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The Doctor ([info]just_thedoctor) wrote in [info]seasidecafe,
@ 2008-04-01 00:37:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:stress

The Doctor: Stress (and Hello!)
If the ship had landed a bit closer or the customers inside the café been a little less chatty, they might have heard the distinctive whirling-wheezing-grinding sound, warning them of Margate’s newest arrival. As it is, the thin man in the brown overcoat bursting into the café and stopping abruptly a few paces into the room comes as a surprise. The stranger glances around the space, eyes narrowing, adjusting to the change from the sunny seaside to the interior lighting.

"No..." he scoffs, heavy with skepticism, before turning around and jogging back out the door as quickly as his trainers will carry him.

Only moments pass before he re-enters the café.

"It can't be..." he murmurs and, squinting again, pulls a set of glasses from an inside suit pocket, puts them on, pushing them up the bridge of his nose with his index finger.

He wanders further into the café this time, roaming and examining the entryway, the counter, the tables. "Am I...?" he murmurs. He looks around and grabs a cup of coffee practically from the lips of the poor individual who happened to be closest to him. He sniffs the contents of the mug first, then sticks his fingertip into the beverage and licks the liquid off. He grimaces as he swallows, but the grimace quickly changes into a grin. "Oh, I am. I am in Margate again. Brilliant! Just brilliant! I had forgotten all about this place!"

He frowns suddenly and sinks into a chair, continuing his conversation with himself. "But how could I have forgotten...... it's like... it's like, like there's a perception filter on the whole town!" He snaps his fingers. "Yes, that’s exactly what it’s like! When you're here, you're aware of the place, and when you're not, you don't even think about it."

He runs a hand through his hair, musing, "But why would anyone put a perception filter on a Margate...? That would take so much energy... and what would the point be..." He trails off, hand midway through his hair, eyes widening, suddenly aware of the crowd of people sitting in the café.

A wide smile spreads across his face, which, in combination with his now bigger-than-ever hair results in a slightly-crazed look. "Oh, hello!!! Now, who do we have here? Who is present tonight?" He gets to his feet and begins circulating through the tables.

"Ahh, Caprica Six!" he calls out, walking over to the blonde. He winks and smiles, though the smile doesn’t quite extend to his eyes. "You're looking lovely as always!" He turns and his gaze comes to rest on a dark-haired man. "Alex Krycek!" he exclaims. "Ha! No one’s killed you yet! Amazing!"

He crosses the room, meandering among the tables. "And Professor McGonagall! Hello, there!" He smiles, fondly. "Oh, the mug you gave me -- now that I think about it, still have it! And I'll have you know -- it survived a trip to the end of the Earth."

"Survived a few different endings, actually, come to think of it," he murmurs, already walking away from her.

"And Ianto Jones!" He stares at Ianto for a moment, before saying quite seriously, "I have so much to catch up on with you."

"Say, is Holmes around…" he abruptly asks no one in particular. "Had another edition for him to sign…" he murmurs, looking around the crowd. "Ah-ha! There is he is! Hello!" He waves, then stands at the front of the room, surveying the group. "Look at all of you! A few new faces, but looks like the whole gang's here! It's like... a reunion! Well, a reunion for me... Unless, you've all left, too, and somehow we've all just happened to return, right now, this very day. Say, what day is it?" He grins, positively gleeful. "Do we still have topics to discuss? I loved those chats! Is there a discussion topic right now, hmm?"

"Ah, what’s that? Stress?" he asks as someone calls out from the back. "Ah, stress!" He grins with realization, commenting, "That's what we were talking about when I left! See! I told you I'd be back in ten minutes! Same as ever!"

"So, stress..." He thinks a moment, brow furrowed. "Well, a friend of mine claims I insult other species when I'm stressed. Oh, and I'm rude. Sometimes I get more rude when I'm stressed. Things like 'My, doesn't that dress just make her look like a Krillitane.' and 'Well, how stupid could they possibly be?' just sort of fall out of my mouth. I honestly don't mean to say them and I know, I know, it's probably not the best coping mechanism, it just sorta… happens…" he trails off, smile fading, finally noticing some blank stares and a few of the customers regarding him apprehensively.

"What?"

His expression melts into one of confusion and he repeats the question, more defensively this time. "What?"

His eyes widen and he shakes his head rapidly. "Oh! Oh, no, no, no! No, don't worry! Sorry for the confusion. Just got a new face," he says with a grin. "Bit of trouble with absorbing the time vortex. Well, my friend, Rose, had some trouble with the time vortex, then I..." he breaks off, face falling. "But she's gone..." He sighs, wearily. "It's a long story."

"But I promise, it's really me. I just regenerated recently."

"Still not ginger..." he muses. "Though I did just save a red-haired bride... Well, saved her and Christmas… and the Earth..." he adds off-handedly. "But look, even though I have changed, I'm still me."

He grins again, his tone gentler now, "I'm still just 'The Doctor.'"




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[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-02 03:07 am UTC (link)
*desperately*
I swear to you -- I just hoped to pop out for a moment and come right back. But that's all I had -- hope. No proof that the TARDIS wouldn't crash as soon as I tried to dematerialize... or worse. I just thought, if it worked, great, fantastic, I'd be back and off we could go. *quieter* And if it didn't, no harm done here anyway. *quieter still* I lost everyone, Ianto. I didn't want to be responsible for losing anyone more.
*quieter, darker*
Because that's what happens to people around me -- they can be lost.

*hesitates, then lightly rests a hand on Ianto's shoulder*
I'm sorry you had to go through it too...
*looks distant*
But it wasn't me who stopped it, not on my own anyway.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-02 03:39 am UTC (link)
"I....no, I understand, Doctor, really I do. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though. Being left behind." He looks at him sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I...lost people too. There." Not the whole truth, but part of it." Hr nods. "That can happen to anyone, Doctor."

*tenses for a second, then settles into the touch* "I'm sorry, I don't really know all the details..."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-02 04:13 am UTC (link)
*completely serious, sincere*
I am sorry. For leaving -- without you -- and that you lost people.

*shakes his head, hand still resting on Ianto's arm*
*voice thick*
My friend Rose... She was so brave.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-02 04:20 am UTC (link)
"I'm sorry, too, Doctor. For your loss. I know how much it hurts."

He brings a hand up to rest on the Doctor's shoulder, too. "Rose? Rose Tyler?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-02 04:38 am UTC (link)
*nods, quiet, pained*
Thank you.

*looks up at Ianto, surprised*
Yes. But how...? How do you know her?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-02 04:52 am UTC (link)
He squeezes his shoulder in sympathy. "Thank you, too."

He takes a deep breath. "She was your traveling with you. And part of Torchwood's job was to keep notes on the Doctor and his companions."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-02 05:16 am UTC (link)
*nods*

*nods, slowly*
Oh, yes. Torchwood. *a bit bitterly* Keeping track of me, since I'm such a threat.
*frowns, looks downward*
*looks back to Ianto, takes a breath*
I'm sorry. I don't mean...
*shakes his head*
I'm sorry.
*suddenly*
How did you ever come to work for them?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-02 05:20 am UTC (link)
He looks at him, expression a bit ashamed. "I'm sorry, Doctor." He gives a shake of his head. "No, don't worry about it. I mean, you have good reason to think like that." He takes a deep breath. "I was recruited. Before I finished university."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-02 05:02 pm UTC (link)
*looks downward again, scuffs his trainer into the floor, nods silently*

*looks up at Ianto suddenly*
Did you like it? Working there, I mean?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-02 05:35 pm UTC (link)
He thinks about this for awhile. “I liked parts of it, yes. Some of the beings, some of the things I got to see, to work with. It’s amazing, to learn that there’s so much more out there, things that we’ve never even dreamed of. And a lot of the people were wonderful. Not the people in charge, but the people I worked with, researchers and field agents, the lackeys.” He shakes his head. “But I didn’t like the attitude there at all. So violent and proprietary and self-righteous.” Bitterly: “'If it’s alien, it’s ours.’ See how that one turned out.”

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[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-02 06:16 pm UTC (link)
*listens intently, nodding*
*quite serious, darkly*
That attitude certainly contributed to the situation. That and just having people in charge who have no idea what's out there. No idea your place in the universe. Take arrogance and add ignorance and you've got a recipe for disaster. *trails off, shaking his head*
*begins again, stronger*
And it's a shame. Because I'm sure there were others there, like you, who wanted to learn more, who had pride in the human race -- rightfully so -- but also had respect for the rest of the cosmos.
*quiet*
So many opportunities with each you... *bitterly* So many wasted.

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[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-02 06:27 pm UTC (link)
“Yeah. People like Yvonne…They just have no right to do some of the things they did. Most of the things they did, really. There’s just so much out there, so much to see, so much to learn, and all they wanted to do was…use them. Not appreciate them.” His voice becomes quiet. “And it did end disastrously.”

His face falls, and he looks down, talking to the floor. “There were. A good group of us. Mostly just like me, right out of university. Still bright-eyed and idealistic. Hopeful.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath, voice shaking as he speaks. “I had a girlfriend there. Lisa. She…was turned.”

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[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-02 08:12 pm UTC (link)
*eyes widen, jaw falls open a bit, shocked*
I am so sorry.
*squeezes Ianto's shoulder*
I am so, so sorry.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-02 08:53 pm UTC (link)
He's still looking down. "I tried to save her. Tried so hard. Did some really stupid things, really. Things I should have known better than to do."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-02 11:34 pm UTC (link)
*steps closer, moves his hand from Ianto's shoulder to his back, patting it*
*quietly*
Well, who hasn't done stupid things for love...
*quieter still*
Do you want to talk about it?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-02 11:37 pm UTC (link)
He moves in closer, putting an arm around the Doctor as well, grateful for the contact. He takes a deep breath. "She...she never got turned all the way. She was still part human. Still had Lisa's face, Lisa's voice..."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-03 12:33 am UTC (link)
*quietly*
Oh...
*shakes his head*
*tightens his arm around Ianto's shoulders*
*softly*
Was there... There wasn't enough left...?
*lets the question hang*

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-03 12:36 am UTC (link)
His body is tense and trembling slightly under the touch. "No. I tried. Tried so hard. Tried everything. I took her back to Cardiff after Canary Wharf was destroyed. But...she was too far gone. Not enough of Lisa left. She...tried to pick up where the others had left off. I put everyone in danger..." He breaks off with a strangled sob.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-03 02:02 am UTC (link)
*pulls Ianto in for a hug*
*voice thick*
I am so, so sorry.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-03 02:31 am UTC (link)
He leans into the touch, grateful. "I...Thank you."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-03 04:34 am UTC (link)
*nods wordlessly, continuing to hold Ianto*
*quietly*
I'm sorry there wasn't more I could do to help then.
*hesitates a moment, then continues*
How long has it been for you?

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[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-03 04:42 am UTC (link)
Takes a deep breath, the Doctor's embrace comforting. "It's not your fault. You did everything you could." He takes a deep breath. "As far as I remember, not that long. Not even a year. But...apparently I lost some of my memory, falling through the rift."

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[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-04 12:48 am UTC (link)
*rubs Ianto's back briefly, then squeezes him*
*quietly*
Still, I wish I could have done more.
*gently releases him from the hug, but continues keeping his arm wrapped about Ianto's shoulders*
*frowns slightly*
How do you mean, lost some of your memory?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notjusta_teaboy
2008-04-04 01:07 am UTC (link)
He sighs softly. "I know the feeling. Try not to beat your self up too much, yeah?"

He takes a deep breath, trying to work out how to explain this. "The Vortex Manipulator that Jack has, he did some scans of me with it. And I'm older than I think I am. And as far as we can tell, he and I come from the same dimension, but he has memories going about a year farther than I do. So apparently I lived all those months in Cardiff, but lost the memories when I feel through the rift to end up here."

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[info]just_thedoctor
2008-04-04 03:38 am UTC (link)
*shrugs, looks downward, nods*

*listens, nodding*
*hushed*
Weird...
*curiously*
Are some of the memories catching up with you?

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