InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Clean it again."

Siri Tachi (knight_siri) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-09-12 17:25:00

Entry tags:

leia organa, siri tachi (sw)

WHO: Siri Tachi and Leia Organa
WHAT: Discussing what ties them together, namely Obi-Wan's disappearance
WHERE: The edge of the woods
WHEN: Early morning
RATING: Probably fine

The sound of the lightsaber blade cut the stillness of the early morning. Siri didn't swing the hilt to loosen the muscles of her wrist, didn't turn it experimentally to gauge the feel. Already part of her, it moved where she bid it. And she didn't need warming up, not by the time she'd reached for the saber. She'd tried meditation. Then form exercises. Then running through the forest, aligning her senses with the Force there (as much as she could without being turned around). Nothing helped dispel the anger, the grief. So now she turned to the violet light of the blade, the purple glow warming up the dew on the grass below her feet.

She'd spoken to no one since Obi-Wan disappeared. His dark-leaning apprentice she was wary of; and Luke, the earnest son of her old friend, he had gone as well. Days later, it was still fresh. She'd stayed with Obi-Wan in his home, and barely slept; every hour was spent learning about the years after she'd died in their time, about the fall of the Order, the Empire, the deaths, the failures. The one bright spot was Luke's reassurance that Anakin had been redeemed in the end, but was that worth all of the lives lost? The harm done to the galaxy for the endless war?

She wouldn't know. Trapped here instead, she chafed at the inactivity, at the lack of something to do to help her friends, her loved ones. Obi-Wan was gone, and to what? Back to exile on a sandy planet, to guard a lone survivor of the havoc Anakin caused. Siri would have given anything to at least exist there with him, to help even in some small way. Used to the span of the galaxy itself, she was dying here in this small town, this unfamiliar world.

The Council would have cautioned against trying to change the future, but Siri would go back and argue that for some, this was their very real past.

Taking a long, deep breath and letting it out through her nose, she started the movements of the third form. Too proud to rush through even when her frustration surfaced, she methodically took each step, and finally this, this grounded her enough to release the anger and uncover the grief below it. Thick, it caused her throat to tighten, but she continued. Her most beloved friend was gone, but their souls still existed. The Force still existed. She'd been at peace with dying before. She knew that in time, she could be at peace with this. She just....missed him terribly.

Slowly, the sensation of another Force user intruded, but rather than the bright, intense aura of Starkiller, she felt a practiced serenity. Interesting. Bringing her form to a stop, Siri opened her eyes and turned, looking for the source.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-09-13 02:29 pm UTC (link)

Grief was something Leia felt she’d foolishly opened herself up to again, when more than once she’d told herself not to. It had begun when she lost Kier at sixteen - and she’d said to herself that in a time of war, it didn’t do well to form close relationships with anyone, it’d make her vulnerable to more loss, more unnecessary pain. It didn’t mean she’d ever be devoid of care, or compassion or a will to see the individuals and their worth among the ranks of the Rebellion. She would have allies, and friends - but nothing too much deeper. Loss in war was inevitable, and whilst she was determined not to avoid the front line, deeming her worth no greater than the soldier next to her, she simply didn’t want to suffer heartbreak any greater than she had to.

Even so. Nothing could have prepared her for Alderaan and how much she, and the Galaxy still had to lose. It only cemented her resolve, she’d made the right decision in maintaining her distance and trying not to invest emotionally. And then, she’d met Luke, and Han and the two of them had become all she had - she cared for them both, and had let them in. Only to discover she’d found a piece of her life that she’d always been missing, her twin brother. She and Han had made the impulsive decision to be married.

And then she’d come here; pulled from everything that was her focus and her passion, her purpose, for so many years:

Leia had never gotten to meet Obi-Wan until she’d arrived and though the Jedi had been closer to her biological parents; the reverence and respect Bail had for him, made if feel as though she had a connection to her father through this man - the Jedi Master who had fought in the Clone Wars and who’d featured in so many of her childhood bedtime stories. He’d begun to train her. Then Luke had arrived, she’d been so pleased to see him - without battles, or missions to contend with and keep them on opposite sides of the galaxy, she’d actually had the time to better get to know her brother and living with him, seeing him every day had become almost a way in which to reclaim all the years that between them that had been lost.

Now the both of them had disappeared. A lot of people had disappeared, and many were left in shock, left with heartache, left angry that this place had the ability to disrupt lives in so many ways - as if it knew, when it’s residents had felt secure, had made themselves a semblance of something just in time for it to be torn apart. In this moment, Leia was making some effort to implement what she’d been taught, meditation, to clear her head, perhaps search for a way to accept what had happened sooner, extinguish what she felt and search for calm.. Instead, she sensed something - Leia wasn’t yet skilled enough to know what it was, exactly she’d found, or who in this case, but it prompted her to move, to go seek from where the energy had come - Luke, before he’d gone had mentioned another Jedi had arrived, a female master; Leia could only wonder if it was her. When she found Siri - Leia could only watch her fluid, practiced motions for a moment before the woman turned to her immediately, and Leia greeted with a small sort of nod.

“Master Siri Tachi isn’t it? I apologise for interrupting you.” She really hadn’t meant to, she’d just sort of started wandering. She wasn’t nervous, more felt she’d intruded. “My brother Luke spoke of you-” The Princess had spoken to her over the network, but very briefly so. “I’m Leia.”

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knight_siri
2019-09-13 05:30 pm UTC (link)

"Leia. You're Padme and Anakin's daughter...Luke's sister." Siri's stance changed, and she immediately doused the saber and clipped it to her belt in a long-habitual motion. She still held herself like someone poised for action (the day that Siri relaxed, Obi-Wan had once said he might keel over in shock), but her expression was welcoming.

"We spoke on the communication network here. Are you alright?" Siri wasn't sure as yet if Leia had sought her out in need, or if she'd simply wandered by. Gently, she searched the emotions surrounding the princess, feeling a similar grief and a great deal of self-possessed calm. That was good; her discipline seemed stronger than her brother's. Mentally, Siri shook herself. She isn't your student, leave it be. "The interruption is welcome, trust me," she added, with a bit more levity in her tone.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-09-14 01:39 am UTC (link)

She was their child, regardless the murk that seemed to swirl around how she felt about that matter. Leia didn’t begrudge Siri’s words - for one, the Jedi Master had first met Luke, and Leia could only guess he was likely to have expressed a great deal of reverence for their birth parents, particularly their father, and what he believed was his redemption to the Lightside. “Yes. I imagine he told you we were separated, for our own safety too? It’s a shame- not only for our own sake, but I couldn’t have asked for better parents in Breha and Bail.” Though he’d loved his Aunt, she couldn’t help but feel Luke’s adoption had been treated rather differently by the Owens, compared to her own.

Leia had, for the most part been raised in discipline, structure and duty; she’d resisted several aspects for a good part of her youth, rebellious and obstinate - but had eventually come to realise it all had it’s place - and such things were tools she would one day use to lead her world and it’s people with everything generations before her had worked to establish, and what her parents sought to hold onto in the Empire’s shadow. Instead all she’d learned, alongside her grief and anger were channeled into the Rebellion.

Was she alright? Leia nodded, though she knew very well Force users were adept at reading the less superficial emotions. “It’s been quite a week.” She voiced, the very least of it. “I’d wanted to meet with you, even before they left.” Leia noted, to assure their disappearance hadn’t prompted it, though the need for distraction may have proven a catalyst. “Luke spoke so highly of you after you met, as had Master Obi-Wan. I know first hand adapting to life here is hard enough without everyone disappearing.”

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knight_siri
2019-09-15 02:10 am UTC (link)

Siri felt the small sting as she mentioned Padme and Anakin, and she rather thought she knew why. "I know-...I knew them both. " Obi-Wan had told her of what he'd learned about Alderan. Incomprehensible. "Your father, Bail," she was careful to stress that, now, "he was very involved in the Republic, in ensuing that fairness and justice remained. I daresay a lot of Jedi called him friend." She knew Obi-Wan did. Siri tried to relax a bit more, put the princess at ease. Not that she suspected she needed to.

When Leia spoke about the week, Siri couldn't hide her snort of resigned amusement. "It has been a week," she echoed, a bit distantly. Sighing, she refocused. "I didn't spend much time with your brother, but it hurts to lose Obi-Wan again. We are...were here from different times, and I'm still absorbing everything he spoke of." She hesitated, before she said, quieter, "Still, it may not be the same as being separated from a brother." A small offer to share if she wanted.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-09-15 01:25 pm UTC (link)

"It’s good to have connections from home." It was still one more to hold the memories, and stories of those lost, it was a way for them to live on. "They had so much hope for Alderaan's future, but still knew when it was time to form the Alliance against the Empire." Even with the looming threat of war, which finally broke with the planet’s destruction. "It really felt like the New Republic was in sight- just before I brought here.." Even now, she struggled to cope to have her life’s purpose gone in an instant. "The rebuilding of the Order would have been welcomed- I expect." Luke, she believes would have lead that, once he was allowed the focus.

Leia's expression softened feeling "It’s a lot to take in. I can’t imagine how overwhelming it must be to have to deal with all that information in one hit.” Her brows furrowed, and she let out a sigh. "But- if there’s anything more I can tell you- you’re welcome to ask." She didn't mind recalling it, and dwelling on unanswered matters were often frustrating.

"Loss- is loss." Leia voiced truthfully with sadness in her tone, not wanting Siri to feel herself insensitive, their grief was the same as far as the Princess was concerned. It was also a convenient way to bypass exploring now she really felt, how much it hurt and how; at times her emotions flickered between plainer grief, and anger that this place worked in the manner it did. "I’m sorry." She offered in return. "It was an honour to get to know Obi-Wan as well as I did here. I agreed to train with him when I arrived, admittedly it was more a gesture of respect-” Was that a terrible thing to do? She felt comfortable enough with Siri to be honest in this moment. "But- he taught me valuable skills. I never thought I'd appreciate meditation." No, really, there was a bittersweet sort of smirk. For weeks, she'd found it pointless and frustration had intruded.

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knight_siri
2019-09-16 05:06 pm UTC (link)

"I don't know if anyone really appreciates meditation," Siri quipped, good-naturedly, with a small roll of her eyes, "but Obi-Wan could likely convince anyone that they did." The affection lacing her tone could not be mistaken; she did care about him. Exhaling on the heels of that, Siri added, more seriously, "Your Highness, I do not think it was only respect. Anyone even mildly trained can tell you are in tune with the Force. Had you been a child in my time-" in a way she had been, but too late, "-you would have been sought out as a padawan. I know what it feels like to be around someone with that connection, and you have it. Obi-Wan wanted to encourage that." She didn't need to talk to him to know it, but he'd told her anyway, before he disappeared, about Leia and how she felt in the Force. And a lot about what came before all of that.

"I hope that you come to see me as a connection from home as well," she said, a bit more evenly, gesturing for Leia to come and walk with her back towards the town proper. Training for now was over, but... "I'm markedly different from Obi-Wan, I can tell you that, but we were the same age, lived in the same time. I would wish to talk to you about what happened, both from my time and yours. I want to keep hope that perhaps, what we learn could be taken back in some way." She inclined her head a little, a small gesture of respect as they walked. "And if you wanted to learn more about what you can do, I can teach you."

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yourhighnessnes
2019-09-18 01:50 pm UTC (link)

Master Siri’s reassurance was touching, and Leia held back on correcting her - the respect had been on Leia’s part, respecting Obi-Wan too much and perhaps feeling too much of his grief over Padme, to decline his offer to teach her. “I imagine the galaxy viewed The Force very differently- before the Empire. A gift.” It hadn’t faded entirely, much like the legends of the Jedi, it was just something that was talked about with some level of apprehension; depending on who you spoke to, it was all framed very differently. “Is it something that is only ever ..inherited in families?” She queried softly. It was something she’d wondered after Luke had told her everything he knew. There was no denying from where her, and her brother’s abilities had arisen, but - was that the case for possessed the same power? “And Luke- understood it better that I think I ever will. I’d always supposed it was just stronger in him.” Everything he’d done had shown that, he seemed far more powerful.

“I’ve thought about that myself-” Leia noted, as they walked, brows arched as she glanced to the Jedi Master beside her thoughtfully. “If there was some sort of change we could enact knowing of the future, what that would mean..” Her expression darkened a little, her gaze now turned ahead. She’d thought before - and struggled to accept it, that if the only way to defeat the Empire was just as everything had unfolded as it had, she wouldn’t change any of it. Not even the losses she’d suffered. But if the Empire failed to rise at all? It was all too convoluted. How different it could be, what so many would gain, and potentially lose.

“You would?” Learning the ways of the Force had been a reluctant choice, there was a very faint fear within her, that given Vader’s path, choosing to embrace it, was for her, a risk. But it had it’s uses. To defend herself effectively, after last month’s encounter in Vegas, would be worth it. “I’d be honoured- though you should do as you please here. You don’t have to teach.” Not that she thought the offer disingenuous, but she had the right to choose as she wanted in this strange world.

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knight_siri
2019-09-19 04:19 pm UTC (link)

"I enjoy teaching." Siri shrugged. "Every Jedi is different, and that's why in the past it was a long process finding the right padawan. I only chose one, Ferrus. He suited me very well." She missed Ferrus, much more than she expected. She'd been so proud of him as a padawan, and still very much when he struck out on his own. "He ended up leaving the Order, however. Another padawan, a close friend of his, died during a mission, and it affected him so much that he helt he couldn't continue." She had not understood, since her devotion to the Order could often be blinding, but Siri always respected his choices. "I still like teaching."

There were a lot of questions she felt in Leia, beyond the ones that were asked verbally. "I don't think I can say how the galaxy itself viewed the Force," Siri answered, a bit ruefully. "I've been out there, and the opinions are as varied as a Ithorian buffet. Some think it's all a hoax, some crazy religious belief we all thought up. Many regard it, and us, with suspicion. I'd say most respect it, or were in awe, but what are Jedi to their normal lives? The vast number of creatures out there....they are just trying to live. Our job was to make sure they could."

This was the trickier part, and she tried to think how Obi-Wan might answer. "Yes, it can be inherited. It was, a lot, in the past. Families, dynasties even. That's why the Order eventually started separating young from their families when they showed ability, so that the family name wouldn't make them feel like they were somehow better. But we're talking centuries of history so who knows what those founders were thinking, some days." She said it dismissively. Rules, bah. "Sometimes it's out of no where. None in my family ever had any aptitude other than myself." Siri glanced over at her as they walked. "But even in a family, it's never the same. Your connection to the Force is as unique as you are. Luke might have felt stronger, but you may have more finesse, more control. Anakin's greatest ability was his focus, not his power. He could be single-minded like no one else." To ease that, she added, chuckling, "And Padme didn't have a single iota of sensitivity to the Force, so there you go."

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yourhighnessnes
2019-09-24 09:15 am UTC (link)

“It’s something a Jedi decides?” She wondered softly, she understood what Siri had said, and to Leia it’d sounded as if all Jedi would one day become a teacher to those below them? “To teach? Or is it something you all do, it’s just a matter of finding the right student?”

Leia could only nod in thought, perhaps it wasn’t so hard to turn the opinions of the galaxy then? To believe what they were told of the threat of Jedi and why the purge had occurred, and Force users - to the point when she was old enough to remember it, they weren’t so commonly spoken about, or considered a comfortable topic. Her father, of course ensured she always knew the true nature of the Jedi, their bravery and dedication. “I’d always thought the ..hokey religion talk had come after the Order had fallen.” It seemed not so, the Empire no doubt used it to their advantage. “I always believed what my father had said- but I don’t think I truly understood it until I met Luke.” And what the Force made him capable of.

It was always going to be difficult - Siri's relationship to Anakin, and her's to Vader's. The trouble being the Leia knew exactly what the Jedi meant; except such single-mindedness was what allowed him to act with unflinching cruelty. But- Leia bit that back, the last thing she wanted was to alienate someone who was making an effort to befriend her.

Padme, was certainly less unsteady ground. If anything, she had first taken a path similar to her. “From what I’ve heard, she didn’t need it.” Leia smiled warmly, it wasn’t a knock to the Jedi, the necessity for their skills, or even a dismissive word against the Force, more it was that she’d heard so much of the young Queen and Senator. “My mother ensured I knew of her deeds for Naboo- and how hard she fought for the senate. Of course, I never knew why, other than her story being one that ought to live on.” Until the truth had been revealed; Leia wanted to know more of her still - but Obi-Wan had seemed so hurt by her death, it seemed too much to ask him to explore it further, for her benefit.

"I think it’s important to find some sort of purpose in this world. Perhaps my education in the Force will serve us both.”

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knight_siri
2019-10-04 03:43 am UTC (link)

Siri shook her head, slightly. "Not all Masters teach. There is so much to do, every day, everywhere. Or, there was, for me." She half-smiled, ruefully. "But at the same time...yes, we all do, at some point. There are Jedi who spend their whole lives in the Temple, either in the creche or the archives or just in the kitchens. Being a Jedi means to serve." She mused, her eyes traveling over the landscape. "Those of us who fight, who travel from planet to planet to keep peace, we're better known, but for each one of us, there are a dozen more Jedi who toil in quiet to support what we do. They preserve history, raise the younglings..." Siri closed her eyes briefly, thinking about home. She had never missed the Temple, just knowing in the back of her mind it was always there. And now it was not.

She reopened her eyes and looked at Leia. "I always liked Bail. Smart, capable. Kind. Very polite to all Jedi even though I'm sure he also thought at some point that we were fools." Her look was dry. "Being around someone who can feel the Force, it's constantly surprising. If you can't feel it, you forget, moment to moment, day to day. And then you see it again, and it's surprising again and so I don't ever fault anyone who is dismissive or even rejects it, because it's too much to think about."

Her tone was forgiving, understanding, even as it was humored. Siri knew how others could look at Jedi. She knew that she was doing all that she could to help others even when they turned away from her. It didn't mean anything.

Padme was indeed safer ground. "She pointed out many times that she didn't need it," Siri agreed, "and also made us feel sometimes as if we didn't either." That brought another smile. "She would tell us to get our heads out of the clouds. Not me, of course," Siri said, with a knowing nod, "but the others, every time. She took action when it was needed, without hesitation, but if words served better, she'd speak up, say something. Put herself out there. Many say the Jedi are fearless, but trust me....she was more fearless than the lot of us put together." A newly familiar pang. Padme was gone, and Siri hadn't realized how much that would affect her. Why should she be alive and Padme not? It was never something she thought she'd have to face.

Turning more fully to Leia, Siri nodded again. "We all make our own way. I feel like you are a person who will go where you are needed, be who you need to be."

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