InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "EX-TER-MI-NATE!!!"

mr. bucket; buckets of fun (sgt_barnesjb) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-03-13 08:09:00

Entry tags:

bucky barnes (mcu), steve rogers (mcu)

WHO: Bucky Barnes (MCU) and Steve Rogers (MCU)
WHAT: Hey, you're here too. Yup.
WHERE: Outside of where Steve's living
WHEN: Evening
RATING: Low, maybe some swears and feels we'll see.

Everything was confusing and nothing made sense. Bucky was trying not to overthink, to venture into territory with no answers because he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere at the moment. He'd learned a few things in the short time he'd been there. Thinking smaller, to the more immediate situation surrounding him was also very confusing. In his welcoming with America, he'd learned that there was a Steve Rogers and a Tony Stark in what he'd also learned was now called Starklandia (really). He'd also found out that Stark knew him. He was guessing, based on a comment Stark made that meant that Steve knew him, too. Of course, immediately, he wanted to go to Steve because that was just sort of instinctual for him. But he hadn't, not yet. Honestly he didn't even know if Steve knew he was there, if Stark told him or anyone else. He doubted it, since Steve hadn't come looking for him. There was a reason Bucky was lurking, but he didn't think he could do it forever. He just needed to do some observation, first.

And he had. Which was exactly why he'd stayed away. Steve, who he was 99.9% sure was the Steve he'd known forever, was living with Tony Stark. He didn't really understand why that was, but that was Steve's business. Last he knew, they were at odds and a lot of that had to do with him -- Bucky. If Steve was trying to survive in this place with Stark, Bucky didn't want to cause problems with that. He didn't want to be the cause for a rift, again. But this place wasn't that big, and he'd engaged in a brief interaction with Stark that didn't immediately lead to a manhunt so he figured that would mean it was safe to talk to Steve. Maybe.

So he decided to wait. Outside, across from where he'd seen Steve and Stark coming and going. Bucky wasn't really sure what to think, say, or do. But he needed to see Steve. He needed to know where and when he was from, too. He leaned himself against a tree, waiting for some sort of sign of life to emerge -- hopefully of the Rogers variety, as opposed to the alternative.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

captainhandsome
2019-03-16 01:37 am UTC (link)

"And you've got to get it perfect." As Bucky stepped forward everything about him seemed like home. There were some different versions of people around but they were all, well, different. It was easy to spot that Clint wasn't the Clint he knew and the Spideys weren't all from his world. But Bucky just felt a whole lot like home. "Longer than most."

The last time they'd seen each other flashed in front of him, reality getting a little blurry at the edges like it too was going to slip right through his fingers. But he breathed out slow as he took the remaining steps forward.

The embrace bordered on a little rough, like Steve forgot his arms were as strong as they were as he wrapped them around him. His hand settled on the back of his neck giving a hard squeeze as he let out another shaky breath.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sgt_barnesjb
2019-03-16 02:01 pm UTC (link)

Bucky knew he'd changed. He remembered the way he used to be, before everything that happened during and after the war. Had this been the 1940's and he'd shown up, obviously, he would've just gone right up to Steve, wrapped an arm around his shoulders and started talking about this or that without batting an eyelash. It would've been easy as breathing. He'd regained a lot of what he lost, but that -- that carefree part of his personality was still lost in translation. He had his humor, his wit, his ability to converse about most thing (that one, he just often chose not to engage in unless he was with a very select few people) but understandably so, he just wasn't the man he used to be. Steve was one of the few people who got that, thankfully, even though he was also the driving force behind his motivation to believe he could still be Bucky, not just what was left of him.

He nodded to Steve's response, and drew in a breath as the other man moved closer. In the world he'd been ripped out of, he'd only seen Steve a short while before and was actually on his way to see him again before they stepped foot on the battlefield, but something in his heart told him Steve was really needing the hug they both naturally stepped into. That became almost painfully clear in the way Steve tapped into a bit of that strength the serum gave him. Bucky returned it, just as fiercely because it seemed like it was very important to his best friend to know that Bucky was truly there.

That didn't bode well for whatever point in time Steve had been pulled from. As they drew back, he kept a comforting hand on his friend's back and met his eyes; Steve was still one of the few he actually could make eye contact with and hold it. "Is it bad for me to say I'm glad you're here? Even though we shouldn't be here, and we don't know what exactly 'here' is?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

captainhandsome
2019-03-19 03:47 am UTC (link)

That was the thing with getting older, people changed. Steve himself had changed more than most when you considered him in the 1940's, pre serum and before Captain anything. He'd just been a kid looking to draw the world a little prettier than it was. But war had come and war brought responsibility, or that's what it had brought to Steve. Bucky wasn't the James Barnes he'd been back then either, light as anything, quick and sleek like new car itching to get out onto the open road. But time changed them, it changed everything especially when it brought loss. But that didn't mean Steve stopped seeing Bucky as human, a person that things had happened to, his person as much now as ever. Just now with a ridiculous haircut.

They met strength for strength and there was no need to ask, they were from the same place. They were Bucky and Steve. They gripped each other and Steve closed his eyes, like he could put it all back together, that he could unlose and this was the real end of the battle. But things weren't that easy.

As they put some space between them, neither let go, Steve's hand stayed on Bucky's neck like letting go wasn't really something they were ready for yet. Bad things happened when Steve let go. "I mean it's selfish, but sounds about right," Steve agreed. "I'm glad you're here, it's good to see you. Are you hungry?" He squeezed his neck again, that caretaker mode coming all too easily because someone had to, right?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sgt_barnesjb
2019-03-19 02:19 pm UTC (link)

A wave of relief washed over him as he and Steve came together and embraced. That was his Steve. There was no questioning it now. He'd been almost certain of it before when he was observing him, but he'd wondered, given what he'd read and seen there being alternate versions of one's self present. It was a concern for Bucky; what if another version of him showed up, full blown Winter Soldier style? They'd deal with it, obviously, but that was a problem. Focus, he reminded himself, so he didn't lose his train of thought. Steve. This was Steve.

It was also a comfort to know that the Steve in front of him seemed very aware of who he was now which led him to believe they were from about the same time period in their lives. They wouldn't have to do much explaining, he hoped. Probably some, but that could happen when they needed it to.

One of the things Bucky appreciated the most about the way Steve regarded him was that he didn't treat him any differently when they spoke. He didn't treat him like a victim or really do much of anything to call attention to the things that happened to him. He was just Bucky, and it was enough. Whether he was having a good day or one of his dark days, Steve still saw him as the same person. Whether or not Steve felt that way remained to be seen, but it felt that way to Bucky. Steve was protective, but so was Bucky. They were both wired like that about each other. It was just their way.

"I could eat," he replied. His way of saying 'yes' without having to say that no, he hadn't eaten since he'd arrived and was running on empty. The serum allowed for that but even he had his limits. It was another beat or two before he finally let his hand drop back to his side. "Still kind of trying to figure out how this place works."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

captainhandsome
2019-03-21 03:08 am UTC (link)

Steve had grown used to seeing Bucky without the arm now, when they'd spent time together in Wakanda he hadn't worn it and he'd not had it on their video calls. It was strange the things you got used to, that now it was weird to see him with all his limbs. It was an upgrade obviously, just like Steve's own uniform, you almost didn't notice at first it was artificial, certainly not until you got to the hand.

First things first he nudged Bucky toward the square, falling into step easily beside him. There was room in Steve's own house to cook, but he tended to prepare meals and leave food in the main area for anyone who might need it. "What's the last thing you remember, Buck?" Steve asked because well some things you needed to know. They were roughly from the same time, but the thing was did Bucky remember dying or not? Peter did and Steve didn't envy that memory, not one bit.

There was no one else in the square, but the fire remained crackling and the stew Steve had made earlier while having been eaten by a few people was still half full. He added some water and stirred it in lest it all evaporate and go dry before he grabbed a bowl and filled it for his friend. "Here, eat, I'll get us some water." Steve said as he handed it off and grabbed some cups as well.

"Honestly I don't think anyone knows what to make of this, survival kind of kicks in, food, shelter, then tackle the rest," Steve explained.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sgt_barnesjb
2019-03-22 10:03 pm UTC (link)

The new arm had been an adjustment for Bucky, too. He didn't mind it, though. The old one, he'd never really liked once he regained his sense of self and his memories. There was too much death, violence and torture attached to that arm. Even though at the time it'd been unfortunate that it was severed off, Bucky hadn't missed it afterward. Stark had done him a favor, amazingly enough. Adapting to life without it hadn't been so bad. Some balance issues, a few inconveniences, but he'd managed. He definitely preferred it to the alternative. Even though having the other arm made things easier, the sight of it had disheartened him considerably because of what it meant. He didn't harbor as much resentment toward it though since it was being used for the right reasons, unlike the one Zola had fashioned for him.

He felt considerably calmer now that he'd reunited with Steve and confirmed he was, in fact, the Steve Rogers he knew. It would've still been a relief to be in contact with any form of Steve Rogers, but obviously having the company of the Steve from his world was the best option even in a shitty situation like this.

He took the bowl and nodded in thanks, then started to eat. It was only after the first bite that he realized how hungry he actually was. "Last thing I was doing before I showed up here was getting ready for the battle against Thanos. I was coming to find you, so we could go out in the field together. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

captainhandsome
2019-03-28 12:37 am UTC (link)

Steve knew that feeling, of not focusing on pain or needs and then when you started addressing them how intense they could be. But there was plenty of food and water and Steve had time, they all had nothing but really. They weren't the same as they'd been before the war, there had been so much lightness then, all gone now and replaced with hard edges. But there was still that sense of brotherhood and belonging, nothing in the world could be too bad, because they were there together.

"Yeah, yes I know," Steve nodded as he poured them some water and returned to sit on one of the upturn barrels. That wasn't the ideal point to come from, although it meant unlike Peter he wouldn't remember what had come next. But he was going to ask, that Steve knew.

He sighed as he took a sip of water, more to give himself a moment than because he was actually thirsty. "We lost," Steve finally said, because that summed it up. "We lost and-" he cleared his throat before he looked back at his friend. "You were gone."

Again.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sgt_barnesjb
2019-03-29 06:31 pm UTC (link)

Listening as Steve spoke, his suspicions were confirmed. They were from around the same time. Steve was a little ways ahead of him though, and the news he brought with him wasn't exactly good. So, they'd lost. Bucky hadn't been feeling terribly optimistic when he'd been presented with a shiny new Wakandan made arm and subsequently informed of what was coming. He'd felt a little bit better when Princess Shuri presented him with a new ensemble to wear into battle. It had looked like an upgraded version of his Howling Commandos uniform and he had to give her credit for the attention to detail. It reminded him of before, when he felt like they'd be able to get through anything being led by Steve no matter how bleak things seemed to be. His hope wavered a little while he was arming himself with weapons, and never really rose above giving them a fifty/fifty shot of winning. Even so, to hear they lost was a hard blow to take.

But it got worse.

There was a heaviness to Steve's tone as he revealed that they'd lost, and it felt even heavier when he revealed that next detail. That had been the whole thing they were trying to avoid, wasn't it? Wiping out half of the universe? Bucky apparently had ended up on the half that was wiped out. He couldn't imagine what they must've been like, or looked like, or who else they knew who'd vanished. "Shit," he cursed softly, and ran his human hand through his hair, all the way down to the tips at his shoulders. He tugged at the ends and then let go, letting his hand fall back to his side. "Dammit." He cursed again, a little louder. It was so frustrating to learn what was to come back from where he'd been. And it hurt his heart knowing history kept repeating itself with the two of them being separated in one way or another.

"I'm sorry, I-- How long for you has it been since that happened?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

captainhandsome
2019-03-30 12:05 am UTC (link)

Steve hadn't been optimistic when faced with what was before them, but he also had no experience with actually losing. When it came down to it, his team had always come together and been the exception. They'd pulled through and goodness, perhaps by The Grace of God had prevailed. But not then, and that tore at him, kept him awake at night and lay heavy on his shoulders. Had they been wrong to fight? Had he been the weak link? Had his feud with Tony been what caused the deaths of countless beings across the universe. He looked away, not really looking at anything just looking as that swirl of panic teased the edges of his vision. So Steve breathed slow and even, focused on where his feet lay on the ground and kept him connected to something.

What else was there to say? Dammit was about it. Steve set down his cup and ran both hands through his hair before bracing his elbows on his knees. "Over a month," he said with a little shrug, the apology appreciated but not acknowledges.

"And now I don't know, you're here, where's here? Can we regroup and try again? What's brought us here?" There was only questions and Steve sighed rather than work himself up into some ranting and grief stricken man. "I just don't know."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sgt_barnesjb
2019-03-31 07:07 am UTC (link)

There really wasn't much else to say about it. They'd lost. Half of the universe was gone, Bucky included. He didn't have it in him to ask Steve who else had vanished. It wasn't fair to drag that up and the hurt that went along with it. Steve already likely was carrying most of that weight anyway, if Bucky had to guess. What could they have done? It wasn't as though Thanos had picked and chosen who lived and who died. And even if there had been a choice, Bucky would've preferred to be the one out of the two of them to go. Steve had more to give to the world, and the other Avengers needed him even if they were frayed and scattered all over the place. It wasn't fair for Steve to have that on his shoulders either, but that was the way things were. Or had been. They were in a different place entirely now.

Bucky's gaze had fallen to the ground because it was easier to look there than anywhere else while he processed everything that had been said, and the fact that they had indeed lost. He appreciated that Steve wasn't trying to put on a brave face in front of him, assuring him that they would manage and get through it. He was being honest; he didn't know what to do. He was just as lost as everyone else and he wasn't afraid for Bucky to know it. They didn't keep secrets; never had. It wasn't them.

Slowly, he looked over at his best friend and reached out, resting his human hand on Steve's shoulder. Physical contact felt important right now, since he'd apparently vanished from the world back home. "I don't know either," he said. "But whatever it was brought me to you. Whether the intent behind all of this was good or malicious, I can't help but feel a little grateful for at least that part."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

captainhandsome
2019-04-03 06:59 am UTC (link)

Steve felt like the weight of half the universe sat on his shoulders, it felt like it had come down to him, they'd trusted him and he'd lead them into defeat. How many times was he supposed to watch people slip through his hands? To feel that loss? It already felt unbearable. But Steve did what he always did, picked himself up and put one foot in front of the other. So now to be here? With long quiet days, not running or hiding? Sure people hated it but there was a part of Steve, a big part, that had preyed for it. A chance to stop, to rest, to live. Steve was tired and it was the kind of tired that went past a good nights sleep, that held onto your bones and he knew Tony could see it, Bucky would too.

They both but on their brave faces, not looking at each other as they processed alone but together. There was an ease to it, familiar and Steve sighed as he closed his eyes.

Even with his eyes closed he felt Bucky's hand coming, he didn't startle or even open his eyes, his head tilting forward slightly. "What poem did you steal that line from?" Steve asked as he slowly lifted his head, a little smile in the corner of his mouth.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -