ONE: Context. Reed is striking Sue as a tactic to stop her from killing her friends and family. She has been possessed by Malice and is displaying heretofore untapped levels of power and has almost single-handedly defeated the team. Reed uses the only tactic he can think of, which is to make his wife hate him legitimately to force her real emotions to overwhlem the manipulated ones. A woman who was already reeling from a miscarriage and who he dearly loves. And after its over, they retire to work on their relationship and their family.
Hank Pym, by contrast, is a fucking mess. He's been turned into a caveman. He's been stuck in giant form. He's been brainwashed by his own creation. He's inhaled chemicals that give him schizophrenia. He has had a full mental breakdown. He and his wife had relationship troubles almost from the very beginning. In the midst of some of these events, he struck his wife and then became emotionally abusive. He was repeatedly dismissive of her for at least a year, where he'd say nasty things, demean and insult her and generally treat her like crap. He only struck her once, but he was abusing her for a while, if only emotionally.
Two: The Ultimates brought this whole thing back into the collective consciousness. I literally read the issue where Hank struck Jan in the Ultimates and put it down and never bought another issue. EVER. And I know friends of mine who felt the same and did likewise. 616 Hank is tarnished by that brush. And there was an impression that this wasn't the first time, just the first time we'd seen it....and that impression carries back to 616-Hank, too.