Roxy Muñoz (sticksandrox) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-11-29 21:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | #november 2017, roxy, roxy x spence, spence |
Who: Spence and Roxy
When: Sunday, Nov 19th, midday
Where: Spence’s apartment
Status: Complete
Church had gone fine, relatively normally, which Roxy was grateful for. Attendance seemed down a bit. She’d noticed that Gavin and Charlie Harris had sat very close together, and that was a nice little sign of ... something. Roxy sat with Aaron and Mila and let her mind wander while the priest did his thing up at the front of the pews. Wednesday had been ... strange. She’d felt bold and a little reckless, looking back. Letting Spence just pick her up and take her to ice cream had been kind of risky, but nobody had noticed, as far as she knew. Going to see him at home was probably smarter, as long as she parked in an inconspicuous spot. Roxy needed to make some friends in Castle View so she had an excuse to be there.
She’d told Mila she had some errands to do after church to avoid an invite for coffee or something, and when service was over, Roxy headed to her car. She’d come prepared, with good combs and shears and even the hair clippers that Caden used to keep his head buzzed down. She had dug around in the back of the closet too and found a few ties that he would never know were missing. If Spence had a nice shirt, at least, maybe she could save him a bit of money. She found herself nervous as she drove over to the apartments, and Roxy made sure to park at another building, looking around a lot before she climbed out with the bag and walked to Spence’s door. Wetting her lips and fussing a bit with her own hair, she knocked. At least she looked cute in her church clothes, a dress on under her coat and boots that came up over her calves. Not that it should matter ... but it kind of did.
Spence sort of felt like he was getting ready for a date, which was ridiculous of course, given Roxy had a serious boyfriend at the moment. But the anticipation was still there in the pit of his stomach and it was a little frustrating that he had nothing to do to occupy his time before she showed up. His apartment was already clean and he'd already showered. He killed time by watching a bit of television, but found himself too restless to pay much attention to it. The minutes seemed to tick by slowly, but even when Roxy finally knocked at his door, Spence felt completely unprepared for some reason. Still, he was glad to see her when he opened the door and Spence smiled instantly. "Hey. You look great." Was that an appropriate thing to say? Even if it wasn't, he didn't care. She did look great. Beautiful even. "Come in. The place is... uh, boring? But..." Spence stepped out of the way so she could step inside. "How was church?"
Roxy’s stomach had started fluttering a bit once she’d knocked, and it twisted in a happy way when Spence answered the door. She smiled back at him automatically, probably too brightly, but it was too late now. He looked good to her too, even without much effort. “Thanks. Boring is okay,” Roxy assured him as she walked in. She glanced around the apartment -- he was right, it was pretty sparse. Clean though, and it didn’t smell bad or anything, so she knew he was at least keeping up with housework. Roxy unshouldered her bag and her purse and set them down so she could take her coat off. “Oh it was fine,” she said with a shrug. “The usual sort of stuff.” She almost mentioned that she thought Gavin had a girlfriend now, which was highly unusual, but Roxy didn’t want to bring up the Lucases, not right away. “How’s your day been?”
"Same. Usual stuff. A lot of sitting around," Spence said with a grin. He was too focused on looking at her that Spence nearly forgot the whole reason why she was there. He cleared his throat and motioned down the hall. "We can set up in the bathroom, if you want. Or I can just put a chair in the kitchen. Whichever is easiest..." He was used to going to a barber shop and just plopping down in a chair to get a trim. "You want some coffee first? Something to eat. I've got... uh... pop tarts." He hadn't gone grocery shopping in awhile and he mentally kicked himself for not thinking to go earlier when he was lounging around like a bum.
Roxy thought the kitchen was probably a safer, less intimate place to be, but it didn’t have the big mirror that the bathroom would. Roxy did want to be in closer quarters with him, but ugh, hadn’t she tempted fate enough? “I already ate,” she told him with a soft laugh. Her stomach felt too fluttery and stupid for her to want to put more food into it anyway. “Coffee would be good, though. We can take it into the bathroom? Wherever you’re most comfortable ... if you wanna check my work in a mirror in real time, bathroom might be best.” Roxy gave him a little grin, picking her bag up again to carry with her.
"I trust your work, but that's fine," Spence said with a smile. He turned to head into the small kitchen to get a pot of coffee going. He wasn't really thinking about close quarters with Roxy, given she was in his apartment alone. Everything felt like close quarters now, though he wasn't complaining. "How have things been the last few days?" he asked her while getting the coffee brewing. "Big plans for Thanksgiving?" He would be home with his family, as per usual on the big holidays. He was actually looking forward to it this year, not having to drive from Virginia and back. They didn't get a lot of family meals, mostly because his dad was always out of town.
Roxy followed along and set her bag down on the kitchen table. She unzipped it and dug around a second until she found the ties, then started to pull them out while Spence messed with the coffee maker. “They’ve been okay, yeah,” she answered absently. “Pretty normal. But yeah, we’re actually doing it at our house this year. Gavin is taking the kids to Charlie Harris’s house -- which I guess means they’re dating now? Which is weird just by itself, but good for him. So Aaron and Mila are going to come over and I’ll cook for all of us. How ‘bout you? Just eating with the family?” It all sounded so light and domestic, and it was a little surreal to talk to him about Caden and the other Lucases so casually.
"Is t-that a good thing? Gavin dating someone?" He didn't know much about Gavin Lucas beyond what everyone else knew in town. Dropped out of high school, knocked up his girlfriend. Ran a bar. The Lucas family had a reputation for being assholes, and Spence knew that at least one of them earned that rep. He poured the water into the coffee machine and hit the brew button before wandering over to where Roxy was holding a bunch of ties. "But yeah, just going to Overlook for dinner with the family. You're going to cook an entire Thanksgiving meal a-alone? Seems like a lot of work. Do you have help?" No, he wasn't going to offer to help, for obvious reasons, but he couldn't imagine her jerky boyfriend lifting a hand to do it either.
“I don’t even know,” Roxy answered the first question with a little laugh. “I mean ... yes? He’s going to be terrible at it, he was with the same woman from age fifteen to his thirties, but he really needs some female companionship who isn’t batshit insane, so I’m gonna go with yes.” Hopefully Charlie would be patient enough to help him through what would surely be a rocky start. And then patient enough to learn to decipher Gavin’s grunts. Roxy waved off Spence’s concern about her being the sole chef. “I’m only cooking for four, so it won’t be too bad,” she said. “I like doing it. I can have Mila like ... mash the potatoes or butter bread or something, she’s pretty much useless in the kitchen.” She chuckled. Aaron and Caden would probably just watch football, and that was fine. Roxy didn’t need them underfoot. She held the few ties up for Spence to see. “I grabbed these from the closet ... do you want to use one for tomorrow? Do you have a shirt that could match? Just so you won’t have to shop for one ... not like you’re getting a desk job, right?”
Spence's brows rose at her admittance that Gavin Lucas would be terrible at having a girlfriend. It didn't seem to be the same kind of terrible that Caden Lucas was at relationships, but still. It just sounded like maybe the whole family was toxic and he had the overwhelming urge to tell Roxy she deserved better. He was distracted a bit when Roxy held up the ties for him and there was a slightly weird feeling in his chest as he stared at them. "I can just buy one," he told her with a small smile, not wanting to tell her that he wasn't sure he wanted to wear her abusive boyfriend's ties to a job interview. Or anywhere. That was probably mean and he didn't want her to leave. "I do need a shirt, though. I've seen those places that have like, the shirt and tie combo, where it all matches. Figure we can go find one when the haircut is done. Is that okay?"
Roxy had considered that was a possibility already, so she just shrugged it off. It was dangerous to go shopping with him, and while she’d been recklessly bold on Wednesday, Roxy wasn’t feeling so sure of herself today. She could get over it though, maybe Spence wouldn’t mind driving a bit out of their way so nobody nosy spotted them. “Sure, of course,” she said, giving Spence a smile. “Just a thought I had before I ran out the door.” She stuffed the ties back into a pocket of the bag, then lifted it again. “Where’s your bathroom?” She could at least set up while the coffee brewed. And pee, that needed to happen too.
"Uh, actually, right around the corner here." He walked out of the kitchen and pointed to the bathroom door. Across from that was his bedroom. It was a small apartment, but it worked for him. Spence was hoping she wasn't offended that he didn't want to use the ties she had brought from home. It was a bit of a touchy subject probably and he didn't really want to talk about, or be reminded of Caden in any way. Selfish of him, sure, but today he couldn't quite help but be selfish. "I'll pour you some coffee. How do you like it?"
In hindsight, it was probably a dumb thing for her to do, but Roxy had done it anyway, so whatever. She understood why Spence said no, and she wasn’t super eager to give Caden any thought this afternoon either. She probably should, but she didn’t want to. She was just there doing a favor for a friend, that was all. Like people who were good friends did. “Thanks,” she said as she headed toward where he pointed. “Cream and sugar, lots of both.” Roxy gave Spence a rueful little smile, then stepped into the bathroom and quietly shut the door behind herself.
Spence nodded and watched her go, waiting until he heard the door shut before he exhaled and returned to the kitchen. Keeping himself busy, he grabbed two coffee mugs, both of which his mom had given him, and set them on the counter. The coffee was ready by the time Roxy finished up and Spence hoped he had added plenty of sugar and cream, and not too much of either. He wondered if he ought to have been feeling nervous or something, but he didn't. Whatever that feeling was in his stomach, it wasn't nerves. It was nice feeling, actually. It made him want to do things he probably shouldn't be doing.
Roxy did her business, washed her hands, and laid out the stuff for when she cut Spence’s hair. The bathroom was roomy enough to bring a chair in to put in front of the mirror, and she went ahead and moved the bath mats out of the way. She thought about taking her boots off too, since she might be there a little while, but Roxy didn’t know if that would be crossing the line into too comfortable. She walked back into the kitchen and smiled a bit. The coffee smelled good and seeing Spence gave her another nice little jolt in her stomach. “Thanks,” she said as she took her mug from him. She sipped it and hummed appreciatively. “So how’s the family and everything?” she asked after a beat. “I heard the Wolves lost that last game, did Greg take it okay?”
For a split second Spence wondered if Roxy was in the bathroom talking herself out of staying. She didn't seem to mind spending time with him, but he was sure that her boyfriend was somewhere in the back of her mind. But Roxy seemed happy enough when she emerged and Spence relaxed a bit, taking a sip of his own coffee. The mention of Greg made him smile a bit. "Yeah, I think he took it okay. Bummed, obviously, but it's not the end of the world. Apparently he's got a crush or something on his best friend's sister, so I think he was a bit preoccupied with that. I really should ask him how that's going. Maybe when I see him on Thanksgiving. By then he might have moved on to another girl, who knows. Teenage boys, right?"
Roxy gave a light laugh and rolled her eyes affectionately. She hadn’t had much real contact with Greg Wheeler since he’d been a little kid, but she’d always been fond of him. A sweet and wild boy with boundless energy. “Wouldn’t surprise me,” she agreed with a little grin, lifting her coffee cup again. “But glad he had a girl on the brain to be a nice distraction, at least. They’re good for that.” Roxy didn’t know who Greg’s best friend was, but she hoped that didn’t cause any drama between them. Teenagers were so dramatic. She was tempted to talk about Jasper, as the only other teenage boy she really knew, but that was too close to Caden, so Roxy pushed that idea aside. “I bet your mom’s happy to have you home, huh?”
"Yeah, I think so. I hope so?" Spence wrinkled his nose in slight confusion before he chuckled. "She's been checking up on me a lot. Kind of reminding me why I moved in the first place." He was joking, of course. Mostly. Sometimes his family seemed to forget that he might have been dealing with injuries, but he was still capable of taking care of himself. Spence didn't want to be seen as some invalid because his arm was shit and he stuttered. "Honestly, I'm still t-trying to adjust to this p-place. Just... feels like I'm seventeen again sometimes. Ghosts." He sipped his coffee again and set it down on the counter. "So, haircut?"
Roxy could intellectually understand annoying, overbearing parents. She just couldn’t personally relate to it. She spoke to her mother maybe twice a month, and even though they all technically lived within reasonable driving distance from one another, she only saw her whole family a few times a year. It was a little sad, maybe, but that was how it was. It made her both happy for and jealous of people with close families. Or even somewhat overbearing families. A little chill ran up Roxy’s spine at Spence’s choice of words -- ‘ghosts.’ She thought about the child’s voice in the tunnel, haunting Mila, and had to suppress a shiver. She offered Spence a nod and a smile instead. “Haircut,” she agreed, turning to head back to the bathroom. “Grab a chair.”
It would probably be easy to take 'ghosts' metaphorically, though he meant it in every way one could possibly interpret it. He grabbed one of the wooden chairs from the small kitchen table his mom had given him when he moved in and carried it by the back toward the bathroom. It looked like Roxy had a lot of stuff already set up so he placed the chair in the middle of the bathroom floor, hoping she had room to move around comfortably. "I washed it this morning," he told her, running a hand through his hair. "But I can get it wet again, if that helps." He was just delaying things, he knew, though he figured it was just to keep her here a bit longer. Stupid of him, yes, but Spence didn't really care in that moment. All he really wanted to do was have her hands in his hair and he was self aware enough to admit it.
Roxy barely resisted an affectionate eyeroll. Boys. Spence’s hair was thick and downright shaggy now, so of course she needed it wet. She was glad that he’d washed it, though if she’d had a proper sink, that wasn’t something she would’ve minded doing either. Really, she just wanted to touch him much more than she had any good reason to do. Probably fucked up, but there were a lot of things in her life that fell into that category. “Yeah, get it damp for me, please,” Roxy told him, hunting down a towel that would cover his shoulders. She shook it out and set it down, then started poking around in her phone to find a good playlist while she waited.
His sink was too small to stick his head under the faucet, so he walked over to the shower and turned it on. Spence had replaced the stationary showerhead with a detachable one when he'd moved in, so he grabbed it once the water had warmed up and leaned into the shower to get his hair wet. It didn't take long but he managed to get spots of his shirt and jeans damp in the process. Spence might have just whipped his shirt off if it had been anyone but Roxy standing there. And it was only because she had Caden that he didn't. Turning off the water, Spence grabbed a nearby towel to dry his hair well enough as not to drip everywhere. "Better?" he asked, his hair hanging comically in front of his face.
Roxy looked up at him and snickered. “You look like you should be fronting some emo band or something,” she told him, amused. “You just need a bad black dye job.” She straightened up from where she’d been leaning on the counter and gestured for Spence to sit down. Once he’d obeyed, Roxy draped the towel over his chest and shoulders and tucked it between his back and the chair. She picked up the comb she’d brought and started to work the tangles out while The Black Keys played out of her phone speaker. “So are you nervous about tomorrow?” she asked, glancing at his face in the mirror. “Job interviews suck.”
"I'm not pale enough to be emo of any kind," Spence said with a laugh. He pushed the hair from his face and sat down, well aware that his mom would be thrilled with a haircut. And a shave. She would have her 'boy' back. Exhaling softly when Roxy began to comb his hair, Spence sort of wished he wasn't facing the sink and the mirror. Yes, he liked looking at her, but he didn't want to close his eyes and give away how nice it felt to have her fingers in his hair. "Nah, not nervous," he admitted, gaze ticking to hers in the mirror. "I've b-been through worse than job interviews. These kind of jobs, they just want to make s-sure I've got experience and I'll show up. Being a veteran doesn't hurt." He shrugged softly as not to disturb the combing. "Honestly, I'd probably still be in the Marines if I hadn’t gotten hurt. Life was easier, I think.”
Of course he’d been through worse, he’d been to fucking war. Maybe it made her morbid, but it was the kind of thing that Roxy wanted to ask questions about. She just knew that she really couldn’t. From what she’d always heard, most vets didn’t want to discuss their time at war. Spence had gotten hurt, to boot, so it was a subject she wanted to steer away from. Looking more at his hair than his reflection, Roxy gave a soft little smile. “I bet it was,” she murmured. She just barely bit her tongue on saying she was glad he was back though. She wasn’t glad he’d gotten hurt, of course, but seeing him again had shaken something loose inside of her that had felt stuck for a long time. Roxy just had to figure out what to do with it now. Once she’d gotten his hair all combed out, she glanced up at him again. “Okay, so ... how short would be too short? Do I have full artistic license here?”
"Uh, yeah, I trust you. Just... no buzz cuts," he said with a soft laugh. "Something manageable? I'd have to cut it when I started working anyway, so might as well go for it." If he thought she would fuck up his hair he would have just waited for the barber shop to open. But Roxy was skilled in a lot of things, plus he kind of didn't care if she did mess things up, because her hands in his hair felt really good at the moment. That was probably stupid of him, but what else was new? "When's the last time you cut someone's hair?"
Roxy had no desire to give him a buzz cut, but the fact that he said that made her smirk a little. “What, you got a funny shaped head or something?” she teased, running her fingers through his damp hair in a way that wasn't strictly necessary. It was so stupidly tempting to grip onto those strands, pull his head back, and kiss the hell out of him. Those kinds of crazy thoughts were going to get her in trouble, but damn if they didn’t feel nice to have. “It’s been a few years,” Roxy admitted with a little laugh. “But I used to do it for my brothers all the time, so ... just like riding a bike, right?” She moved directly behind Spence and nudged his head to bend it forward a bit. Using the comb as well, Roxy started taking some of the length off. That part was easy.
Spence barked out a small laugh. "The funniest," he said. "Even my commanding officers asked me to wear a hat whenever they saw me." He was teasing, of course, but it helped relax him. He exhaled softly and closed his eyes before letting his head fall forward like she indicated. "I don't know. At least if you crash your bike you can get back up and try again. If you mess up hair, it's messed up for quite some time, right? Not that I'd really care, but still. It's easier for me to just chop it all off than it would be if I was trying to cut your hair." He tried not to but a soft sigh escaped his lips as she began to clip some of the hair away.
She laughed a bit at that mental image, just a bunch of broad-shouldered men in uniform giving Spence’s weird head the side-eye. It didn’t feel misshapen under her fingers or anything, and she found herself wondering what kind of head injury he’d actually gotten overseas. “That’s when the buzzcut comes in handy. But I promise your head will be well-hidden when I’m done,” Roxy assured him with amusement. She kept combing and trimming, the motions quickly feeling natural to her again. Roxy was thinking he would look really nice with it short and then some extra length on the top to make artfully messy. She glanced at him in the mirror again. “Are you shaving this too?” she asked, fingers moving to brush through the beard on his jaw for a second.
Spence was enjoying the haircut a hell of a lot more with Roxy holding the shears than if he had gone to a stranger. Her fingers were gentler and he imagined himself falling asleep as she stroked his hair. It wouldn't have been the first time. Her question about his beard startled him, mostly because he hadn't expected her to actually touch it. His skin tingled and it felt as though his entire face caught on fire. But he smiled to cover up his body's reaction. "I hadn't decided yet. I feel like it keeps people from recognizing who I am and asking questions. Stupid, I know. What do you think I should do?"
That sounded like a legit reason to have a beard, and Roxy felt a brief flash of guilt that she wanted him to shave it. It was probably just stupid nostalgia -- she’d known him best as a fresh-faced young man, handsome with a wicked smile that always made her heart beat a little faster. They were both different people now, that was just how life went. “You could trim it down at least,” she suggested as an internal compromise. “Just a thought.” It would match his hair better if it was shorter, neater. Roxy kept snipping away, starting to get the shape in the back before she moved to start trimming down the side of his head. She nudged his head up straight again, her stomach bumping warmly against Spence’s shoulder.
Spence scratched his fingers along the facial hair at his jaw. "I could do that," he said. "I guess it wouldn't make a good impression to show up looking like a mountain man." He lifted his head when she nudged him and grinned at her in the mirror. "It's lookin' good though. You might actually get to see my face if I don't chicken out." It was much easier to keep the conversation light and easy going than to delve into anything deeper. It also helped distract him from the fact that it felt really nice, having Roxy's hands in his hair, and her body so close to his. He could smell her perfume. Was it perfume? Maybe her body wash. Either way, he liked it and it was all Spence could do not to squirm in his seat.
Roxy happened to like the way Spence smelled too. It was clean and masculine and different than Caden, which part of her really appreciated. “I mean, they might not care, since it’s a maintenance job, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your face,” she told him, her tone light and warm. “You should show more of it.” Roxy thought there were probably plenty of eligible single ladies in town who would be all over Spence if he put a little effort in and got out more. Not that she wanted to think about that, because it gave her a bad, heavy feeling in her stomach. Which wasn’t fair at all. She tried to push all those thoughts aside and keep snipping, moving around to Spence’s other side after a moment.
Spence shrugged and made a non-committal sound. "I dunno. It's one of those things... if I look the way I did before I went to college, then I'm... that person again. I put way too much thought into these things. It's just a beard." He might have stood then to shave it off, but he didn't want to interrupt Roxy and risk needing a buzzed head due to a wayward snip of the scissors. "There's nothing wrong with your face either," he added with a grin, glancing up at her. "Since we're on the subject." He was flirting again, which he knew was wrong, but it seemed near impossible, given the circumstances. Besides, it wasn't like anyone was around to see it.
Roxy’s brows lifted a bit at the first part of what he said, and she glanced at him in the mirror but didn’t comment. She happened to like the person he’d been before he’d gone to college. That was the one she’d been in love with. But if Spence didn’t want to be that guy anymore, she could relate to an appearance change. Maybe it was best for them to both keep their distance from the past. His compliment made her smile and give a soft huff, but it tugged at something melancholy in her chest at the same time. Spence ought to see her face sometimes when Caden was finished with it, there was often plenty wrong with it then. “Thanks, I try to keep it presentable,” she murmured. “It’s a challenge some days. Not to mention the rest of me.” Roxy chuckled.
Spence had changed quite a bit from who he had been before going to college, and then dropping out. It was hard to reconcile who he was then to who he was now. He wasn't entirely sure Roxy would even prefer this version of himself if she got to know him better. He was doing his best to keep the darker part of who he was hidden. Incredulous at her statement, Spence looked up at her. "I highly doubt that. The challenge, I mean. You always made looking good look effortless. I don't think that's changed."
It was sweet of him to say, though Roxy knew she was quite a bit heavier than she’d been in high school. Older, with more on her shoulders. “Why thank you,” she said to Spence, keeping her voice light and airy. It was easier and it felt better to turn it into a flirt than to take it seriously. “It definitely takes effort, but that’s what all of womankind wants you guys to think.” Smirking, she glanced at Spence’s reflection, then went back to trimming the hair around his ear. Roxy was trying not to think about how nice it felt to touch him this much, in a way that felt kind of intimate.
"I don't believe you, but okay," Spence said with a grin. He didn't want to push it and make her feel uncomfortable, and he realized that maybe trying to flirt with her was a bad idea. The last thing he wanted to do was have her regret ever coming over. Spence shifted a bit on the chair before brushing off some of the clipped hair from his lap. "My mom is going to be thrilled with you," he told her. "She's been on my case about a haircut for months. Once I get a job, she won't have much else to complain about."
Roxy was definitely not oblivious to the compliments between the lines, but it was easier to joke about global makeup conspiracies. She wanted to be flirting with him much harder, and that was a bad thing that she really ought to get a handle on ... fuck. Roxy felt a wave of frustration that wasn’t aimed at Spence, it just was. She felt so trapped all of the sudden. There was no way any of this could end well, so she really ought to just walk out the door and never look back. Spence’s hair felt soft and good between her fingers, and his smile was so adorable and she could feel the warmth of his body, and it was all too tempting to crawl into his lap. She kept trimming instead, moving her scissors to the top of Spence’s head now to tame it. “She’ll find something else, I’m sure,” she said, trying to keep her mind on the conversation. “Tell her I accept payment in treats though, she always made the best cookies.”
He knew his mom's 'complaints' came from a good place. It hadn't been easy for her when he joined the Marines, and when he was stationed overseas and then came home injured. His decision to live in Virginia hadn't helped matters much. Now that he was home, she was trying not to smother him, though she was certainly opinionated about his appearance and choices. It was exasperating, though amusing at the same time. "I'll tell her," he said with a grin. "Expect a few dozen cookies to show up at your door. It's looking good though. The hair." Spence motioned vaguely to his head. "Maybe I won't miss my mountain man look so much..."
Part of Roxy wanted to rush to tell him not to tell his mother, because she really didn’t need Mrs. Wheeler showing up with a cookie tin and making Caden suspicious. In spite of that unpleasant jolt in her stomach, she didn’t think any of this was serious. Except maybe the compliment, because Spence’s hair was turning out pretty well. She kept snipping and combing, the hair pile on the linoleum floor growing as she went. “You’re gonna look amazing,” she told Spence with confidence. “And just have all the eligible bachelorettes in Point Pleasant falling all over you.” She smirked a little. “I’m surprised you don’t have a line outside your door already, honestly.”
"They can't see my face," he reminded her with a grin. "I'm just the local Yeti walkin' around town. That's a very specific trait to look for in a guy, and I'm not e-entirely sure there are any women in town who would put that on their eHarmony application." He wasn't looking for a girlfriend, but he didn't mind joking about it. In any case, Point Pleasant wasn't exactly overflowing with eligible bachelorettes as Roxy put it. "N-Not that I want to know if there are, 'cause that's just weird."
Roxy let out a little snicker. “Everybody’s got a kink, you never know,” she murmured with a smirk. “There’s yeti porn out there, I’m sure of it, and it’s gotta be for somebody.” She moved around in front of Spence and bent down to his face level, glancing right to left to make sure she’d cut everything evenly. Roxy did her best to ignore how close it put them, and how much she wanted to kiss him, in spite of the beard. She was also suddenly aware of just how much cleavage that dress showed when she leaned down that way. Oops. But not too much oops.
Spence wrinkled his nose. "Oh god, let's not talk about yeti porn, please." It probably did exist but he really didn't want to think about it. Or any of the other weird stuff out there. Yeti porn seemed to vanish from his mind as soon as Roxy leaned down to check his hair. He was also aware of the close proximity, but it didn't make him uncomfortable. She smelled amazing. "How's it look?" he murmured, doing his very best not to peer down her dress like a creep.
It was so, so stupid, but so, so tempting just to grab his head and shove his face into her chest, and Roxy felt dangerously close to doing it. It was just a restless feeling of needing something to happen, something to throw a bomb into her life and actually change things. ... but that was nuts and Spence didn’t deserve being literally shoved into the middle of her bullshit. Roxy straightened up and gave him a little smile that didn’t quite reach the wistfulness in her eyes. “It looks good,” she murmured back. She ran her fingers through the damp top to muss it up a little, then moved so Spence could see the mirror again. “What do you think?”
His fingers twitched in his lap, because he wanted to grab her waist and pull her back to him. Admittedly, he missed having a connection with someone else, touching someone and feeling them close. Roxy was familiar to him, warm and comforting. Knowing what he knew about her boyfriend now, he both wanted to grab her and kiss her and also... not. Because he didn't want to cause her trouble. It took him a moment to refocus and he stared at himself in the mirror for a few seconds before he grinned. "You did a great job. Thanks." He moved to stand, running his hands through his hair. "God, that f-feels weird. But good. Once I shave I'm not going to recognize myself. You m-mind if I do that real quick?"
Even through the beard, that smile made the inside of Roxy’s chest tingle a little bit. God, he was so handsome. And good-hearted. At least he always had been. She didn’t know what had broken up Spence’s previous engagement, but that woman missed out, if you asked Roxy. Not that anybody had. Her own smile was a bit warmer as she moved behind him to pull the towel off of his shoulders. “It’s your bathroom, go for it,” she told him lightly. Roxy gently shook the towel out off to one side, then started for the door. “Where’s your broom? I’m assuming you have one in this bachelor pad, right?” Roxy grinned at him a little.
Scratching his fingers through his facial hair, Spence turned towards Roxy and shook his head. "I have one, yeah, but you're not going to clean up the m-mess. I'll do that. I've got drinks and stuff in the fridge though, if you want to grab one and relax. I'll make quick work of this disaster," he told her, motioning to his beard. "Then we can go hunt down a decent shirt and tie for me, if you're still willing." He hoped she was. Spence was well aware that he could do all of this stuff for himself, but it was nice spending time with her, and maybe he was trying to draw it out for as long as he could.
Roxy’s lips pursed and she almost protested for a second. But she wouldn’t have wanted anybody else cleaning up her house either -- except for maybe Caden, but that was something he just didn’t do -- so she relented. “Suit yourself,” she said with a little grin. “But yeah I’m pretty much always willing to shop, so ... you want anything from the kitchen?” Part of her kind of wanted to linger around and watch him shave, which seemed like a weird impulse, but it was definitely there. But that was probably too intimate, and she needed to inject some distance here somewhere, ugh.
"Uh... probably, but I'll grab something in a few," he told her, reaching over to open the cabinet under the sink to search for the shave gel he had bought when he first moved home. Needless to say, he hadn't used much of it. "Just make yourself at home. I promise I won't take too long." When she disappeared from the room Spence tried to hold true to his promise. But he had to trim his beard first and then shave it, and admittedly, it took a while, if only because he didn't want to cut himself. When he finally finished, the sink was a mess, like the floor, but his face was smooth and pink. He tried not to cringe at the sight of himself. It wasn't like he was horrible to look at. But... it just felt strange to be clean shaven again, after so long. He dried his face off and then tried to clean up the sink as best he could before he just tossed the towel into the hamper. He had kept Roxy waiting too long as it was.
Spence left the bathroom and found her, looking sheepish as he patted his bare cheek. "I look ten years younger. Which is going to suck when they start carding me for beer again."
Since he wouldn’t let her clean up the bathroom and getting a bottle of water out only took a minute or so, Roxy ended up straightening a few things in the kitchen and unloading Spence’s dishwasher. There wasn’t much in there, but it was clean, and she took her time finding the right spots for things. It made her want to rearrange his cabinets too, but she managed to resist that urge. She was just picking up her phone to scroll through something when Spence appeared. Roxy looked up and her breath stopped for a several heartbeats. The clean shave and the haircut had taken more than ten years off to her eyes, and suddenly she was in high school all over again, getting weak-kneed when Spence Wheeler smiled at her. How the hell was she supposed to keep her head on straight when her body reacted to him so strongly?
Roxy realized she was just gaping at him, and felt her cheeks flush. She huffed out a laugh and tucked some hair behind one ear, dragging her gaze away. “It looks good,” she said, clearing her throat. “I’d definitely card you. You uh ... ready to go shop?”
He wasn't sure about it, but Spence figured he could always grow the beard back. Maybe once he got the job, assuming he got it, he could just stop shaving again. No one cared about a scruffy maintenance guy. "I think I'm ready," he told her, dropping his hand away from his face. He gave her a bit of a lopsided smile, feeling stupid and silly at the same time. "Though I kinda don't want to go. It's been nice having you to myself for awhile." He wasn't entirely sure she would be able to relax out in public, even if they drove out of town. They had enjoyed each other's company the other day, but there had still been a bit of tension there, with Roxy no doubt wondering if anyone would see them talking.
It had been nice, and Roxy knew she would definitely be on guard out in the world, even if they drove for a while before they went shopping. Caden was working, so he wouldn’t be right around the corner, and he didn’t actually have a lot of friends they might run into, but ... still. It was hard not to feel like his eyes were on the back of her head twenty-four-seven. That cute sheepish look on Spence’s face and the way he was just standing there, looking like that made her want to launch herself into his arms, kiss him desperately, and strongly suggest they just run away together. “I kinda don’t want to go either,” Roxy admitted softly, giving him a wistful little smile. “It’s just ... been really good. To see you again. In general. I don’t, uh, really know ... I dunno.” She made herself shut up and gave a small, awkward laugh and shook her head. Goddammit.
"Yeah. I know." He chuckled and shrugged softly, because he understood what she was trying to say. He did need a shirt and tie and all that, but he hadn't been lying that he kind of wished they didn't have to go anywhere. The alternative was probably far more dangerous, and Spence didn't want to put Roxy in a spot where she would get hurt, but he also hated that it was a possibility. He sighed, aware that they should just go and have some fun and be friends, but it was difficult for him to keep his mouth shut at the moment. "What're you doing with that guy? Do you love him?" It was an intrusive question and not at all his business, but Spence didn't care in the moment. He really didn't.
Oh God. He would have to ask her that directly, wouldn’t he? Was she really that transparent? Maybe they both were. Maybe Mila had been right. Roxy made a helpless little noise before she could help herself and briefly covered her face with her hands. “Yes,” she said as she let them drop again, though it came out a bit more questioning than she meant for it to. “I don’t ... I used to, at least. Love him. He just ... makes it hard sometimes.” That didn’t really answer why she was still with Caden, not really, but Roxy wasn’t sure she had those answers anymore. Her throat felt thick all of the sudden, and her expression was pained as she looked at Spence. “I don’t know anymore, I was just ... things have been really confusing lately.”
Spence wondered if he had ever made it hard for her to love him. Not that he'd ever been an abusive asshole, but still. His hand moved to his jaw where he was going to scratch, but he remembered he had shaved everything off so he dropped it to this side. "I don't mean to confuse anything for you, if any of that is my fault. I guess I'm feeling a little confused too, and I don't want to overstep anything, but it's hard sometimes." The smart thing to do would be to put distance between them again so she wouldn't be so conflicted, but at the same time, he didn't really want to do that. Because Caden was a jerk and not right for her, and it killed him that she didn't see that.
Roxy’s heart was beating too hard, but she couldn’t bring herself to really move from where she was standing. Even about this, even witnessing how scared she’d been about Caden finding out they’d spent any time together at all, Spence was being sweet and considerate and concerned about her. It was both baffling and made her want to cry with relief. Somebody cared. Had Caden ever uttered the words ‘I don’t mean to’ or ‘my fault’ in a conversation about feelings? Did he ever talk about feelings with her, beyond getting pissed that she had them?
Roxy’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times as she groped around for words, but nothing good or reassuring was coming to mind. “I never stopping having feelings for you,” she blurted out finally. “I loved you so much and then you were gone and I know you had life to live and things to do and you were engaged and all, but ... but you were the only man in my life who was ever good to me and you still are, and how fucking pathetic is that?” Tears had welled up in her eyes and Roxy swiped at them impatiently. “And now you’re back and look at you, and I just wanna kiss you so bad all the time, but I can’t do that to you, Spence. I can’t. I’m so f-fucking scared, I can’t.”
It wasn't pathetic, but it was sad. And not sad in a pitiful way, but sad that someone like Caden couldn't see how good he had it. Even though he knew he shouldn't, Spence walked over to her, closing the distance between them, though he was careful not to invade her space too much. "I don't want you to be unhappy," Spence murmured. "Either because of me, or b-because of him. If you want me to leave you alone, I will. I just h-hate that you're miserable and I can't do anything about it." He could probably kick Caden's ass, which is what he really wanted to do, but Spence knew that would only make things worse for Roxy, and he was trying not to do that.
Roxy had been insisting she was happy for so many years, it had been a difficult pill to swallow to admit to herself that she wasn’t. She was the opposite of happy. She and Caden did have some good times here and there but they were scattered amongst so much bad. Her life had been so unhappy in general that it seemed normal, when she knew it wasn’t. Things could be better. Roxy would just have to go through hell to get there. Her heart jumped a bit when Spence moved in closer, and Roxy’s hands moved to clutch his forearms, though whether it was to keep her distance or pull him in or just to hang on, she didn’t know. She shook her head -- no, she didn’t want him to leave her alone, that wouldn’t help, not anymore. “Do you even want me again?” she asked in a low murmur, her eyes ticking between his. She knew she probably looked desperate and vulnerable and she hated it, but Roxy couldn’t help it. She couldn’t just blow up her life and put people in danger for nothing.
Spence did want her, but he didn't want that to be the only reason Roxy would walk away from such a terrible relationship. He wished she could just do it, for herself. "I like being with you," Spence told her. "I always have. B-But I'm not the same person I was in high school. I can't p-promise you anything, or tell you that you'll even like who I am now. I can't be the only reason you leave him. You need to do it for yourself too. But I'll be here for you, if you want me to be. I want to be." He hoped any of that made sense. It felt like a jumble on his lips, and he hoped she understood what he was trying to say. He couldn't always express himself the way he used to, and it could prove to be frustrating from time to time, in moments like this one.
A stupid, crazy laugh bubbled up in Roxy’s throat but she managed to swallow it down before it escaped. She could say those exact same words back to him about not being the same person in high school. Who was? They’d just been kids. But even beyond that, Roxy was damaged and she knew it. Her family had started the process of fucking her up, and Caden Lucas had just continued it. What if she left Caden -- and survived, which wasn’t a given -- and then Spence decided he didn’t actually like the person she was now? Where would she go? She would have to leave, move somewhere else, start over ... but what good was the alternative? She was already tired all the time of her life, things with Caden weren’t getting any better and she knew he would never go to therapy or anything with her to try and fix what was broken.
Spence’s words made sense to her. She had to do it for herself. She’d just been lacking the motivation, since she didn’t think much of herself. Everyone might see it as her just jumping from one man to another, but Spence coming back to town had been the first time Roxy had even entertained the thought of having something else. Living a different way, with a different person. And he was just looking at her so earnestly ... fuck. Roxy felt like there were so many words backed up in her throat and chest, in danger of making her burst. They were all tangled together and awful, and instead of launching into another stupid ramble, Roxy pulled Spence in closer. She tilted her face up and kissed him so she didn’t explode, firm and more than a little needy.
Spence wasn't going to pull away if she wanted to kiss him, because he wanted to kiss her too. It wasn't exactly an answer to all of this, but it wasn't like this stuff was ideal and easily fixed. Life was hard and complicated, especially love. He kissed her back without hesitation, one hand lifting to her face, the other resting lightly on her waist in case she wanted to pull back or stop. They might have become different people over the years, but her lips still tasted the same as they had in high school. Firm and delicious. Some part of him felt like he had to enjoy this now, take as much as he could get, because once she left, that could be it. It was a horrible thing to think, but he knew how these things could go.
It was the first time Roxy had done anything even close to cheating on Caden, and she was feeling a very strange mix of emotions. Terror, overwhelming desire, gratitude that Spence was kissing her back, a deep sadness, but exhilaration because it felt so damn good to kiss him. Their mouths fit together as well as they ever had, and the way he touched her face made her melt inside. There was a sweetness there that she never felt with Caden. One thing that Roxy knew, in a clear spot in her mind, was that this was the beginning of the end. Whatever happened, things had to change in her life. Wanting to linger in it herself, she slipped one arm around Spence to draw him in closer, and parted her lips for a deeper taste of him.
It did feel good. Beyond good, even. It had been a long time since he had kissed a woman, even longer since it had been Roxy, but it felt soft and familiar. He wanted much more than to kiss her. The urge was there to walk her into his bedroom and spend the rest of the day there. That feeling only intensified the deeper their kiss became, the taste of her intoxicating. Spence let his hands delve into her hair, eager to touch as much as he could before this was over. There was the acknowledgement of her boyfriend somewhere in the back of his mind, but he was okay with ignoring it for the moment.
Roxy’s hand curled in the back of Spence’s shirt and she made a soft, helpless noise at the feel of his fingers in her hair. It made her head and the back of her neck tingle. She could feel arousal starting to pool in her lower belly as her heart picked up speed, and Roxy knew she needed to pull away. This was bad enough, she couldn’t let it go any further ... but god, it felt so good and she wanted so much more of it. Roxy’s throat felt thick with a churning mix of emotions, but she couldn’t seem to stop kissing him yet. She could forget the rest of the world for just a few more minutes, right?
Spence knew in a few minutes time it would be impossible to stop. It was already extremely difficult now, as he was already surrounded by her, completely immersed in how she felt and tasted. But he also knew if they didn't stop this would go much farther and despite how desperately he wanted that to happen, it didn't feel right with it happening this way. Spence slid his hands into her hair but pulled back just a little. He was trying to think of the right things to say, but his brain felt a bit more jumbled than usual, and all he could really do was give her a faint, lopsided smile. He didn't want to ruin the moment by speaking just yet.
It was probably a blessing that Spence had more willpower than she did and pulled back first. He immediately felt too far away, and Roxy’s head instinctively moved forward a few centimeters to follow him before she caught herself. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and opened her eyes to look back at him, and her heart gave a squeeze at the look on his face. Could she really bring trouble into his life? Hadn’t he had a hard enough time? Roxy clung to Spence’s shirt, not ready to put more space between them yet. “I don’t want to get you hurt,” she whispered, her expression turning pained.
"I won't," Spence assured her, though he knew sometimes it was easier said than done. But he had been through a lot and had seen a lot, and someone like Caden Lucas didn't scare him. "I'm more worried about you, Roxy." He sighed, the faint smile fading. "What can I do?" If she needed help, he would give it to her. Somewhere to go, a place to stay. Honestly, Spence had no idea if she would break up with Caden or not, but he wanted her to know she had a friend, at the very least, if she decided she wanted to. If Caden gave her shit for it, or threatened her, Spence would handle that himself.
Helpless frustration rushed in, and Roxy wanted to shake him for a second. Caden was dangerous, Caden had a gun and access to far more, he had a violent temper and two brothers who might back him up just on principle. And he was possessive of her. Spence had been to war, yes, and she believed he could hold his own, but he wasn’t crazy like Caden was crazy. Roxy could believe he could kill someone in cold blood if he thought he had a good enough reason ... and she was sure he would see this as a good reason. “I don’t know,” she murmured, looking pained. “If I leave him, he’ll hurt me. And if he finds out you’re involved at all, he’ll try to hurt you too. And I can’t ... God, Spence.” Roxy took her hands back to rub them over her face. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t-- I didn’t mean to drag you into this.”
"I wouldn't let him hurt you," Spence told her. "And I'm not afraid of him, Roxy. T-This is..." It was frustrating, but he didn't want to say that. It was hard for him to reconcile that the Roxy he knew in high school had let herself linger in a relationship with someone like Caden, someone she was clearly terrified of. He sighed and reached out to take her hands, gently pulling them away from her face. "What do you want?" he asked her simply. "Fear aside, okay? I know that's not easy to do, b-but... what is it that you want? I'm not going to force you into anything. I c-can't make this decision for you."
While it was a nice sentiment of protection, Roxy knew better than to think she could completely rely on Spence to keep her safe. He couldn’t be with her all the time. And he might not be afraid of Caden, but he also didn’t know Caden. Not like Roxy did. If she told Caden that she was leaving him for another man, he might not kill her, but he would certainly try to ugly her up so nobody else would want her. Her cheeks felt wet when Spence pulled her hands away, and she hated the feeling of weakness, but he was asking an important question, so she tried to push through it. “I want peace,” she answered finally, her expression pained. “That’s all I really want. Just peace and somebody to love me. Who actually trusts me and d-doesn’t hit me to make a point. But if I can’t have that, I just want to relax and not live on eggshells anym-more.” Roxy sniffed and took one hand back to wipe her tears away.
Spence nodded, well aware that he didn't have any of the right words to make any of this go away for her. But he could listen, and be there for her, and let her know he would make all of that happen, if that's what she really wanted. He cupped her face and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll d-do whatever I can to help you. If you need a place to stay or... anything." He couldn't get rid of Caden Lucas completely, but he could make sure the other guy stayed out of her life, if that's what she wanted. "Do you have anyone else who would help? Any support?" She had to have friends, though Spence wasn't sure about her family. They had never seemed overly close in the first place.
Roxy’s instinct was to tell Spence no, to forget about her completely and just move on from his life, because even if she got away from Caden and survived? She would be a right mess. She didn’t want to subject him to all the suffering and fucked-upness she would have to go through while she healed. That was assuming she would heal, and wouldn’t be a fucked up disaster of a person for forever, which currently felt much more likely. Roxy nibbled on her bottom lip and tried to think, shaking her head a little bit. “There’s Mila, but ... she’s got a lot of her own problems. And she’s living with Caden’s brother, and I don’t know how Aaron would take it ... maybe somebody at church? I don’t know.” Going back to her parents didn’t feel like an option, that was for sure, though it might end up being what she had to do as a last resort. “I can’t ask you to put me up, Spence,” she murmured miserably. “None of this is your problem.”
Spence reached up to scratch at his jaw, finding it still a bit jarring that the facial hair was gone. He kind of missed it already. "So... so because it's not my problem, that's it? I'll just ignore the fact that you're with an asshole, go about my day knowing you're unhappy and be okay with it? If the tables were turned, and it was me in your situation, you'd do the same?" He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face then. "I want to h-help you, Roxy. But I can't help you if you don't let me help you. I wouldn't be having this conversation with you, or telling you I'm willing to do all of these things, if I didn't want to do it. And Mila.. if she's your friend, it won't matter who she's living with." At least he hoped not, but he didn't know Mila well at all, and who knew what could happen in these kind of situations. He just felt like the best option was to get Roxy away from the jerk in her life and go from there.
Roxy stared at him for a few heartbeats, thrown off by the insistence on helping her. She’d spent the majority of her life handling her own shit -- or not handling it, as the case may be -- and it felt very strange to have someone really wanting to come to her aid. Especially since it could bring trouble down on his own head. Had she just been closely involved with incredibly selfish people her whole life? Or was Spence something special? Did he still love her? The I don’t want to get you hurt bubbled up to her lips again, but Roxy swallowed it back. That would just frustrate him more. “I mean ... she’ll do what she can, but I can’t stay there. If Caden knows where I am, he won’t leave me alone. We all live in the same trailer park, for fuck’s sake,” she elaborated. This was all giving her a headache. Roxy couldn’t tell if the flicker of hope that it was also giving her was delusional stupidity or what. “And no, of course I would try to help you, I just ... he’s dangerous. Genuinely. And if anything happened to you because of me, I would never forgive myself. But I can’t do this on my own either, so ...” She looked pained and apologetic, nibbling on her bottom lip. She had no idea where to even start.
Spence didn't really know where to start either. "You know you can stay here. And if you don't want to do that, we can try to find you a place. I'm not an expert at this, and I don't have all the answers, but I think the first thing would be to f-figure out what you need. Start getting things together. And I can help you." He had friends who would help him if he asked. Spence didn't touch on the subject of Caden being dangerous. He honestly wasn't worried about that guy, or his family. In Spence's mind, almost everyone had the capability of being 'dangerous', himself included. And maybe that was why he wasn't concerned, or scared. Spence knew he had a darkness inside of him, even if he didn't let it control who he was. That didn't mean it didn't exist, or wouldn't surface if pushed hard enough.
It suddenly felt like there was too much pressure on Roxy’s chest. She’d just come over to give Spence a trim and help him shop a little, and now her whole life was coming apart. She knew it wasn’t that simple, but God, it suddenly felt like Way Too Much. Feeling a little dizzy, she moved further away from Spence, putting one hand on the back of the closest chair. “I, uh ... yeah, okay,” she answered, a bit breathless. Roxy pulled the chair out and sat down, pushing hair back from her face and trying to take deeper, slower breaths. She did not need to have a panic attack or whatever was happening right there in Spence Wheeler’s kitchen. Though if she did take him up on his offer, it might not be the last one. Her mind was reeling with spinning thoughts -- she would need a gun, she would need a new job, she would probably need to avoid Mila for a while, she would need money, she would need her clothes, all her photo albums, all the stuff Caden would probably try to burn, how in the hell was she going to make it through Thanksgiving? You’re such a weak bitch, her father’s voice went off in her head. Roxy fanned her hands in front of her eyes and took a couple of deep inhales to pull her shit together. “I’ll start ... planning.”
He realized, after a stupidly long moment, that he might have just upended her life. Maybe she didn't actually want any of this. Maybe it was too much, maybe he just didn't realize that. "Roxy," he said quietly. "This is... I just want you to be h-happy. I don't want to make you miserable, or afraid or... I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into any of this. But I want to help you, if you want help. If you don't... or you d-don't want any of this, I understand it." He didn't, not really, but he didn't want to make her feel worse. Roxy already looked miserable and scared and Spence couldn't help but feel like it was all his doing. This was just so far out of his comfort zone, and maybe he had gone about it all wrong.
Roxy held a hand up so Spence would stop talking, and closed her eyes to try and gather herself. He didn’t understand, but how could she expect him to? It wasn’t even about him, or this, whatever this turned out to be. She was a prisoner in her own unhappy life, and she’d just resigned herself to the idea that it was always going to be that way. That she loved Caden enough for both of them, and sometimes things just got out of hand but it wasn’t always all his fault, blah blah, all the excuses that had kept her locked down for so long. “I haven’t been happy for a long time,” Roxy murmured finally, once she felt like she could speak without bawling. “I was just ... pretty sure I never would be again. But that’s not going to change unless I change it. You’re not pressuring me ... this needs to happen. I’m just ... y’know, terrified.” She glanced up and offered him a weak smile. “I appreciate you wanting to help me, I really do,” she added softly.
Spence nodded, though he knew he couldn't really understand where she was coming from, because he had never been in her position before. But he knew he didn't want her to be unhappy, or hurt, and she deserved a hell of a lot better than Caden Lucas, even if that person ultimately wasn't Spence. He certainly didn't want Roxy thinking this was some kind of selfish move on his part either. "Y-You want me to talk to Mila with you? If you think she'd h-help. If she's your friend... you know her better than I do. But I think if she'd help you too, it'll be easier. Not easier," Spence corrected, grimacing. "B-But less... suspicious?" He was going to help too, obviously, but Mila being at Roxy's for any reason wasn't going to set off any alarm bells like Spence's presence would.