[FIC] Remus/Tonks -- Learning to Live (NC-17) Title: Learning to Live Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Remus/Tonks Kink(s): more vanilla Challenge: Lusty Month of May Marathon, day nine Words: 839 Notes: Repost of the LMoMM fic - day nine Originally Posted: May 2005
"Remus, where are you?"
Remus rolled over in bed, looking into the face of his lover of only a few weeks. He smiled softly, running a hand through her currently bubble-gum pink hair. If Remus was a betting man, and under normal circumstances, he wasn't, he would have sworn her hair was orange when they went to bed.
"Right here, Tonks," Remus replied, rubbing her cheek lovingly with his thumb.
She shook her head. "No you're not. I've been saying your name for the past half hour. This is the first time you've answered me."
Remus glanced away from her briefly and that one look spoke volumes. Lightly, Tonks lifted Remus's face up so he was forced to look her in the eye.
"You were thinking about him weren't you." It was less a question than an accusatory statement of fact. When Remus didn't respond, Tonks pressed on, though her tone was slightly more gentle. "He's gone, Remus. And nothing you or I or anyone can do will ever bring him back."
"I know," Remus whispered, burying his face between her breasts. "Don't you think I don't know that?"
"Then why are you still holding onto him so tightly? I understand you loved him," Tonks said, threading her fingers through Remus's hair. "But you have to let him go. You'll be miserable for the rest of your life if you don't... let him go."
Remus raised his head. "Since when did you get so smart?" he asked, placing a light kiss on her breast.
Tonks chuckled, tilting her head to the side. "Well, every now and then I have my moments of brilliance. They are few and far between, but they do happen on occasion." She chuckled, her hands moving to his shoulders. "Just don't tell anyone about them or you'll spoil my reputation of being a flake."
"You're not a flake, but your secret's safe with me," Remus replied softly, lightly sucking on one of her nipples, teasing the other with his thumb and fore-finger.
With a soft moan, Tonks arched her back into the touch, her hands clutching at Remus's back; nails lightly scoring the skin. Remus's teeth grazed the sensitive skin and he loved hearing her soft moans and whimpers.
It was called healing. His mind knew that it would take time to accept someone else who wasn't Sirius and that at some point the memories of two lovers would be able to co-exist in peace. But for now, he would simply bury himself in Tonks and forget. Was it using her? Perhaps. But it was using to heal and could he really be faulted for that?
Remus's hand trailed across Tonks's stomach as he suckled her breast like a child. His mouth moved to the other breast as he used his hand to spread her legs apart just slightly. Remus hardened hearing Tonks's moans and it was the continuation of a never ending battle to not just bury himself inside her right then and there.
Flicking his tongue across the other nipple and loving the way she moaned and writhed beneath him, Remus slipped a finger inside her. Tonks's moans turned to whimpers as Remus fingered her cunt, his thumb rubbing her clit. For a man who had been with another man for most of his life, Remus certainly knew what to do with a woman.
Tonks whimpered when Remus removed her hand. Kissing his way up her chest and finally to her lips, he smiled down at the young woman; the only one who had the strength to take a broken man to her bed.
"Thank you," he whispered, kissing the corner of her mouth.
Of anything she expected prior to sex, thank you certainly wasn't on the list of them. Tonks smiled, cupping Remus's face in her hands.
"For what?"
Remus positioned himself above her; pushing in with one easy movement. Tonks's hips bucked upwards to meet the thrust; her back arching.
"For helping me to heal."
They moved on the bed together in a dance older than the two of them combined; even older than Remus felt at times. His hands ran all over her body as he thrust into her, wanting to memorise every feature as if it was the first time they made love. Tonks's face was flushed, a strand of her pink hair clinging to her forehead like some solitary soldier. Remus lightly kissed her forehead as he buried himself inside her.
Tonks's orgasm ripped through her, her inner muscles clenching around Remus and it was enough to finally drive him over the edge. He cried out softly, not trusting himself to say a name for fear he would have said Sirius's name rather than Tonks's. Their pace came to a slow rest; Remus still sheathed completely inside Tonks.
With a smile, she lovingly kissed Remus, finally seeing the haunted look in his eyes leaving him. Whether or not it would last forever she could not say but Tonks was happy to see him happy for once.