InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I love someone I can't have"

Steve Rogers (captainhandsome) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-07-18 12:47:00

Entry tags:

steve rogers (mcu), tony stark (mcu)

Who: Steve and Tony (mcu)
What: Werewolf fights and then Steve turning back into a Super Soldier
Where: Around the place
When: Full moon
Rating: NSFW fo sho

Steve shouldn't have got involved. Which of course meant of course he was going to get involved. He wasn't Super, he was just Steve Rogers but he still had a heck of a lot of heart. But heart wasn't the only thing that won wars, but he wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he'd sat it out, or something had happened to Remus. So he was there and although he managed a good throw of his shield, he had thought for a moment he and Sirius might have it under control, but that had been wishful thinking.

He knew Tony was going to be angry, but he also knew he'd understand. This was part of who they were and putting themselves in the line of fire was essentially a full time job. If something happened to him while he was protection people, so it would be. But today wasn't that day and to Steve's credit he followed at a distance after he'd recovered his shield.

Everything happened fast and just when he'd been ready to charge back in Tony finished it, maybe that's why he finished it.

In the aftermath Steve took a few puffs on an inhaler, checking on people and making sure Claire had what she needed before he returned to the center of town. He fetched Sirius some coffee and embraced him for a long moment before leaving him to it.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-18 10:46 pm UTC (link)

He wasn't sorry, not about this. But he was sorry that he'd worried Tony, that he'd had to watch that. But that was the gig and as much as he didn't like it, that he was never going to like watching Tony put himself on the line (or worse) he'd have to come to terms with it and he didn't want him to have to be sorry. If they went back, if things continued as they seemed like they might, well Steve was going to have to deal with more than just Tony putting himself at risk, like losing him altogether.

"It's a start," he said before taking a sip from his own cup. Maybe coffee wasn't a good choice, what with it being late already, but he knew they weren't going to bed any time soon. Steve didn't want to leave Tony and he knew the older man wasn't going to leave the kids. "And I know you're a sucker for coffee," he added as he looked up at him.

Of course he was a sucker for more than just coffee and Steve was starting to realize that.

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allaboutego
2019-07-18 10:59 pm UTC (link)

It wasn't like Tony had forgotten about his own fate or anything he just -- didn't seem able to align it with the now. And even if he was able to, he wouldn't be thinking about that right now. This was about Steve going off and threatening a werewolf with his asthma, okay?

It was kind of hard to be mad at someone for acting on their very nature though, try as Tony might. Now that he'd looked Steve over, was aware he was fine beyond a little scuff and bruise -- well. He sighed and took a drink of his coffee - perfectly made because Steve always remembered how he liked it best. "Yeah," he said finally. "I'm a sucker for coffee. Don't be so smug. I'm still mad."

This courtyard needed benches in it. It wasn't exactly a thought that mattered this second, but it was what had come up anyway.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-18 11:18 pm UTC (link)

Steve wasn't smug, not at all, not even hardly at all. But he did smile into his coffee, hiding it away because he'd get into trouble for that. "I'll bring you coffee every day for a month," Steve promised and it was silly because he brought Tony coffee every day but that was beside the point.

A broken crate was located for sitting on and Steve made Tony sit as they drank. The night stretched on and Steve found himself leaning into him both for warmth and for comfort as the adrenaline faded. There wasn't much to say and Steve wasn't one to talk to hear the sound of his own voice.

The moon was high in the sky when Steve sat upright. He'd been a little bruised from his run in with the wolf, but fine really, so the shooting pain down his spine was unexpected. Steve's bones felt like they were made of fire and he hunched forward, gasping with it.

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allaboutego
2019-07-19 02:28 am UTC (link)

Tony decided to not point out that he was aware that Steve already brought him coffee every single day anyway, and huffed out a noise of near amusement. He only nodded and sat down on the crate with Steve.

And waited.

Well. It wasn't really waiting. Tony didn't know what it was, exactly. Retribution for his own actions possibly. An inability to not take credit and stay with everyone else because Remus and his friends deserved to think they weren't being abandoned after all they'd gone through.

He ran out of coffee the first half hour. Wrapped his arm around Steve soon after because he was shivering a little. It warmed him up too, so that was a win.

Tony had been so close to just drifting off when Steve hunched over that he startled badly when it happened. "Steve?" He asked, wary even as he settled his hand on Steve's back. He had just the tiniest moment of fear about how Steve had maybe been bitten by the wolf.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-20 11:28 am UTC (link)

Steve was shivering more than a little, but Tony's arm was warm and heavy and he'd been happy to lean into him. Sometimes being small had its benefits obviously, he was starting to enjoy being tucked under Tony like that. A little body heat went a long way, Steve knew a thing or two about that.

He hadn't meant to scare the other man and he wanted to apologize to him for it. But he couldn't talk, he couldn't even see, his eyes screwed up as the pain intensified. It hurt, it hurt just as badly as it had last time as his muscles ripped and expanded and healed, his bones lengthened and everything adjusted. Steve fell to his knees, crying out again before the transformation was complete once again.

His fingers clenched against the stone and Steve could tell by the size and shape of his knuckles that he was back without even feeling the weight off of his chest as he breathed long and deep. The shirt he wore of Tony's was suddenly too small, the button on the pants torn free and zip busted open and Steve sat back on his heels.

"Tony," he said quietly.

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allaboutego
2019-07-20 07:41 pm UTC (link)

This last few weeks had really done a number on Tony's already too high anxiety issues, and Steve crashing down to the ground didn't help even a little bit. "What--" He was quick to follow, hand going directly to Steve's back which was -- twitching in a way that Tony was pretty goddamned sure that he never, ever wanted to feel again.

And then whatever it was that had just happened was done and Tony was so surprised that he fell back until he was sitting on his ass, staring at his person in half wonder. "Steve," he repeated quietly, hushed.

Well. It looked like things were going back to normal. Which was -- an interesting turn of events that seems ironic considering how the night had already gone. It felt like a relief though. "Your pants don't fit," he said after a moment, unsure what else to say.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-21 01:34 am UTC (link)

He'd been through it once before and the sound he'd made that time still echoed in his dreams. But of course a refresher was welcome compared to the alternative, being trapped in his smaller body forever. It hurt too much to completely comprehend what was happening, but once it was done it didn't linger and Steve breathed deep right into the bottom of his lungs.

It felt incredible and Steve wouldn't take breathing for granted ever again. Tony looked a little like he might go into shock and Steve ran his hand up and down his own arm just to check, to be sure.

Steve glanced down, glad that the seams had held and he hadn't embarrassed himself out in a public place. "Huh, fancy that," he said as he looked back up at him. Steve moved forward on his knees until he was in front of Tony and pulled him up off his ass and into his arms, his face pressed against his neck.

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allaboutego
2019-07-21 01:40 am UTC (link)

"Fancy that," Tony repeated, somewhere between dazed and teasing because of course Steve would say that. He'd just pop back to how he was supposed to be and he oh, neat'ed it. Of course.

He'd be mad if he wasn't so happy about it. Not that he'd disliked the other version of Steve, obviously, just --this one was healthier by every measure, and he knew Steve liked this better so. Yeah. He was pleased. And he wasn't going to lie, he liked that Steve could basically just pick him up again with no trouble.

Like now. "Hey," he said, melting into the hug because it felt good, because Tony didn't know he'd been needing it. And it was just really fucking nice to have a win tonight.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-21 01:59 am UTC (link)

He didn't want to get too emotional, like it was anything incredibly important being back to looking like this. But it was, to feel better, to feel strong, that was important to Steve. This body was the one he'd met Tony in, fallen for him in and that meant something.

Also he wasn't going to lie, Steve liked looking like this. Maybe he hadn't at first and it had taken some getting used to and he hadn't liked the attention that had come along with it. But this felt like him now, but knowing Tony wanted him regardless of what body he was in? That was an incredible feeling, something he'd never expected.

Steve's arms wrapped around Tony's waist and the scruff of his beard rubbed over the soft skin of his neck and it felt like coming home. "Hey, you," he said quietly, his voice a little thick and he hadn't expected this would feel so emotional.

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allaboutego
2019-07-21 02:06 am UTC (link)

Well, it deserved a little bleeding of emotion. It wasn't like it was because of a bias (even if they had one) or anything like that. Just because -- well. Because it was good. It meant that maybe things were going back to normal.

Whatever that meant in a place like this, anyway.

"Hi. You okay?" He asked, not quite pulling away yet, even though he was sure they were getting a little attention considering they were sitting in the middle of the courtyard and a few people were still here. It didn't matter, much. Steve's arms around his waist were an anchor and he just wanted to keep that. Just for a little while.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-21 02:34 am UTC (link)

There were people around and Steve's clothes resembled that of The Hulk and Steve? Well, he didn't even care, not at all. It was almost too good to be true because he'd been so bloody sure that he was stuck in his old body forever.

"Yeah I'm okay, I'm great," Steve said quietly against his ear. He wasn't the only one back to normal, everyone was and it was an incredible relief, one shared by those around them.

The only thing stopping Steve from throwing Tony over his shoulder then and there was all the people and he gave her waist a firm squeeze. "I better go back to the house and change," he said.

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allaboutego
2019-07-21 02:41 am UTC (link)

What a shame that was, too. Tony might not have minded a little bit of manhandling, particular in the shape of a fireman's carry back to their house. But he was the mayor of this place, and it would be fairly insensitive to the whole werewolf situation over there.

The sun was coming up much sooner than later though, and Tony leaned back enough to glance up at the sky, then back at Steve who really was pretty close to bursting out of the seams there. "There goes my shirt," he lamented. It'd been nice seeing Steve in his clothes while it lasted, anyway. "Hey," he said, chewing at his lower lip. "Give me a little bit and I'll catch up with you, okay? I'm just gonna make sure they get home okay."

Maybe he wouldn't bother changing once he got home so much as just losing what he had on.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-21 12:04 pm UTC (link)

Things were somber, they hadn't gone exactly as anyone would have liked. The young wizards didn't need Steve crowing like a teenager over his re-transformation and he knew Tony didn't want to leave them. "Send me a text message if you need me," Steve told him as he ran his fingers slowly through Tony's hair to brush it back. That was just the sort of person Tony was, he wanted to stay with them, be strong for them and he just loved him all the more for it. It's what made him such a good leader and an even better man.

He pressed a kiss to Tony's temple and stood up, grasping Tony's hand to give him one last kiss against the knuckles before he headed back to their house.

It looked a little different than it had when they'd moved in, what with Tony's two spider kids having moved in they spent a little more time in their room when they were home. The house was quiet and Steve headed for their bedroom, working the too tight material of Tony's shirt over his head as he bumped the door closed behind him with his hip. The pants were even harder to get off and the shoes, well they were ruined now anyway. Steve thought about dressing again, but went with a shower instead, just something quick to rinse off the sweat from earlier. When he was done he figured Tony might appreciate the sight and he lay back on their bed to wait.

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allaboutego
2019-07-22 01:18 am UTC (link)

Tony waved Steve away, not because he wanted him to leave but because it felt important that he did before Tony decided he didn't care about the somber mood and just jumped him completely.

So unprofessional.

In the end though, he didn't need help -- and he was dismissed from Remus and Sirius' house pretty quickly. And after that --- well. He didn't have much of a reason to stay out, did he?

So he went home. To Steve. Who was, apparently, waiting in their bed naked. Tony close the door behind himself and leaned on it heavily, just taking in the sight. "Look at you," he said, tilting his head to the side slightly. "Glad to be back to you, huh?" He was overdressed and probably needed a shower but -- for now he could enjoy the view.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-22 12:49 pm UTC (link)

Steve wasn't one to show off about how he looked. Maybe with what he could do, by mercilessly running laps around Sam or being a smart ass when he could one up a friend in a sparring session. But he was shy about people thinking he was attractive, then again Tony wasn't people and he was darn glad to be back in his new-old-new skin. He'd been thumbing through a book someone had bought back through the door from a museum but he let that fall closed when the handle on their door turned without anyone knocking.

Because there was only one person that would be.

He sat up, running a hand through his hair as he nodded. "Yeah," Steve said as he breathed all the way out nice and quietly. "Everyone get home?" He asked because if Tony was going back out Steve wanted to know now, before he got ahead of himself.

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allaboutego
2019-07-22 11:09 pm UTC (link)

If nothing else, that was what Tony was going to be most pleased about when it came to Steve being Steve again; the breathing. The way it was labored and sometimes wet had kept Tony up at night, worried and anxious. Tony understood very much labored, difficult breathing any the empathy of it had only made him feel worse every time Steve had pulled in a breath and then failed at it, resulting in a cough.

This'd be much better.

"Yeah," he said, pulling himself away from his thoughts, scattered as ever. There were better things to be focusing on, here. Much better. "Everyone's as fine as can be." He paused, smiling a little. "How're you?" It wasn't far from the doorway to the bed and Tony didn't really dawdle on the way there, only stopping to toe his shoes off.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-22 11:26 pm UTC (link)

As fine as can be, that seemed pretty good to Steve and that meant there was nothing else they needed to focus on. Looking after everyone else was something they both had in common and so with the door closed they could separate themselves from the obligation for just a little while and it would take something real serious to draw Steve away from Tony in that moment.

"How am I?" Steve repeated with a little smile on his face as he moved up onto his knees and reached for him. His hand cupped the back of Tony's neck and pulled him in for a kiss, slow but endlessly eager.

It was the kind of day you wanted to forget, where nothing had gone right but he was at least back in his own body and he was going to enjoy that. His dick was already hard, curved up toward his stomach and it was pretty obvious how he was. "Glad you're here," he said as he pushed his hand up underneath Tony's shirt.

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allaboutego
2019-07-24 02:09 am UTC (link)

Yeah, no. The front door was shut and locked. The bedroom door was closed. The room was tech soundproofed and nothing short of a fire was going to get Tony to leave at this point.

He smiled into the kiss before he melted into it, knee finding the edge of the bed to take his weight, to keep their balance just so. He'd love Steve no matter what, but he wasn't going to lie and say that he hadn't missed the way that Steve could just manhandle him just so to take what he wanted.

"Is it just me," He asked when he pulled away a little for a breath, "or am I just way too overdressed? I feel over dressed." Comparatively, anyway. It didn't matter though -- Steve was a sight today and Tony didn't care much about his own state of dress when he could look at the way Steve was just sort of glowing with pleasure.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-24 10:20 pm UTC (link)

There was no part of him that ever wanted to revisit his old body, but he could admit that it had been good for them in a way. Tony loved him, big and bulky or small and lean and Steve would treasure that knowledge. It wasn't some 'what if' where the other man would reassure him, Steve knew it for a fact. But there was no shame in that fact they both liked this better, Steve maybe even more than Tony because he felt more like himself.

"So overdressed," Steve quickly agreed as he tugged up Tony's shirt. The problem was he had to stop touching him to get it over his head, but he did, pulling it free and tossing it away as quickly as he could.

Tony hadn't changed, but Steve still felt like he was seeing him again after a long absence. Steve used both hands to slowly unfasten his trousers, bottom lip between his teeth as he did. "So beautiful," Steve murmured quietly. As the adrenaline faded it left Steve feeling pent up and in the past he'd had to deal with that alone. But this? This was better.

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allaboutego
2019-07-25 12:10 am UTC (link)

Tony laughed as his shirt went flying and tilted his hips forward somewhat like he was just ready to wriggle and writhe out of his jeans as soon as the fly was undone and he had enough space in which to do so.

"I bet it's better in technicolor too," Tony said, not really teasing but little big Steve's list of ailments was a little on the ridiculous side, and he was certain Steve would agree. "Not that I don't think you thought I looked fine a little off-colored but still."

This was better. Tony was still sort of on high alert -- there was no way he couldn't be after the weeks and night he'd just had -- but he was willing to bet that Steve could help with that. No one got Tony to let go of the weight sitting on his shoulders like Steve did.

He pushed his pants down the rest of the way, stepped out of them and then crowded into Steve's space to actually get on the bed.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-25 05:05 am UTC (link)

Everything Tony did was sexy, when Steve wriggled out of his pants he looked somehow uncoordinated and awkward. But Tony? Tony was a vision of shaking hips and Steve pushed them down his thighs eagerly.

"You always look fucking incredible," Steve said, his voice pitched low like you could hear just how turned on he was in every syllable. Which was all the more true because now Tony was naked and while he hadn't changed and then changed back Steve could never get enough of him.

Tony joined him back on the bed and Steve smiled as they kissed, his hands dropping down to his ass to pull him in closer. They just fit together better like this, their hips slotting together and he groaned into Tony's mouth.

Yeah pent up was exactly how he was feeling.

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allaboutego
2019-07-25 06:26 pm UTC (link)

That pent up feeling wasn't going to last for long -- not in a way where it felt like a punishment, anyway. They could draw things out all they wanted, but the wait was over. That felt important and good.

Steve's hands on his ass pulling them closer together was fantastically good and Tony pressed his hips further forward until they were slotted together as closely as possible. It hadn't taken much time at all for him to get on board after seeing the way that Steve's cock was hard and standing at full attention. It was a gorgeous look, it really was.

"Want you," he said between kisses, between his fingers roaming muscles that he hadn't forgotten even if they hadn't been there for a while. "Steve." They deserved this.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-26 05:17 am UTC (link)

It felt so good to have Tony back against him, to look down and see how their bodies pressed together. They made a pretty picture and Steve groaned as he took it in, dragging his hand along Tony's shoulder until he cupped his neck.

Being wanted by Tony Stark was a heady feeling, he knew he loved him and he'd thought he was attractive in his smaller body. But like this Steve felt more confident and the chemistry was kicked up a notch. Between that and being fresh from a fight, it was an intense mix.

"Tony," Steve whispered right back. He kept his other hand on Tony's ass- because of course he did he knew a good thing when he had it and leaned down to kiss up his neck. "You are so gorgeous," Steve breathed out.

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allaboutego
2019-07-26 05:36 am UTC (link)

Steve's hands were bigger now, warmer, and Tony liked the way his fingers could curve all the way around the back of his neck. It was just something nice between sexy and a comfort. Which felt important just now, he was pretty sure.

Gorgeous was nice, really. All fine and good and Tony liked the compliment (of course he did) the same way that he liked how Steve was so obviously finding reasons to be leaning over him, like he wanted to relish the whole being taller thing again. Which was completely understandable. Tony smiled to himself slightly, hands running down his sides, calloused fingers tracing each muscle and dip that he found. "Distract me," he said, even though he was already plenty distracted. A little more never hurt.

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captainhandsome
2019-07-26 06:03 am UTC (link)

Steve couldn't help it, he'd missed how small Tony was against him. Because he wasn't a small guy, not really, but he loved how well every part of him fit in his hands and he loved leaning down to kiss him.

He laughed as he grabbed Tony by the hips and half lifted and half let him shuffle as he turned him around. "Every part of you is fucking perfect," Steve huffed as he kissed down the back of his neck. There was no point pretending they both hadn't missed Steve's ability to manhandle him and Steve groaned as he pulled Tony back so he could rub up against his ass this time.

"Is this okay, beautiful?" Steve asked, his voice gentle even though his hands weren't as he urged Tony down onto his hands and knees.

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