He was stuttering more, Roxy couldn’t help but notice, and she felt a surge of guilt. If she’d just done the right thing and kept to herself, none of this would be touching Spence’s life. Spence who was so sweet and good, who had endured enough suffering already ... but that line of thought would swallow her up if she let it. It would keep her in this life she obviously didn’t want, and drive her crazy with ‘what-ifs.’ She could try to shield him from Caden as much as she could, but Roxy knew she had to get out. “She’ll help,” she agreed with a nod. “I just can’t stay over there. But she’ll help ... and I can talk to her myself, it’s okay.” Mila would probably be thrilled about it, which didn’t help the sick feeling of dread in Roxy’s stomach. She could all to clearly picture Caden barging over to Mila’s house to try and find Roxy, getting handsy with her if Mila wouldn’t tell ... at least Aaron was there now, that was something. Aaron had his faults, but she didn’t think he would let his brother hurt Mila. Roxy swiped at her eyes again and stood up. “I should go,” she added quietly.
Spence nodded, aware that Roxy knew Mila well enough to know she would help without betraying Roxy's trust. When Roxy stood, Spence's instinctive reaction was to ask her not to go, to stay awhile, even if they just sat around in silence. But he didn't want to make her uncomfortable and maybe she needed some time alone. So Spence reached out to take her hand in his, squeezing gently. "Will you b-be okay? I feel... I'm sorry. If I upset you, or... I don't know. I just want you to be okay."
Roxy needed room and privacy to sob for a few hours and really wrap her head around this. Leaving Caden had crossed her mind a million times, of course, and she’d thrown the possibility in his face in countless arguments, but actually doing it was another beast entirely. She was scared and sad in a bone-deep way that she knew no one else would understand. Roxy let Spence take her hand, and she squeezed his back with a weak smile. “That’s all I want too,” she murmured. After a heartbeat of hesitation, she stepped in close enough to wrap her arms around his shoulders in a fierce hug. “Stop apologizing,” Roxy told him softly. “I’ll be okay, I always am.” She didn’t feel confident in that, she might end up dead, but ... well, maybe that would even be better than what she had now. At least then she could rest.
He wasn't entirely he believed her, but he didn't want to argue or push back and upset her further. So he returned her hug, pressing his face against her hair for a brief moment. Spence didn't want her to go, but he released her, hoping she wouldn't just disappear on him. "You h-have my number if you need it. Anything you need. Even if you need to just come over and get away for awhile, while all of t-this is going on. Will you text me later that you're okay?" He had no idea what she planned to do for the rest of the day, or if she had to work or something. But Spence knew he would worry, regardless of where she was or who she was with.
His concern was so sweet, it made Roxy’s chest ache. It definitely made her feel like he did really care about her. “I know, and I will, I promise,” Roxy said giving Spence’s arm another squeeze before she pulled completely away. It was difficult to stop touching him once she’d started, she was learning. “Sorry to ... just ... I’m sorry too,” she added. There were too many things to be sorry for, they all just bunched up in her throat. That her life was in the mess it was in, that she hadn’t been in a better place when Spence came back home, that she still loved Caden even when she was afraid of him, that she hadn’t made good on her promise to help him shop ... so many things. “Good luck tomorrow, too, okay? Let me know how it goes. You look good.” Roxy reached up to brush her fingers against the short hair on the side of his head, then pulled away again and moved to gather up her stuff.