Right--and within canon it's written into her character just as Tim's obsessiveness and detective skills are part of his. And that in itself isn't a problem for me because every character should be written with strengths and weaknesses
So I think you're saying that it's not wrong that Steph has flaws, just as Bruce, Jason and Tim do (Dick, too, but I can't think of any except the ones that involve being too nice, too trusting, too willing to support, too loyal, too something something;) If so, I would agree. I think my biggest problem in most stories that involve Bruce and Steph is how Bruce treats her. Very, very interesting thoughts on how all of the characters' personalities vary.
DitF didn't allow his death to come out of that (as I think it should have) Wow. That would have been so, so interesting.
So then Tim shows up and Bruce is reluctant but Tim also has a temperment that takes to this so it works. So in my mind Stephanie is more like Jason--just with totally different issues. I can understand why she doesn't get into the program and given the history I can understand Bruce being stubborn and knee-jerk about it if she hits his Jason buttons. Only they *don't* have Bruce acting responsibly with Steph at all. They have him give her mixed messages and play his mindgames that come across differently to her (a normal person) than they do with somebody like Tim. It makes it so you can't really defend him by saying he learned a hard lesson with Jason because he's even more irresponsible here, trying to have it both ways, use her when he wants without having to give her anything in return, kind of keep her in the dark about herself.