[A handwritten letter delivered to Gackt's home in the dead of night]
It's been four months since I've seen you... I realized this today when I finally had a moment to turn on the television. You were giving an interview, talking about your home and they asked you who had been to visit. You said my name, and it occurred to me then that, that visit had been the last time we'd seen one another...
I walked out on you that day and I shouldn't have, but I didn't see any other way. You had reached out to touch my hair, something so simple and yet the look in your eyes weighed it with a heavy amount of emotion and it was bearing down on me in a way that I had to escape from. I couldn't possibly allow it to happen again, and I knew that if I didn't get up and leave you then, that I would be powerless to stop it.
I am married, I have a son. A life outside of my career. A very private life that is safe, one that I need to protect. I need to protect it not only from the media and the public eye, but from you as well. You could single handedly destroy everything that I have worked for, and do so with only that look in your eyes. It's a look that harkens to a part of me that only you have ever had access to, and a part of me that I have wanted to forget. It has had no place in my life, and yet every time that I have tried to push it away, it always seems to find it's way back in.
It scares me... scares me now because I miss you... and I regret that decision to leave you that day. I wanted the kiss that was to come next just as much as you did, which is why I left. I am sorry, I don't want to push you away anymore, I don't want my fears to keep me from you anymore. You mean too much to me... I care for you too much. I have decided that if you will take me back, I will be with you in any way you wish me to be. Fear be damned.