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This should be good. ;) First a bit of canon . . . US Ed. p.740-1
"Snape's Patronus was a doe," said Harry, "the same as my mother's, because he loved her for nearly all of his life, from the time when they were children. You should have realized," he said as he saw Voldemort's nostrils flare, "he asked you to spare her life, didn't he?"
"He desired her, that was all," sneered Voldemort, "but when she had gone, he agreed that there were other women, and of purer blood, worthier of him-"
"Of course, he told you that," said Harry, "but he was Dumbledore's spy from the moment you threatened her, . . . "
I do think Voldemort has it wrong-even if Snape loved Lily obsessively, I believe he loved her as best as he was able. But Harry may have over simplified things and probably the truth lies between.
So who were these other women? Girlfriends? One night stands? Did they even exist? I just noticed for the first time that Voldemort said "he agreed that there were other women." That leaves quite a bit of wiggle room.
I would ask that we stick to canon-yes, yes, we all know he was shagging Lupin or waiting for Hermione to come of age :P but for the purposes of this discussion, please leave your favorite ship at the door.
"Snape's Patronus was a doe," said Harry, "the same as my mother's, because he loved her for nearly all of his life, from the time when they were children. You should have realized," he said as he saw Voldemort's nostrils flare, "he asked you to spare her life, didn't he?"
"He desired her, that was all," sneered Voldemort, "but when she had gone, he agreed that there were other women, and of purer blood, worthier of him-"
"Of course, he told you that," said Harry, "but he was Dumbledore's spy from the moment you threatened her, . . . "
I do think Voldemort has it wrong-even if Snape loved Lily obsessively, I believe he loved her as best as he was able. But Harry may have over simplified things and probably the truth lies between.
So who were these other women? Girlfriends? One night stands? Did they even exist? I just noticed for the first time that Voldemort said "he agreed that there were other women." That leaves quite a bit of wiggle room.
I would ask that we stick to canon-yes, yes, we all know he was shagging Lupin or waiting for Hermione to come of age :P but for the purposes of this discussion, please leave your favorite ship at the door.
Voldemort knew for a fact that Snape was so in love (or infatuated lust or whatever) with Lily to have pleaded to him for her life. One would imagine that this was a rare occurrence, even among his closest subordinates -- for him to presumptuously ask his Master to spare the life of a mudblood who has thrice defied the Dark Lord and is clearly an enemy. If Voldemort had any sense, he would monitor Snape's private life, at least to some extent, before trusting him again post-resurrection. A healthy 36-year-old heterosexual man showing zero interest in other women sexually, after all these years following the death of his object of desire, would be a good sign that the man might not have gotten over Lily and thus still harbors dangerous resentments for her death.
Although the important factor here is Voldemort's lovelessness. Love does seem to be his one area of complete and utter ignorance. He overlooks quite a lot of how human psyche acts when it comes to caring emotions towards others. But then again he also does have a psychotically keen instinct for how to exploit people's loving emotions (baiting Harry with Sirius, and the Death Eaters' favorite method of coercion having been the capture and torture of family members).
So I don't know. Would Snape have thought he has to take a lover for appearance's sake? Was Pettigrew stationed at his house to report back on Snape's sex life or lack thereof, including whose name he whispers when he wanks? (Eww.)
In either case I don't think he canonically looks to have died a virgin, not because he can't stay celibate for 17 years after Lily's death (I think it is very likely -- even realistically likely -- that he has, because he was so devastated and hung up on his martyr mentality after that; he also became so antisocial that I imagine the teacher-era Snape would have regarded sex as too much interpersonal work to be worth the hassle) but because he once stepped back from his Lily love. Remember he couldn't choose Lily over his Slytherin friends when she told him it was them or her. So that was his choice, no matter how much he might have regretted it after the years to come. Then later years found him eagerly doing Voldemort's bidding; in other words, when he left school and joined the DEs, he was full of hope, if headed in the wrong direction, and full of vitality and ambition, looking forward to a life of fulfillment. Of course he would have had sex with people. He could have even fallen in love genuinely and taken a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Not that there would be anything wrong in interpreting Snape as having died a virgin... Some people do, you know, and not just ugly people, but mostly people who don't have that much interest in human-to-human sex (don't necessarily have to be completely asexual) and those who never like people around them enough to want to have sex with them. Or those whose social skills are so inadequate that they have a hard time getting to first base. Even men can be like that -- in fact, because of the inequality between the gendered norms (there's always men out there willing to sleep with any woman, whereas the same doesn't apply to your average women) it might even be likelier for men to be like that than women. So if Snape was like that and for financial or psychological reasons didn't decide to hire a sex worker, he may well have died a virgin and that's nothing to write home about. He doesn't have to be a virgin when he dies but then he doesn't have to not either, is what I'm trying to say here.
-raisin_gal
I think of Snape as being like them, only more emotionally messed up. In anything I've written about him, romantic partners make the first move and have to doggedly repeat their advances to get past his barriers. I've given him the possibility of relationships, but sadly, who in canon would have put that level of effort into being with him? Especially as a ruse to mollify Voldemort -- who would put him- or herself in that position? Even McGonagall, who had known him most of his life and who I hoped was at least his friend, turned out to have no concept of who he was.
As a young man, Snape was poor, with dubious prospects, which probably leaves out Death Eater dalliances. And, per JKR, Snape joined the Death Eaters hoping to impress Lily. If he was dealing on that level of delusion, he probably wasn't ready to visit a prostitute if that would dishonor his feelings for Lily or if he thought she could ever find out. He probably thought he still had a chance with her, James notwithstanding.
Given his later level of cover, it is unlikely he could ever let his guard down, even around a Muggle sex worker in an anonymous encounter. He could not afford to make himself vulnerable in any way. On top of this, there was the whole Beatrice thing he had with the memory of Lily. Who could ever measure up to that? Dante only married because his family arranged it when he was a child. Snape is totally Dante to me.
I'm probably the the lone voice, then, for "no relationships, died a virgin."
Every relationship I've been in was that way for me (the woman). I always made the first move. Sometimes I get annoyed that it apparently means no one has ever found me attractive enough to do the pursuing, but it makes sense if you think about it: it means the sort of men I am more compatible with are the ones who themselves want to be pursued. (Or are just shy, heh.)
In anything I've written about him, romantic partners make the first move and have to doggedly repeat their advances to get past his barriers.
I think that's pretty accurate/reasonable/plausible whatever.
EXACTLY. It drives me crazy that people always forget that part.
I have a hard time imagining Snape to have died a virgin. I just can't believe that he is the type of person who doesn't have too much interest in human-to-human sex. Doesn't seem to fit with his character at all, judging on his passionate ways and his focusing on other people. I also can't see him as someone who'd have hang ups about hiring a prostitute that are stronger than his horniness/curiosity.
So yeah, if he for some reason didn't manage to get laid, I'm reasonably sure he would have gone to a prostitute long before he realised Lily's life was in danger.
Oh, and the quote in my icon is canon! A pushing, thrusting young men... We do know that he could have had Trelawney!
*giggles* I think that argument wins. *goes off to think thoughts that are not all that appropriate for work*