A big difference between how the bat-family has been written lately and how it used to be isn't just because Oracle went off, Spoiler died (for a while) and Batgirl went off, it's because collectively the stories are no longer coherent.
And I think that's a larger problem with DC's approach to cross-over titles nowadays. I mean, looking at Batman RIP, there were references in all the bat-titles (and even Teen Titans, but notably not in BoP) to Batman being dead before Final Crisis 6. Not only that, you had Batman "die" in Outsiders, Batman RIP, and Final Crisis.
And all the tie-ins to Final Crisis, it's really hard to figure out the chronological order for everything. Same with Battle for the Cowl and its tie-ins.
I think their problem is that they want to do a big-event story, but they want people to be able to pick and choose what parts of it they want to read, depending on their preferences for titles, creators or characters. But in doing so it all becomes disjointed and contradictory, adding up to one big incoherent story, and making for unsatisfactory reading.
I would much rather have had, say, one weekly series for three months that included all of the relevant characters and was one complete story that included everyone in a way that makes sense.
I could be completely wrong given that I wasn't really weekly single-issue comics back then, but when I reading the trades of Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive and No Man's Land and other stories from what I shall call the "bat-family era", there really is a sense of interconnectedness. Characters are not isolated to their own title, and even if you don't have or want, say, Oracle constantly guest-starring in Robin, you would still get the occasional couple of panels where Tim checks something with Babs or she's checking on him, geographical distances be damned (because she's the GODDAMN ORACLE).
Whereas you don't really see that kind of thing in recent years. And the sad part is that the ones who suffer the most from it are the Bat-girls. Oracle doesn't appear in RIP or get to react to Bruce's death, she doesn't check up on Robin, and Cass doesn't get to appear in BoP, she doesn't try to help Robin, appear in RIP or react to Bruce's death either.
I mean, hey, I love manly tears as much as the next gal, and I'm glad we get to see Dick and Alfred crying and mourning and dealing, but for there to be no moment like that that includes Babs? That's crap.