First, it wasn't a rape and if we, the fanbase, hadn't been so willing to see what we knew critically couldn't have happened, we wouldn't have had the wharble we had last week.
I reject your reasons for asserting that it couldn't have happened, because a) Marvel was just as vague about whether Peter and Michelle had had sex as they'd been about whether the Chameleon and Michelle had sex, and b) even if Peter and Michelle did have sex (which, to be fair, I believe was the case), they were both very drunk, to the point that it would be very easy to believe that Michelle wouldn't be able to tell the difference between two sets of male genitals, unless there was a significant size difference, and even then, with as much as they'd both had to drink, she could easily chalk it up to his reactions or her memories being different as a result of the alcohol (which makes as much sense as her suddenly wearing his clothes after ONLY "making out").
If Peter weren't Spider-man, he'd be a better Peter all the time [...]
Except not, because at the beginning of "Brand New Day," when Peter had "quit" being Spider-Man, and hadn't swung on a web for at least three months, the writers took great pains to show that he was just as much of a hopeless failure even when he wasn't shouldering the responsibility of Spider-Man, so no, as Marvel itself has explicitly stated in its "Spider-Man Manifesto," Peter fails whether he's Spider-Man or not, because he's a "loser."