InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "16 right, 11 left."

arbre_rieur (arbre_rieur) wrote in scans_daily,
@ 2009-09-11 13:50:00

Entry tags:

char: spawn/al simmons, creator: alan moore, group: wildcats, series: when alan moore was crap, title: spawn/wildcats

When Alan Moore was crap (Spawn/WildCATs, Part 1)
Continuing the look through the sub-par stories Alan Moore produced during his mid-90s slump...
***
You've seen the rest*, now see the worst.

This.. I'm not sure how to describe this mini-series. I really wanted to like it. Moore's run on the WildCATs series proper, which I'd read before this, is genuinely good stuff, so I know he the ability to turn out good stories using these characters. However, I ended up really disappointed. This story isn't just bad by Moore standards. It's bad by anyone's standards, and mind-bogglingly so. Normally, even when a Moore story is bad, it's still original or distinct. Whatever else, he's never generic. A voice always shows through. This series, in contrast, is the very definition of generic.

There are plenty of Alan Moore work I've never read, but even so, I'd feel pretty safe betting that this is the worst thing he's ever written professionally. I mean, this is the sort of thing where, if it was written by a new writer, you'd do your hardest to avoid any future works by the guy because there is so little skill apparent here that you'd be positive the person's a lost cause. It's almost comforting in its way: The knowledge that Moore is really is just as capable as anyone else of scripting utterly uninspired schlock B-movie dialogue on an off day.

*Well, I skipped the Fire From Heaven crossover because I'd forgotten about it and didn't remember until I'd already begun composing this entry.

On Earth, Spawn attacks the WildCATs, claiming they attacked him first. But then he realizes that these WildCATs aren't the same ones he fought.

The fake WildCATs show up at the real WildCATs' headquarters.

The newcomers explain that they're from the future.

The Ipsissimus takes over Earth. The future WildCATs send two of their own back in time to prevent it from ever happening.

I'm not sure how this series wound up so bad. I mean, the ingredients here seem like they could make something good. Moore's run on WildCATs proved that he can produce good stuff with that cast. The origin of the amulet at the beginning of the story is genuinely pretty cool. And given Moore's interest in the occult and his clever imagination, you'd think story about a post-apocalyptic future overtaken by demons from hell would be the sort of thing he could knock out of the ballpark.

But no. Instead, what we get is a parade of every single cliche that exists for this time of story.

Future-Spawn's minions locate and attack the base. The heroes escape by teleporting to a section of the rebel-held tunnel systems.

They head toward the Chrystler Building, which is future-Spawn's headquarters. It's America's new seat of government after the destruction of the White House. Future-Spawn named it the Red House.

(Post a new comment)

	joseph_k101 2009-09-11 10:21 pm UTC (link)
	Instead of looking sinister or imposing the Chrystler building looks like a sort of demon-y hotel with Spawn's neon symbol on the side. (Reply to this)

	persoconchii 2009-09-12 01:00 am UTC (link)
	yet the thing that annoys me the most is Voodoo's hair... Why oh why is it in her face so much?? (Reply to this)

	fungo_squiggly 2009-09-12 01:27 am UTC (link)
	Didn't read the rest of it, but I thought that first part about the amulet's origins really was pretty neat. I like the idea of super-magic people just hanging out beyond space and time, and messing with the universe not even out of malice, but just because they're bored and want something to play with. It's kind of like Mr. Mxyzptlk mixed with Lovecraft's Old Ones. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Yeah, this. jazzypom 2009-09-12 07:36 am UTC (link)
	Beyond the rim, there is magic. Wonderful, just wonderful. Ehh, never had truck with Image comics, and people have heard me rage and rage, so I shan't do it here. But yes, fantastic beginning. The first panel, guh. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	arbre_rieur 2009-09-13 07:42 am UTC (link)
	I like that part a lot too. Unfortunately, I think it's the only truly good sequence in this entire mini-series. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	dullscythe 2009-09-12 01:51 am UTC (link)
	Man. The art in this is hideous. When I think of "90s comics" in a generic sense, I think of crap that looks and reads like this. (Reply to this)

Guh...

nefrekeptah
2009-09-12 03:21 am UTC (link)

I'm sorry,I just - cannot get past Zelots's absolutely ridiculous excuse for an outfit. If someone showed up to the beach wearing that thing, they would be arrested for indecent exposure. I know how stripperific superheroine outfits usually are, but dear God, that thing would make Starfire blush!

I can only assume that future!Zelot is actually an exhibitionist, and very reluctantly wears clothes souly on the insistence of her teammates - that's why she put so much armor on her face, so she'd have less material to affix to her body.

...to affix to her body with super-glue. Those little armor pieces over her nipples must be a bitch to get off.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Guh... nezchan 2009-09-12 03:31 am UTC (link)
	You said "get off", hehehe. Yes, I'm five. I am however, genuinely amused that the statue of Voodoo is even more gratuitously exploitative than the actual character right below it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	thekamisama.livejournal.com 2009-09-12 05:00 am UTC (link)
	Even Alan Moore's slumming is still better than most writers top tier work. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	This. jazzypom 2009-09-12 07:59 am UTC (link)
	If it weren't for the fact that I didn't like Wildcats, I'd have been all over Alan Moore. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	arbre_rieur 2009-09-13 07:41 am UTC (link)
	Normally, I would completely agree. Not here, not for this, though. Like I asked psychops_rex below, once you get past the opening sequence, what do you actually find good about this? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	halloweenjack 2009-09-14 07:54 pm UTC (link)
	If this is the devil's deal that Moore had to make in order to start America's Best Comics, it was more than worth it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	psychop_rex 2009-09-12 05:54 am UTC (link)
	Sorry, man, but I've got to take issue yet again. I will agree that the PLOT is not terribly original at all, but I see nothing wrong with the writing. Even when working with cliches, Moore's still Moore. The man certainly isn't flawless, but I've never read any of his stuff that could be described as 'bad', at least as far as I'm concerned. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	arbre_rieur 2009-09-13 07:40 am UTC (link)
	Seriously? Okay, I have to ask, what do you actually like about it? The opening sequence is really good, and the one page closing in on the flag is well-done, but those are literally the only moments in the whole thing I find remotely appealing. What parts do you like? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

psychop_rex
2009-09-13 08:07 am UTC (link)

It's not so much the thing as a whole that I like, it's the quality of the writing. The dialogue, the imaginative terms that Moore comes up with, the general pacing - that's all well-done, and that counts for a lot in any medium. For example, I've seen some movies which were were about as cliche-ridden as you could possibly get, with plots that defined the term 'by the book' - not one surprise did they have, but I enjoyed 'em anyway, because the dialogue was reasonably snappy and while the cliches were everywhere, they were reasonably well-done cliches. And none of those were written by Alan Moore.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	ex_menagerie993 2009-09-12 08:37 pm UTC (link)
	Starts off well enough at least. No idea what to make of the rest (half the images aren't showing up for me). (Reply to this)

	comicoz 2009-09-14 06:55 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, the assassination attempt did fail, but your target is RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU. Sometimes, the obvious fix is best ignored, I guess. (Reply to this)