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Tweak says, "Big O! Showtime!"

cyberghostface (cyberghostface) wrote in scans_daily,
@ 2009-04-23 13:24:00

Entry tags:

genre: parody

A very special Chick Tract

You think you've seen them all, have you? Think again...

(Post a new comment)

	darklorelei 2009-04-23 12:52 pm UTC (link)
	Ia ia! (Reply to this)

	dorksidefiker 2009-04-23 01:02 pm UTC (link)
	Vote Cthulhu 2012. Those who do will be eaten first. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	darklorelei 2009-04-23 01:04 pm UTC (link)
	Why vote for the lesser evil? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daningram 2009-04-23 03:11 pm UTC (link)
	Wait, how can Bush run for president again? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kosaginolegion 2009-04-23 03:21 pm UTC (link)
	Word on the street is that a certain Alaskan Governor thinks she has a chance. The Aztecs might be right about 2012. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	xlineartx 2009-04-23 03:26 pm UTC (link)
	Hahaha. I think Obama could phone that one in. I would pay to see the White House's reaction if she declared her candidacy. Rahm Emmanuel alone would be priceless. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kosaginolegion 2009-04-23 04:50 pm UTC (link)
	I think he's got a good chance but I never underestimate the possibilities of someone snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, so I'm not going into that one with perfect confidence. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	irenem 2009-04-23 03:54 pm UTC (link)
	Mayans, dear. Mayans. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kosaginolegion 2009-04-23 04:49 pm UTC (link)
	Whoops. Yep. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	proteus_lives 2009-04-23 04:20 pm UTC (link)
	Could Palin be one of the 1000 forms of Nyarlathotep? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kosaginolegion 2009-04-23 04:48 pm UTC (link)
	More likely Mother Hydra. I'd hesitate to associate her in any way, shape or formlessness with the Dark Man. Besides, she inspires rage and sour mockery more than madness. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jlroberson 2009-04-23 10:34 pm UTC (link)
	Her hair hides the tentacles. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	superfan1 2009-04-28 12:59 am UTC (link)
	You know it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	daggerpen 2009-04-23 02:21 pm UTC (link)
	I always loved this one. (Reply to this)

	freakylynx 2009-04-23 02:29 pm UTC (link)
	lol (Reply to this)

	ashtoreth 2009-04-23 02:48 pm UTC (link)
	I remember my last gaming convention. We marched through the streets singing "Chthulhu fhtagn!" (Reply to this)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-04-23 03:11 pm UTC (link)
	This one is good, but my favorite is this one here: http://www.fredvanlente.com/cthulhutract/pages/index.html (Reply to this) (Thread)

	proteus_lives 2009-04-23 04:18 pm UTC (link)
	That one was great! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	psychop_rex 2009-04-24 01:43 am UTC (link)
	It is, but I think it was off by a little bit - while I'm no particular fan of Lovecraft, I'm pretty certain that, in his canon, there IS an afterlife. Only thing is, there are MORE Great Old Ones there, too! Boo yah! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hmmmm. proteus_lives 2009-04-24 02:29 am UTC (link)
	Did they consider the dreamlands the afterlife or just another dimension? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Hmmmm.

psychop_rex
2009-04-24 03:02 am UTC (link)

Another dimension, I think. At any rate, ghosts showed up in HPL stories all the time - there is one spot in the Dreamlands (a ruined city of some sort, I believe) that is 'populated' solely and entirely by ghosts - they're the ghosts of a vanished race, wiped out in some immense disaster, who just hang around the ruins looking mournful. Also, he had ghouls (although they may or may not have been the classical type of ghouls) which would also seem to imply some sort of afterlife.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	Re: Hmmmm. cricharddavies 2009-04-24 10:51 am UTC (link)
	Given that Kuranes dies in the real world but continues to live in the Dreamlands, the idea that it's an afterlife is inescapable. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	IT'S TRUE! proteus_lives 2009-04-23 04:21 pm UTC (link)
	We're all doomed! Embrace the end of all things! Ia! Ia! Ia! (Reply to this)

	mullon 2009-04-23 06:00 pm UTC (link)
	I want Chick to find out about us and declare us evil in one his comics. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	proteus_lives 2009-04-24 02:31 am UTC (link)
	That would be the ultimate fucking street cred! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	foxhack 2009-04-24 11:41 am UTC (link)
	Great. A tract featuring slashers, porn junkies and furries. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	majingojira 2009-04-23 09:31 pm UTC (link)
	An Oldie but a Goodie! (Reply to this)

	psychop_rex 2009-04-24 01:40 am UTC (link)
	All right, I admit it - that COMPLETELY surprised me. I thought I was going to get another crazy Chick tract, but this is awesome. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	morgana006 2009-04-24 09:47 am UTC (link)
	I kept expecting a third person to come up and bless them with the power of Jesus until they forget all about Lovecraft. still scarred over the Harry Potter Chick tract (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	psychop_rex 2009-04-24 02:45 pm UTC (link)
	...I don't even want to THINK about a Harry Potter Chick tract. Let me guess - someone tells him 'hey, Jesus is nifty, you don't need magic - why don't you toss away your wand and burn all your friends as witches', and then he does, right? Blecch. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	morgana006 2009-04-24 03:37 pm UTC (link)
	"I don't like him, he reminds me of Jesus." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

psychop_rex
2009-04-24 04:18 pm UTC (link)

OH I AM SO ANGRY NOW! How can ANYBODY be such an ignorant lunkhead? Harry Potter leads to Satanism, and so do Tarot cards, Ouija boards and crystal balls, eh? So, in short, about two thirds of my friends and contemporaries are Satanists, and so am I! STUPID, STUPID IGNORANT BIGOTED ARAARARARARARARARRRRRRRRGGGGHH! *pounds head against screen*
...Well, that was therapeutic. Seriously, though, it is my definite opinion that Chick has never seen any more of the world than his home state (somewhere in the deep south, I presume) and scattered churches elsewhere - because if he had, he would know that 99.5% of the rubbish he preaches is completely and utterly false, and the rest is deeply suspect. I mean, there IS no form of Satanic witchcraft, because witchcraft is not Satanic! Maybe at some point there WERE people who called themselves witches and worshipped Satan, but today it's all about the Wiccans, baby - and Wiccans have about as much to do with Satanism as a rubber ducky has to do with a duck-billed Platypus. And I don't know what things are like where he lives, but I live in northern California, and just about EVERYONE here is into one of the things he preaches against, and I can assure you, we're not Satanists. If you've got a beef about Satanists, preach against $^$#in' SATANISTS, not cheap knock-offs that only exist in your fevered little brain. If there IS a heaven, when Chick dies and marches confidently up to the Pearly Gates, St. Peter is going to drop-kick his ass off the edge of the cloud, saying 'Begone, #@^&-wad! Thanks to you, the only people who get to heaven anymore are jerks and idiots!'
Man alive, I'm steamed right now. I think I'll go kick something.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	morgana006 2009-04-25 08:44 am UTC (link)
	Do you need an emergency dose of kitten? It's okay. You need people who take up all the Crazy so the rest of us have less. Yes, I am hopelessly optimistic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

psychop_rex
2009-04-25 03:02 pm UTC (link)

Naw, I'm fine. I calmed down pretty quickly (I have a cute kitty of my own to help with that). And I know that there will always be crazies out there spewing hate and ignorance - it's just that the religious ones in particular really get my goat.
And really, I'm fine with crazy as long as it's the GOOD kind of crazy, which there is far too little of. Why can't we have any crazy people who fly hot air balloons low over people's houses, shouting 'JELLY BEANS FOR EVERYONE!' while tossing great handfuls over the side? Or mad scientists. We don't have enough mad scientists.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	morgana006 2009-04-25 03:52 pm UTC (link)
	I can be that kind of crazy. heroic pose (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	psychop_rex 2009-04-25 04:08 pm UTC (link)
	I demand proof. (Reply to this) (Parent)