I think what you've described is the "hamhanded blatantness that destroys suspension of disbelief and kills the fantasy" that I mentioned. And I couldn't agree more.
Fact is, a well drawn woman is almost guaranteed to be sexy no matter what, even if the artist tries to de-emphasize it. It's just not necessary to hit us over the head with it, unless it's in a character's nature to flaunt their sexuality. The fetish gear outfits of the Hellfire Club women are an example of this, and Catwoman and Black Cat should be as well. Star Sapphires also fit this profile. Everyone else? Not so much. But artists keep on laying it on thick and heavy, and it often blasts right past sexy and ends up somewhere in the territory of "fucking ridiculous". If they'd instead just concentrate on making the female characters awesome, as you say, the sexy would take care of itself.
So don't worry. Not only did you make perfect sense to me, I agree with you. Well said. :)