn it experimentally to gauge the feel. Already part of her, it moved where she bid it. And she didn't need warming up, not by the time she'd reached for the saber. She'd tried meditation. Then form exercises. Then running through the forest, aligning her senses with the Force there (as much as she could without being turned around). Nothing helped dispel the anger, the grief. So now she turned to the violet light of the blade, the purple glow warming up the dew on the grass below her feet.

She'd spoken to no one since Obi-Wan disappeared. His dark-leaning apprentice she was wary of; and Luke, the earnest son of her old friend, he had gone as well. Days later, it was still fresh. She'd stayed with Obi-Wan in his home, and barely slept; every hour was spent learning about the years after she'd died in their time, about the fall of the Order, the Empire, the deaths, the failures. The one bright spot was Luke's reassurance that Anakin had been redeemed in the end, but was that worth all of the lives lost? The harm done to the galaxy for the endless war?

She wouldn't know. Trapped here instead, she chafed at the inactivity, at the lack of something to do to help her friends, her loved ones. Obi-Wan was gone, and to what? Back to exile on a sandy planet, to guard a lone survivor of the havoc Anakin caused. Siri would have given anything to at least exist there with him, to help even in some small way. Used to the span of the galaxy itself, she was dying here in this small town, this unfamiliar world.

The Council would have cautioned against trying to change the future, but Siri would go back and argue that for some, this was their very real past.

Taking a long, deep breath and letting it out through her nose, she started the movements of the third form. Too proud to rush through even when her frustration surfaced, she methodically took each step, and finally this, this grounded her enough to release the anger and uncover the grief below it. Thick, it caused her throat to tighten, but she continued. Her most beloved friend was gone, but their souls still existed. The Force still existed. She'd been at peace with dying before. She knew that in time, she could be at peace with this. She just....missed him terribly.

Slowly, the sensation of another Force user intruded, but rather than the bright, intense aura of Starkiller, she felt a practiced serenity. Interesting. Bringing her form to a stop, Siri opened her eyes and turned, looking for the source.

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knight_siri
2019-10-04 03:43 am UTC (link)

Siri shook her head, slightly. "Not all Masters teach. There is so much to do, every day, everywhere. Or, there was, for me." She half-smiled, ruefully. "But at the same time...yes, we all do, at some point. There are Jedi who spend their whole lives in the Temple, either in the creche or the archives or just in the kitchens. Being a Jedi means to serve." She mused, her eyes traveling over the landscape. "Those of us who fight, who travel from planet to planet to keep peace, we're better known, but for each one of us, there are a dozen more Jedi who toil in quiet to support what we do. They preserve history, raise the younglings..." Siri closed her eyes briefly, thinking about home. She had never missed the Temple, just knowing in the back of her mind it was always there. And now it was not.

She reopened her eyes and looked at Leia. "I always liked Bail. Smart, capable. Kind. Very polite to all Jedi even though I'm sure he also thought at some point that we were fools." Her look was dry. "Being around someone who can feel the Force, it's constantly surprising. If you can't feel it, you forget, moment to moment, day to day. And then you see it again, and it's surprising again and so I don't ever fault anyone who is dismissive or even rejects it, because it's too much to think about."

Her tone was forgiving, understanding, even as it was humored. Siri knew how others could look at Jedi. She knew that she was doing all that she could to help others even when they turned away from her. It didn't mean anything.

Padme was indeed safer ground. "She pointed out many times that she didn't need it," Siri agreed, "and also made us feel sometimes as if we didn't either." That brought another smile. "She would tell us to get our heads out of the clouds. Not me, of course," Siri said, with a knowing nod, "but the others, every time. She took action when it was needed, without hesitation, but if words served better, she'd speak up, say something. Put herself out there. Many say the Jedi are fearless, but trust me....she was more fearless than the lot of us put together." A newly familiar pang. Padme was gone, and Siri hadn't realized how much that would affect her. Why should she be alive and Padme not? It was never something she thought she'd have to face.

Turning more fully to Leia, Siri nodded again. "We all make our own way. I feel like you are a person who will go where you are needed, be who you need to be."

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